You Are All I'll Ever Need Read online

  “What do you mean ‘nah’?” Conrad snapped. “You love the strip club. You said it’s your favorite place in the whole world, even better than Disneyland.”

  I took my phone out of my pocket and typed a message to him. Just say yes. Now. I left my phone on my lap. When I looked up, Cayson was staring at me. Then Slade’s phone beeped with a text message. Cayson eyed him next.

  Slade read it and didn’t react. “Fine. I was going to meet up with this number I have in the city but I guess I could go after the strip club.”

  “Atta boy.” Conrad rose then hit his shoulder as he walked off.

  Slade stood up next. “I have class. See you losers later.” He walked off.

  I didn’t acknowledge him or look at him. But I felt Cayson staring at me. I had no idea what he was thinking, but I knew his mind wasn’t blank. There was suspicion there.

  And I was terrified he knew my secret.

  ***

  Come over. Now.

  Slade responded immediately. You can’t get enough of me, huh?

  Just get over here.

  I’m on my way. Geez, you get bossy when you’re horny.

  I wasn’t in the mood for his jokes. I tossed my phone aside and waited for him to show up.

  He walked through my front door a few minutes later. “Alright. How do you want it?” He pulled off his shirt then moved toward me.

  I put my hand on his chest. “No. I want to talk.”

  “Sex first then we cuddle later.”

  “No sex,” I snapped. “This is serious.”

  “What?” He finally focused. “Did Reid give you a hard time? Because I’ll beat the shit out of him and stick needles in his eyes if he did.” He went from flirty and fun to psychopath in ten seconds.

  “No, it’s nothing like that. I think Cayson is on to us.”

  His eyes narrowed then he laughed. “No, he’s not.”

  “I think he is,” I argued. “He kept staring at me when we were in the library today.”

  “Because you’re beautiful.”

  It was a sweet thing to say but now wasn’t the time. “Cayson doesn’t see me like that. Believe me, he hardly notices I’m a girl. The only woman he has eyes for is Skye.”

  He shrugged. “Maybe you had a booger on your face.”

  “Slade, I’m being serious!”

  “Look, I know Cayson better than anybody. If he thought something was going on between us, he would straight up ask me. That’s a fact.”

  “And he hasn’t asked you anything?”

  “No. Now you need to chill and take off your shirt.”

  Did he ever think about anything else? “I’m really worried about this. I’m not ready to talk about us to anyone. The last thing I need is for it to get back to my dad.”

  Slade cringed. “I don’t even want to think about it…”

  “So, are you absolutely sure?”

  “Yes, baby.”

  That was the first time he ever called me that.

  Slade seemed to notice it too. “It’ll be okay. Don’t stress about it.” His voice was in a different tone.

  “You need to do a better job at being you, cocky and sex-crazed.”

  “What the hell does that mean?”

  “When the guys ask you to go to a strip club, just say yes.”

  He cocked an eyebrow. “But I don’t want to go to a strip club.”

  That shocked me. “You don’t?”

  “Why would I when I have you? I’ll just sit in a chair and get a boner but I won’t be able to do anything about it. Then I’ll be thinking about you like crazy because I’ll be desperate to be inside you. It’s a total waste of time.”

  I never expected those words to leave his lips. I guess he really was trying. “Well, you still need to act normal and just do it.”

  “Why?”

  “Because everyone will notice if you don’t. So if they ask you to go on a triple date or something you would normally do if I wasn’t around, you need to just say yes and do it.”

  “Wait…” He stared at me like I was crazy. “If they ask me go on another date, you want me to go?”

  “No, not at all. But I don’t see any way around it. If you keep blowing them off, they’ll know something if up. You’ll just have to play along.”

  He shook his head. “I’d rather just not go.”

  “Too bad.”

  “And this doesn’t go both ways. If someone pressures you to go out with a guy, I don’t want you to go.”

  “I have to—”

  “No. It won’t be that obvious for you. And that’s what I want.” The fire was in his eyes. He dared me to argue with him.

  “Whatever. But you need to do it.”

  He sighed. “Fine. Whatever.”

  I was glad we got that cleared up. “Okay, now we can have sex.”

  “Yes!” He clapped his hands in excitement. “I’ve been looking forward to this all day.” He grabbed me then scooped me into his arms. Then he carried me into the bedroom.

  I had my arm hooked around his neck and I giggled. “Wow…you’re horny.”

  “How can I not be when you’re fucking gorgeous?”

  My heart melted at his words. Maybe we could do this. He really was sweet when he put the effort in. I was down a path that would lead to either my destruction or happiness. Right now, I wasn’t sure which one would be my destination.

  ***

  My dad sipped his coffee then looked out the window. He always drank it black without any cream. My mom and I both liked our coffee the same way: with lots of cream and sugar.

  He returned it to the counter and rested his hands on his lap. “What’s new with you, honey?”

  A lot, actually. “Nothing.”

  “Nothing?” He raised an eyebrow and looked at me with his dark eyes. They were blue, but borderline black. My dad radiated hostility at most times. It wasn’t intentional, but he was a buff guy and didn’t like bullshit. My dad was too smart, and his intelligence usually didn’t end in my favor.

  “Well, school has been good. But my head is somewhere else most of the time.”

  “Where is it?”

  I opened my purse and pulled out my journal. It was where I sketched all my pieces. “This is what I’ve been working on for a few years.” I passed it to him.

  He opened it then flipped through the pages. His eyes lingered on every outfit for a long time. I knew my dad didn’t care about fashion. His closet was full of gray suits, and when he wasn’t working, he always wore jeans and a t-shirt. Unless my mom took him shopping, he didn’t go. But he looked at every single image I drew, rubbing his chin as he did it. Then he would lick his fingertips before he turned the page. It was a habit that never faded, even with time. When I used to come with him to work, he did the same thing. “Trinity…these are beautiful.”

  My dad hardly used that word. He said it to my mom often, but that was the only instance. “Really?” I wasn’t nervous to show my dad but I didn’t expect him to appreciate it either. What straight guy cared about fashion?

  “Really.” He kept flipping through them until he reached the end. “I don’t know much about fashion, and I’m blind when it comes to my children, but I really do think they are good.”

  I felt like I was floating in space. My dad’s approval meant a lot to me.

  “Whenever you’re ready, we can start your fashion line.” He closed the book and passed it back to me.

  “Really?”

  He nodded. “I met with the editor of Vogue and asked if you could have a paid internship when you graduate. I assumed you would want to learn about the business first. But if you’d rather not, I spoke to Cavos and asked if he would be willing to meet you and give you advice about how to launch it. He could give you some good contacts.”

  My mouth dropped. “Cavos? The biggest fashion guru in the world? The number-one brand stars wear on the red carpet? That Cavos?”

  My dad smirked. “Yes.”

  “How do you kno
w him?”

  “I don’t. I got to know him.”

  “How did you manage that?”

  “I gave him a reason to meet with me.” My dad was always vague when it came to stuff like this.

  “Like what?”

  He shrugged. “New computers and software for his entire company. It’s a tax write-off anyway.”

  My jaw dropped. “You did that…for me?”

  He turned his gaze on me. A serious look was on his face but fondness was in his eyes. “Trinity, I would do anything for you. I assumed you would have figured that out by now.”

  I guess I just couldn’t believe it. My dad did enough by giving me everything I ever wanted, but on top of that, he was always there for me. My interests were his interests. He never made me feel stupid even when I did stupid things. His intelligence dwarfed mine but he never mentioned it. He was the best dad in the world. “I don’t know what to say…”

  “You don’t need to say anything, honey.” He sipped his coffee again.

  “And an internship at Vogue?”

  “You won’t be getting coffee,” he said with a laugh. “If that’s what you were thinking. You would be in the wardrobe department where the designers piece outfits together for photo shoots.”

  “And how did you pull that off?”

  “I paid the editor a visit. She’s actually a very nice woman. When I told her my situation, she accommodated me.”

  “Without any reason?” I found that hard to believe.

  “When I told her my name, she recognized me. I think that had a lot to do with it.”

  She probably thought he was hot. Gross.

  “Well…I really appreciate it.”

  “I know. So, which direction do you want to take?”

  “I want the internship,” I blurted.

  He chuckled. “Great. I’ll let her know.”

  My head was spinning. I couldn’t believe any of that happened. My dad made every one of my dreams come true. He bent backwards just to give me what I wanted. I felt spoiled. “I’m really lucky to have you.” The words left my lips without thinking.

  His eyes locked to mine. “I’m the lucky one, honey. The moment you came into my life, my world was a brighter place.”

  “I thought it was when you found Mom.”

  “She was. Like I said, I was in a very dark place before she was mine. But when you were born…I can’t even explain it. You changed my life in a completely different way. I never thought I could love something so much. You couldn’t even speak and I was completely smitten with you.” He smirked like he was thinking of distant memories. “You were stinky and you cried non-stop, and you would spit on my suits before I had meetings but…I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

  “I was not stinky!”

  He laughed. “You were a farter, I’ll say that much.”

  “No!”

  His shoulders relaxed as he kept laughing. “But you were adorable so it was okay.”

  “Mom said I was the perfect child.”

  He shook his head. “Every mother says that about their own child. And I would say the same.”

  I was lucky I had two parents that loved me more than themselves. I couldn’t count the number of times they went out of their way just to make my day better. Whenever I was sick, my dad always got me ice cream when he got off work. And he came to my bedroom at night to check my temperature. He always said I would be fine but his concern was evident.

  “So, you’ll take that job when you graduate?” he asked. “Or before?”

  “I’m going to finish college,” I said firmly.

  “You’re sure?”

  “Yes.”

  “Okay.” He dropped the subject. “Whatever you decide, I’m proud of you.”

  “Thanks…”

  He adjusted his Rolex then looked at the time.

  “Do you need to leave?” Fear escaped my voice. I hated it when my dad left. It was always hard for me. I knew Conrad was the same way even if he would never admit it.

  “No, I have all the time in the world—for you.”

  “You’re missing football.”

  “I don’t care about football. My time is better spent with you.”

  I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.

  “Do you have a man in your life?” He asked me this every time we saw each other. He always asked in a casual way but I knew he was more concerned than he let on. I hadn’t had a boyfriend my entire life and I’m sure he thought that was odd. Or he thought I was lying to him. I doubted he thought I was a virgin because he wasn’t stupid.

  What should I tell him? I couldn’t tell him about Slade. God, that would be awkward. “I went on a few dates with this guy.”

  His eyes lightened slightly. His shoulders tensed but it almost wasn’t noticeable. Indifference and calm was the persona he always projected but I knew he didn’t feel that way. He was fiercely protective of me. He just tried to be discreet about it. “You like him?”

  “I did but…it just didn’t work out.”

  “Did he do something?” His voice was a little darker.

  “No, not at all.”

  The tension left his shoulders. “Tell me about him.”

  “Well, he’s an owner of a chain of banks on the East coast. He’s wealthy. He went to school in California…um…he was nice and down-to-earth. And he was funny.”

  “He sounds older than you.”

  I knew it was a question even though he didn’t ask it. “He’s twenty-seven, so yes, he was older.”

  My dad didn’t react but he kept staring at me.

  “That’s about it…”

  “What bank does he own?”

  “I never asked.”

  He sipped his coffee while he was deep in thought. “What’s his last name?”

  I didn’t see why it mattered since I wasn’t dating him anymore. “Beaumont…I think.”

  My dad’s eyes flashed in recognition. “Reid?”

  Shit, he knew him? “Yeah…” Why did my dad have to know everybody?

  “I have a few accounts with his bank. And I know his father well.”

  “Oh…” What else was I supposed to say?

  “Reid is a nice guy. I like him.”

  He seemed like a guy my dad would like.

  “I like him a lot, actually.” He continued to stare at me.

  “Yeah, he’s a likeable guy.”

  “If you were to end up with someone, a guy like him is what I would prefer.”

  “But you hardly know him,” I argued. “All you know is he comes from a good family and wealth, and both those things aren’t important to me. And I’m offended it’s important to you.” I knew I sparked an argument but I couldn’t take back what I said. My dad was the worst person to go head-to-head with. He was too smart for his own good. My mom won every argument they had, but I knew it was only because my father let her.

  He said nothing for a long time, his jaw clenched. The silence before his words was always the worst part. I knew he was forming a response in his mind, taking his time. He was about to unleash his attack and put me to shame—like always. “No, that isn’t important to me. But I do want a man in your life that doesn’t care about the money attached to your name. Since something like that happened to my niece, who’s practically my own daughter, I don’t want the same thing to happen to you, my whole purpose for existence. The best way to guarantee that is to find someone who has his own money and wealth.

  “And I do know him. His father only has the highest respect and regard for him. I knew about his last relationship and why he ended it. I know what type of guy he is. He’s respectable, loyal, and he isn’t just trying to round the bases. He respects women and treats them the right way. I realize I have high standards for you, but it’s only because you deserve someone that excels in every category. Maybe this is a newsflash to you, but most guys are selfish fuckheads.”

  My dad never cursed in my presence unless he was extremely upset. So I knew he was piss
ed.

  “They will use you to get what they want, and they won’t blink an eye when they make you cry. Your happiness is meaningless to them. Your heart and soul mean even less. How do I know this? Because I was the guy fathers protected their daughters from. I wasn’t Prince Charming. I was the devil. I know exactly what to look for when it comes to stuff like this. And I can tell Reid is nothing like the man I used to be. So that’s why I think he’s good for you. I don’t know why you stopped seeing him, but if it ended on your part, you should reconsider him as a suitor.”

  His words echoed in my mind, loud and clear. My dad still stared at me, watching my reaction. He never tried to make me feel small or stupid, but when he was passionate about something, he put me down as far as I could go. “And his age doesn’t bother you?”

  “No, not in this case. I’m four years older than your mother and that has never hindered our relationship.”

  “But when it’s some guy off the street, it’s important?” Now wasn’t the time to be a smartass but I did it anyway.

  His eyes breathed fire. “Every thirty-year-old guy wants to fuck a twenty-something college girl. I didn’t realize you wanted to be a fresh piece of meat, something for them to sink their claws into before they gave the scraps to their dog.”

  My dad never talked to me like that. And I was getting scared. This was a realm we never visited before. “Stop.”

  He pressed his lips together and said nothing.

  “Stop talking.” I didn’t know what else to say. I just didn’t want to keep going forward.

  He stared out the window but his eyes still contained his rage.

  I looked at the table, trying not to let the tears form.

  He turned back to me. “Forgive me, Trinity. I shouldn’t have spoken to you that way. I apologize.”

  I grabbed my purse. “I…I have to go.”

  “Trinity.” His voice sliced through the air. “Do not walk away from me.” He challenged me with his eyes, threatening me to stay still. His voice was quiet and calm but it held his authority.

  I dropped my purse.

  “I’m sorry and it won’t happen again. I’ve never lost my temper with you before…that was my fault.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest.

  “This isn’t an excuse, but it’s only because I love you so much. I don’t want my daughter to cry over a broken heart. I don’t want you to give your heart to a jerk just to watch him break it. I know you’re an adult and you need to make your own mistakes and learn from them. But I made mistakes until I was thirty, and I wish I’d learned everything sooner. I just want to spare you from pain, that’s all.”