You Are All I'll Ever Need Read online

  Even though we risked being caught at any moment, I didn’t care. The time flew by until my lips were chapped. I was parched and hungry, and even then I didn’t want to stop.

  When Slade finally pulled away, he glanced at his watch. “I missed my class. It’s already over.” He chuckled.

  “Oh no, I missed mine too.”

  We both looked at each other.

  Then I shrugged. “Oh well.” And I kissed him some more.

  He pulled me to his chest harder and continued to embrace me for the next hour. We missed another class but neither one of us cared.

  Chapter Twelve

  Slade

  After I picked up Trinity, we went out to dinner at a pizzeria. We didn’t go to a fancy restaurant again. That wasn’t me and she knew it. The fact she didn’t care about a ridiculously expensive meal made me like her a lot more. I didn’t care about spending money on her, I had plenty of it, I just didn’t like the atmosphere. I felt like I was under a microscope, every wrong move I made noticed by everyone.

  Trinity sat across from me, wearing a purple blouse and silver earrings. I really liked it when she wore that color. It brought out her eyes. I remembered what Cayson told me. Every time I thought she was beautiful, I should say it. “You look pretty.”

  She looked up from her menu. “Thanks.”

  I could tell she was surprised every time I said it. “Purple is a nice color on you.”

  Her cheeks tinted slightly. “Thanks…”

  I had a hard time understanding why she was immune to her perfection. Every girl in the room had nothing on her. “You want to split one?”

  “As long as it’s huge. I want leftovers.”

  “Sounds good to me. Combination with artichokes?”

  “Yeah,” she said excitedly.

  She and I liked the same pizza, but she had to have artichokes on hers. I never cared for them, but I could pick around them.

  Trinity stared at me for a while, her eyes taking me in.

  “You like what you see?” I gave her a cocky smirk.

  “Yes…but I was thinking something else.”

  “And what was your small brain thinking about?” I went back to normal after she told me she liked me the way I was. It was easy to be myself around her now. All I had to do was show her I cared and that was enough.

  “Can I ask you something?”

  “You just did,” I said like a smartass.

  She ignored the jab. “Slade, why did you do all that stuff last week?”

  “What?” I asked.

  “You know, the dinner, the suit, the manners, the ordering…the whole thing. Honestly, I didn’t know you knew most of that stuff.”

  “I didn’t.”

  “Then how did you do it?”

  “I did a lot of research.” I was a little embarrassed about it.

  Her eyes softened. “You did all that just for me?”

  I nodded. “When I told you I would try, I meant it.”

  “I know but…it was really sweet.”

  I averted my gaze and rested my elbows on the table.

  Trinity reached her hand across then rested her fingers on my forearm. A tattoo of a scorpion was etched across the skin. She rubbed her fingers against it gently. I didn’t do public affection with her but since we didn’t know anyone there it didn’t bother me. My hand grabbed hers and I interlocked our fingers together.

  “Your hands are so small,” I whispered.

  “I think yours are just big,” she said with a laugh.

  I stared at her nails. “Your hands look nice.”

  “Thanks.”

  I imagined her nails digging into my back when we had sex. We hadn’t hit the sheets for a while. For the first time, it didn’t bother me. I wanted her to know that I wasn’t only with her for sex. I enjoyed being with her, talking to her, spending time with her, and holding her. Trinity acted like she was detached and didn’t care about being used, but now that I knew her better, I knew it was a lie. Now that I cared about her so much, I didn’t want to hurt her. And I certainly didn’t want to lose her. “How’s Memoirs of a Geisha?”

  “Good. I like it a lot, actually. How’s Moby Dick?”

  “Awesome.”

  She smiled. “I’m glad you like it.”

  “Yeah, I guess reading fiction is pretty entertaining—and you still learn.”

  “I love living the lives of other people. I feel like I’ve lived and died a thousand times.”

  My eyes narrowed on her face.

  “What?” she whispered.

  “You love fashion and paint your nails every day, but you’re so deep at the same time. And really intelligent.”

  She smirked. “You sound surprised.”

  “I’m just surprised I didn’t notice before.” I rubbed my thumb over her knuckles. “I’ve never known a smart girl who was also gorgeous.”

  She glared at me. “Your cousin, Skye…”

  I waved my hand. “She doesn’t count.”

  “Yes, she does. And what about your sister?”

  “She’s an idiot.”

  She kicked me gently under the table. “Slade.”

  I laughed. “Okay, she’s pretty and smart too…not like you though.”

  “And you aren’t as dumb as you try to project.”

  I brought a finger to my lip and hushed her. “Don’t tell anyone.”

  She giggled. “I’ll keep your secret.”

  I stared at her bright eyes and noticed how they stared back at me. When she looked at me, she saw all of me. She didn’t see the endless lines I fed the girls. She knew my every flaw and my every strength. Despite my past and my shortcomings, she still wanted to be around me. When I basked in the moment, I realized having a girlfriend wouldn’t be so bad. It was pretty nice, actually. Maybe we could be that someday…

  When the front doors opened, I glanced at the people who walked inside. I saw a couple that looked a lot like Cayson and Skye. Then I turned back to Trinity.

  Wait. What? I did a double take and looked back at them. “Shit.”

  “What?” Trinity pulled her hand away, alarmed.

  “Cayson and Skye are here. They are going to sit down any second.”

  Her eyes widened in panic. “What do we do?”

  I did the only thing I could under the time restraint. I ducked under the table and hid my body beneath the tablecloth. Trinity pulled her legs up and sat cross legged so I had more room underneath. Wads of gum covered the underside of the table. My heart was beating so fast it hurt. I knew Cayson and Skye would notice Trinity and come over to talk to her. What would Trinity say? Would they see me?

  “Trinity?” Skye asked. Her feet stopped at the table. I could see her flats underneath the tablecloth. Cayson’s big feet stopped next to hers. “What are you doing here?”

  Fuck, this was bad.

  “I…I have a date,” Trinity said apprehensively.

  “You do?” Skye asked in surprise. “With who?”

  “This guy I met…online. It’s a blind date.” Her pitch was higher than normal.

  Cayson shifted his weight. “Where is he?”

  “Well, I’ve been waiting for a while…maybe I got stood up,” Trinity said.

  I had to give Trinity props. She could think on her feet.

  “No way,” Skye said. “A guy would be stupid to stand you up.”

  “Maybe he came in and saw me then left.” Trinity’s knee was shaking.

  “Impossible,” Cayson said.

  “Well, if you’re going to sit alone, we’ll join you,” Skye offered.

  Oh no. I pulled myself closer to the wall so their legs wouldn’t touch my body.

  “No, it’s okay,” Trinity said immediately. “You guys enjoy your date. Don’t mind me. I’m fine.” She said her words so fast they were incoherent.

  “Shut up, Trinity,” Skye said. “We aren’t leaving you here alone after a jerk stood you up.”

  “We really don’t mind.” Cayson moved
into the booth.

  I pulled my knees to my chest and avoided touching him.

  Skye slid into the booth next.

  Their hands immediately intertwined under the table. Cayson’s thumb moved over her skin the way mine did when I was holding Trinity’s hand.

  I guess I’d be stuck like this until they left. Great.

  Trinity’s hands rested in her lap. She was fidgeting because she was nervous.

  I grabbed one hand and held it with my own, comforting her the only way I could.

  Her hand clutched mine for dear life. If they knew I was under table, there would be no way to hide what we were doing. There would be no other explanation of why I wasn’t showing my face. We’d be screwed.

  They made small talk then ordered their food. The smell made its way under the table and my stomach rumbled. Luckily, the music and conversation drowned out the sound.

  “You know what Cayson told me the other day?” Skye said.

  “What?” Trinity asked.

  “When he was at Slade’s apartment, he noticed a book called, How to be a Good Boyfriend for Dummies. And there were notes written everywhere.” Skye laughed. “Cayson and I think he has a girlfriend.”

  God fucking damn it.

  “Really?” Trinity tried to play it cool. “Slade? I don’t know…”

  “He’s been acting weird for months,” Cayson said. “You’ve noticed it, right?”

  Well, at least he didn’t suspect Trinity was the woman I was with. That was something to be grateful for.

  “Well, he’s always weird,” Trinity said. “I think you guys are reading into it way too much. I bet you anything Slade is trying to sleep with a really hot girl but she won’t put out unless he commits. So he’s trying to act like he can be a great boyfriend to convince her. Then when she gives him what he wants, he’ll take off.”

  That was a good one.

  “But Slade doesn’t deceive people,” Cayson argued. “He’s always honest.”

  Damn, why did he have to know me so well?

  “Maybe this is one exception,” Trinity said. “And he didn’t tell you because he doesn’t want you to judge him.”

  Good, Trinity.

  Cayson didn’t seem convinced. “I don’t know…I’ve known Slade my whole life and I know when something is off. Something is definitely off.”

  I wanted to kick him in the knee.

  Trinity kept up her argument. “Slade wouldn’t hide anything from you. If he had a girlfriend, he would tell you.”

  Cayson’s voice changed, becoming low and lifeless. “I thought the same thing. But…he’s different. We tell each other everything and knowing he’s keeping something from me hurts. It makes me wonder if I did something to mess up our relationship. Or maybe he doesn’t trust me…I’m not sure.”

  Now I felt like a jackass.

  “There’s no way,” Trinity said. “Slade loves you as much as he always has.”

  “Let’s not talk about love,” Cayson said. “We aren’t those kind of friends.”

  “Shut up, Cayson,” Skye said. “You know you love him.”

  “Yeah,” Cayson admitted. “I guess I do. That’s why I worry about him so much. I just wish he would come to me so I can help him out. He seemed to be confused about the whole relationship thing. I could have given him better advice if I’d known he was looking for it.”

  “He asked you about relationships?” Trinity questioned.

  I squeezed her hand, confirming her question silently.

  “Just about how to treat a girl…stuff like that,” Cayson explained.

  “I’m sure it was just to score with some babe.” Trinity brushed it off like nothing.

  They finished dinner then paid the bill. Cayson paid for the whole thing, like always.

  “Ready?” Trinity asked. “I’m ready to head home and sulk in a bath.”

  “Don’t let that loser bother you,” Skye said. “He’s just a…”

  Their voices trailed off as they left the table.

  I stayed put, not wanting to leave too soon. Then I poked my head out and saw them walk out. I took the opportunity to hightail it into the bathroom. I closed the stall and stood there, waiting for Trinity to text me. I drove here so she didn’t have a car. She’d have to find an excuse to come back inside.

  My phone went off. Where are you?

  Men’s bathroom.

  They are gone.

  You’re sure?

  I watched them drive away.

  I walked out and met her in the restaurant.

  She had an irritated look in her eyes. “We shouldn’t have come here. We know Skye’s favorite is pizza.”

  “But she never talks about this place. I didn’t think she’d eat here,” I argued.

  “Let’s just go before someone else walks in.”

  ***

  When we were inside her house, I finally started to relax.

  “So, they think you have a girlfriend?” Trinity sighed. “That’s not good.”

  “At least they have no idea it’s you,” I argued. “So, that’s something to be thankful for.”

  “You need to throw Cayson off.”

  “How?” I asked.

  “I don’t know…pretend to hook up with someone. Feed him a false story.”

  That’s the last thing I wanted to do. “Trinity—”

  “Just do it. They aren’t going to look too hard into it.”

  “Fine.”

  She put her hands on her hips. “And you bought a boyfriend book for dummies?”

  My face was turning red. “Don’t give me shit about it, okay?”

  She knew to back off. “I think it’s cute…”

  “You do?” I lifted an eyebrow.

  She came closer to me then rubbed my shoulders. “It was really sweet.”

  At least she wasn’t going to make fun of me for it. “Thanks…”

  She dropped her hands then headed to the kitchen. “You must be hungry. I can make you something.”

  “I’m fine. Don’t worry about it.”

  “Are you sure? I don’t mind.”

  “Really.” I walked into the bathroom then shut the door. I’d never made a bath before but I wanted to make one now. Whenever she and I held each other under the water, my stress seemed to ebb away. I turned on the nozzle and got the water going. Then I added the bath salts.

  I walked outside and saw her in the living room. “Where do you keep your candles?”

  “Why?”

  “Just answer me.”

  “In the third drawer. I hope you didn’t stink up the place…”

  I rolled my eyes then shut the door. I lit the candles then pulled out my phone. I knew she liked jazz music so I hit a playlist. When everything was ready, I opened the door. “Come here.”

  “Why?”

  I glared at her. “Why do you have to question everything I do?”

  “Because I’m not stupid and don’t blindly follow orders.”

  “Get your ass over here now,” I commanded.

  Suspicion came into her eyes for a moment then she joined me in the bathroom. When she saw the bath and the candles, she grinned. “What a nice surprise.”

  I pulled my clothes off and stripped down.

  “I thought baths were gross?” she questioned.

  “Well, I like being gross with you.” I pulled her clothes off and tried not to get too excited. My cock couldn’t be controlled, however, and it grew the moment I saw her chest.

  She eyed it. “I feel bad for him. He must be frustrated…”

  “He’s perfectly fine.” I got into the tub first then she moved in front of me.

  “Then your hand must be exhausted…”

  “I haven’t jerked off in…I can’t even remember the last time I did it.”

  She rested her head against my chest then looked up at me. “Really?”

  “Not since you came into my life.” I hooked my arm around her waist and positioned her against me. “Why would I w
hen I have a gorgeous woman who can’t get enough of me?” I kissed her shoulder.

  She closed her eyes and moaned quietly. “I love it when you’re sweet to me…”

  I kissed her shoulder again then her neck. “And I love making you happy.”

  “You do make me happy.” She opened her eyes then rested her hands over mine. The candles created a dim glow and released a sweet scent into the air. Her fingers moved across my forearms. “I hope this can grow into something more one day…”

  I hadn’t given it too much thought because I didn’t want to make myself panic. I was still warming up to the idea of being her boyfriend. Anything beyond that would give me a stroke. But if I had to choose between committing and losing her, I knew what my choice would be. “I do too.”

  One hand moved to my thigh and massaged the muscle. “I’m really scared we’re going to get caught, Slade. It’s the last thing we need right now.”

  “I know…it scares me too.”

  “Sometimes I think we should just tell them but…”

  “I really don’t want to deal with your father.”

  She fell silent for a while.

  “I love him as my uncle and respect him as a person, but I’m not sure how he would feel if he knew I was dating you.”

  “What do you mean?” she whispered.

  “We both know I’m not Prince Charming. I’m barely passing my classes and all I want to do is ink for a living and play music. I’m not exactly every man’s choice for his daughter. And he knows the type of guy I am. I doubt he would ever approve of me.”

  “My father loves you, Slade.”

  “I know he does…but in a very different way.”

  “If I told him you were the person I wanted to be with, he would accept it.”

  “I really don’t think so.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “There would be a lot of drama and a lot of fighting. I would rather not go through it unless we…know we really want each other.”

  She adjusted herself in front of me, getting comfortable. “My dad’s opinion means a lot to me, Slade. But if he didn’t like you, I wouldn’t listen to him.”

  “Really?”