The Lover Read online

  The Lover

  Doctor #3

  E. L. Todd

  Hartwick Publishing

  The Lover

  Copyright © 2019 by E. L. Todd

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  1

  Pepper

  I fell asleep on the couch, leaving my soaking clothes on the bathroom floor. I never made it to the bedroom because I opened a bottle of wine and drank my sorrows away. It was the only way I could stop thinking about Finn and Layla and fall asleep.

  A knock sounded at the door. “It’s me.” Colton’s distinct voice made it through the wood.

  I pulled my hair out of my face and glanced at my appearance in the mirror by the door.

  I looked terrible.

  There wasn’t enough time to fix myself, and since Colton had already seen me at my worse last night, I opened the door. “Hey…” Everything came flooding back to me, the rain, the tears, and the truth. In a moment of catharsis, I’d told Colton the truth…a truth that I didn’t even realize until that moment.

  That I loved Finn.

  “Hey.” He let himself in and shut the door. “Sleep alright?”

  “Other than the kink in my neck and the belly full of wine, yeah.”

  “Good.” He looked at me with those compassionate blue eyes, as if he loved me just as much as he had before. It seemed ridiculous in hindsight to think he would have had a problem with me seeing Finn since he was so calm and accepting about it now.

  I felt like I should apologize. “I’m sorry about everything. It was wrong and it shouldn’t have happened, but it just…kept happening. We agreed we should only be friends, but somehow… I don’t know.”

  He bowed his head and slid his hands into his pockets.

  “Finn had said he was going to talk to you about it, but he changed his mind.”

  He lifted his gaze and met my eyes once more. He rubbed the back of his neck before he released a quiet sigh. “He did talk to me, actually.”

  “Ooh…” That wasn’t the story Finn had told me.

  “He asked my permission to ask you out. He said he really liked you and wanted to see if it would go somewhere. I told him no.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest, my breath coming out shaky.

  Colton shrugged. “It made me really uncomfortable. You’re the one woman who’s off-limits, but he went after you anyway. It’s not like you’re my ex-girlfriend or something. You were my wife, and you’re still my best friend. I was pissed he would even think about making a move. He argued that it shouldn’t matter because I’m gay, but that pissed me off more because it’s irrelevant if I’m gay or straight. I told him when a relationship between you two ended, it would affect my relationship with both of you. Neither of you would be able to be in the same room together, and that’d affect my life drastically. He tried to change my mind, but it was no use. My answer was final.”

  So, our prediction was right. Colton would never be okay with this.

  “But after seeing you last night…I’ve changed my mind.”

  I knew this was hard for Colton, but he loved me too much to stand in the way.

  “I just wanted you to know he ended things with you because of me…not because he wanted to.”

  “And he didn’t want me to know that was your answer…because he didn’t want to affect our friendship.”

  He shrugged.

  “He’s a good guy, Colton. I know you’re probably upset with him right now, but he’s still loyal to you.”

  Colton wouldn’t look at me.

  “There’s something I’ve never told you…”

  His eyes flicked back to me.

  “The reason Jax and I broke up was because he didn’t like our relationship. He told me I had to choose—you or him. When I chose you, he dumped me.”

  His eyes slowly fell, filling with a mixture of guilt and sadness.

  “I told Finn not to tell you. He could have used that in his argument, but he never did. I know you feel betrayed by him right now, but he’s still one of the best guys I know. I hope you can cut him some slack.”

  Colton’s silence was a sufficient answer. “If you want to be with him, I won’t stand in the way. But as your best friend, I feel like I should warn you. Finn is a good man—there’s no argument against that. But he’s got a lot of issues. Even before he went into the military, he was the way he is now. He’s not the commitment type.”

  In the limited time I’d known Finn, I’d seen the way he was with women. He was heartless and unattached. His life was a series of one-night stands, of women whose names he would never remember.

  “He doesn’t stay in one place very long. He’s been in Seattle for a few months, but I can’t see his residence being permanent.”

  “He bought a house.”

  “And he can sell that house. It’s a good piece of real estate. He’ll easily get what he paid for it. He was in the military for so long because he likes moving around. He’s never been the kind of guy to be stationary. I’m not sure why he’s like that, but he is.”

  “I’m sure all of that is true, Colton. But he’s different with me…” I felt naïve saying that out loud, like a stupid girl who believed a man would really change for her. But I believed it nonetheless.

  “I never said he wasn’t. But that won’t last long. I hope I’m wrong, Pepper. But I really don’t think I am…”

  If I weren’t already in love with Finn, logic would tell me to turn away and run. But I was so deep in this relationship, I had nothing more to lose. I was already betting everything.

  “He said he never wants to get married or have a family. I doubt he’s changed his mind about that. I doubt he’ll ever change his mind about that.”

  I’d already had my heart broken once, and I didn’t want to go through it again. But the idea of walking away sounded too painful. “When we got married, I thought we wanted the same things. I thought we would be together forever and have a family…”

  He sighed guiltily.

  “You know how that turned out, Colton. You were the safest bet in the world…and that fell apart. I understand how Finn is. I understand he’s a risky choice. But I’m already in so deep, I lose whether I stay or leave.”

  “It’ll hurt a lot more in the end if you stay.”

  Maybe he was right, but I wanted to deal with that later.

  When Colton realized I wouldn’t change my mind, he gave up. “I had to warn you to ease my conscience…but I support whatever you want to do.”

  “You’re sure you’re okay with this?” I whispered.

  He stared at me for a long time. “I love you, Pepper. I want you to have whatever you want. If Finn is what you want, then have him.”

  “I’m surprised you aren’t angry with me…”

  He shrugged. “After what I did to you, I should cut you some slack.”

  “I’ve forgiven you, Colton. Stop beating yourself up over it.”

  “Thanks…but I don’t think I can.”

  I moved into his chest and hugged him. “I love you.”

  He squeezed me back. “I love you too, Pepper.” He kissed my forehead.

  “You know your brother loves you too, right?”

  He remained silent as he hugged me, his chest rising and falling at a slow pace. When an answer didn’t arrive, I knew it wasn’t coming.

  It would never come.

  I arrived at Finn’s doorstep, my heart in my throat with a tremor in my fingers. Now that Colton was on board, there was nothing standing in our way. We could be what Finn wanted to be w
ithout repercussions.

  I tried not to think about what had happened with Layla last night. If he did sleep with her, I couldn’t be angry about it because we’d broken up. Colton had said he would never be okay with our relationship, so Finn drowned himself in an easy lay. It broke my heart, but it wouldn’t stop me from being with him, from having what we were supposed to have.

  Finn opened the door, his blue eyes reflecting the sunlight that pierced through the clouds for just a moment. In just his sweatpants, he looked like the man of my dreams. He pushed the door farther open as he stared me down, the longing deep in his gaze.

  Soldier sat at his side, looking at me with his tongue slightly hanging out.

  I kept my eyes on the man in front of me, the person my heart screamed for. Being heartbroken over him was somehow worse than the night Colton had told me he didn’t want to be with me anymore. My relationship with Finn seemed to make more sense than mine ever did with Colton. Now that I’d been with the right man, I could see that clearly. “Colton told me the truth.”

  With one hand on the door, he kept looking at me.

  “That you only broke up with me because he said we couldn’t be together.”

  His shoulders lowered slightly.

  I kept staring at him, unsure what else to do. This didn’t happen the way I wanted, but now that all the obstacles were out of the way, we could finally be together. Was that what he still wanted? Or was it more exciting when we were sneaking around?

  He dropped his hand from the door. “Get your ass in here.”

  My lips softened into a smile, and I moved into his chest, reconnecting with that powerful physique I’d missed sleeping with every night. My cheek felt the warmth, and I wrapped my arms around his waist and closed my eyes, relishing the smell of his body soap.

  He shut the door then wrapped his powerful arms around me. His soft lips brushed against my hairline, and then he kissed my forehead. He hugged me a little tighter and released a quiet sigh, one full of contentment and peace.

  I felt at home. This was the place where I belonged, the only place that made sense. I felt terrible for lying to Colton, but the guilt didn’t outweigh the happiness. Maybe we had no future, but right now, this was all I wanted.

  He pulled away so he could look into my face. “I missed you.”

  A man like Finn didn’t say sweet things like that often, if ever. He was honest to a fault, so he meant every single syllable of that phrase. It melted my entire body until I was a puddle on the floor. “I missed you too…”

  His hand cupped my cheek, and he rested his forehead against mine. He closed his eyes and stood there with me, as if my presence soothed his soul. He didn’t crush his mouth to mine and whisk me off to the bedroom right away. He missed me as the person who made his heart beat, who brought peace to his damaged soul.

  There was no better feeling than being pressed into a mattress by a heavy man. His muscular body was so hard against mine. His powerful thighs brushed against the softness of my legs as he thrust inside me. His rock-hard chest rubbed my nipples as he moved up and down.

  My ankles locked together around his waist, and I clawed at his back, moaning because this man drove me crazy. Every inch inside me made me feel like a woman, made me feel like the most desirable woman on the planet.

  His hand dug into my hair and turned it into a mess as his eyes locked on mine. Sometimes, he kissed me, and sometimes, he just breathed with me, enjoying the perfect way our bodies fit together.

  Finn ruined me for all other men. If I ever found someone else, I would always compare the sex to this…because it was so damn good. He wasn’t just sexy and good in the sack. He was passionate and shared a deep connection with me.

  He’d already made me come the second he was inside me. It didn’t take much work on his part after the week of solitude and sadness. He seemed to be holding on by a thread the entire time, his dick so thick inside me with imminent explosion. He wanted this to be one of those sessions that went on forever.

  But we had all the time in the world to have those kinds of nights. “Let go.” I grabbed his ass and pulled him deep inside me, wanting to catch every drop of that come. I missed how heavy it felt, how warm it was as it dripped from my opening and down my thighs.

  He grunted as his hips bucked automatically, shuddering noticeably as he finished. “Baby…” With his length buried deep inside me, he gave me everything he had, an entire load of arousal and affection.

  My thighs squeezed him harder because the face he made while climaxing was something I could touch myself to. My fingers slid through his hair, and I released a satisfied breath, happy to be back in bed with the man I adored.

  He gave me a soft kiss before he pulled out of me, his come immediately flowing to my entrance. He lay beside me, his naked body outstretched on the bed as he caught his breath. A sheen of sweat reflected the light coming through the blinds of the bedroom window. Head to toe, he was the perfect man, strong, lean, and covered in ink.

  I turned into his side and wrapped my arm around his waist, feeling at peace with the world. All the heartache I felt last week disappeared like a bad dream. My breathing matched his pace, and I tucked my leg between his thighs, cuddling with him just the way I used to. It was so peaceful; I almost fell asleep a few times.

  When Soldier realized we were resting, he jumped on the bed and curled up on the edge.

  “He never leaves your side, huh?”

  “Only when I kick him out of the bathroom.”

  I chuckled. “Does he whine when you leave?”

  “No. He knows better than that.”

  “But what about when you come home?”

  He smiled as he thought about it. “He does this thing where he spins around in a circle really fast, like he’s chasing his tail. Then he pounces on me and paws at my chest. Sometimes, he barks a little.”

  “Because he’s so happy to see you.”

  “Yeah…he’s a cool dog. I stayed home all week, and he stayed by my side…” His smile diminished when he reflected on the week we’d stopped seeing each other. “He seemed to know something was wrong.”

  “Dogs can sense things.”

  “He’s a good comrade. And he’s a good jogging buddy.”

  “You jog?”

  He nodded. “Around the neighborhood.”

  “That’s pretty cute.”

  “Me or Soldier?”

  “Both,” I said. “But mainly Soldier.”

  He smiled slightly, understanding I was joking. “Colton told me you don’t like to jog.”

  “No. Exercise in any form, really.”

  “Why is that?”

  I shrugged. “I’m pretty lazy, I guess. I’m on my feet all day at work, and then I walk home. The idea of going to the gym after that sounds terrible.” I studied his face. “You’d better not be judging me for that.”

  “I’m not.”

  “Then why are you staring at me?”

  “I guess I wonder how you got such a nice ass if you never work out.”

  I rolled my eyes. “My ass is not that nice…”

  “I disagree. I’m the one who gets to stare at it while I fuck you from behind.”

  I slapped his wrist playfully. “Crass, much?”

  “You know that’s how I am, baby.” He kissed my forehead then rested his arm over mine. “And you like it.”

  “I like you—even when you’re crass.” I rested my cheek on his chest and tried to absorb the moment, relish the fact that this was real. No more hiding and no more lying. I didn’t have to make up an excuse not to be set up on a date. I didn’t have to watch free drinks appear in front of Finn since it would be obvious he was claimed. A burden of stress left my shoulders, and I felt so relieved.

  Layla kept popping back into my mind, but I was too scared to ask him. We’d just made love without a condom, so I should have asked him before that happened, but being caught up in the moment, I didn’t think about the obvious concern.

&
nbsp; If he said it happened, I would feel sick to my stomach. So maybe it was best if I didn’t ask.

  Nothing good could come of it.

  We sat in silence for a while, letting the rare sunlight stretch across the bed and keep us warm. Soldier kept shifting into the patch of sun as it moved, wanting to enjoy the rays as much as possible. He might be a military dog, but he was still a regular dog at heart.

  Finn’s face was tilted toward the window when he spoke. “Did Colton give you a hard time?”

  The mention of Colton sucked away all my happiness.

  Finn slowly turned back to me. “We had to talk about him sometime, right?”

  I didn’t want Colton to be a sore subject, not when he was my best friend and Finn’s brother. We would just have to break through this awkward stage until it was normal for Colton to see us together. “He was supportive.” I considered telling Finn about the warning Colton gave, that Finn was a drifter and wouldn’t settle down for anyone—not even me. But that felt like a cold thing to say. Finn and I had never had a serious conversation about our relationship, and I wanted to hear his intentions from him, not from Colton. “He said it was a little uncomfortable, but he wants me to be happy. If you make me happy…then he wants you to keep making me happy.” I rubbed his hard torso, feeling his chest rise and fall softly as he continued to breathe.

  “Good. I’m glad he was understanding toward you.”

  “Why do you say that? Was he not understanding toward you?”

  Finn stared at the ceiling.

  The sound of footsteps sounded in the hallway, accompanied by voices. “How much shit do you have?” Zach’s voice was audible. “Because I got the small U-Haul. The rest of your stuff is in storage, so it shouldn’t be too much, right?”

  “Just my bed, a nightstand, and some clothes.” Colton’s voice grew louder as he passed the door.

  “That shouldn’t be too bad,” Zach said.

  “But I have a lot of clothes. You know me.” Colton didn’t sound like himself. There was a definite tone of displeasure, like he was dragging his feet as his mood sagged behind him.