You Are All I'll Ever Need Read online

  Slade stood on the other side, but I almost didn’t recognize him. He wore a black suit with a gray tie. The tattoos on his arms were hidden under the sleeves, and his dress shoes were shiny and new. I’d never seen him wear a suit, but he wore it like it was made for him. It fit his shoulders perfectly, making them look broad and strong. He held himself like wearing a suit was something he was used to.

  In his hands was a vase of red roses. There were a dozen, and white winter flowers were dispersed between them. They were beautiful and bright. “For the lady.” He held them out to me.

  My jaw dropped so far I thought my mouth broke. Words left me and I didn’t know what to say. “Thank you…” I took them from him and felt how heavy they were.

  “I know you love flowers.” He put his hands in his pockets while he stared at me with his blue eyes. They were dark and unreadable. Then he leaned in and kissed me gently on the mouth. “I’d love to take you to dinner.”

  Was this Slade? Or was I dreaming this? “Uh…”

  “Please.”

  The butterflies in my stomach had just turned into fire-breathing dragons. “I’d love to.” I stepped inside then tried to find a place to put the vase. Slade came behind me and shut the door.

  I decided to put them on the coffee table. “That way I can look at them all the time.”

  He nodded. “Excellent choice.”

  I came back to him, unsure how to even react around him. This was a new Slade I wasn’t used to.

  “I made reservations at Le Chatif.”

  “That Italian place in Boston?” I knew it because my father took me there a few times.

  “The very one. Are you ready to go?”

  I’m assuming that was his polite way of asking me to change. I was wearing a pair of boxers he left over here and a hoodie. “Uh, I need to change.”

  “Take your time. I’ll wait here.” He sat down on the couch and crossed his ankle at the knee.

  I stared at him for a second, surprised by his stunning mannerisms.

  Slade lifted an eyebrow as he looked at me. “Yes?”

  I shook my head slightly. “Nothing. I’ll be right back.” I went to my room then shut the door.

  Oh my god. I can’t believe this is happening. Slade is…a gentleman. I never thought it was possible.

  I opened my closet and put an outfit together in two seconds. My wardrobe was organized by color and style so I knew where everything was. I touched up my make up and fixed my hair before I walked back into the living room.

  Slade stood up then eyed me. “You look beautiful.”

  He never said it like that before. It was different. “Thanks…”

  He extended his arm for me to take. “Are you ready?”

  I still couldn’t believe this. “Yeah.” I took his arm.

  Slade walked me out of the house and to his car. To my ultimate surprise, he opened the car door for me and waited for me to get inside before he closed it.

  I could get used to this.

  He got into the driver’s seat then started the car. “Let me know if it’s too cold or hot for you.”

  “Sure.”

  He headed to the road and kept the music off. He normally had it on full blast to the point where he couldn’t hear me speak. But now he didn’t touch it. “How was your day?”

  This was getting weirder and weirder… “It was okay. How about you?”

  He shrugged. “I’m not too happy with Roland right now.”

  I heard all about it. “Skye isn’t either.”

  “He’s lucky I haven’t hunted him down.”

  His comment surprised me. “Don’t you think that’s a little hypocritical?”

  “What do you mean?” His voice was always the same, the same level and tone. Normally, he blurted out words and became loud and passionate.

  “Well, you’re sleeping with me. Don’t you think that’s breaking a code to Conrad?”

  He kept his eyes on the road. “It’s not the same thing and you know it, Trinity.”

  I didn’t see how they were different. He was using me for sex just the way Roland used Jasmine. I wasn’t sure of his meaning but I didn’t press the subject.

  When we arrived at the restaurant, the valet took the car.

  “Thank you.” Slade slipped him money like he’d done it a hundred times. Then he put his arm around my waist and escorted me inside.

  “Reservation?” the host asked.

  “Slade,” he answered.

  The man looked at his notes. “Right this way, sir.” He grabbed the menus and guided us to a secluded table near the window.

  When we reached it, Slade caught me by surprise by pulling out my chair for me. I stilled, unsure what to do. Then I sat down and let him push the chair in. Slade sat across from me and ordered wine for both of us.

  “You drink wine?” I asked in surprise.

  “Sometimes.” He opened the menu and crossed his legs again.

  It was going to take me a while to get used to this side of him.

  “Anything look good to you?” he asked.

  I browsed through the menu. “The chicken piccata sounds good. What are you getting?”

  “The risotto steak.”

  I was surprised he wasn’t going to order pizza. “That sounds good too.”

  When the waitress approached us, Slade ordered for us both. He didn’t falter at any point, acting like this was something he’d done a thousand times. When the waitress walked away, he turned his gaze on me.

  “Slade…what’s going on?”

  “I don’t understand your meaning.” He kept talking properly. He didn’t curse or use slang. He swirled his wine then sipped it like a professional wine taster.

  “You’re being…different.”

  “I just wanted to take you out to dinner.” He changed the subject. “Do you like the wine?”

  “It’s good.” I took another sip.

  Slade kept his back straight while he sat in the chair. I’d never seen him not slouch before. It was weird. “How was breakfast with your dad last week? You never told me about it.”

  And there was a reason why. “It was good. Nothing interesting happened.” Or nothing I was willing to share.

  “Are you excited for the anniversary party?”

  “I’m always excited to go home and see my family.”

  “Me too.”

  “But you just saw them, right?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “You just saw them a few weeks ago…”

  Realization came into his eyes. “Yes…yes I did. Well, I want to see them again.”

  Something was off in his response. “Slade?”

  “Yes?”

  “I get the feeling you didn’t really go to California with your dad…but I don’t understand why you would lie to me about it.”

  For the first time that evening, he couldn’t look me in the eye. He rested one hand on the table. A small portion of his tattoos could be seen past his sleeve. Slade drummed his fingers on the table quietly. “You’re right. I didn’t go.”

  “Then why did you lie?”

  “Because…I can’t tell you where I was.”

  Slade was never quiet about his business. He didn’t have secrets—other than me. “You were with Cayson, weren’t you?” There was no way they both left campus for a weekend and the events had nothing to do with each other.

  He turned his gaze back to me but didn’t confirm or deny it.

  “Slade, it’s me. You can tell me.”

  “Baby, I can’t.”

  He used that word again. Baby. No one had ever called me that before. I think I liked it. “Why?”

  “I promised him I wouldn’t tell anyone. And I never make a promise I can’t keep.”

  There was only one reason they would lie about their whereabouts. “He’s hiding something from Skye.”

  “Whatever you think he’s doing behind her back, he’s not,” he said immediately. “I promise.”
r />   “Then why won’t you tell me what it is?”

  “Like I said, I made a promise to my best friend.”

  Skye was my best friend. Should I tell her what I knew?

  “Please don’t say anything to her,” he asked quietly. “It’s very important that you don’t.”

  “As long as you promise me Cayson isn’t doing something behind her back that would make me kick him in the nuts.”

  “I promise,” he said without hesitation.

  That was good enough for me. “Okay.”

  “Thank you.”

  The food arrived and Slade ate like he’d been eating in fancy restaurants his entire life. It was second nature to him. Whenever he ate in the library, he stuffed half a burrito down his throat then chewed it while talking. I didn’t think he had the capability to take a small bite and chew.

  “How’s your food?” he asked.

  “Good. Yours?”

  “Excellent.”

  We ate quietly for the rest of the meal. Like always, I couldn’t finish mine.

  “Looks like you have something to munch on in the middle of the night,” he noted.

  “I do like to snack.”

  When the bill came, Slade immediately put the cash inside. “I don’t need the change.”

  ‘Thank you, sir.”

  “But my date would like a to-go box.”

  “Of course, sir.” She boxed my food then left it on the table.

  “Are you ready to go?” he asked.

  “Sure.”

  He helped me out of the chair then carried my food back outside. After he got his car from the valet, we headed back to my house. He was quiet on the drive and the music was off just like before.

  When we pulled into my driveway, he walked me to the door.

  I immediately walked inside and heard him follow me.

  “Well, I had a good time tonight.”

  I turned around. “Me too.”

  He cupped my face and gave me a gentle kiss. It wasn’t aggressive like it normally was. “Do you have plans on Saturday?”

  “No.”

  “Can I take you out again?”

  “You don’t need to ask, Slade.”

  He nodded then headed to the door. “Good night.”

  Whoa…what? “Where are you going?”

  “Home.”

  “Why aren’t you staying?”

  “Because I loved spending time with you tonight. And I don’t want sex from you.”

  My eyes softened when I looked at him. Slade went above and beyond to make me feel special tonight. It was something I never expected him to do. When he said he would try, I didn’t know what that meant. But I guess it meant a lot to him.

  “Come here,” I said quietly.

  He came back over the threshold and closed the door behind him.

  I grabbed his jacket and yanked it off. Then I undid his tie and shirt. “Slade, I appreciate everything you did tonight. I had a really great time and it was nice to go out. But I don’t want you to be perfect.”

  He lifted an eyebrow but didn’t say anything.

  “I want you—exactly as you are.” I cupped his cheeks and looked into his face. “I love the spunk and attitude you have. You argue with me, but in truth, I actually like it. You’re real with me and you don’t hold anything back. I like seeing the tattoos on your arms. You hate hiding them so don’t start now.

  “If I wanted a perfect and stiff guy, I would have picked Reid. But I don’t. I want the man who’s become my best friend. I want the man that I picked even though it defies all logic. I want the heat, the passion, and the stubbornness that you possess. There are so many things I hate about you…but in truth…I also love them.”

  His eyes softened when he stared into mine. “I want to give you whatever you want, Trinity. But knowing you like me for me is…the most meaningful thing anyone has ever said to me. My whole life, I’ve been told to be different, that I should be smart and gentle like Cayson. I’ve been told to be more ambitious and determined like Skye. I’ve been asked to dress better like Roland. I’ve been asked to be more polite like my sister. My whole life, I’ve been told I’m just a punk who’s selfish and doesn’t care about anyone but himself. You’re the first person who knows that isn’t true…and sees me for who I really am.” He took a deep breath and his eyes watered slightly. When he blinked, the emotion went away like it never happened. “And you actually like me as I am.”

  I opened his shirt then moved my lips to the skin over his heart. I placed a gentle kiss there before I leaned my head against his chest and wrapped my arms around his waist.

  Slade hooked his arms around me then rested his chin on my head. His hand moved up and down my back, touching me gently. “I’m so glad I didn’t lose you.”

  “I am too…”

  Slade moved his lips to my forehead then kissed me. He held it for a long moment then pulled away.

  My heart skipped a beat. I leaned back and looked up at him, unable to process what he just did. No one had ever kissed me on the forehead like that. And Slade was the last person I expected to be the first.

  “What?” he whispered.

  “Nothing…”

  He moved his hand up my neck then to the back of my hair. He fisted it while he kissed me in the doorway. He held it for a long time, just feeling his lips move against mine. It was a kiss we never had before. This time it wasn’t sexual and neither one of us wanted to go to the bedroom. We just kissed, enjoying the feel of our mouths moving together. Slade didn’t seem anxious for more. It seemed to be all he wanted.

  And it was all I wanted.

  ***

  “So…any progress with Roland?” I asked.

  Skye sighed. “No.” Her glasses were on and her books were scattered around her. She was one of the few beautiful geeks I knew.

  “Cayson isn’t budging, huh?”

  “He’s really hurt by the whole thing.”

  “I didn’t realize Jasmine meant so much to him…”

  Skye didn’t look at me. “Well, she does.” Resentment was in her voice.

  “You know he doesn’t have feelings for her, right?”

  Skye’s eyes moved to mine. “I know, Trinity.”

  “I just wanted to make sure. And even if he did, nothing he feels for her compares to what he feels for you. She has nothing on you.”

  “I know that too. Cayson seems to be more upset about the fact Roland took advantage of her. But if you ask me, and don’t you dare tell Cayson I said this, she seems like a girl that wants to be taken advantage of…if you know what I mean.”

  Actually, I did. And I could relate to it. “Yeah, I do.”

  “In that regard, Cayson shouldn’t be too hard on Roland. But, at the same time, I understand why Cayson feels betrayed.”

  “Man, I feel bad for you.”

  “I know, right? This is my brother we’re talking about. I can’t possibly be with someone who can’t be in the same room as him—even if his hatred is founded.”

  “I wouldn’t worry about that. They’ll figure out their differences eventually. Just let Cayson cool off for a little bit.”

  “Well, Slade isn’t helping,” she said bitterly. “He gets Cayson all fired up every time he sees him.”

  I guess I could say something to him.

  Cayson reached our table then sat next to Skye. “Looking beautiful like always.” He eyed her glasses then kissed the bridge of her nose.

  “Looking like a Greek god like always,” she said with a flirtatious smile.

  They had this ritual every time they saw each other. Even though they woke up to each other’s faces every morning, they still acted excited to see one another.

  I concentrated on my magazine so I wouldn’t throw up. Slade hadn’t arrived yet and I thought that was odd. He was usually here by now.

  My phone vibrated and Slade’s name came on the screen. Move ten rows back then turn left into the historical section.

  What the hell? W
hy?

  Just do it.

  I lifted an eyebrow then put my phone away. “I’m going to grab a snack before class.” I grabbed my stuff and placed it in my bag.

  The lovebirds didn’t hear me. Cayson said something to her, his lips practically touching hers.

  “Whatever,” I said. “Bye.”

  I moved ten aisles down then made a left like I was told. I was lost in a sea of bookshelves and dusty hardbacks. The library was so expansive that it was easy to get lost inside. Honestly, you could hide out here all night and security would never find you. I kept going and searched for Slade.

  When I didn’t see him, I assumed I was lost. I pulled out my phone and texted him. I’m so lost.

  “Over here,” he whispered.

  I turned to see him standing between two bookshelves. “What are you up to?”

  “Stop talking and come here.”

  I squeezed between the shelves then followed him to a table. Four bookshelves were housed around it, making it private and difficult to see. There was only one opening to it. “I didn’t know this was here.”

  “There are a few in the library.” He sat down then patted his knee, beckoning me to sit down.

  I raised an eyebrow. “What are you doing?”

  He grabbed my hips then yanked me down, forcing me to straddle his thighs. “I want to kiss you.”

  “Can it wait until we’re behind closed doors?”

  “No, it’s more fun this way.” He pushed my purse off my shoulder then pulled me close.

  “It’s risky…”

  “I like risk.” He moved his hands up my shirt and rested them on the skin over my ribs. He leaned forward and pressed his chest against mine. Then he sucked my bottom lip, getting me in the mood instantly.

  “Okay. You convinced me.”

  “Good. Because I have an hour before class and this is all I want to do.”

  “Not eat or get laid?”

  “No.” He pulled me as close as possible then sealed his lips around mine. For the next hour, he kissed me softly, giving me full and purposeful kisses. He never grabbed my chest or stuck his hand down my pants. All he did was hold me and touch me, his erection noticeable under my ass. He breathed hard while he kissed me, and quiet moans escaped his lips.

  My arms hooked around his neck and I kissed him with as much fervor. Every touch he gave me lit me on fire. I loved sex with him, but the kissing was amazing. No guy ever wanted to meet me in a library just to kiss me. They always wanted something more, skipping all the bases and heading directly to home plate. Slade could score whenever he wanted, but he didn’t seem to care. All he wanted to do was kiss me.