Lost in Time (Forever and Always #20) Read online

  Lost in Time

  Book Twenty of the Forever and Always Series

  E. L. Todd

  This is a work of fiction. All the characters and events portrayed in this novel are fictitious or used fictitiously. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the publisher or author, except in the case of a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review.

  Lost in Time

  E.L. Todd

  Copyright E.L. Todd 2013

  Smashwords Edition

  Chapter 1

  Sean

  The next three months passed by without any incidents. Mike and Cassandra had a wonderful honeymoon and returned to their mansion down the road. If she weren’t already pregnant, I would suspect he knocked her up.

  While this time has been wonderful for my brother, it hasn’t been wonderful for me. After losing one baby, I was determined not to go through it again. Scarlet stayed home like I asked, and I was there for her every step of the way, but shit, I was scared something horrible would happen. The doctor said miscarriages happen in the first trimester, not after, usually. I wanted the time to go by fast so we could cross the finish line. Every day that passed pushed us a little further to our goal.

  Scarlet was in bed when I got home from work. I knew she hated lying down all day. Even though the pillows were propped up and she leaned against the headboard, she was still restless. I didn’t blame her. I’d hate doing nothing all day. Scarlet loved to move around and be on her feet. This was killing her. But she didn’t complain, knowing it was necessary.

  I sat at the edge of the bed then gave her a soft kiss. My lips pressed to hers longer than usual, feeling the warmth and softness of her mouth. “How was your day?”

  She shrugged. “It was okay.”

  I stared at her computer and her notebook. I knew she was getting a lot done in bed while Olga took care of the house. “Can I get you anything? I got UNO on my way home.” I opened my bag and handed her the cards.

  Her eyes lit up. “This will be fun.”

  We’d been playing a lot of games since she became pregnant. It was a fun activity that required no movement. After being at work all day, I just wanted to come home and lay on the couch with her cuddled beside me, but I knew she was bored and restless. I needed to spend time with her and distract her mind, not that I minded.

  “Are there any other games you’d like to play? I’ve pretty much cleared out the toy store.”

  She shook her head. “None comes to mind. At least our kids will have everything when they have friends over.”

  “Yeah. And they’ll be pros.”

  She left the box of cards on the bed. “How was your day?”

  “The same as it is every day.”

  She studied my face, looking into my eyes and glancing at my tight lips. “Are you stressed out at work?”

  “No.” Work had nothing to do with it.

  “Then what’s troubling you?”

  “When I’m at work I’m not here.”

  Understanding came into her eyes. “Sean, I’m fine. Olga takes care of me.”

  It wasn’t that either. “I’m scared.” I hated admitting I was weak, but she was the only person I could be honest with.

  She knew what I meant. “I am too.”

  I took a deep breath. “But it’s been three months. I’m sure everything is fine.” I had to be brave for her, to give her hope. She was almost at her second trimester when we lost the baby. I didn’t want to repeat history.

  “We’ve been very careful, Sean. I’ve been lying in bed, relaxed, every day. I’m not stressed out. Everything is going really well.”

  “Yeah.” There was nothing more I could do. “I made a doctor’s appointment. We’ll get checked out.”

  “Okay.”

  I pulled back her covers then lifted up her shirt. I kissed her distended belly, loving the roundness. Her arms and legs were still small and toned. Her neck and ribs still had the same slenderness. Just her stomach had expanded. And it was a sexy sight. And her breasts were much bigger than they used to be—much to my pleasure.

  Her fingers moved through my hair. “She’s excited to meet you.”

  I moved my lips to hers and kissed her. “She?”

  “It’s a girl.” She said it without hesitation.

  “Why do you think that?”

  She shrugged. “I just know.”

  My hand moved across her stomach. “I would love a little girl. She’d have brown hair just like you and eat dirt off the floor.”

  She smiled. “Just because I didn’t have class doesn’t mean our little girl won’t.”

  “Who are you kidding?” I teased.

  “We’ll both raise her into an amazing woman.”

  “Who will never have sex.”

  She raised an eyebrow. “You better be joking.”

  “Of course, I am. When she gets married at the age of thirty then she can have sex with her husband.”

  “Do you think we’re having a daughter in the twenties…?”

  “No…”

  “Then you better be joking.”

  “My daughter isn’t going to be a slut,” I said firmly. “We’re going to raise her to wait until marriage.”

  “Um…you weren’t a virgin when you got married.”

  “That’s different.”

  “Why is that different?” she snapped

  “Because I’m a guy.”

  The anger brewed in her eyes. “You better knock off that sexist shit.”

  “It’s not sexist. It’s just a fact. Guys sleep around and it doesn’t ruin their reputation. If a girl does, she’s a whore. I’m not saying it’s right, but it’s how it is. And my daughter won’t have sex with a man until he commits to her for the rest of his life.”

  “I had sex before marriage. Does that make me a whore?”

  “Well…for me you are.”

  She hit my arm. “I’m being serious, Sean. You will not act like this when she’s becoming a woman.”

  “Too bad,” I said. “If any guy comes near her, I’ll show him my shotgun.”

  She rolled her eyes. “When our daughter is an adult, she can do whatever she wants. She’ll be smart and know how to make smart decisions and be safe. That’s all we can ask of her. Her personal life is none of our business.”

  “We’ll see about that…”

  “When she goes off to college, you won’t be able to watch her all the time.”

  “It’s called a private bodyguard. He’ll keep the dogs away.”

  Scarlet sighed, growing more irritated. “If you act like that, I will slap you in front of her.”

  “I’m just trying to protect her.”

  Scarlet shook her head, crossing her arms over her chest.

  “I’ve been a dog my whole life. I’ve used women and lied to them. I’ve hurt a lot of people. When I fucked girls, they didn’t mean a damn thing to me. I took so many virginities then never called. I told girls I loved them just so I could get my dick wet. I will not let that happen to my little girl.”

  “In case you didn’t notice, all the girls you were with were whores. I only slept with guys I was in a relationship with—except you. And I’m sure our daughter will be the same way.”

  “I’ll just get a chastity belt.”

  “I understand you’re protective of your daughter. I do. But when she’s old enough, you’re going to have to let her make her own mistakes and her own decisions. That’s how people grow. Sleeping with you broke my heart and damaged me, but that mistake ended up being the greatest thin
g in my life.”

  My eyes softened slightly, my breathing returning to normal. “I just love her so much.” I put my hand on her stomach. “I haven’t met her, I don’t know what she looks like, and I haven’t even heard her voice. But I already know she means the world to me. I have to protect her. It’s an instinct I can’t get rid of.”

  “And you will.” She massaged my hand then brought it to her lips, kissing it.

  “I don’t want some asshole to make my little girl cry…”

  “It’s inevitable, Sean.”

  I shook my head. “I wouldn’t survive it.”

  “But she’ll be stronger because of it. Now let’s stop talking about being parents in eighteen years and start thinking about all the years in between. We don’t even have baby clothes yet.”

  “You’re right.” I kicked off my shoes then rested my elbow on the bed while I leaned back. After preying on women my entire life, I was determined not to let it happen to my own daughter. But after all the sins I committed, I deserved it. I just didn’t want my little girl to suffer. I loved her so much even though she wasn’t here yet. I didn’t even know if she was a girl. Scarlet was clearly irritated by my attitude toward fatherhood, but I couldn’t change the way I felt. It would probably make my life easier to have a boy.

  Scarlet pulled the covers back then moved to the end of the bed. “What do you want to do tonight?”

  “You choose,” I said.

  “I always choose.”

  “You’re always pregnant.”

  “Can we go out to eat?”

  “Of course, baby. I’d love to take you out to dinner.” Did she even need to ask?

  “I’m just sick of being home.”

  Understandable. “Let me shower and we’ll go somewhere nice.”

  “Okay,” she said happily.

  I gave her another kiss before I got into the shower.

  We went to an Italian bistro in the city. Scarlet loved anything edible, but she was particularly fond of Italian. It was the place we used to go as friends.

  “I’m surprised you picked this place,” she said with a smile.

  “Back in time.”

  She tightened her coat around her then approached the door. I opened it for her, like always.

  “We’re still friends, right?”

  “For the most part,” she said playfully.

  I pulled out the chair for her then scooted her in before I sat across from her. She wore a loose sweater with leggings. Her clothes hid her bump, but she still looked beautiful. I had a feeling this pregnancy was going to last but I didn’t want to get too optimistic just in case I was wrong. “What are you getting?”

  She looked through the menu. “I don’t know…I want the pizza but I want the chicken masala. Ugh, they give you too many choices.”

  I smirked. Sometimes I wondered if she was Italian because she loved food so much. I was getting a salad and a soup. I didn’t go to the gym today so I had to cut back on calories somewhere.

  The waiter approached our table, ready to take our order.

  I automatically ordered for both of us, just as my dad did with my mom. “I’ll have the soup and salad and she’ll have the chicken masala. Also, we’d like an extra large combination pizza to go.”

  “Very good, sir.” He took the menus and walked away.

  “You ordered both?” Scarlet asked incredulously.

  “You wanted both, right?” I gave her a cocky smirk.

  “You’re going to make me fat.”

  “Impossible,” I said.

  “If our baby is overweight, I’m blaming you.”

  “Good. I hope our baby is cute and fat.” I sipped my water while I stared at my wife across the table.

  Even when she put no effort into her appearance, she was breathtaking. I loved how loose strands of her hair would sometimes escape across her face. She tucked them away, showing her small hands and perfect nails. Her eyes shined bright even though it was dark in the room. She was lovely.

  “What?” She caught me staring at her.

  “I just like to look at you.”

  “You weren’t looking at my chest—I’m surprised.”

  I smirked. “Your face is stealing my attention.”

  She averted her gaze then sipped her water.

  “Sean?”

  I turned at the sound of the name. It was a skinny brunette with too much makeup. She was a little shorter than me, and her hair was pulled back, revealing golden earrings. She was nothing special, but more importantly, I didn’t recognize her—at all. “Hi…”

  She came closer to me like we were friends. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”

  “Yeah, just work and stuff.” Who the hell was this girl?

  She grabbed my tie and played with it. “You look good in that suit.”

  My hand automatically pulled her hand off me. “Don’t touch me.” I said it harsher than I meant to. Did she not see my wife sitting right across from me? My pregnant wife?

  Her eyes widened. “Geez, what’s your problem?”

  I wanted to introduce Scarlet, but since I didn’t even know this girl’s name, that was impossible. “I just don’t like it when women touch me in front of my wife.”

  “Your wife?” she asked in surprise.

  “Yeah,” I snapped. “She’s right next to you.”

  “Oh.” She looked at Scarlet. “Um, hi.”

  “Hi,” Scarlet said pleasantly.

  “Now if you excuse us, we’re about to have dinner.” That was the nicest way I could dismiss her without being a complete asshole. The last thing I needed was Scarlet to think I was having an affair or being flirtatious at the office when she wasn’t around. That wasn’t me, but when women hit on me like they knew me and then acted surprised when I said I was married, I wouldn’t blame Scarlet for jumping to conclusions.

  “Whatever.” She rolled her eyes and walked away.

  Once she was gone, I prepared for the fight about to ensue. The last thing I wanted was Scarlet to think I was a womanizer. “I didn’t sleep with her,” I blurted. “I don’t even know who that is. I swear.” The words fell out of my mouth so fast they didn’t even make sense.

  “What?” Scarlet asked.

  “I’m not having an affair. I don’t even know who that woman is.”

  She smiled. “I know, Sean.”

  “What…you do?”

  “That was Samantha. You went on a few dates with her years ago.”

  The name still wasn’t ringing a bell.

  “She was the girl you had sex with in the park and then got a ticket.”

  Now it clicked. “Oh. Okay, now I remember.”

  Scarlet smirked then shook her head slightly.

  “I’m not sleeping with her now,” I added. “Just to clarify.”

  Scarlet laughed. “Sean, I know.”

  “Why are you laughing?” I wasn’t amused.

  “Because any time a girl is somehow involved in our lives, you freak out and practically have a heart attack.”

  “I don’t want you to think I’m cheating on you.”

  “I know you aren’t.” She had a fond look in her eyes. “I trust you, Sean. But you don’t need to freak out every time.”

  “It doesn’t bother you when women hit on me?” Because every time they even looked at her, I was pissed.

  “Not really.”

  “What?” I snapped. “Not even a little?”

  “I trust you, Sean. There’s no reason to be jealous. And you’re a good-looking, educated, respectable, billionaire. Women are going to flock to you no matter what I say or do. And believe me, they aren’t going to care if you’re married.”

  I understood why men hit on Scarlet all the time, but that didn’t make me feel any better about it. And the idea of a guy wanting to have an affair with my wife just pissed me off. I married her for a reason. She was mine.

  “Why are you mad?”

  “Because you should be jealous. It hurts that you ar
en’t.”

  “Really?” she asked. “Isn’t the fact that I’m so secure in my relationship with you that I’m not worried about anything mean something?”

  “I know you would never cheat on me and I still don’t like it when guys hit on you,” I snapped.

  “That’s different, Sean.”

  “How?”

  “It’s a male instinct. I’m small and need to be protected. I’m always at a disadvantage because most men are larger than me. You naturally feel the need to claim me. Honestly, it has nothing to do with jealousy. It’s just about claiming your territory. You, on the other hand, are unable to be overpowered and raped by women. It’s different.”

  I was still a little hurt that she wasn’t jealous—at all. I sipped my water again and waited for the food.

  She sighed. “Still mad?”

  “No.”

  “It seems like it.”

  I drank my water again, having nothing to say.

  The food arrived and I concentrated on my plate. He put the pizza at the other end of the table for us to take home. I didn’t look at my wife because I couldn’t deny how hurt I was. Her eye contact made me look away. “How’s Cortland?”

  “I haven’t talked to him much. He seems busy with Monnique.”

  “That’s good.” I couldn’t think of anything else to talk about.

  “Sean, I love you so much. Please don’t think my lack of jealousy has anything to do with my love for you.”

  I finished my food and didn’t respond.

  When the tab came, I slipped cash inside so I wouldn’t have to wait for a receipt. Now I just wanted to go home. I grabbed the pizza then pulled Scarlet out with me. When we got to the car, I got her inside then placed the box on her lap. I had a feeling the argument would continue once I was in the driver’s seat.

  I got inside then turned on the music. It wasn’t too loud to block out our conversation, but it was loud enough to indicate I didn’t feel like chatting. Scarlet respected my need for silence and didn’t speak. We drove home, the awkwardness filling the car.

  Once we were home, I went straight to our room. I just wanted to be alone and down a glass of whiskey. I wasn’t sure why this bothered me so much. Penelope was never jealous of other girls, and she ended up cheating on me and breaking my heart. She obviously didn’t care. Of course Scarlet did. She married me after all. But I guess I was still put our because of it.