You Are All I'll Ever Need Read online

  Skye called me later that night. She must have noticed I was gone. I didn’t answer it because I wasn’t in the mood. It went to voicemail. A minute later, she called again. Again, I didn’t answer. Then she messaged me.

  Where are you?

  She was obviously concerned so I couldn’t ignore her. I’m at home.

  Why?

  I wasn’t sure if I should tell her about Roland. It was obviously a conflict of interest. Whose side would she take? I didn’t want to put her in the middle of it. But she would find out from someone else eventually. I’m under the weather and want to be alone.

  Cayson, what’s wrong?

  Nothing. I just need space.

  You’re scaring me.

  I’m fine. Go to bed and I’ll talk to you in the morning.

  I’m coming over.

  I sighed in annoyance. Skye, leave me alone. I’m being serious.

  She didn’t respond.

  I knew she was on her way.

  A few minutes later, she used her key to get inside my apartment. When she spotted me sitting on the couch, she immediately moved into my lap and straddled my hips. Concern shined in her eyes when she looked at me. Her hands moved to my shoulders. “Cayson, what’s going on?”

  I wouldn’t look at her. “Skye, I asked you not to come over.”

  “Why are you shutting me out?” Emotion was in her voice.

  I picked her up and moved her to the couch. Then I stood up and walked to the window, keeping my back to her. “I’m not ready to talk about it right now.”

  She stood behind me. “We tell each other everything. When did that change?”

  I stared out the window.

  “You can’t just leave me when I’m asleep and not expect me to panic when you’re gone.” Now she was getting upset. “Being in a relationship means you’re bound as one person. There should be nothing you aren’t able to tell me. I’m your best friend, Cayson. The fact you won’t tell me worries me. What could have possibly happened to make you this upset? Did I do something?”

  “Of course not, Skye.”

  “Then I don’t see what the problem is.”

  It was a huge conflict of interest. I was pissed at her brother and I wasn’t sure how she would feel about me being this upset about Roland sleeping with my ex. There was nothing she could do to help me. In fact, she would only make it worse. But she was right. I couldn’t just push her away.

  I turned back around. “I just saw Roland.”

  “Okay…” Her arms were by her sides and she refrained from touching me.

  “Apparently, he slept with Jasmine a few weeks ago.”

  Her jaw dropped. “Your ex, Jasmine?”

  I nodded.

  “Oh…”

  “I can’t remember the last time I was this mad.” I shook my head. “He stabbed me in the back and broke a fundamental rule between friends and family. I trusted him and now I realize how that trust was misplaced. Of all people in the world, he had to fuck with Jasmine? The girl I already broke into a million pieces. Fucker.”

  Skye flinched at my profanity but she didn’t say anything.

  I looked at her. “That’s why I didn’t want to talk about it right now.”

  Skye kept her silence.

  I sighed then moved to the couch.

  Skye sat beside me. “I’m sorry.”

  “You don’t need to apologize for your brother’s stupidity.”

  Her hand found mine and she held it. Her thumb brushed over my knuckles. “I haven’t heard his side of the story but—”

  “Don’t defend him.”

  Skye dropped the subject.

  I leaned back into the couch and closed my eyes.

  “Cayson?”

  “Hmm?”

  “Why does it make you so upset that he slept with her?”

  Skye was one of the brightest women I’d ever met. But that was a stupid question. “Is that a joke?”

  “Well, if you didn’t love her, why does it hurt you to think of her being with other men? I guess I don’t understand.”

  Skye was always stupid when it came to Jasmine. She would never let go of the jealousy. “I don’t care about her sleeping with other people. I just don’t want her to sleep with guys that use her. She’s had enough heartache to last for a lifetime. I want her to end up with a really great guy, someone who can undo everything I did. Roland was perfectly aware of that. And even if he wasn’t, it’s against unspoken law to sleep with your friend’s ex. Period. Not only did he disrespect me, he hurt someone I care about. And that’s not okay—for any reason.”

  Skye stared at me then scooted closer to me on the couch. “I’m sorry.”

  I stared at the blank TV screen.

  She came closer to me then rested her head on my shoulder. Then she snuggled close to me.

  “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

  “Okay.” She rubbed the back of my neck then placed gentle kisses on my shoulder. “It’s late. Do you want to go to bed?”

  “I’m not tired.”

  “Do you want me to make you tired?” Her meaning was clear.

  I was stressed and irritated. I just wanted to forget about Roland. Every time I thought about him, I wanted to punch something. Anger leaked from my pores and dispersed throughout the room. It infected everything around me. There was no better way to distract me than with sex. “Okay.”

  Skye moved in front of me then sunk down to her knees. She undid my jeans and got everything off. Then she leaned over and took me in her mouth, sealing her lips around me.

  I lay my head on the cushion and closed my eyes, thinking about Skye and nothing else.

  ***

  Slade and I hadn’t said a word to each other since our odd conversation a few days ago. It was obvious he was hiding something but I had no idea what it was. I was hurt and I knew he was irritated with me. We had disagreements before, but nothing like that. I wasn’t sure if we would be the same. He was so distant from me. My initial instinct was to call him and tell him about Roland but I wasn’t sure if he even wanted to talk to me.

  I was walking across campus when I heard his familiar voice.

  “Cayson!”

  I turned around and saw him run at me. “Slade?”

  When he reached me, he immediately hugged me.

  What the hell? We never hugged.

  “Are you okay?” He pulled away and looked at me. “I heard what Roland did.”

  “From who?”

  He thought for a moment. “Skye.”

  I’m surprised she told him. But I guess news traveled fast. “Yeah…”

  “I can’t believe he pulled that shit. I wouldn’t even do that.” He was more upset than I was. “I say we beat the life out of him and make him regret ever touching your woman.”

  “My woman? Skye is my woman.”

  “You know what I mean,” he hissed. “No one messes with my best friend and gets away with it.”

  “Slade, he’s your cousin.”

  “So what? You’re my brother.” His voice was loud and angry.

  I guess I shouldn’t be surprised by his devotion to me.

  “Look, there aren’t very many laws we abide by. In fact, we’re jerks to each other on a daily basis. But in the end, we always have each other’s backs. The fact Roland did this to you is a slap in the face. And not just to you, but all of us.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest.

  “Next time I see him, his eyes will be so swollen he won’t be able to sleep.”

  “Slade, I don’t want that.”

  “What?”

  “This is a conflict of interest for you since you’re related to him. I don’t want to put you in the middle of this.”

  “You aren’t. I’m putting myself in the middle of it. What he did wasn’t cool, man.”

  “Well…thanks.”

  “How does Skye feel about it?”

  I shrugged. “I’m trying not to put her in the middle of it either.”r />
  “You know that’s impossible, right? They aren’t super close but they still have each other’s backs. This is going to be complicated for you.”

  “I know it is. At least I have you to vent to.”

  “Always.” He clapped my shoulder.

  I thought about the fight we had the other night, and I think he did too. If Slade didn’t want to talk about his personal life, I guess I shouldn’t push him. Because in the end, he was there when it mattered. “Thanks.”

  “Can I buy you lunch? Or a beer? Something to cheer you up.”

  I clapped his shoulder. “You already did.”

  Chapter Ten

  Skye

  “I can’t believe you did that, Roland!” I grabbed him by the ear and tugged.

  “Ouch!” He swatted my hand away then stepped back into his apartment. “Knock it off!”

  I went inside then slammed the door. “What were you thinking?”

  He rubbed his ear and glared at me. “I don’t know. I was being an idiot.”

  “Clearly,” I said sarcastically.

  “She threw herself at me. She dragged me into her apartment and practically raped me. She said she wanted a one-night stand. The next morning, she threw me out on my ass.”

  “Is that supposed to be an excuse?” I asked, putting my hands on my hips.

  “I didn’t think Cayson would care, alright? He never loved her so what does it matter?”

  “He cares about her. And you knew that Roland.” I pointed a finger in his chest. “Don’t play dumb.”

  He swatted my hand away. “I made a mistake. I’m only human.”

  “But why did it have to be her?” I snapped.

  “Why do you care?”

  “Why do I care?” I asked incredulously.

  “Yeah, you never liked Jasmine.”

  “That’s irrelevant. Do you realize that you put a huge void between yourself and Cayson, who’s my boyfriend, in case you’ve forgotten? You made a huge mess for me.”

  “Poor you,” he said sarcastically.

  “I’m being serious! Cayson is really pissed.”

  “I know. I remember when he punched me in the face.”

  “He punched you?”

  Roland pointed at his swollen lip. “Yeah. I didn’t think he had it in him.”

  This was worse than I thought. “You need to apologize.”

  “I already did!”

  “You need to do it again.”

  “Cayson doesn’t want to talk to me right now.”

  “Or ever,” I snapped. “Which is why you need to make this right.”

  He sat down on the couch and sighed. “Skye, I feel like shit for what I did. Honestly. I wish I could take it back. Cayson is family and I feel terrible for hurting him. But I feel worse for being a jerk just like every other guy Jasmine knows. If you think I’m not hurting, you’re wrong.”

  I sat beside him. “Tell Cayson that.”

  “Skye, you don’t get it. He hates me.”

  “You’re going to lose him if you don’t fix it.”

  “You think I’m not aware of that?” he snapped.

  I ran my fingers through my hair. “I can’t have my boyfriend hate my brother.”

  “You’re sleeping with him so smooth things over for me.”

  “Believe me, I’ll try.”

  He leaned back in the chair and sighed. “I’m sorry I made this hard for you.”

  His words seemed genuine. “I know, Roland. I just wish you would grow up.”

  “Grow up?”

  “Yes. First it was the married woman and now this. How do you think Mom and Dad will feel when they find out?”

  “Mom already knows.”

  “You told her?”

  He nodded. “She was disappointed in me but she was glad I decided to tell him. I was debating it for a while.”

  “You were debating it?” I snapped.

  “And I think I made the wrong decision,” he hissed. “Look at the mess I made.”

  “No, you shouldn’t have slept with her to begin with.” I marched toward his door.

  “Where are you going?”

  “To clean up your mess.” I slammed the door.

  ***

  Cayson came over with a pizza under his arm. “Hope you’re hungry.”

  “Every day you act like it’s our first date.” I took the pizza then stood on my tiptoes to kiss him.

  “And every time I kiss you, it feels like the first time.” He kissed me again.

  I melted at his touch. “Yeah…” I felt a bout of giggles coming on.

  He smirked at me, watching my cheeks redden. “I like it when you blush like that.”

  “Why?”

  He examined my face with dark eyes. “My entire life I’ve seen you do that to other guys. I never thought I’d be one of them.”

  My heart softened. “And you’re the last one.”

  A slight smirk spread on his lips. Then he leaned in and kissed me again. “What do you want to do tonight?”

  “Sex.”

  He laughed. “Besides that.”

  “Fore play.”

  He chuckled again. “And after that?”

  “We can have sex again.”

  He rolled his eyes then opened the pizza box. He took out two slices and placed them on a plate. Then he handed it to me. “I never knew you were a sex addict.”

  “Well, I’ve never had such great sex.”

  Now Cayson was blushing.

  I loved that reaction. “Did I embarrass you?”

  He made his own plate then walked into the living room. “No. You just humble me.”

  “Well, you really are amazing in bed.” I sat beside him on the couch.

  “Don’t you think the sex is good because we’re in love? Not just because I have a few moves?”

  “Maybe…but I doubt it. Has a girl ever said that to you before?”

  Cayson ate his pizza and didn’t answer my question.

  “You can answer. I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t prepared to know your response.”

  “Jasmine said it a lot. As did a few others…”

  I hated her name. I hated the fact she was pretty and perfect. Ugh. “Then I think you’re doing something right, Cayson.”

  “I promise you it’s totally different with you than it was with any other woman. And it’s because I’m madly in love with you.”

  That erased my jealousy. “I know.”

  He kissed my cheek then kept eating.

  “Speaking of being in love…having you hate my brother is probably not beneficial to our relationship.”

  His mood suddenly changed. “Drop it, Skye. I don’t want to talk about it.”

  I put my pizza down. “So, you’re going to hate him forever?”

  “I don’t hate him—I just don’t like him.”

  “That’s still not okay. I know what he did was wrong but—”

  “I should just forgive him because he’s related to you?” he asked incredulously. “So he can get away with anything because I’m in love with you? No, that’s not how it works, Skye. I don’t expect you to choose sides in the matter, but I’m offended you want me to cave and forget what he did just to make your life easier.”

  “That’s not what I’m saying—”

  “Yes, it is. Now drop it. When I’m with you, I don’t think about anything else but us. I don’t want that to change.”

  I sighed then let the conversation die.

  Cayson finished his pizza then left the plate on the coffee table. “You want to hear something interesting?”

  “Always.”

  “When I was with Slade last week, he kept asking me all these questions about being a boyfriend to you—like what to do and say. It was like he was asking for advice but not really. Then when I got to his apartment, I found a self-help book about being a good boyfriend for dummies. I think Slade is seeing someone…”

  I abandoned my pizza, no longer interested in it. “Our Slade?�
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  He laughed. “Yes.”

  “But…he doesn’t do the girlfriend thing.”

  “I know. He’s been telling me for years.”

  “Then…how is that possible?”

  “I don’t know. But all the signs are there.”

  It wasn’t making sense. “That can’t be right.”

  “Why?”

  “Why would Slade hide it? Why wouldn’t he just tell you?”

  Cayson shrugged. “Maybe he’s embarrassed he went back on his word when he said he would always be single. Or maybe he just doesn’t want us to tease him about it. Or maybe he doesn’t want us to tell his parents…the possibilities are endless.”

  “I just…can’t picture it.”

  “And he’s been weird for months. I think Trinity noticed it too.”

  “Trinity?” I asked. “What do you mean?”

  “She’s just different around him, stares at him a lot. I think she’s just as suspicious as I am.”

  “He’s your best friend. Why don’t you just ask him?”

  “I did,” he said immediately. “He denied everything and practically panicked.”

  “But…he tells you everything.”

  “I know…which is why it’s so weird. I can understand why he wouldn’t mention it to the group but I assumed I would be in the loop.”

  “Strange…”

  “Yeah.” He settled onto the couch then pulled me close to him. “Enough about my annoying best friend. I want to show you how good I am in bed.”

  “You’ve already shown me.” I curled into his chest.

  “I can show you again.” He rubbed his nose against mine then slowly lowered me onto the couch. Then he moved his legs between mine.

  “I should take notes.”

  He chuckled then kissed me. “It’s okay. I’ll show you again if you miss anything.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Trinity

  I sat on the couch and read my book while I waited for Slade to come over. I wasn’t sure what we were doing tonight, but we were probably going to order a pizza and watch TV, which was what we usually did.

  A knock on the door made me put the book down.

  Slade never knocked. He always just walked inside. “It’s open,” I yelled.

  He knocked again.

  Maybe it wasn’t him…

  I left my book on the table then opened the door.