You Are All I'll Ever Need Read online

  “I know you better than anyone. I know how pure your heart is.”

  I didn’t have a response to that. “I think finding out we were sleeping together for months would set him off. That’s the last thing I want.”

  “I know,” she said. “We’ll have to be better about it. You, mainly.”

  “I’ll try to figure something out. Maybe I can feed Cayson a lie and bait him.”

  “What do you mean?” she asked.

  “Introduce him to a fake girlfriend or something. Then he’ll get off my case.”

  “That sounds like an elaborate and complicated lie to carry out.”

  “Well, if it gets to the point where I have to, I will.”

  “Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.” She took a deep breath then released it slowly. “It’s hard to stress about it when you’re this relaxed.”

  “Yeah…” I rubbed her shoulders then her arms.

  “I could do this all day every day if I didn’t have any responsibilities.”

  “Well, you’re a billionaire so you could if you wanted to.”

  “No, my father is a billionaire. I’ll make my own way in life.” She rubbed my thighs gently, reciprocating the affection I was giving her. “My father got me an internship for Vogue magazine.”

  “Seriously?” I asked.

  “Yeah. I start when I graduate.”

  “Wow. That’s awesome, baby.”

  She stilled at my affectionate nickname. “I like it when you call me that.”

  “Then I’ll keep doing it.”

  We lay in the tub for another hour until the water started to grow cold. After we drained the water and dried off, we went to bed. Even though her bedroom was pink and girly, it was comfortable. Her sheets were made of sateen, and everything smelled like flowers.

  I pulled Trinity close to me, feeling the heat grow under the blankets. Trinity stared at me as she moved on top of me.

  I knew where this was going.

  I rolled her back down. “I just want to sleep.”

  “That’s it?” she asked incredulously.

  “Yeah.” My hand moved to her bare hip and felt the smooth skin.

  “Where’s the Slade I know?” she whispered.

  “I couldn’t tell you.” I hooked her leg over my waist and pulled her chest to mine. We were as close as possible.

  She stared at me in the darkness, her eyes searching mine. Her hair was scattered across the pillow, and the moonlight drifted through the window and illuminated her face. Her full lips were pink and kissable. Her eyes sparkled with their own light. “I never thought this would happen—not in a million years.”

  “Neither did I.” I gave her a gentle kiss before I pulled away. I couldn’t kiss her as much as I wanted to without getting carried away. Kissing in a library stopped me from taking her on the table, but lying naked in a bed was a different story. Trinity was the most beautiful woman I’ve ever had in my life. It was nearly impossible to resist her. “But I’m really glad it did.”

  ***

  We met in front of Trinity’s house before we hit the road. The driving arrangements were unclear. Since Cayson usually drove with Skye and Roland, I wasn’t sure if those plans would change.

  Trinity left her bags on the driveway and crossed her arms over her chest. She wore jeans and a yellow blouse. It was hard not to stare at her but I did my best to seem indifferent toward her beauty and existence.

  Roland leaned against the rear of the SUV. “How’s this going to work?”

  Skye had her arms across her chest. “Like it always has.”

  Roland looked at her incredulously. “Cayson is not going to sit in the same car as me. I can tell you that.”

  “You haven’t even seen each other since. Maybe he’s cooled off,” Skye argued.

  Roland laughed. “For knowing Cayson your whole life and sleeping with him, you don’t know him very well.”

  “I do, actually,” she snapped. “And he’s mature and understanding. He’s not going to make this into a big deal.”

  I didn’t agree with that. I hadn’t said a word to Roland since I found out what he did. He was my cousin but I was still pissed over the whole thing. But since it wasn’t my fight, I tried to stay out of it.

  Silke, Theo and Thomas arrived.

  “Are we carpooling in the same groups?” Silke asked when she got out of the car.

  “Yes,” Skye responded.

  “No,” Roland said.

  Silke nodded. “The war continues…” She turned to me. “You want to ride with me?”

  “Not even a little bit.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Go to hell.”

  “See you there.” I wanted to ride with Trinity. Even though I couldn’t be myself or touch her, I still wanted to be near her. If we sat in the very backseat, I could hold her hand. Or we could whisper to each other. Days like this made me want to confess what we were doing and just accept the consequences. I was getting tired of having to act like two different people all the time.

  Cayson pulled up in his car then got out.

  “Hey.” Skye embraced him with a kiss.

  Cayson returned her embrace then quickly pulled away. “I guess I’ll ride with Silke,” he said. “Baby, are you coming?”

  Skye’s eyes fell in sadness. “Cayson, don’t be ridiculous. You guys can sit in the same car together.”

  Cayson’s eyes were guarded and his face was stoic. He clearly didn’t want to argue about this in front of us. “Well, I’m riding with Silke.” He picked up his bag then headed to her car.

  Skye moved in his way. “Cayson, please stop.”

  He pulled her close and lowered his voice. “I’m not going to put you in the middle of this and I’m trying to not make it awkward for everyone else, so don’t argue with me right now.” He dropped his hand from her arm.

  I felt bad for Skye. I knew this was hard for her.

  She sighed, holding back all the words she wanted to say. “Okay.”

  “Who are you riding with?” It didn’t seem like he really cared.

  “I…”

  “Ride with your brother.” He walked to Silke’s car without another word.

  Skye looked like she wanted to cry.

  If Cayson was riding with Silke, then there was no reason for me to stay with Roland, unfortunately. I grabbed my bags and walked to my sister’s car.

  “It’s going to be so cramped with all five of us,” Silke said. “My car is tiny.”

  Any excuse to be with Trinity was good enough for me but I didn’t want to seem too eager. “I refuse to sit in a car with that asshole.”

  Roland heard me but didn’t react.

  Skye crossed her arms over her chest and sighed.

  Cayson stepped toward me. “I appreciate your loyalty but I really don’t want you to get in the middle of this. Roland is your cousin and I understand that.”

  “And you’re my brother.”

  He patted my shoulder. “I know but…just go with them, okay?”

  “Fine.” I headed back to the SUV and threw my luggage in the back.

  “Okay,” Conrad said. “Let’s head out.” He moved into the passenger seat.

  Skye stared at Cayson with sad eyes then got into the backseat with Trinity.

  When I got inside, I sat in the very back row.

  “It’ll be okay, Skye.” Trinity rubbed her shoulder.

  “I don’t want it to be like this…”

  “It’ll get better,” Trinity whispered. “Just give it time.”

  I stared at the back of Trinity’s head, wishing I were sitting next to her and holding her hand.

  ***

  Roland pulled up in front of my parents’ apartment in the city. “We’re going out tonight. You’re still down?”

  I didn’t have much of a choice. “Yeah.”

  “Alright. Meet us at Tilly’s at nine.” Roland waited for me to get out.

  “Whatever.” I got out without saying goodbye to Trinity
then grabbed my bags. Then I walked inside the building and headed to my apartment on the top floor. The last thing I wanted was to get a lap dance from a near naked whore. I used to like that but now…it just felt weird. Sitting in a room with a bunch of guys while they got hard watching a bunch of girls dance was awkward. I wouldn’t watch porn with my friends. Why is that any different?

  I walked inside then tossed my bags aside. “Honey, I’m home,” I called.

  My dad was sitting on the couch. When he spotted me, his eyes lit up and he smiled. “My little man.”

  “Little?”

  He stood up then hugged me. “You’re as tall as I am but you’ll always be little.”

  “Dad, we’re the same size.”

  He chuckled then pulled away. “I guess I still see you as a five-year-old boy playing with his dinosaurs on the hardwood floor.”

  “I still do that.”

  My dad laughed. “It wouldn’t surprise me.” He turned toward the hallway. “Baby, your boy is home.”

  “He is?” Her voice came from the other side of the apartment.

  The place they had was pretty nice. Floor-to-ceiling windows were in the living room and it showed the skyline of the city during the evening. Hardwood floors lined the entire place, and it had vaulted ceilings with original moldings. It had the square feet of an average house. I knew the place wasn’t cheap but my parents made an intimidating income together.

  My mom came into the living room, wearing a pencil skirt and blouse. She must have just got off work. Her blonde hair was pulled back into a clip and a golden necklace hung from her neck. She looked like a classy rich woman with the exception of the tattoo on her ring finger. That was the only wild side she showed in public.

  Her eyes lit up in joy when she looked at my face. My mother and I fought a lot when I was growing up, but she always seemed so happy to see me. I admit I was a terror and a horrible son as I aged. Girls came and went in the middle of the night, I was always getting ink on my skin, and I was the biggest smartass I knew. But, for some reason, she still loved me.

  She came to me then hugged me tightly. Even when she wore heels, she was a foot shorter than me. She pressed her face into my chest and squeezed me like I might slip away. “I’m so glad you’re home.”

  I returned her embrace before I pulled away. “I’m surprised you’re happy to see me. When I’m around, it seems like you hate me most of the time.”

  “I do.” She laughed. “You give me hell, kid.”

  I shrugged. “Someone’s got to do it.”

  “Oh, your father beat you to the punch.”

  My dad shrugged in guilt.

  She grabbed my shoulders and stared into my face. “Don’t you dare get a tattoo anywhere above your neck. You’re such a handsome boy and I want people to see that instead of all the dragons and bees that plague your skin.”

  “That sounded like a compliment…but not at the same time.”

  She smiled. “Take it as you will. Now where’s my little girl?”

  “She’ll be here any minute.”

  “Good. We need to go shopping.”

  “Count me out,” I said immediately.

  “Who’s going to hold our bags?” she asked.

  “Dad is pussy-whipped. Ask him.”

  My dad shrugged in guilt again.

  “I’m sure your father would rather do something manly with you.”

  “Who wouldn’t?”

  She moved to her tiptoes then kissed my cheek. “I miss you so much. Somehow, it gets harder and harder every time you come home.”

  As much as I hated to admit it, I missed her too. I missed living with them and growing up in the city. Despite the fights and disagreements, the apartment was full of love. My parents were good people, and I was lucky to have them. “I missed you too.”

  Her eyes softened. “Oh, my baby.” She hugged me again.

  My dad rolled his eyes. “She’s going to start crying in a second.”

  She sniffed. “Leave me alone.”

  He rubbed her back gently until she regained her composure. Then he gently pulled her away. “Come on, baby. Let him breathe.”

  She moved to his arms then stuck to him like glue.

  I grabbed my bags then placed them in my room. It was exactly as I left it, but it was squeaky clean. My mom had the habit of fumigating it every time I left. She usually found my stash of weed and tossed it in the garbage. I just went out and bought more.

  When I thought my parents weren’t being mushy-mushy anymore, I went back into the living room. “Dad, let’s go get a beer.”

  He lowered his hand from my mom. “I want to wait until Silke gets here. I really want to see her.”

  “She’s annoying and ugly—just like the last time you saw her.”

  He chuckled. “You remind me so much of myself it’s scary.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I was so mean to my sister. Actually, I still am.”

  “Isn’t that my sole purpose as a brother? To torture my sister?”

  “And to protect her and love her…”

  I shook my head. “Nah.”

  Silke opened the front door and dropped her bags on the ground. “Yes, I know. I just made your day a million times better.”

  My dad forgot about me then embraced her. “Hey, kid. I’m glad you’re home.”

  I always thought I was his favorite because I was a boy and we had so much in common, but when I saw him with my sister, I realized he loved her in just the same way. His eyes lit up just like they did for me.

  “The drive was good?” my dad asked.

  “Nobody died so I think so.”

  He laughed. “Your mom is so excited you’re home. She said she wants to go shopping.”

  “Mom buying me clothes…I’m down with that.”

  My dad gave her a fond look. “You look nice, Silke. Did you do something with your hair?”

  “I cut it and added layers.” She moved her fingers through her brown strands.

  “It looks good.”

  I knew my dad tried to find commonalities with her. It was easy for me because we had the same interests, but it was more difficult with her. But at least he tried.

  My mom came back into the room. “My little girl.” She embraced her the same way.

  I rolled my eyes. “Why does it have to be a soap opera every time we come home?”

  “I know.” Silke moved out of her arms. “We just saw you a few weeks ago.”

  “It feels like forever,” my father said seriously.

  “We just love having you around.” My mom hugged her again.

  “Well, who doesn’t?” Silke said sarcastically. “We’re the coolest people in the world. Well, I don’t know about Slade…but I am.”

  “I’m way cooler than you,” I jabbed. “You’re hideous.”

  “We’re twins, you idiot.”

  “Not identical, gorilla.”

  She rolled her eyes then looked at my mom. “I heard through the grapevine we’re going shopping.”

  “You heard right. Are you ready?”

  Silke grabbed her purse from the floor. “Totally ready.”

  “Alright. Let’s go,” my mom said. “We can have dinner at that Chinese place.”

  “Ooooh,” Silke said. “Yeah.”

  My dad opened the door for them. Then he leaned toward my mom. “Be careful.”

  “I’ll be fine, Ryan.” She said it like she said it a hundred times.

  “Okay.” He kissed her softly on the lips then pulled away.

  “See ya, Dad.” Silke gave him a high-five on her way out.

  After my dad shut the door, he looked at me. “What should we do?”

  “Actually, Roland and Conrad wanted to get into trouble in the city tonight.”

  Disappointment filled his eyes but he hid it.

  “But, we can do something before then,” I said quickly.

  “You see them all the time. Do you ever get tired of them?” h
e asked with a laugh.

  Actually, I’d rather spend the weekend with my dad. He was a parent but he was a friend too. But I had to make an appearance at the stupid strip club, which I wasn’t looking forward to. “I get tired of them all the time. But I promised I would go.”

  “Strip club?”

  He knew me so well. “Yeah. You want to come?”

  He shook his head immediately. “Not my style.”

  “Mom has you on a tight leash, huh?” I nudged him in the side.

  “You’ve seen your mother. Why would I go to a strip club when I have her?”

  I cringed. “Too much info, Dad. You want to head to Mega Shake? I could use a good meal.”

  “I’m always down for a burger.” He grabbed his jacket then we headed out. We walked a few blocks until we reached the diner.

  We walked inside, and the heavenly smell came into my nose.

  “Dude, I could eat here every day.”

  “Ditto.” He stared at the menu with his arms over his chest. “I’m getting a chocolate shake.”

  “That makes two of us.”

  We ordered our food then sat down in a booth. A few people were in the diner but it was quiet. My family had been coming here since I could remember. Sometimes it seemed out of place for Manhattan but I guess that’s what made it special.

  “Your aunt Scarlet and I used to eat here every day after school.” He ate his burger in just a few bites.

  “Didn’t you grow up in Seattle?” I’m surprised I even remembered that.

  “So you do listen to me?” he teased. “Yes, there’s a Mega Shake there.”

  “So, are they a franchise?”

  “No. Uncle Sean and Aunt Scarlet opened this one.”

  What? I never knew that. “Wait, I don’t remember that coming up.”

  He shrugged. “I guess I forgot to mention it.”

  “So, they run it?” I asked.

  “No. Your Uncle Sean donated it to a guy who lost his restaurant under the condition he ran it exactly as Uncle Sean wanted. So, that’s what happened.”

  “He just gave it away?” I asked incredulously.

  “Your uncle has a million other things to do besides run a burger joint,” he said sarcastically.

  “But he could have hired a manager to oversee it while he kept the money,” I argued.

  “Sean is one of the most generous men I know. He doesn’t want more money. If anything, he wants less.”