Hearts Will Beat Read online

  Hearts Will Beat

  Book Forty-Two of The Forever and Ever Series

  E. L. Todd

  Chapter One

  Conrad

  “Wow.” Carrie surveyed the place with Sassy by her side. She examined the hardwood floor, the massive windows, and the modern style of my penthouse. Evening had fallen, and the lights from the skyscrapers flooded through the windows. “This place is…the nicest place I’ve ever seen. I thought stuff like this only existed in movies.”

  “My life is a movie.” Apollo looked up at me before he walked over to his dish bowl and had dinner. I poured another bowl so Sassy would have something to eat and the dogs wouldn’t fight over the food.

  Carrie nodded. “It really is.”

  “Can I get you something to drink?”

  “As long as it’s not dog food,” she said with a smile.

  I grabbed her a beer. “Dos Equis? I don’t have any wine or fancy stuff.”

  “I love beer.” She took it from my hand and took a long drink.

  “So, you want to watch the game?”

  “Sure.” She sat down on my leather couch. “Ooh…these are comfy.”

  “Pottery Barn.”

  “I’m going shopping tomorrow.”

  I sat beside her and turned on the game.

  She didn’t touch me or show affection. Actually, she never did. She kept her hands to herself.

  Our relationship was unusual. I found her very attractive but I hadn’t tried to make a move. She was the one who asked me out but she hadn’t lifted a finger either.

  “I think Kapernick is going to be an extraordinary quarterback.”

  “I don’t know…he hasn’t been that hot this season.”

  “He’s just nervous. I know he has it in him. During his first season the Niners made it to the championship.”

  “That was then. This is now.”

  She took a drink of her beer then set it down. “You’re being a little harsh.”

  “Am not,” I argued. “He’s in the professionals now. He needs to step it up and understand he’s going to get criticism. I get criticized on a daily basis and don’t make excuses for it.”

  “So you stir the pot?”

  “No.”

  She moved closer to me on the couch, her eyes no longer on the TV.

  Her proximity was alarming to me, perhaps because we’d never been close before. My heart rate spiked immediately, like I’d been waiting for this to happen.

  Her hand moved to my thigh, and she watched my face for a reaction.

  I turned to her and held her gaze, not showing fear like always. Her touch excited me, and my cock responded. I hadn’t had sex in a while. I’d laid off the one-night stands, and I was surprised my body was ready for physical intimacy again.

  She tilted her head to the side as she regarded me. “Is this okay?”

  “Yes.” I leaned closer to her, showing her just how okay it was.

  “I really like you,” she whispered. “I like you more than I expected to.”

  “I like you too, Carrie.” She was easygoing, fun, and she never put pressure on me. She was like a friend I’d always had but didn’t meet until now.

  She watched my lips before she moved in and pressed a kiss to my mouth.

  The moment we touched I felt the heat course through me. Her lips were soft and full, and my mouth naturally fit well with hers. We moved together, our breaths being exchanged in a heated embrace. Then she gave me a small amount of tongue, in a classy way, and that felt right too.

  The chemistry was there.

  She sucked my bottom lip before she pulled away. “You’re a good kisser.”

  “It takes one to know one.”

  She pressed a gentle kiss to my jawline. “I like your face. It’s hard, rugged, and manly.”

  “Thanks.” I’d never gotten a compliment like that before.

  “Conrad?”

  “Hmm?”

  “I want this to go somewhere.”

  That was a bold thing to say. I held my silence because I didn’t know how to respond.

  “But there’s something I’d like to say.”

  My eyes were on her.

  “I’ll never fall in love again. It’s just not possible. I don’t want you to ever hope that will change, that I’ll love you in a romantic way. All I can offer you is friendship and loyalty. Maybe one day I can feel something for you, a love that grows in time. But it’ll never be passionate or true. I want a partner I can share my life with because I want kids. I want two of them, a boy and a girl. I want to be a full-time mom and need a husband that can support me when that time comes. And when they’re old enough, I’ll go back to work. That’s what I want, Conrad. I don’t want to sugarcoat that for you.”

  To my surprise, I actually smiled. “That’s perfect for me.”

  “Yeah?” she asked. “You want kids?”

  “I would love to have kids. But I want three.”

  “That’s negotiable,” she said.

  “And I’ll never love you, Carrie. But I’m a good man and I can give you what you want. I will always respect you and treat you right. If this goes anywhere, I think we’ll get exactly what we want.”

  She cupped my face. “I’m so glad I asked you out.”

  I chuckled. “I’m glad you did too.”

  She moved into my lap and straddled my hips, pushing me back into the couch. Her hands moved to my chest and she gently grinded against my hard-on. “I haven’t been with anyone since him. I feel like I should tell you that.”

  My hands moved to her thighs. “Okay.”

  “But I really want it. I miss sex.”

  “It’s pretty great.” I stood up and pulled her with me. She was light like I expected her to be. Her arms immediately wrapped around my neck. My lips moved to her neck and I placed gentle kisses there as I entered my bedroom and kicked the door behind me so the dogs wouldn’t follow. When I reached the bed I laid her on it and stripped her clothes off. She arched her back as she allowed me to get her jeans off, and there was a mischievous smile on her face that turned me on. She pulled her shirt off on her own then dropped her bra.

  Her tits were small, but they were round and perky.

  I pulled my shirt off then got rid of my jeans. Then I grasped her thong and pulled it off. The area between her legs was smooth and free of hair. It made my cock throb. I grabbed my boxers and pulled them off, letting my cock come out.

  Her eyes immediately went to my dick, and she took an involuntary breath. She even licked her lips.

  My cock twitched in response. I moved on top of her and separated her thighs with mine. She was enthused, and she immediately grabbed me everywhere. Her nails dug into my skin and she scratched my back in excitement. Her kisses turned passionate, and soon her fingers were deep in my hair.

  My fingers found the area between her legs, and I wasn’t surprised to feel the pool of moisture there. She was already turned on and I hardly did anything.

  “Your body is so nice,” she said into my mouth.

  “You’re beautiful too.”

  She wrapped her legs around my waist and squeezed.

  I knew she wanted to skip the foreplay because she was so hard up. If I hadn’t had sex in two years I would feel the same way. I grabbed a condom from my drawer and rolled it on.

  She dug her nails down my chest and released a moan even though we hadn’t even gotten started.

  Her excitement turned me on more. I positioned myself over her then inserted myself past her lips. She was tight but her wetness made the insertion smooth.

  “Oh my god…” She rolled her head back and panted.

  I kept going until I was completely sheathed.

  “Conrad.” She dug her nails harder in
to my back. “You feel amazing…”

  I pinned her legs back and thrust inside her slowly, knowing I didn’t need to do much else to make her come.

  She cupped my face and kissed me, moaning at the same time. She rocked back into me, wanting my entire length every time I moved inside her. One hand moved to my ass and she pulled me into her, like I wasn’t going fast enough for her.

  I gave her what she wanted and thrust harder.

  Her head rolled back and her hair scattered everywhere. “Just like that…”

  Lexie and Beatrice were the only women I gave a damn about pleasing. With Lexie, it was all I ever cared about. I wanted to make her feel as good as she made me feel. But now I felt that way for Carrie, because I cared about her and her return to sex had to be good.

  “Conrad, I’m about to come.”

  She didn’t need to tell me that. I could tell. I leaned further over her so my pelvic bone rubbed against her clitoris. Like I expected, that drove her crazy. She constricted around my shaft and more moisture moved around my dick. She started to yell, something incoherent. “Yes…yes…”

  I thrust into her as hard as I could and made the orgasm last as long as possible. Seeing her face light up in joy turned me on more. She was like a virgin that waited far too long to get laid.

  When the orgasm passed, she glided down and breathed deeply. “Oh my fucking god, that was so good.”

  “Want another?”

  “What?” she asked, like that was unbelievable.

  “Do you want me to make you come again?”

  “Can you do that?”

  I tried not to laugh. “Yes, I can.” I pressed my mouth to hers and kissed her slowly, winding everything down. Our tongues danced together and I touched all her erogenous zones. My large hand felt each of her breasts, squeezing them and brushing my thumb across the nipple. Then my hand moved to her clitoris and I rubbed it aggressively, kissing her at the same time. When she was back to full speed, I pulled my hand away and continued to move into her hard, giving her long and even strokes.

  As if on cue, she tightened around me all over again. This time she screamed louder and her nails felt like knives against my back. “Conrad Preston, I love you.” Her head rolled back as she rode out the high. “Oh my god…”

  The pleasure was written all over her face, and I couldn’t control myself any longer. She was fun in the sack, and my dick was happy even though I was wearing a condom. I released with a loud grunt and felt my semen fill the tip of the condom. I closed my eyes and felt my hips flex as I depleted my seed.

  When we were finished, we both breathed hard, covered in sweat.

  Carrie squeezed my hips with her legs then wrapped her arms around my neck. She pulled me close to her, like she didn’t want to let me go. “You’re an amazing man, Conrad.”

  I kissed the corner of her mouth. “I know a lot about fucking.”

  “Fuck me like that every night.”

  I smiled as I looked into her face. “Consider it a promise.”

  ***

  I made breakfast the next morning and watched the football game on TV. I only wore my sweatpants because I didn’t want to wake up Carrie while looking for a shirt. The dogs sat on the ground facing the kitchen, smelling everything I made.

  I made pancakes, eggs, and bacon. I wasn’t an amazing cook but I knew a few things…because of Lexie. I tried not to think about her but she kept popping up one way or another. Why wouldn’t she just leave my mind and never come back? After what she did to me she didn’t deserve my thoughts.

  I grabbed a strip of bacon and took a big bite. It was crunchy and crispy. Lexie taught me how to make bacon in the oven. I didn’t have to worry about splashing bacon grease on my skin, so it was a godsend.

  Both of the dogs watched me while I ate.

  I finally broke a strip in two pieces and threw it at them.

  They devoured it instantly.

  Carrie came down the hall then appeared in one of my t-shirts. It reached her knees, and her hair was messy from rolling around the night before. She wiped the sleep from her eyes and released a deep sigh. “Morning…”

  “Morning.” I smiled because she looked cute in my clothes.

  “What smells so damn good?”

  “It’s either me or breakfast. But I’m going to go with me.”

  She walked into the kitchen and patted the dogs on the head. Then she moved into my chest and pressed a kiss there. “Good sex and breakfast? I’m starting to think I’m dreaming all of this.”

  “Then don’t wake up.”

  She grabbed a slice of bacon and shoved it into her mouth. “Mmm…this is good.”

  “I can do more than fuck.”

  “You sure can.”

  I finished cooking then set everything on the coffee table in the living room. I usually ate in the dining room but since the game was on I didn’t want to miss anything.

  Carrie sat beside me and sipped her coffee. She didn’t make a comment about eating in front of the TV. Lexie always preferred to sit at the table, talking to each other without any distractions. Carrie didn’t seem to care either way. She watched the game while she ate. “This is really good, Conrad. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  She finished her plate. “Can I stay? Or do you have plans?”

  “You can stay as long as you want.”

  “Are you just saying that?” she said.

  I tried not to laugh. “If I wanted you out I would tell you. Trust me on that.”

  “Okay.” She took my word for it. “So, what are your plans for the day?”

  “It’s Sunday,” I answered. “Football.”

  “Football all day?” she asked. “Sounds like a good plan.” She grabbed the blanket over the back of the couch and got comfortable.

  I liked having her there. Carrie and I had a natural connection. She was like one of the guys but with a vagina. While I liked everything about her, I didn’t feel that instant love I felt with Lexie and I knew I never would. But I was really comfortable with what we had. I couldn’t ask for something better. It was an improvement to Georgia and all the other skanks I messed around with. At least this relationship had some meaning, and we respected each other.

  The game ended and there was a talk show before the next one started.

  “Conrad?”

  “Hmm?” I leaned back into the couch and looked at her.

  “How do you stay in such great shape?”

  I smiled because I was flattered. “I work out every day.”

  “What do you do?”

  “Boxing for cardio and weight lifting.”

  “It really shows.”

  “Thanks,” I said. “But I don’t work out on Sunday. It’s just wrong.”

  “I don’t work out on the weekends—period.”

  I pulled her closer to me and rested my arm over the back of the couch. Our dogs sat in front of the TV like they were watching it.

  “Can I ask you something else?”

  “You can ask me anything.”

  “Do you still love her? Is that why you’ll never love me?”

  I didn’t know the answer to that. The wounds Lexie inflicted were all over my body, and I had a feeling those scars would be permanent. “I don’t know…”

  Carrie watched me.

  “She really hurt me and I’m still hurting. It’s been three months and I still feel like shit. Sometimes I hate her. Sometimes I wish I could confront her and tell her to go fuck herself. And other times I wish she would show up on my doorstep and beg me to forgive her.”

  “Then your answer is yes.”

  I shrugged.

  “When you get over her, do you think you’ll be able to love again?”

  “No.” There wasn’t a doubt in my mind. “I’ve had my heart broken before, and now this time is even worse. I’m sick of putting everything I have into relationships. They always blow up in my face, and the girls always walk all over me. It’s not that I don’
t want to do it again, I just simply can’t. There’s no heart left in me anymore. It’s all gone…”

  She ran her hand up and down my chest. “I’m sorry.”

  “I am too,” I whispered. “My friends are settling down and they seem really happy. Sure, they fight sometimes but they never go their separate ways. I thought Lexie and I were forever but I couldn’t be more wrong. I’m just not meant to love like that.”

  She pressed a gentle kiss to my shoulder. “I know things are hard now but they’ll get better.”

  “When did things start getting better for you?”

  “Better?” she asked. “I’ve never been better. The second Scott was gone I changed forever. I smile and make jokes but…I’m miserable on the inside. To lose the one person you love more than anyone is…there are no words. I’ll never be normal. I’ll never be sane. The loneliness is what got to me. I don’t want to be alone forever. I tried online dating and searched for widowers but they were all so old. And then I asked you out because you were so handsome and sweet…I didn’t expect it to go anywhere. But when you told me about your issues, I felt a surge of hope. Maybe we’re the perfect cogs in each other’s wheels. We may not be able to have a passionate love, the kind that makes you feel alive, but maybe we can have something else. Maybe we can have a different type of love.”

  “Maybe…”

  She felt the stubble on my chin with her fingertips. “And my parents would get off my back.”

  I chuckled at her words. “Mine too. They were really worried about me.”

  “And I make them less worried?”

  I nodded. “I can tell they like you.”

  “They hardly know me.”

  “But you aren’t a skank like the others…”

  “I’m definitely not. Well, I kinda was last night…”

  I chuckled. “It was sexy. I loved the fact you were so into it. I felt like I was having sex with a virgin.”

  “You kind of were. It’s been so long.”

  I pressed a kiss to her neck. “So, you want to be my girlfriend?”

  She grinned from ear-to-ear. “Is this eighth grade?”

  “I want to know if this is exclusive or not.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “It better be, Conrad.”

  “Jealous? Really?”