The Lover Read online

  Zach sighed. “Sometimes I hate that you’re gay…”

  I turned to Finn. “Colton is moving already?”

  Finn shrugged slightly.

  I got out of bed and started to pull on my clothes.

  He eyed me without getting up. “What are you doing?”

  “Going to talk to them.”

  He sat up, propping his body on his elbows. “You think that’s a good idea? He’s going to know what we were doing in here.”

  “He said he was fine with it, and I’m done hiding.” I put on my clothes then checked my hair and makeup in the mirror. By the time I came out of the bathroom, Finn had pulled on his sweatpants and run his fingers through his hair.

  Soldier knew something was going on, so he raised his head and pointed his ears.

  I opened the door and heard them in Colton’s bedroom.

  “You brought the frame too?” Zach asked incredulously. “You knew you were only going to be here for like a month. Now we have to move it again.” He lifted one side of the mattress.

  “If we moved it to the storage center, we would have had to move it again anyway.” He helped Zach maneuver the mattress and lean it against the wall so they could access the box spring.

  Zach straightened then dragged his hand down his face. “Well, you aren’t moving ever again. You’re going to die in that apartment.”

  “What if I get married and have kids?” Colton asked.

  “Then you’ll all live in that two-bedroom apartment.”

  I stepped into the room with my arms crossed over my chest. “You guys need a hand?”

  Colton turned his gaze on me, and instead of being happy like he usually was, there was a slight hint of disappointment. Then he turned rigid as the tension settled in. He quickly figured out exactly where I’d come from and what I’d been doing before he walked into the house. “I think Zach and I can take care of it.”

  Zach glanced back and forth between us, clearly uncomfortable with the situation. He didn’t even look at me.

  “Let’s keep going.” Colton nodded to the box spring, and he and Zach both bent down and lifted it up. They maneuvered it against the wall.

  I felt Finn behind me, so I glanced at him over my shoulder.

  With his hands in his pockets, he leaned against the doorframe, not offering to help like he usually would. Soldier stayed at his side.

  “Are you sure?” I asked. “Finn and I could help you save a lot of time.”

  Colton didn’t look at me when he answered. “I said we’re fine.”

  Last time we’d spoken, Colton had been restrained but supportive, but now he was blatantly hostile. Maybe seeing us leave Finn’s bedroom together unnerved him. “I’m surprised you could get into your new apartment so soon. I think Damon just moved out.”

  Zach walked to the other side of the room and started taking clothes out of the closet and tossing them into boxes, keeping his back turned to us.

  Colton placed his hands on his hips and finally lifted his chin to look at me. “I’m living with Zach for a week until it’s open.”

  I continued to stand there with my arms over my chest, my eyebrow raised. “That seems like a lot of work.”

  “Couldn’t agree more,” Zach said, tossing a pile of t-shirts into a box.

  Colton didn’t look at him. “Shut up, Zach.”

  “I don’t understand.” I found it hard to believe Colton would move out prematurely just because he was uncomfortable with Finn and me sleeping together. “I really hope you aren’t doing this just because you’re uncomfortable with Finn and I sleeping together. Because we can always stay at my place.”

  He rubbed the back of his neck then looked at his nightstand. “That isn’t why. You guys should enjoy your day while we finish this.” He bent down and emptied the drawers of his nightstand.

  I glanced at Finn, who continued to stand there with a stoic expression. His defined arms were crossed over his chest, his bulging muscles making the ink pop out. I turned back to Colton. “You said you would be supportive. You said you wanted me to be happy. I understand it may take some time to get used to, but moving out early is just dramatic. You should enjoy your time with your brother.”

  Colton released a sarcastic laugh. “I’ll pass.”

  When I detected the disdain in his tone, I knew this was bad. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  He rose to his full height and looked at me again. He opened his mouth to say something, but then he changed his mind and shut it again. “I don’t want to live with Finn anymore. That’s what it means.”

  I stepped forward. “Why? You said you were okay with this.”

  “I am okay with it. I said I won’t get in your way, and I won’t.”

  “Then why are you acting like this?” I came closer to him, the disappointment flooding my veins. “This isn’t being supportive. When you told me you were gay, I was supportive. I didn’t kick you out of the apartment and avoid you. I was by your side every step of the way. I didn’t run the way you are now.”

  “Not the same thing,” he said. “You know that.”

  “I think it’s pretty similar…”

  When the tension increased further, Zach cleared his throat and left the room. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom.” He moved past Finn into the hallway.

  Colton raised his gaze and looked at his brother. “Give us a minute.”

  Finn held his ground, like he was about to make a smartass comment. Instead, he obeyed and walked out with Soldier behind him.

  I turned back to Colton. “What’s your problem?”

  “Finn. He’s my problem.” Now that we were alone, he was blunter. “If you guys want to be together, that’s fine. But when he asked my permission, he had already slept with you. He had already been sneaking around behind my back. Our man-to-man conversation was meaningless. He betrayed me. He slept with my ex-wife and then had the balls to pretend it never happened. That’s unforgivable.” He stepped back, as if our positions were too close. “So no, I don’t want to live with him. I don’t want to see that asshole’s face every day. He’s an arrogant prick who doesn’t give a damn about anyone but himself. I want nothing to do with him.” With eyes filled with rage and mixed with despair, he was a man deeply wounded by Finn’s actions. The betrayal ran deep, far inside his soul. His anger stemmed from broken trust, from a violation of safety.

  “Why do you forgive me and not him?”

  “It’s different…”

  “How?” I pressed. “I was equally responsible for this.”

  “Do you want me to be mad at you?” he asked incredulously.

  “No. But I think you’re being unfair.”

  “He’s my brother. He crossed a line. You’re my ex-wife. Our marriage ended because of my mistake. I can’t dictate what you do and how you find happiness. It would be wrong of me to deny you something that you want.”

  “Then isn’t it wrong to deny him what he wants?”

  He raised an eyebrow. “Do you really not see where I’m coming from?”

  “I do. I just think you need to cut him some slack—”

  “Why?” he hissed. “I’m not overreacting. When he asked for my permission, it made me uncomfortable, but I got over it in a few days. It wasn’t anything we couldn’t forget about. But sleeping with you this entire time… It’s wrong.” He shook his head. “He lied to me. He fucking lied.”

  “Colton, I’m sure your imagination is far worse than what actually happened.”

  “No,” he snapped. “Because I don’t imagine anything. He’s my brother, and he should have been honorable. He fucked the one woman on this planet who was off-limits. So fucking disrespectful. We haven’t even been divorced for a year. What kind of asshole does that?”

  “Look, Finn and I agreed that nothing was going to happen. We kissed one night, and after that happened, Finn said we couldn’t go any further. He said he didn’t want to betray you. He said he was too loyal to you. But then…it was unavoida
ble. We’re like two magnets, Colton. I can’t explain it.”

  “Every woman is a magnet to Finn,” he snapped. “You really think you’re any different?”

  The insult stung.

  He rolled his eyes. “There were hundreds of women before you, and there will be hundreds after you.”

  That stung even more.

  “Why would you even want to be with a guy who would screw over his brother like that?” He threw his arms up. “Doesn’t sound like the honorable man everyone describes him as. He sounds like a jerk who can’t keep his dick in his pants.”

  “Please don’t say that…”

  “It’s true. And I have every right to say it.” He dropped his hands and turned back to his stuff.

  “I know you’re upset right now, but running away isn’t the solution.”

  “I’m not running away. I just don’t want to live with the guy.”

  “You really can’t wait a week?” I asked.

  “I can’t wait a minute.” He rose to his full height again. “You should get back to Finn so I can finish up. I want to get out of here as quickly as possible.”

  My heart slowly started to crack from the pain throbbing in my chest. “So, what? You’re just never going to be in the same room together? What about us?”

  “We’ll be fine, Pepper.”

  “How can we be fine if the three of us never see each other?”

  “I’ll see Finn because of you. But don’t expect me to talk to him like everything is fine.”

  My jaw was practically on the floor. “And you don’t think that will make it uncomfortable?”

  “Why would I care about making it uncomfortable? He didn’t care about making me uncomfortable when he slept with you.”

  My arms tightened across my chest as the weight of the situation fell on my shoulders. This was really terrible, terrifying. Finn and Colton were the closest people to me, and I didn’t want to choose between them.

  “He didn’t even tell me the truth, Pepper. I found out from you. The guy didn’t have the balls to do it himself.”

  “Because he knew how you would have reacted. You would have flipped out and not listened to another word he said.”

  “And I would have had every right to. But he’s a coward who didn’t have the courage to face me. That kind of bravery must have been really useful in the military…”

  Colton did have every right to be angry, but I couldn’t let a comment like that slide. I knew Finn was in the wrong for what happened, but I couldn’t allow the defamation of his character. “I understand you’re upset right now, but don’t say anything like that ever again. I mean it, Colton. I’ll never forgive you if you do.”

  His eyes narrowed on my face, but he didn’t repeat those horrifying words. “You’re defending him now?”

  “I defend everything he’s done for our country. He’s a veteran and a hero. Don’t insult his service or his sacrifice. That’s completely below the belt, and you know it. It’s fine if you have a problem with him, but keep that part of his life out of it.”

  Colton’s anger remained, but he didn’t argue.

  “He’s your brother. You need to work this out.”

  “I don’t have to work out anything. The guy has never been a part of my life anyway. He’s been gone since I was sixteen. He didn’t even come to our wedding. So why do I have to be close with him now?”

  “Colton.”

  “What?” he asked, dead serious.

  “You don’t mean that.”

  “I do mean it. He’s only been here for a few months, and he’s already slept with my ex-wife. That’s the kind of guy we’re dealing with.”

  “That’s not how it happened,” I argued. “It wasn’t like he took one look at me and just decided to go for it. Our relationship built through our friendship. It became stronger and stronger with every interaction. Our chemistry was crazy. I’m telling you, our relationship means something. I know you think I’m just the flavor of the week, but I’m not.”

  He crossed his arms over his chest. “Even if that’s true, it doesn’t matter. I don’t want to be friends with someone who would do that.”

  “Colton, he’s your brother.” Finn had let Colton live with him when he needed a place to stay. He marched into Colton’s former boss’s office and punched him in the face after he’d treated Colton badly. Finn tried to stay away from me even though he wanted me so much. He was much more than what Colton gave him credit for.

  “Yeah, he is,” he said in agreement. “But he’s not my friend.”

  2

  Colton

  Zach had a one-bedroom apartment, so I was stuck sleeping on the couch.

  It was still better than staying with Finn.

  I sat on the couch with a beer in my hand while Zach sat in the armchair with Stella sprawled across his lap. It was difficult getting used to seeing them together, especially when they were affectionate all the time.

  “I can’t believe Finn and Pepper are together,” Stella said in surprise. “I had no idea. She didn’t tell me anything.”

  “Yeah,” I said bitterly. “She didn’t tell me either.” After I’d packed up my things, I walked out the front door without looking back. Finn didn’t try to change my mind. He didn’t bother saying goodbye to me.

  I wished I could take Soldier with me.

  “Now it all makes sense,” Stella said. “Finn turned me down because he was already seeing Pepper.”

  “You think they’ve been seeing each other that long?” Zach asked in surprise. “That would be a long time.”

  “I have no idea.” I’d never asked.

  “I’ve never dated a set of brothers before,” Stella said. “That must be interesting.”

  The thought crossed my mind. Would Pepper compare the two of us? If Finn had a bigger dick, would she tell everyone? I’d been compared to my brother my entire life, and now my best friend would compare me as well.

  Zach watched me while his hand rested on her thigh. “You okay, man?”

  I dragged my hand down my face and ignored the game on the TV. “Not really. Pepper acts like I’m ridiculous for being upset.”

  “You have every right to be upset,” Zach said in my defense. “That would be like me sleeping with Pepper. It’s just something you don’t do. But it’s worse because Finn is your brother.”

  “I agree,” Stella said. “But I also think you shouldn’t be mad at him forever.”

  I looked at her. “It’s one of those things you do stay mad about forever…”

  “But he’s your family.”

  I took a long drink of my beer then looked at the TV. “He’s no friend of mine.”

  Stella pouted her lips. “That’s sad.”

  “I don’t think so,” Zach said. “The guy comes back to town and screws his brother’s ex-wife. Who the fuck does that?”

  “You’re just mad because you know I think he’s hot,” Stella argued.

  “No,” Zach said defensively. “Well…I’m kinda mad about that. But I’m mostly mad about what he did to Colton.”

  “I feel so stupid,” I added. “I thought I saw something between them this entire time, but I brushed it off. I believed my brother wouldn’t do that to me…but he did. Just goes to show you can’t trust people…even your own family.”

  “That’s not true,” Zach said. “You can trust people. You just have to trust the right people.”

  “Well…Finn is definitely not the right kind of people.”

  “I have a question.” Stella took the beer out of Zach’s hand and helped herself to a sip. “Why are you so pissed at Finn but not at Pepper?”

  “Because it’s a different situation.” I finished my beer then grabbed another one from the fridge. “She’s not my brother.”

  “But she’s your friend,” she countered. “Didn’t she cross a line too?”

  “Not the same thing,” I said as I shook my head. “After what I did to Pepper, she gets a free pass. This is her free pa
ss. Besides, it’s not going to last forever. It’ll be over in a few weeks or months, and then he’ll break her heart. He’ll be out of the picture, and the whole thing will blow over. He’ll relocate somewhere else, and I’ll never have to see him except on the occasional holiday.”

  “You seem confident,” Zach said. “You really think Finn would do that to her?”

  “He does it to everyone else,” I countered. “Why would she be any different?”

  Zach shrugged. “Maybe she is different to him. I doubt he would put your relationship on the line for a woman who didn’t mean anything to him.”

  I looked back at the TV screen and refused to believe that. Pepper believed it to be true, but she was too blinded by love to see logic. If Finn was capable of ruining his relationship with his only brother, he was capable of anything. I hoped I was wrong, for her sake.

  But I knew I wasn’t.

  I sat across from Tom while we had dinner together at a steak house. Our relationship had been going really well until the news about Finn and Pepper hit me hard in the face. I always imagined my partner and I would do double dates with Pepper and her guy, but now that wouldn’t be possible.

  He sipped his wine and kept his eyes on me, his blond hair perfectly styled with gel and hair spray. He was meticulous with his looks, always wearing the best clothes and maintaining the best hygiene. His apartment was spotless. He reminded me of Finn in some ways. “You seem down.”

  “Sorry…this whole Finn and Pepper thing has been on my mind a lot.”

  “It makes you that uncomfortable?”

  I shrugged. “I guess. There are so many reasons I’m against this relationship, but I guess my brother’s betrayal hurts me the most. We’ve never been close, but when he moved back to Seattle, I was really excited to spend time with him. I’ve always looked up to him. He’s always been the cool, handsome, popular guy…and he was my hero. We really started to click, and I felt like I had another best friend. But then all of this happened… It makes me wonder if he ever felt the same way.”

  “Maybe he did.”