You Are All I'll Ever Need Read online

  “Weirdo…”

  My dad laughed. “You just say that because you’re broke.”

  “I’m not broke,” I argued. “I have a pretty good salary from sport betting.”

  “So admirable…”

  “You bet too.”

  “In addition to my business,” he jabbed.

  “Hey, I’d rather make money doing something I like than flipping burgers.”

  “It’s still not a real job,” my dad argued.

  “Well, that shop is going to be mine soon.”

  “Then you’ll understand what it’s really like to have a job.”

  I sipped my milkshake and felt the coolness move down my throat.

  “By the way, I want you to work with me for a few months before I let you go on your own.”

  “What for?” I demanded. “I know how to ink.”

  My dad gave me a serious look. “Do you know how to make the schedule? Do you know how to do the payroll? Do you know how to deposit the money? Do you know how to run the register? Do you know how to do bookkeeping? Do you—”

  “Okay, I get it.”

  “And you haven’t formally inked anybody. I’ll have to teach you.”

  “But—”

  “You could really hurt someone—even kill them—if you do it wrong.”

  I stopped arguing. “I better be getting paid for this.”

  “Minimum wage.”

  “What?” I slammed my milkshake onto the counter. “I’m your son. I should be getting paid like a vice president or something.”

  “I started my business on my own and risked my life savings. You didn’t. You’re just starting out and I need to teach you the value of a dollar.”

  “I’m going to be poor in the city? I won’t even be able to afford an apartment.”

  My dad shrugged. “Not my problem.”

  Now I was mad. I wanted to curse at him but I knew that would be a stupid idea.

  “Being poor is a humbling experience. Believe me, you’ll thank me one day.”

  “This is bullshit. You had everything you ever wanted. You opened up your shop, didn’t have to go to college, and you were free. I have it way worse than you do.”

  My dad stared at me for a long time, his eyes guarded. He put down his soda and clenched his hands on the table. He was quiet but I saw the anger brewing inside his eyes. Then it disappeared. “Son, you have no idea what I’ve been through. And if you did, you would feel like shit for saying that to me.” His voice was quiet but deadly at the same time.

  For some reason, inexplicably, I did feel like shit. “What do you mean?”

  He grabbed his soda again and drank it. “Nothing. We’ll discuss your internship more when you graduate.”

  I couldn’t stop thinking about what he said. What did he mean by that? What happened? My dad never talked about his childhood. I never met my grandparents so I assumed they were dead or he cut them out of his life. But why? What happened? “Dad, you can tell me. I want to know.”

  “There’s nothing to tell.” He didn’t look at me when he said it.

  “Why haven’t I met my grandparents?”

  He stared out the window. “Slade, I’m never going to discuss this with you so stop asking.”

  “But why? I mean, I know I’m your son but I’m also your friend… I tell you everything.”

  He sighed. “I know, Slade. But I’ll take this one to the grave. Please don’t ask me again.”

  “Does Skye know?”

  “Scarlet would never tell her either. You aren’t going to find out that way so don’t bother.”

  “Just tell me why you won’t tell me.”

  He turned his gaze back to mine. “To protect you.”

  “Protect me? From what?”

  “Pain.”

  “Pain?”

  “Mine.” He piled his trash onto his tray. “Slade, drop it.”

  “Well, you brought it up.”

  “To teach you a damn lesson.” His eyes shined with anger. “Don’t make assumptions about someone unless you know the facts. It’s an ignorant way to live. I hope you don’t repeat that mistake to someone else.”

  “Will you ever tell me?”

  “No.”

  “How about Mom?”

  Now he was getting mad. “I said drop it, Slade.”

  “Fine.” I knew I should back off.

  Awkward silence stretched between us. My dad watched the people pass on the street, and I looked at my empty tray. I wanted to say something to make the situation better but my mind was blank.

  “Still with that girl?” my dad asked.

  “Huh?” What was he talking about?

  “The girl you were banging exclusively.”

  “Oh.” Trinity. “Yeah…”

  His eyes darted to mine. “You’ve been with the same girl for four months?”

  “We aren’t together,” I said quickly. “We just have sex. It’s not a big deal. She’s not my girlfriend…”

  “But you’re monogamous, right?”

  “Well, yeah.”

  “And that was established?”

  “Well, she started seeing this other guy and I didn’t like it so…I asked her to stop.”

  A grin spread on my father’s face. “My son is in love.”

  “I am not!” I snapped. “I just didn’t want some guy to take her away and end our arrangement. That’s all. She doesn’t mean anything to me.”

  “Sure…”

  “I’m not lying!”

  “Why are you acting like that’s a bad thing?” my dad asked. “If you just want to be with this one girl, there’s nothing wrong with that.”

  “But I don’t. I’m a terminal bachelor. I said that already.”

  He shrugged. “Things change.”

  “Not for me. I just like our situation for the time being. Eventually, I’ll get tired of her and move on.”

  “And she’ll date someone else and you’ll be perfectly fine with that?”

  The idea of Trinity being with some other guy made me sick. But I wouldn’t admit it. “Yeah.”

  “Bullshit,” he said with a laugh.

  “Get off my back.” Now I was getting irritated.

  My dad turned serious again. “Slade, if you care about this girl, it doesn’t make you any less of a man. If she makes you happy, see it through. It doesn’t make you weak. I’m not sure why you think that.”

  “I just don’t want to get married and kiss my dreams goodbye.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “I don’t understand your meaning.”

  “If I’m married, I can’t see the world. I can’t join a band. I can’t do anything I want to do because I’ll be held back. I don’t want that to happen to me.”

  He nodded his head slowly. “I see.”

  “I can’t let that happen. I see it all the time.”

  “Well…I’ve been around and I can tell you there’s not a lot in the world to see…unless you have someone to see it with. And when you’re on that journey, it’s a lonely road. Maybe you shouldn’t rule it out altogether. You can always wait until you’re older to settle down.”

  “Like you?” I asked.

  “Yeah.” He nodded. “I had a great time in my twenties. Believe me, they were crazy.” He laughed. “But when I met your mother, my life got so much better. Settling down and having kids was the best thing that ever happened to me.”

  “No regrets?” I asked. “Honestly? I won’t tell Mom.”

  He looked me in the eye. “Not a single one.”

  I held his gaze before I looked down at my empty tray. There was a good possibility I would live in regret no matter what path I chose. If I let Trinity go, I would regret it sometime later when I was hollow and alone. But if I held onto her, I would resent her for stopping my dreams. In either scenario, I lost.

  “Just think about it.” My dad finished his milkshake then left the empty cup in the tray. “What do you want to do now?”

  I wasn’t in the mood to
do anything. Now I was depressed and thoughtful. “Want to stop by the shop and see the boys?”

  “Sounds like a plan.”

  We dumped our trash then left.

  ***

  You’re going, right?

  I pulled on my shirt then ran my fingers through my hair. I did the least amount of work when I got ready, and fortunately, I still looked good. The cocky smirk on my face attracted women like flies, and my colorful ink caught everyone’s eyes, male or female. If you’re insistent on it.

  You have to go, Slade.

  I could just say I’m busy with my dad. Honestly, I’d rather hang out with him anyway.

  I’m tired of arguing with you about this. Just shut up and go.

  How would you feel if I made you go to a male strip club and flirt with some guy?

  Well…

  Forget it. I don’t want to go.

  Grow a pair and just do it.

  Then I got an idea. How about you dress in a disguise like a wig and glasses and you can sit on my lap all night long?

  How stupid do you think Roland and Conrad are? They’ll recognize me.

  Not if you wear a wig and glasses…

  It’s too risky.

  Come on, it’ll be fun. We can have sex in the bathroom.

  Wow, that’s tempting… The sarcasm was clear even over text.

  Come on. Don’t make me hit on some skank and keep my distance at the same time.

  What am I going to tell my dad?

  What are you? Five?

  I need to borrow his car so he’s going to know what I’m up to. And I can’t say I’m with Skye because he talks to Uncle Sean like every other second. And I can’t say I’m with Conrad.

  Don’t you have any other friends? It was impossible to get her to do anything remotely dangerous.

  You don’t have any other friends either.

  Tell him you’re seeing Silke. He’s not going to question that.

  I guess that could work…

  My heart rate picked up. So, you’ll come?

  I have a feeling I’m going to regret this.

  You won’t. I promise. Make sure you cover your face but let the rest hang out. I sent her a winking face attachment.

  Go to hell, Slade.

  We’re going to Tilly’s at ten. See you there.

  Whatever.

  ***

  “I could live here.” Conrad sipped his brandy while he watched the girl dance on the pole. She only wore a G-string and had massive knockers. I stared at her only because I was supposed to. When I didn’t get hard, I was surprised.

  The music was loud on the speakers and smoke filled the air. I drank my gin and scanned the room, hoping to see Trinity. She hadn’t texted me so I was getting worried. She wasn’t the best driver in the world so I hoped she made it through traffic okay.

  “Look at that number over there.” Roland nodded toward the bar.

  A brunette wearing stockings was sitting alone. Her lips were ruby red and she had long legs. She was cute but she didn’t do anything for me.

  “I love women who go to strip clubs,” Conrad said. “I should marry her.”

  “You know she’s probably a lesbian, right?” I countered.

  “That works for me,” Conrad said with a laugh.

  I looked toward the bar and saw a chick with a black bob. Thick and wide glasses covered her eyes, and she wore a short tube top that showed her pierced navel. A short skirt covered her ass but revealed her thighs. Her legs were long…dangerously long. I knew those legs anywhere.

  A tattoo of a fire-breathing dragon was on her shoulder. It was red and bright. Being an expert in ink, I knew it wasn’t real. Another one was on her other shoulder, a tree frog that looked demented.

  I could pick out my girl even in a disguise.

  Roland whistled. “Who’s the girl with the tats?”

  Vomit pooled in my stomach. If only he knew that was his cousin… “Dibs.” I got up and walked over to her, making sure I claimed her before they had a chance. That would just be an awkward situation, especially if Conrad noticed her.

  I reached her but refrained from touching her. I leaned against the bar with my glass still in hand. “You look fucking hot.”

  “Thank you.” She seemed indifferent toward me, bored. She turned her face away and revealed her neck, where a tattoo of a lipstick kiss was obvious.

  I smirked. “Nice touch.”

  “You like it?” She didn’t raise her voice over the sound system.

  “You look hot in ink. You should consider getting something real—by me.” I sipped my drink and still didn’t touch her.

  “My parents would have a heart attack.”

  “That’s what kids are supposed to do to their parents.” I turned toward the bartender. “A gin and coke for the lady.” I knew what Trinity liked to drink without asking her.

  She grabbed the drink and took a sip. “You think they know it’s me?”

  “Nope.” I didn’t tell her Roland checked her out. She would barf all over the counter.

  I eyed her body. “You have the perfect figure.”

  “So you’ve told me.”

  “I mean it.”

  “So do you.”

  A cocky grin spread on my face. “You think I have a perfect body?”

  “Do you have to let everything go to your head?”

  “Yes. So, you think I have a perfect body?”

  “I’m sleeping with you, aren’t I?”

  I smiled in victory. “It’s nice to hear once in a while.”

  “When I tell you to fuck me harder, that doesn’t qualify?”

  Her words sent a shiver down my spine and my cock hardened immediately. We hadn’t had sex in weeks. And I was starting to go crazy. Surprisingly, a relationship with her without the physical aspect was still satisfying. I didn’t want to look elsewhere. But I did miss it. “Watch your mouth.”

  “I have a feeling you don’t mean that…” Her eyes were guarded behind her glasses so I couldn’t read her like I usually could. But I liked it.

  “You’re right. I don’t.”

  “So…what now?” She sipped her drink then returned it to the counter.

  “Want to make out?”

  She shrugged. “Maybe.”

  I nodded to some comfortable chairs. “That looks like a prime spot.”

  “Wouldn’t that be suspicious?” she asked. “You only talked to me for five minutes and then you’re making out with me on a couch?”

  I laughed. “I’ve picked up women quicker than that. Normally, we’d be out of here and in a cheap hotel room by now.”

  “How romantic…”

  I chuckled then stepped closer to her. “Come on. We’ll make out for a little bit then we’ll leave.”

  “Honestly, I don’t know how you guys stand to be in here. The smoke is giving me lung cancer and the body odor is nauseating.”

  “It’s the naked ladies, baby.”

  She rolled her eyes. “That still wouldn’t keep me around.”

  “I would hope not.” I grabbed her hand and pulled her to the couch. Then I pulled her on my lap and moved my lips to her neck. “Are they watching?”

  She discreetly glanced their way. “Yeah.”

  “Looks like our plan worked.” I moved my lips to hers and kissed her. As soon as I touched her, I melted like I always did. The distant taste of raspberry came to my senses. My hand glided up her long thigh and slightly up her skirt. Her legs were smooth and warm. I pulled her closer to my chest and felt her breasts push against me. I was harder than a rock.

  We kissed for half an hour before I pulled away. “I think we can leave now.”

  “It’s been long enough?”

  “Well, I don’t normally make out with girls this long. So we should probably go.”

  “You won’t hear any arguments from me.”

  I glanced to the left and noticed the guys were coming. “They’re coming over here. Kiss my neck.”

  She
turned her face away from them and started sucking my skin and running her tongue over it.

  It was hard to concentrate when she did that.

  “Looks like Slade found his entertainment for the night,” Roland said as he sipped his glass.

  “Didn’t find anyone, boys?” I put my hands behind my head like I didn’t care.

  “Not yet,” Conrad said. “At least not a hot number like yours.”

  I tried not to cringe.

  Trinity faltered for a moment then kept going.

  God, that was fucking awkward.

  “Well, I’m taking Tri—Trixie to a private place.”

  “Trixie?” Roland asked. “That sounds like a porn star name.”

  “Because it is.” I stood up, taking her with me. “Hope you find a date, guys. If not, enjoy your hands.” I dragged her behind me, making sure her face was hidden as much as possible.

  “Lucky bastard,” Conrad mumbled.

  “He had her in like five minutes,” Roland said. “How does he do that?”

  We made it outside the building and down the sidewalk.

  Trinity breathed a sigh of relief. “I’m glad that went over well.”

  “Me too.”

  “But…I feel gross.”

  I knew she was thinking about what her brother said.

  “Let’s just forget it ever happened.”

  “Deal.”

  I held her hand while we headed to my car.

  “What now?”

  “Motel?” I asked.

  She halted in her tracks. “Excuse me?”

  “Where else are we going to have sex?” I asked incredulously.

  “I’m not a whore, Slade. I’m not doing that.”

  I eyed her up and down. “Well, you fooled me.”

  She hit my arm. “I’m being serious.”

  “Well, my dad will be awake until three in the morning. I can’t take you there. Roland and Conrad may have bought your disguise because it was dark but my dad is pretty smart. He might not buy it.”

  “And we can’t go to my dad’s.”

  I shook my head immediately. “Fuck that. I know he has a safe full of guns.”

  “I’m not going to a sleazy motel, Slade. Forget it.”

  I was disappointed but I tried to hide it. “Why?”

  “Because that’s what whores do.”

  “Look, we’re together. I’m not going to sleep with you and never call you again. It’s totally different. You know how I feel about you.”