Love Lives On Read online

  Love Lives On

  Book Twenty-Four of the Forever and Ever Series

  E. L. Todd

  This is a work of fiction. All the characters and events portrayed in this novel are fictitious or used fictitiously. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the publisher or author, except in the case of a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review.

  Love Lives On

  E. L. Todd

  Copyright E. L. Todd 2015

  Smashwords Edition

  CHAPTER ONE

  Lexie

  I ushered my clients out of my office then shut the door. The session we had wasn’t particularly groundbreaking but we made progress. If two people wanted to make their relationship work, it was my job to make it happen—whether I agreed with it or not.

  I sat down at my desk and checked my phone, what I always did when I had free time. When I looked at the screen, I hoped I would see Conrad’s name. He would send me random thoughts throughout the day, usually trying to entice me to see him. I had a message from him now so I opened it.

  My desk still needs to be broken in.

  I rolled my eyes but smiled at the same time. Actually, I grinned from ear-to-ear. My desk needs to be defiled too.

  He texted back immediately, as if he already wrote the message before I even responded. I can help with that.

  I shook my head and put the phone down, knowing I needed to get back to work and forget about Conrad. He was just a distraction anyway.

  My secretary came to the door and peered inside. “Lexie, there’s a man here to see you.”

  I pushed Conrad from my thoughts. “Is he a client?”

  “No. But he says he knows you.”

  “And his name?”

  “He wouldn’t tell me.”

  That was weird… “Send him away.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” She turned to walk out but a man stepped inside, pushed her out of the way, and then shut the door and locked it.

  With lightning speed, I grabbed my bat from under the desk and stood up in a defensive stance, ready to smash his skull to bits and pieces. But when I focused my gaze I realized it was a man I recognized.

  My ex-husband.

  I gripped the bat tighter. “Do you have a death wish?”

  He halted and raised one hand. “I’m not here to hurt you…not sure why you would think that.” He wore jeans and a black t-shirt. His hard body was outlined in the clothes. I remembered the way it used to feel when it was on top of me. No matter how much I hated him, I couldn’t deny he was a big piece of eye-candy. No wonder why he was cheating on me all the time.

  “Maybe because you barged into my office and locked the door.” I rubbed my palms against the wood of the bat, making sure the grip was tight.

  “I just knew you wouldn’t see me otherwise.” He lowered his hands slowly.

  “And what made you think that?” My voice was full of venom.

  He slowly approached my desk. “I would have called but I knew you wouldn’t have answered.”

  “Good guess.” When I looked at him I realized his hair was untidy and he had bags under his eyes.

  “I came here for a reason. And if you put the bat down I’ll tell you what that reason is.”

  I continued to hold it. “I’m good.”

  He released a sigh and his body relaxed, but not in comfort. It seemed to be falling in sadness. “My mom is in the hospital. She had a heart attack. I thought you would want to know…”

  I dropped the bat on the ground. “Oh my god, is she going to be okay?” His mom was a sweet woman. One of the hardest things about leaving Jared was leaving his family. They were wonderful people.

  He shrugged. “I’m not sure. She’s in surgery. There’s a major blockage in an artery.” He ran his fingers through his hair nervously. “I know it would make her happy to see you when she wakes up…if she wakes up.” His eyes became lidded with depression.

  I forgot my hatred of him, for just a little bit. I grabbed my purse, keys, and phone then headed out of the office. “Let’s go.”

  Jared followed me.

  “Nancy, I have an emergency. Cancel everything for the rest of the day.” I walked past her desk.

  “You got it, Lexie,” Nancy called after me. “I hope everything is okay.”

  I stopped when we reached the elevator. “What hospital?”

  “New York Medical Center.”

  ***

  Jared’s family was in the waiting room. His dad leaned over his chair with his arms resting on his thighs. He looked like hell. His brother sat next to him, staring blankly at the ground beneath his feet.

  “Have you heard anything?” Jared asked when he reached his dad.

  “No, not yet.” His dad reacted slightly when he saw me. “Lexie, you came...” He stood up then hugged me tightly. “It’s wonderful to see you.”

  “I wish it were under better circumstances. I’m so sorry for everything.”

  “She’ll be okay,” he said. “I have to believe that or I won’t go on.” He pulled away then released a deep sigh. “But it is nice to see your beautiful face.”

  His parents were always so sweet to me. Even now, they still treated me like family.

  Jared watched us intently.

  Then I moved to his brother. “I’m sorry, James.”

  “It’s okay.” He stood up and hugged me. “Mom has been stressed out a lot lately, probably because I’ve been driving her up the wall.” It was like him to make a joke at a difficult time.

  “I believe that,” I said, playing along.

  Jared and I took a seat and waited alongside them.

  Every time a nurse or doctor passed, all four of us would stare at them and hope they had news for us. But they kept walking.

  Jared rested his arm on the armrest then placed his fingers against his lips, what he did when he was stressed or nervous. I still remembered his mannerisms, the little things he used to do. Two years had passed since our divorce but I remembered our marriage like it was yesterday.

  Biggest mistake of my life.

  “Thanks for coming,” Jared whispered so his family couldn’t hear. “I wasn’t sure if you would…”

  “I’m here for your mom, not you. Let’s get that straight.”

  His fingers continued to rest against his lips. “How’s everything going with you?”

  I wanted to tell him to shut his pie hole but I knew I needed to cut him some slack. His mom might die. I wasn’t a cold person. “Well. I’ve been busy with work.”

  “Your office is nice.”

  “I redecorated it.”

  “Well, it’s impressive.”

  Awkward silence stretched between us.

  “How are things with you?” I asked even though I didn’t want to know the answer.

  “I’ve been better,” he said.

  Was he referring to his mom’s condition?

  “I’ve been feeling lost lately…” He didn’t elaborate.

  And I didn’t ask.

  I turned to his father. “Can I get you something? Some coffee?”

  “No, thank you,” he said. “If I have any caffeine I’ll have a heart attack too.”

  We went back to being silent.

  My phone vibrated with a text message. It was from Conrad. Want to see a movie later? A new superhero movie just came out.

  I quickly typed a message. Something came up. I can’t talk now. Will speak to you later.

  He wrote back immediately. Okay. Let me know if you need anything.

  I put my phone away.

  “Is Conrad your new boyfriend?” Jared asked.

  It
irritated me that he read the message. “It’s none of your business if he is.”

  “Is he?” he pressed.

  My anger started to rise. “I know your mom is in the hospital, but I will kick you in the dick if you piss me off.”

  He looked away and dropped the subject.

  Finally, the doctor came out.

  Jared’s dad practically sprinted to him. “Is she okay?” he blurted.

  He nodded. “The surgery went well. We were able to clear the artery. She’ll be in her room shortly.”

  His dad visibly relaxed. “That’s wonderful. Thank you.”

  “Of course.” The doctor walked away.

  Jared released a deep sigh. “Oh, thank god.”

  James smiled for the first time. “Mom is a fighter.”

  I couldn’t deny how relieved I was. “I’m glad Mom is okay.” I realized my error but it was too late. I used to call her that when Jared and I were married. Old habits died hard.

  Jared caught the mess up but didn’t say anything. He just stared at me.

  ***

  We sat at her bedside for hours while we waited for her to wake up. His dad stood the entire time, needing to be on his feet. James sat in the chair in the corner, his arms across his chest. I sat beside Jared and crossed my legs.

  Jared turned to me. “What kind of name is Conrad anyway?”

  I turned to him with dark eyes. “A sexy one.”

  “It’s an old man’s name.”

  “And even when he’s old, he’ll be sexy.” I’d slapped Jared more times than I could count. And I wanted to slap him again. “How are all your bimbos doing? Slept with every girl in Manhattan yet?”

  He pressed his lips tightly together.

  “How many girlfriends do you have?” I hissed. “Three? Four?”

  He continued to hold his tongue.

  “Drop Conrad and I’ll drop this.” I turned away and looked at his mother, who was sleeping peacefully on the bed.

  Jared stayed quiet.

  I wanted to pull out my phone and text Conrad but I thought that wasn’t smart around Jared. He kept sticking his nose where it didn’t belong.

  “Published any new papers?” he asked.

  “A few.”

  “I read the one in the Harvard Journal. It was impressive.”

  He read it? He never read my research. “Why did you read it?”

  He shrugged. “Just curious, I guess.”

  I kept my gaze diverted from him.

  “I’m proud of you for all you’ve accomplished.”

  What the fuck was going on? “You’re proud of me?”

  “Yeah,” he said quietly. “You’re so smart. You’ve always been smart.”

  Why was he being so nice to me? “How’s your bar doing?” He owned a bar in Manhattan. It’s where he found all his girls. He took them upstairs to his office then fucked them on the little cot he had. Every time he told me he was working late, that’s what he was actually doing. It still pissed me off, even two years later.

  “No complaints,” he said. “Booze will never go out of business.”

  I wish his mom would wake up so we could stop making small talk.

  “What does Conrad do?”

  Why did he keep bringing him up? “None of your business.”

  “Why won’t you just tell me?”

  “Why don’t you just let it go?”

  “Because.” That was all he said. It wasn’t a reason at all.

  I wanted to make him feel like shit so he would leave me alone. “He’s the CEO of PIXEL software.” There, that should shut him up.

  He looked away like he was irritated. “So, he’s a rich boy. Never knew you cared about money.”

  “I don’t,” I said. “But he’s a strong and powerful man. I care about that.”

  “I’m strong and powerful.” He turned back to me.

  “When a man cheats on his wife and hurts her, that doesn’t make him strong,” I hissed. “That makes him pathetic.”

  He took the hit and didn’t react.

  When the hell would she wake up?

  “I’m not seeing anybody.” It was a random thing for him to say.

  Was I supposed to care? I didn’t respond.

  “I haven’t been seeing anyone for a while, actually.”

  Still didn’t give a damn. “How about we just sit here quietly?”

  He turned away and stared at the opposite wall.

  I took his silence as an agreement.

  ***

  I moved into the hallway so I had some privacy to make my phone call.

  “Hey, baby,” Conrad said when he answered on the first ring. “Everything okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine. My—” For some reason, I didn’t want him to know I was with my ex-husband. It felt awkward and I couldn’t explain why. “Friend had a heart attack and I’m at the hospital.”

  “I’m so sorry,” he said. “Will she be okay?”

  “Yeah, I think so. She’s been out of surgery for a while. I’m just waiting for her to wake up.”

  “Is there anything I can do?” he asked. “I can come down there and wait with you.”

  That sounded wonderful. Having Conrad’s arms around me was exactly what I wanted—all the time. But that would be awkward with Jared’s family. “No, it’s okay. I’ll be fine.”

  “Well, let me know if you change your mind.”

  “I will.” Just talking to him made me feel better. I wasn’t so upset.

  “If you have time, I would love it if you stopped by,” he said. “I miss you.”

  He said the sweetest things to me. And they made my heart burn because I knew he meant them. He had no reason to lie. He already had me and he didn’t need to do any work to keep me there. “I miss you too.”

  “Just text me if you come over. I’ll be home.”

  “Okay. I’ll see if I can make it.”

  “Okay. I hope I’ll see you later.”

  “Bye.”

  “Bye, baby.” He waited for me to hang up first, like usual.

  I ended the call, depressed when I could no longer hear his voice.

  “So, he is your boyfriend.” Jared’s voice came from directly behind me.

  I turned around and felt my arms shake in anger. “Eavesdropping? That’s an all time low for you.”

  “I was going to get some water when I heard you on the phone.”

  “And you decided to stop and listen?”

  “I was going to ask if you wanted anything.”

  I wish I still had my bat. “You’re still the same liar you used to be. How sad.”

  “I’m not a liar,” he argued. “Anymore.”

  “Sell this bullshit to someone else,” I said. “I’m sure there’s a girl in the waiting room depressed over a lost loved one. Go masturbate with her vagina.”

  His eyes narrowed to slits. “My mom almost died—”

  “Then get in there and shut up,” I snapped. “Don’t harass me about who I’m seeing.”

  “I was just curious.”

  “Well, don’t be. I don’t care where you’re putting your dick these days.”

  “I haven’t been putting it anywhere.”

  I rolled my eyes dramatically. “You keep talking to me like I give a damn, Jared. I don’t.”

  “Well, I do.”

  I was sick of him. I walked away.

  He grabbed my arm and yanked me back to him. “You love this guy?”

  I had to fight the urge to spit on his face. “What gives you the right to ask me that?”

  “Being married to you.”

  I twisted out of his grasp. “And now we’re divorced. Who I fuck and love is none of your concern.”

  “So, you do love him?”

  I would never tell him about my new ideology about love. I would never admit how much he hurt me. My tubes were tied because of the way he broke my entire body. No way in hell would I ever tell him that. Without answering his question, I walked around him and ente
red his mother’s room, knowing this conversation wouldn’t continue in front of his dad and brother.

  ***

  When his mom woke up, she kissed and hugged her family with joy in her eyes. It was like the sun had never shined before. She savored her moments of life with enthusiasm. She kissed her husband and her children. Then she spotted me. “Oh, my daughter.” She extended her arms to hug me.

  I moved into her embrace and returned the affection.

  “It’s so nice to see your face, honey. So beautiful, like always.”

  “Thanks, Karen. I’m glad you’re okay.”

  She hugged me longer than her two sons. “What a wonderful surprise.”

  “Jared came to my office,” I said. “He knew I wanted to be here.”

  “I’m glad he told you,” she said. “Jared is such a sweet boy.”

  If you say so. “Feeling better?”

  “I feel amazing,” she said. “Just seeing my family makes me feel alive.” She stared fondly at all of them. Then she released me.

  “Need anything, Mom?” Jared stood next to me, his shoulder touching mine.

  “No,” she said. “Having you here is enough.”

  ***

  The guys went to eat in the cafeteria and I stayed behind to keep an eye on Karen.

  “How are you, dear?” she asked.

  “Good,” I said. “Just been working.”

  “Jared said you published another paper.”

  He still talked about me?

  “He’s very proud of you—we all are.”

  “Thanks, Karen.” She was the sweetest woman ever.

  “Jared hasn’t brought anyone over.” She looked at me as she said it.

  Did she mean he hadn’t brought any girls home? That wasn’t surprising. He was definitely a hit it and quit it kind of guy. “He’ll find someone eventually.” I didn’t know what else to say. His family didn’t know why we divorced. We just said it didn’t work out. I hated Jared but I didn’t want his parents to look at him with disappointment. It was the only mercy I granted him.

  “He still loves you.”

  When I came down to see her, I didn’t expect to talk about Jared. I expected to talk about her. And I never imagined she would say those words. “We’ll always care about each other. It didn’t work out but that doesn’t mean we don’t hold each other in high regard.” It was something a politician would say.