You Are All I'll Ever Need Read online

  What did that mean? “So…you feel the same way?”

  She nodded. “Reid is the perfect guy. There’s not a single thing about him that I don’t like…but…”

  “But what?”

  “I still want you.” She covered her face. “It doesn’t make any sense. All you’ve done is hurt me and use me. You never cared about me when we first got together. Yet, somehow, I feel something for you. It’s strong enough to make me cry when I thought you were with someone else. The smart thing would be to pick Reid…but I don’t want to.”

  That was music to my ears. “I feel the same way. When this arrangement started, it was meaningless. But…you’ve become the only woman I want to have. Does this mean you accept my offer?”

  “Are we still going to be a secret?”

  I wanted to be. But I guess it was her decision. “I want to keep it to ourselves but I’ll go public if that’s what you want.”

  She shook her head. “I’m not ready to tell anyone…especially since I don’t even know what I would say to describe our relationship.”

  I nodded. “Okay.”

  “No other girls?”

  “I promise,” I blurted. “I want the same from you.”

  “I’ll tell Reid tomorrow.”

  I knew I shouldn’t ask this because I didn’t want to know, but I had to. “Did you sleep with him, Trinity?” Please say no. Please say no.

  “No.”

  I released the air I was holding in my lungs.

  “But I kissed him.”

  Hallelujah. I can breathe again. “Okay.”

  “And what did you do with that model?” she asked.

  “Nothing.”

  “You didn’t even kiss her?”

  “Well, she kissed my neck for a little bit but that was it.”

  Trinity seemed to be satisfied by that response. “I feel like I’m making a mistake but I want to make it anyway.”

  That hurt. “I’ll try not to be a mistake.”

  She turned her attention back to her keys then got the front door open.

  “Can I sleep here?” I asked quietly.

  “I guess.” She walked inside then put her coat and purse down. She wore a red dress that had long sleeves. A silver bracelet was on her wrist. Heeled boots were on her feet.

  “You look really pretty.”

  It didn’t seem like she thought my compliment was sincere. She walked away without saying anything. Then she went to her room and undressed.

  I came behind her then pulled my shirt off.

  “I don’t want to have sex tonight,” she blurted.

  “That’s fine.” I wasn’t expecting anything.

  She got into bed then set her alarm. Then she turned off the lights.

  I got into bed beside her then snuggled close to her. Her back was to me and she was tense. She was angry with me but I wasn’t sure why.

  “Hey.”

  “What?” she whispered.

  My arm grabbed her waist then pulled her closer to me. I turned her over and forced her to look at me. “I want to see you.”

  She kept her arms tight around her chest, like she was protecting herself. She stared at me then looked down, gazing at my chest.

  How do I make this better? I grabbed one of her arms then hooked it around my waist. Then I moved my leg between her thighs. “Touch me.”

  She let me reposition her but she was still closed off from me.

  I stared at her for a long time, wishing I could read her mind. “What are you thinking?”

  She was quiet for so long I didn’t think she heard me. “I guess I’m scared.”

  “Of what?”

  “This…”

  There wasn’t a single word I could use to describe what our arrangement was. She meant a lot to me, more than I could possibly express. Whenever I wasn’t with her, I thought about her. I kept trying to convince myself Trinity didn’t mean anything to me, that she was just some girl I like sleeping with. But I knew that wasn’t true. My heart beat for her and she was the only woman I wanted. The fact I dreamt about her and stared at her when she thought I wasn’t looking was terrifying. Every time I touched her, my heart accelerated. Blood pounded in my ears and I felt light-headed. Everything was different and nothing was the same. “I’m scared too.”

  Chapter Eight

  Trinity

  “When are you going to tell him?” Slade had asked me that three times a day every day.

  “When I tell him,” I snapped.

  He sat beside me on the couch, his jaw clenched. “I want you to tell him now.”

  I glared at him from my seat against the armrest. “What’s the rush?”

  “Because if he thinks you’re his, then you aren’t really mine.” Anger burned in his eyes and his shoulders were tense. He’d never been the jealous type but he seemed to be acting that way now.

  “Just calm down.”

  Slade looked at the TV but I knew he wasn’t really watching it.

  “How was your trip to California?”

  “Fine.” He said nothing more.

  I rolled my eyes. I knew he was going to be in a bad mood until I broke up with Reid. The truth was, I was dreading it. I felt like I was saying goodbye to a future I wanted. I had no idea why I agreed to what Slade wanted but I did. “If you’re going to be an asshole, then fine, I’ll do it now.”

  He visibly relaxed. “Great. Let’s go.”

  “Whoa…let’s? As in we?”

  “Yep.” He jumped up from the couch then put his wallet in his pocket.

  “You aren’t coming.”

  “Yes, I am.”

  “No, you aren’t,” I argued.

  “Too bad.”

  I stood up then glared at him. “Get over yourself, Slade. This jealous and controlling side of you isn’t a good color on you.”

  He clenched his jaw and said nothing.

  I pulled out my phone. Hey, can we talk?

  Sure. I just got off work.

  Can we have coffee?

  Okay. You want me to come get you?

  Sure.

  I’ll be there in half an hour.

  Okay. “He’ll be here soon. You should go.”

  Slade clearly didn’t want to. “How about I just chill here?”

  I shook my head. “You’re unbelievable.”

  “What?” he snapped.

  “What are you so afraid of?”

  Slade stared me down but didn’t say anything.

  “You tell me everything. Now fess up.”

  He sighed then ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m afraid he’s going to change your mind. If I’m here, you’re less likely to pick him.”

  “Slade, I’m not going to change my mind.”

  He still seemed uneasy. “It just seems like you aren’t happy with your decision.”

  “You already know how I feel. I’m scared as hell of what this is. It’s so volatile and delicate. I’m going down a blind path with absolutely no senses. I never expected to feel anything for you. You were a man I hated and couldn’t stand. And now…you’re my best friend. It’s a lot to take in.”

  He seemed to relax. “Okay. I’ll go.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Call me if you need me.”

  “Okay.”

  He cupped my face and gave me a slow kiss. “I promise I will try, Trinity. And that’s more than I’ve given any girl before. Keep that in mind.”

  “I know…”

  He kissed me again. “I’ll see you later.” He walked out and shut the door.

  I stood there, thinking about that kiss long after it was over.

  ***

  Reid rang the doorbell.

  Ugh, I was not looking forward to this. At all.

  I opened the door. “Hey…”

  He eyed my jeans and sweater. “You look nice.”

  “Thanks.” I closed the door behind me and locked it. “There’s a Starbucks just down the road.”

  He didn’t move. His
hands were in his pockets and his eyes were lifeless. “I have a feeling we should just have this conversation here. Otherwise, it’ll be an awkward drive home.”

  I didn’t know what to say.

  “Seeing you two together made it clear you guys aren’t just messing around. I’m not sure about the details and I don’t really want to know, but I can tell there’s something more.”

  I didn’t see the point in denying it.

  “I’m assuming that’s what you wanted to tell me.” He looked to me for verification.

  “Yeah…”

  He nodded slowly then looked across my yard. Then he turned back to me. “Trinity, I’m offering you a lot more than he is. If he can’t give you what you want, don’t settle. Take a chance on me and see where it goes.”

  I never had a guy fight for me before. “You’re the logical choice…”

  “Then why aren’t you picking me?”

  I fidgeted with my hair. “I don’t know…”

  He studied my face, his eyes lingering on mine. A minute passed and nothing was said. “You love him.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest and stared at the ground. Words escaped me and I couldn’t speak.

  He nodded again. “I guess there’s nothing you can do about that.”

  “I’m so sorry, Reid.”

  “It’s okay. Sometimes things don’t work out.”

  He was being such a good sport about it. “I feel terrible.”

  “Hey, why get upset about something you can’t change?” He touched my shoulder then rubbed it gently. Then he dropped it. “I just hope he gives you everything you deserve. Because you’re very special, Trinity.”

  “He said he would try.”

  “Well, maybe I’m the best thing that ever happened to you—in a twisted way.” He chuckled lightly.

  “You’re so perfect, Reid. I can’t believe I’m going to walk away from you.”

  “Well, maybe you aren’t looking for perfect.”

  “Why wouldn’t I be?”

  “Sometimes you need something different, unique. And maybe Slade can give that to you.”

  I never thought about it that way before.

  “But, I do want to say this. If things don’t work out and you find yourself alone in the world, call me. I don’t care how many years pass. If I’m available, I’d really like a chance with you—a real one.”

  That was the last thing I expected him to say. “I’ll remember that.”

  He gave me a long look before he stepped back. “Tell Slade he’s a lucky guy.” He turned around and walked away, leaving me on my front porch. After he got into his Range Rover, he drove away.

  While I was sad that my time with Reid was over, I hoped I’d never see him again.

  ***

  Skye sat across from me in the library. “How was your weekend?”

  Dreadful. “It was okay.”

  “How did the date with Mr. Dreamy go?” She scattered her textbooks across the table and got comfortable.

  I couldn’t pretend I was still dating him. Skye would catch on. But what excuse would I make? Keeping Slade a secret was only going to get more difficult as time went on. “Actually, it’s not going to work out.”

  Her eyes darted to my face. “Why? What happened?”

  I tried to find a quick explanation. “He just said he didn’t see it going anywhere.”

  “What?” she asked. “But he seemed so into you.”

  I shrugged. “Maybe he’s dating someone else.”

  Skye’s eyes fell in sadness. “I’m so sorry, Trinity.” She moved her hand over mine.

  “It’s okay.”

  “You’re going to find the perfect guy. I don’t know when, but it’s going to happen.”

  I nodded quickly. “Thanks…”

  She pulled her hand away and sighed. “You want to get a drink? Or even better, a pint of ice cream?”

  I chuckled. “It’s okay. I’m fine.”

  Skye seemed doubtful.

  “Really. I don’t need a man to be happy. He’ll show up when I stop looking.”

  “Well, at least you have a good attitude about it. But I’m always in the mood for ice cream so let me know if you change your mind.”

  I smiled. “Thanks, girl.” I flipped through my magazine. “What did you and Cayson do this weekend?”

  “Cayson wasn’t here. He went home for the weekend.”

  What? He went home for the weekend? And Slade went to California? That seemed to be an odd coincidence. “He did?”

  She nodded.

  “What for?”

  “Nothing specific. He just wanted to see his family.”

  “Oh. What did you do then?”

  She rolled her eyes. “I sat on the couch and thought about Cayson the entire time…like a pathetic love struck teenager.” She added a laugh at the end.

  “I’m not judging you. I always knew you were pathetic.”

  She gave me a quick glare. “When you fall in love, you’ll be pathetic too.”

  With the way Slade treated me, I was already pathetic. “Yeah…”

  Cayson moved into the seat beside her. “Hey, beautiful.” He put his arm around her shoulder then leaned in and kissed her.

  Skye visibly melted at his touch. “I’m so glad you’re home.”

  “Sleepover for the week?”

  She rubbed her nose against his. “Please.”

  I tried not to gag. But I was also jealous.

  Cayson finally turned toward me. “Hey, Trinity.”

  “Hey.”

  “How’s it going with that guy?”

  Skye told him? Now I knew how Slade knew. “It didn’t work out.”

  His eyes narrowed and he stared at me for a long time. “What happened?” he blurted. He never asked me personal questions like that. It was odd.

  I shrugged. “He said he wasn’t interested anymore.”

  He stared at me like it was the first time he ever really looked at me. “Oh…I’m sorry.”

  Why was he being so weird? “It’s okay.”

  Cayson kept his arm around Skye’s shoulders but his eyes were reserved for me.

  Okay…what the hell was going on?

  Slade reached our table then plopped down into a chair. He was wearing a black jacket and we all noticed.

  Cayson eyed him. “Cold?”

  Slade reached inside his jacket then pulled out a burrito wrapped in foil. “No. I just had to sneak this in.”

  I didn’t comment. It was getting more difficult to argue and bicker with him. We still butted heads every once in a while, but now we got along for the most part.

  He ripped the foil off then starting munching on his food. His eyes glanced around to make sure we were alone.

  Cayson eyed him then eyed me.

  Okay…something was going on. “What?” I barked.

  His eyes narrowed on me then he shook his head. “Nothing.”

  Slade didn’t seem to notice anything. While he ate his burrito, he would sneak glances at me every few minutes. Then he quickly looked away and acted indifferent. Just like normal.

  “What did you do this weekend?” Skye asked Slade.

  “I went to California with my dad.” He didn’t look at her when he said it. His burrito had his full attention.

  “What’s in California?” Skye asked.

  “My dad and I went to a tattoo festival—something you wouldn’t be interested in.” He stuffed the remaining half into his mouth and swallowed it.

  It was hard for me not to stare at him. Whenever I was around him, I wanted to feel him close to me. In the privacy of my home, we would snuggle on the couch or in my bed. We could be ourselves and act on our instincts. Sitting across the table from him and acting like he meant nothing to me was almost impossible. In the beginning of our relationship, it was easy. But now, it was a struggle.

  “Be nice to Trinity today,” Skye warned him. “She’s a little under the weather.”

  He eyed me then raised
an eyebrow. “What’s wrong?” Concern was strong in his voice. When Skye and Cayson both looked at him, he seemed to realize his mistake. “I mean, what’s up your ass?”

  “Nothing,” I said immediately.

  “That guy she was seeing was an idiot and didn’t realize he had a perfect woman on his hands,” Skye said with anger.

  Slade seemed to calm down. “He probably left because you’re annoying.”

  I needed to participate in the argument even though I didn’t want to. “Shut up and go drive off a cliff.”

  “I’ll chase you off a cliff,” he snapped.

  “I said be nice to her,” Skye said. “Not argue with her.”

  “That’s the nicest thing she’s getting from me.” Slade pulled out his phone and played a game on it.

  Cayson kept staring at him.

  “My parents are having an anniversary party,” Skye said. “Did you guys hear about it?”

  “They are?” I asked.

  “They just sent out the invitations,” Skye said. “But my mom called me and told me the details. I guess they are renewing their vows.”

  Slade cringed. “We get it, they’re in love. Do they need to tell the whole world again?”

  “You want to be my date?” Cayson asked her.

  “Please.” She gave him a bright smile.

  “I’m surprised my parents haven’t told me,” I said. “When is it?”

  “Next weekend,” Skye said. “It’ll be at my parents’ house.”

  “Do we have to go?” Slade asked.

  “I’m sure your mom is going to make you,” Skye said.

  “Great,” Slade said sarcastically.

  Conrad came to our table then took the seat next to me. “Aunt Scarlet and Uncle Sean are having an anniversary party.” He looked at me when he said it.

  “You’re two minutes late in your announcement,” I said.

  “I’m just passing that info along.” He turned to Slade. “Roland and I are heading to the city to hit up the strip clubs. You down?”

  Slade didn’t react but I could see the panic deep in his eyes. “Nah.” He played with his phone again.

  Cayson eyed him again.

  Shit, he was onto us. I could tell.