You Are All I'll Ever Need Read online

  I didn’t gloat at his vulnerable moment. Slade hardly showed this side of himself, and I’m pretty sure he only showed it to me. Everyone pegged him as an asshole but I knew he wasn’t—at all.

  “Shit, you know what I just realized?”

  “What?”

  “If you go to Stanford, I won’t see you every day.” His eyes were wide in panic.

  “Then maybe I shouldn’t go on that interview.”

  He calmed down. “No, you should go. You can’t change your life for me and some girl.”

  “She’s not some girl.”

  “Whatever.”

  “And if I go there, it’s only for a few years. And then I’ll be back in New York and we can see each other every day.”

  “Well…I don’t know about every day,” he said with a laugh.

  “We see each other every day now,” I reminded him.

  “True.” He seemed to realize something. “You have to let me give you your first tattoo.”

  “When you say first, it implies I’m going to get more—which I’m not.”

  “Come on, a good-looking doctor with a tat right on his bicep—the girls will go wild.”

  “Well, I’ll be married to Skye so the girls don’t matter.”

  “But I bet Skye will like it.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

  I laughed. “I’m pretty sure she likes me just as I am—loves me, actually.”

  He made a face. “Whatever. You’re lame.”

  “Slade, please don’t tell Skye about this Stanford thing.”

  “She’s going to find out anyway,” he said. “You may as well tell her.”

  “But I don’t want to have this conversation for as long as possible.”

  “I’ve known Skye my whole life,” he said. “She would be upset if you didn’t tell her you got into Stanford.”

  “Well, knowing her, she would want me to go and wouldn’t even discuss it with me.”

  He sighed. “Fine. You know I got your back.”

  “Thanks. I appreciate it.”

  He held his fist out to me. “Best friends forever.”

  “When you say it like that, we sound gay.”

  He shrugged. “If I were going to be gay with anyone, it would be you.”

  I laughed. “Thanks for the compliment.” I fist-pounded him.

  He dropped his hand. “So, when do we leave?”

  Chapter Five

  Roland

  I looked at my phone to see if I got a message from Tina. My inbox was completely empty.

  “Franny blew me off too.” Conrad drank his beer with his eyes glued to the TV.

  The bar was quiet but that was nice. It was easier to get a beer and a better seat in front of the TV. “They played us.”

  “I think they were married.”

  “What?” My eyes left my phone and focused on him. “Where did you get that idea?”

  “There were countless times when she had to leave the room and make a phone call. And she just…acted weird. And now she won’t return any of my calls. And when we were together, she wouldn’t tell me where she lived. She only wanted to come to my place.”

  Come to think of it, I had the same experience with Tina. “She never told me where she lived either…”

  “Come on, what were the odds three models were single?”

  I put my phone down and sighed. “Shit, now I’ve slept with two married women. My dad would kick my ass if he knew.”

  “This doesn’t count. You didn’t know.”

  “I should have noticed the signs.”

  “I wonder if Slade’s was married too,” Conrad said. “Slade didn’t say much about his time with her.”

  “Maybe she wasn’t good in bed or something.”

  Conrad laughed. “I find that hard to believe for some reason. All a hot girl needs to do is open her legs and she’s automatically great in the sack.”

  I chuckled. “You got a point.” I left my phone on the table. “Oh well. I guess the fun is over.”

  “It’s not like we wanted anything else anyway.” Conrad didn’t seem too down about the loss.

  “Yeah…” I sighed and scanned the people in the bar. “But it’s going to be hard to find girls who can compete with them.”

  Conrad shrugged. “There are pretty girls in Boston. But I’m excited to move to New York. Beautiful women saturate every street and every corner.”

  “And if your sister goes into fashion, we’ll have the opportunity to meet even more beautiful women.”

  “I knew that hag would be good for something.” He clanked his beer against mine.

  “All those years of torment will pay off,” I added. “I just wish my sister had some hot friends. Outside of her family, she has nobody.”

  “Well, Cayson.”

  “He doesn’t count. He’s not hot and doesn’t have a vagina. My sister really needs to get out and make some friends.”

  “Trinity too. She sticks to Skye like glue.”

  “I don’t know if that’s true anymore,” I said. “Skye’s practically a leech to Cayson.”

  “Poor bastard.” Conrad shook his head. “What does he see in her?”

  “I couldn’t tell you. With his looks and his smarts, he could be going through women like water. But no, he chooses to waste it on some annoying girl that doesn’t know how to stop talking for a few minutes.”

  “Well, on the bright side, at least you don’t have to worry about your sister anymore. She’s got a good guy who’s loyal to her. Now you don’t have to worry about her being used by some asshole.”

  “I don’t care about her,” I spat.

  “I don’t care about Trinity either but I do.”

  I guess if he was going to admit it, I could too. “It’s nice that I never have to worry about another Zack. Cayson is a good guy. He’s already family but at least now he’ll actually be related to me.”

  “Yeah. With Trinity…I don’t know what’s in store for her. I don’t know why any guy would want to settle down with her. Maybe she should become a nun.”

  I chuckled. “She doesn’t strike me as the kind of girl who wants to be celibate.”

  Conrad didn’t respond to my comment.

  I finished my beer then left the empty glass on the table.

  Conrad was eyeing a woman sitting alone at the bar. “She’s cute.”

  I eyed her long legs and pretty blonde hair. “Yeah, she is.”

  “I think I’m going to go for it. You’ll be okay by yourself?”

  I cocked an eyebrow. “I’m not a little girl.”

  “Sometimes I forget.” He winked at me then approached the blonde. He flashed her a smile then made her laugh. Their conversation took off and she seemed immediately taken with him.

  I stayed in the booth, unsure what to do with myself now that my best bud was busy. Conrad and I were inseparable since I could remember. When I was younger, my dad and uncle always joked that Conrad and I would be the new CEOs of the company, and we would get into as much trouble as they did in their youth. The second part of that was right, not so much the first.

  The truth is, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. I was getting my bachelor’s in business but I didn’t know what I would do with that. It was pretty broad so my options were open. But I just didn’t see myself being a suit like my father. I’m not ungrateful and I’m not complaining, but I’m not sure if I’m responsible enough to run a company with hundreds of thousands of employees. It was a pretty big job.

  My sister was perfect for it. She was smart, organized, firm, and responsible. I knew she would be the new owner of that company the second she was ready. She was controlling and headstrong like my father. My dad and I were close but we never had a connection like he and Skye did. My mom and I were pretty close. I guess we had similar personalities. She was carefree and indifferent toward a lot of things. I was the same way.

  When I was younger, my mom would read to me every night. She did the same with Skye, but she rea
d different books to each of us. I always got the fantasy stories about dragons, treasure, and brave men. My sister got fairytales and funny stories. Because of that, I was always fond of reading. I read more novels than anyone I knew. It was something I did every night when I went to bed, and it always made me think of my mother. I even tried writing a few stories but I never told a soul about it. The stories were horrendous and I would never show them to a living person with eyes.

  I glanced at Conrad, who was smiling and leaning toward his date. It was pretty clear he’d be spending the evening with her. So I had a choice to make. I could sit here alone and drink, or I could go home and drink in privacy. The decision wasn’t difficult.

  “Hey, Roland.”

  I stilled at the sound of my name. It was a voice I didn’t recognize. When I turned to look at my visitor, I immediately recognized her. It was a blonde woman with blue eyes. She used to date Cayson but I couldn’t recall her name. Jenny? Janice? Fuck, what was it? “Hey…how are you?”

  “Good.” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “How are you?” She wore dark jeans and heels. And she wore a black blouse that was fitted around her chest. It was loose around her flat stomach, and a gold necklace hung around her throat. On closer examination, I realized it was the necklace my uncle gave her at Christmas.

  “I’m good. You?” Shit, I already asked that. Not remembering her name was making me panic. Cayson dumped her like an old pair of sneakers and I wanted to be nice to her, but I was flustered because I couldn’t recall her stupid name. “I mean, you look nice…” That was an awkward thing to say.

  She gave me a bright smile. “Jasmine—that’s my name.”

  Damn, I made myself that obvious? “Sorry, I’ve always been bad with names.”

  “It’s okay.” She kept her shoulders back and held herself with grace. Her long legs were noticeable in her tight jeans. “I just wanted to say hi. I’d rather be friendly instead of being awkward and pretending I don’t see you…you know how it goes.”

  I liked her honesty. “I can’t count the number of times I’ve done that.” I added a small laugh.

  “Well, it was nice to see you.” She turned away.

  I felt like I should say something more. “Are you here with friends?”

  She turned back around. “Actually, I’m alone. I just wanted a drink.”

  She drinks alone? No other chick I knew did that. That was pretty sad. I held up my empty glass. “Me too.”

  “You aren’t here with Conrad?”

  I nodded toward the bar. “He’s in the process of getting laid.”

  She laughed. “I see…”

  Then it became awkward again. “Jasmine, for what it’s worth, I thought you were a really great catch. We all did. Well, except my sister. She didn’t like you very much…”

  Jasmine had the grace to laugh. “Thanks. I appreciate it.”

  “I just hope you don’t let this make you too miserable. Cayson is great and all but he’s a really lame loser.”

  She laughed again. “I know you don’t mean that, but I appreciate it anyway.”

  I nodded to the seat across from me. “Do you want to sit down?”

  She debated it for a moment. Then she sat down. “I have to admit, it’s a little weird that you’re Skye’s brother. I assumed you wouldn’t like me either.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I don’t care about my sister’s personal life. Well, I was pretty pissed off over what Zack did to her, but that’s totally different.”

  “Well, I’m glad you don’t hate me or peg me as the other woman.”

  “No one thinks that,” I said immediately. “We all felt terrible for you.”

  She nodded her head slowly. “The sympathy might be worse actually…”

  Maybe I shouldn’t have said that. “We just knew how much you cared about Cayson. It was bad timing.”

  “When a man is in love with another woman, the timing is never good.” She looked across the bar at nothing in particular.

  “Can I buy you a drink?”

  She turned back to me. “I appreciate you being nice to me, Roland, but it’s okay. You don’t have to try to make me feel better.”

  “No, I like you. I thought we could talk since we’re both here with nothing to do.”

  She eyed Conrad again. “Well, you can pick up a girl in here.”

  “You’re the prettiest one here,” I blurted. Whoops, I probably shouldn’t have said that.

  She gave me a smile. “Well…thanks.”

  “So, what are you having?”

  “Beer is fine.”

  “My kind of woman.” I winked at her then ordered two more beers. When I returned, she immediately took a long drink.

  “So…are you over him yet?”

  She shrugged. “I don’t think I’ll ever be over him. Just like Skye is the one to him, he’s the one to me.”

  Damn, that was intense. “We kinda suspected that…”

  “It’s pretty shitty,” she said with a laugh.

  “I’m not trying to be a dick but…you know they aren’t going to break up, right? Like, they’re going to make it.”

  She gave me a firm look. “Yes, I know. And I’m very happy for him. I just hope Skye never takes him for granted and understands just how lucky she is. Cayson is one of a kind. Believe me, I’ve looked.” She drank her beer again and averted her gaze.

  My sister pulled a few stupid stunts but I decided not to bring them up. The last thing I wanted to do was give Jasmine false hope. “To be frank, you’re really hot. You can have your pick of the crop.”

  Her cheeks blushed slightly. “There isn’t much to pick when the entire field is rotten.”

  “Hey, not all guys are jerks.”

  “I didn’t say they were. But none of them are perfect either.”

  “Cayson isn’t perfect,” I argued.

  “Really?” she challenged. “Name one flaw.”

  “That’s easy. He was in love with the same girl for five years and he never told her. Imagine how much time he would have saved if he just grew a pair and told her.”

  “It seemed like she didn’t notice him until I came into the picture.”

  “He still should have been more aggressive about it. There, he’s not perfect.”

  “Actually, he has a perfect balance.”

  “Well, I’m perfect.”

  She tried not to laugh. “A guy can never be perfect if he says he is. That automatically disqualifies you.”

  I shrugged. “I guess you have a point. But, I’m not bad.”

  “I don’t know you well enough to make a judgment.”

  “Well, get to know me.” Why did I just say that?

  She studied me for a moment. “Are you coming on to me, Roland?”

  “Depends…”

  “Because that’s kind of a messed up thing to do to Cayson.”

  I rubbed my chin. “It’s not like he loved you or anything. And no, I wasn’t hitting on you. But I admit I do find you attractive—very attractive.”

  She seemed to accept my statement. “You aren’t bad to look at either. You look a lot like your father.”

  “I get that a lot. I have my mother’s eyes but everything else is his.”

  “That’s cute. Because Skye looks just like your mom but has—”

  “My father’s eyes,” I finished for her. “We noticed that at a very young age.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest. “Like I said, you’re an adorable family.”

  I remembered that Jasmine didn’t have a family even though I didn’t know the specifics. “A lot of crazy stuff goes on behind the curtain, but yeah, I guess we’re pretty cute.”

  “I think so. I remember seeing your parents interact with both of you. It’s pretty obvious how much they love you.”

  Now I felt guilty that I had so much more than she did. “Cayson said you didn’t have a family…I’m sorry.”

  She shrugged. “It’s unfortunate but I try not to let
it bother me. Why get upset over something you can’t change?”

  “I couldn’t agree more.” I finished my beer and felt a little buzzed. I should probably cut myself off but I wanted another.

  Jasmine finished hers just as quickly. She could handle her liquor just as well as Trinity. It was impressive.

  “So…how’s bartending?”

  “I like it. It’s decent money.”

  “Are you still saving for beauty school?”

  “Cosmetology school,” she corrected. “And yes.”

  “Cool.”

  “And what are you doing?”

  “Honestly?” I shook my head. “I have no idea. My dad wants me to work for his company but I don’t know where my passion lies.”

  “Well, what do you like to do for fun?”

  I shrugged. “Drink.”

  She rolled her eyes. “What else?”

  “Get laid.”

  She rolled her eyes again. “Come on, Roland. I know there’s more in there.”

  I rubbed my chin. “I like to read.”

  She nodded. “Be a librarian.”

  I laughed at the absurdity of the idea. “No.”

  She smirked. “Why don’t you become a writer?”

  I considered it a few times. “I’m a better reader than writer.”

  “Well, have you actually tried?”

  “Yeah…I’m not very good.”

  “Says who?”

  “Well, I haven’t showed anyone.”

  “Then how do you know you suck?” she asked.

  “Because I have eyes,” I said with a laugh.

  She shook her head. “We’re always our worst critic. You should show someone you trust and whose opinion you value. Then let them decide.”

  The only person I would feel somewhat comfortable showing is my mother, but I wasn’t sure if that was a good idea. “I’ll think about it.”

  We ordered another round and somehow started talking about Slade.

  “When we first met, he flexed his bicep then asked if I liked tattoos.” She laughed then hit the table with her hand. “I couldn’t stop laughing because I knew he was being dead serious.”

  “I’m sure he was. That sounds just like him.”

  “I know he’s a bad boy but I think he’s really sweet.”

  I cocked an eyebrow. “Sweet? Are we talking about the same guy?”