218 First Hugs Read online

  “Obviously. If you don’t, you’re always going to wonder what she wanted to say.”

  True. It would haunt me. “You’re right.”

  “Text her.”

  I texted her back. Sure. Where?

  How about that place where we had drinks with your friends?

  Sure. I can be there in an hour.

  I’ll see you there.

  “We’re meeting in an hour.” I tossed the phone on the coffee table.

  “Nervous?”

  “Yeah.” I wouldn’t admit that to someone else, but I could say it to him. “I don’t know what it is about this girl…”

  “I don’t think anyone knows why they’re into someone else. You just know.”

  “I guess.” Now I didn’t want to play anymore. I couldn’t concentrate. “I’m gonna go home and change.”

  “Let me know how it goes.”

  My stomach was tied up in knots, and a burst of adrenaline had spiked in my blood. No woman made me feel this way, made me feel high and low at the exact same time. “I will.”

  * * *

  I walked into the bar and saw her sitting alone at a table. She already had a gin and tonic sitting in front of her, and she wore a beautiful blue dress that showed off her entire back. Only a few straps covered her gorgeous skin.

  I got hard at the sight of her.

  I wished she didn’t have that effect on me. I wished I weren’t so impressed, so floored by this woman. She made me weak. She made me feel sensations I didn’t want to feel. I didn’t like it.

  When I reached her table, she looked up at me. With thick eyelashes, painted lips, and beautiful hair, she looked like she was about to compete in the Miss Universe pageant—and rock it. That gold necklace she always wore was around her throat, and she wore another silver ring on her right hand. She sat perfectly straight, holding the same posture as a queen.

  I sat down, immediately feeling resentful and angry again. Celeste never betrayed me, but it felt like she ripped my heart out anyway. I needed to stop being so harsh and judgmental. It wasn’t who I was. If she were a different woman, I’d probably even admire the open relationship idea.

  But not when it was a woman I wanted so much.

  I stared at her, and my mind went blank. I should have said hi or something, but I didn’t. All I could think about was kissing her, fucking her, and chaining her up to my bed so she could never go back to France ever again.

  I wanted to kidnap her.

  Shit, I had it bad.

  Celeste was the first one to speak. “Thanks for meeting me.”

  I nodded, my mouth still out of service.

  Her fingers wrapped around her glass, her nails painted a bright red color. Last time I saw them, they were blue. I noticed subtle aspects of her appearance that I never noticed with anyone else. I knew when she wore the same outfit I’d already seen, and I knew when she did her hair differently.

  I paid attention.

  “How are you?” she asked.

  I didn’t want to make idle chitchat or beat around the bush. I was wound too tightly for pleasantries. “What did you want to say to me?” If I answered her question truthfully, I’d have to tell her I was just as upset as I was when I walked out of her house. I wouldn’t allow her to understand how much she hurt me, how much she affected me.

  Celeste didn’t flinch at my coldness. “I’ve been thinking about you all week. I didn’t like the way we left things. I didn’t like the way I hurt you. That’s what I wanted to say to you.” She turned blunt, making this into a business conversation.

  “That’s it?” I asked. “You didn’t like the way we left things?” I was hoping for something more from her, more substantial. “That’s what happens when people break up. They stop talking and move on.”

  “I know,” she said. “But I don’t want to move on.”

  I stared at her lips, watching the way they remained partially opened. I missed the way her lipstick would leave a stain around the base of my cock after she sucked me off. Anytime I looked at that sexy mouth, it was all I could think about.

  “Blade, I miss you.” She looked me in the eye as she said it. “I’ve thought about you every day. I’ve thought about texting you a lot, but I never did it. I just…I don’t know. Do you miss me?”

  Like she needed to ask that. “Then what do you want to do about it? You still have a boyfriend.”

  “I thought maybe you just needed some time to cool off. You were surprised and needed to digest it.”

  “I don’t want to be with a woman who’s committed to another man.” Even if he knew about me, I didn’t like it. I didn’t like knowing she talked to him regularly, told him about her life in Carmel. I was a fuck buddy on the side, not a person who actually mattered.

  “So…you still feel the same way?”

  I nodded.

  She looked down at her glass before she took a drink.

  I knew she wanted to go back to being fuck buddies. She wanted to screw for the summer before she went back to her boyfriend in France. Then she would come back next summer and probably want to do the same thing. It was every guy’s dream but my nightmare. The anger made the truth roll off my tongue. “Celeste, you mean something to me. I don’t just want to fuck you. I want to make love to you. I want you to be mine. I know we haven’t known each other very long, but…I’ve never felt this way for a woman before. Something tells me you’re special to me, that this could actually turn into something. But if you’re gonna keep seeing someone else, then this isn’t going to work. I don’t want to be a summer fling. I want more. If you can’t give that to me…then this is over.” I put the ultimatum on the table, and now she had to decide. I was naïve to think she would actually pick me, but my heart told me there was a chance. She wouldn’t be sitting across from me right now if I didn’t mean anything to her.

  She stared at me in silence, her lips pressed tightly together as she considered what I said.

  It was the longest minute of my life.

  “You’re asking me to be with you instead of him.”

  “Yes.”

  “When you live in America and I live in France?”

  “Yes,” I repeated.

  She tucked her hair behind her ear, flustered. “Honestly, I’ve had a lot of summer flings in Carmel, but never one like this.”

  The simple sentence made me jealous of all the men who’d fucked her before me. It was stupid and immature, but it bothered me. I was just another name on a list of men she’d already forgotten.

  “You’re different,” she said. “I knew it the first time I saw you. I knew it when we kissed. I knew it the first time we were together. I know what you’re talking about…because I feel it too. I’ve never doubted my relationship with Henry until our paths crossed.”

  I didn’t want to know his name.

  “Now, I’m torn. You’re forcing me to make a decision, and the fact that I can’t make it concerns me.”

  So she was seriously considering me?

  “I understand how you feel, Blade. I understand you don’t want to settle for some of me when you want all of me. But you’re asking me to walk away from a man I’ve been with for five years.”

  “If you’ve ever slept with another man besides him, then you don’t love him.”

  “Don’t presume you know how I feel,” she said coldly.

  “But I do know how you feel. When you’re truly in love, you don’t want a summer fling. Frankly, you wouldn’t be running this bakery across the world if it meant you had to be away from him. You could hire someone to run the damn thing. That isn’t love, Celeste.”

  “And how would you know?” she said defensively.

  Now it was obvious to me. “Because I want you to stay here with me. I want you to dump him for me. I want to be with you every single day. That’s how I know, Celeste.”

  Her eyes immediately softened when she absorbed exactly what I said.

  I confessed to something I didn’t even know I fel
t. It just came tumbling out in the heat of the moment. I didn’t keep my cards close to my chest like I should have. “If you were mine, you would never want to be with another guy. I would never want to be with another woman. I would give you every reason to stay. I don’t know this guy, but he doesn’t deserve you. He shouldn’t want to be with other women. And he definitely shouldn’t want you to be with other men. Would you keep doing this when you’re married? Would anything ever change? What about when a friend of yours sees him with someone else? You just act like you’re fine with it?” The relationship didn’t make any sense to me. Even if she explained it to me, I still wouldn’t grasp it.

  She stared at her drink before she answered. “The open relationship idea was his. He said it’s difficult to remain faithful when he travels all the time. So we started doing it that way. We talk about the other people we’ve been with, but we don’t go into details. I agreed to the idea because I appreciated his honesty. There’s nothing I hate more than a liar. He’s never been a liar. I know he would be a good father and provider. He’s ambitious and compassionate, two things I like in a man. That’s how we got here.”

  “So, this is a business relationship.”

  “Not necessarily.”

  “It sounds like it,” I said coldly. “You’re sacrificing love for convenience.”

  She drank from her glass.

  “I can offer all of that and more. I’m a very successful man, and I’ve got a heart of gold. And I can promise you I’ll never want another woman besides you. Every time you go back to France to visit your friends and family, I’m coming with you. I want passion and a partnership. Don’t settle for this guy.”

  She stared at me with a defeated look. “Blade, we haven’t known each other very long—”

  “Trust your heart.” I placed my hand over my heart. “I trust mine. It’s telling me something right now. Yours must be too. You wouldn’t have asked to see me tonight if I didn’t mean anything to you.”

  She didn’t disagree.

  “Be with me, Celeste.”

  She looked into her glass, losing her confidence. “I can’t make that kind of decision right on the spot. I need more time.”

  “How much time?”

  “I don’t know…until the end of the summer.”

  She wanted me to keep seeing her, to put my heart on the line until she made her final decision. If she picked him in the end, I would be crushed.

  “I understand if I’m asking too much. I just need to spend more time with you before I leave my life behind. You aren’t just asking me to leave Henry. You’re asking me to live here full time. You can’t expect me to make a decision like that after seeing you for less than a month.”

  She was right. It was unreasonable. “You’re seriously considering me?”

  She looked me in the eye.

  I leaned forward. “If I have a real chance, then I’ll meet you halfway. I’ll give you until the end of the summer.”

  “Thank you…”

  “But I have one condition.”

  “Okay.”

  “You can’t see him. I don’t want him to visit you or you visit him.” I wasn’t going to keep sleeping with her if he was around to interfere. Then I would really be sharing her, and that wouldn’t be fair to me.

  “That’s fair.”

  “Then we have a deal.” A very strange deal.

  We stared at each other across the table and ignored everyone else in the room. She didn’t touch her drink, and I didn’t bother ordering a beer. Neither one of us wanted to be there.

  We wanted to be alone.

  10

  Amelia

  I’d just put the girls to bed when there was a knock on my door.

  Must be Evan.

  I hadn’t seen him all day, so it didn’t surprise me that he dropped by. He probably wanted to get laid—even though that wasn’t going to happen. I opened the door and came face-to-face with my sister—and Ace.

  Seeing them outside my door was normal. But at nine in the evening, it was pretty strange. “What’s going on, guys?”

  “Ace wants to talk to you.” Bree walked inside with Ace trailing behind her. “The two of you are gonna sit down and talk.” She pulled Ace’s sleeve and guided him to a chair at the table. He fell with a thud, his body heavy for the wooden chair. “You.” She pointed at me. “Get over here.”

  “Bree…what’s going on?” I did as she said, unsure what my sister was up to. If my sister was trying to force Ace to be with me, she wasn’t doing me any favors. That wasn’t romantic at all. “Please tell me you aren’t about to embarrass me right now.”

  “Nope.” Bree stood beside Ace and looked down into his face. “Ace has something to tell you. I’ll leave you two at it.” She patted him on the shoulder and walked out, leaving us alone in the silent kitchen. The only sound we heard was the dishwasher cleaning the plates we used for dinner.

  I watched Ace as I waited for him to talk to me. I didn’t know what this was about, but my imagination ran wild. I missed having him in my bed with me. I missed doing it against the garage door because we couldn’t make it to the bedroom. It was impossible for me to be alone with him without thinking dirty things.

  Ace stared at the table before he finally met my gaze. He shrugged before he spoke, the confidence rising in his expression. “I’m not sure where to start.”

  “The beginning usually works.”

  “Alright, the beginning…” He smiled slightly before he spoke. “You told me you wanted to be with me, that you’ve had feelings for me for a while. When I told you I didn’t feel the same, I was lying.”

  My eyes narrowed. “You were…?”

  “Yeah. The truth is, I didn’t want to get involved with you because of Evan. I knew you were going to get back together with him eventually. But that didn’t stop me from sleeping with you…all those times. But I broke it off with you when you told me he was trying to get you back. I just assumed I couldn’t compete with him, that I should bow out so you guys could be a family again.”

  I couldn’t believe this. I could have been with Ace months ago, but he hid this from me. I wouldn’t have slept with Evan in the first place if Ace hadn’t broken my heart.

  “Bree sticks her nose where it doesn’t belong, so she confronted me about it. I told her the truth but made her promise not tell you. This whole charade is her way of getting out of it.” He rested his hand on the table, three feet away from me. “She told me you still want to be with me. She also said if I didn’t do something now…you might get back together with him. So I’m throwing my cards on the table. I’m showing you my true colors. I’m finally being honest. I know I shouldn’t have waited so long, but I thought I was doing the right thing.”

  I still couldn’t believe this. This entire time he’d felt the way I did. “I don’t understand, Ace. You want me to get back together with Evan, or you don’t?”

  “Both,” he said. “I don’t want to stand in the way of you guys being a family. If you want to be with him, I’ll understand. But I want to know your answer right now. Because if I start to love you, and I get used to being with the girls all the time, and then you change your mind and want to be with Evan…it would kill me. Literally.” He leaned forward as he looked at me. “So I need to know. You can take some time to think about it. But really think about it.”

  “Ace, I’ve been in love with you for months…”

  “I know.” He gave me the same look he did when we were making love. It was intense and beautiful. “So I hope you pick me. But if there’s any doubt, you should think it over. Right now, we could still go back to being friends. But if we do this and you want to be with him, it’s gonna be difficult for us to find a new way to work with each other. It won’t be the same, Amelia. And more than anything, I don’t want to have you then lose you. It would suck.”

  My eyes softened.

  “So, that’s the truth. All of it. Ball is in your court, sweetheart.”

  “I
wish you told me this sooner.”

  “I thought I was doing the right thing…at the time.”

  If Ace and I were still seeing each other, I wouldn’t have gotten into bed with Evan. Now that I’d spent so much time with him, I didn’t hate him as much as I did before. I actually liked him. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t torn.

  Ace seemed to understand that. “You know where to find me.” He rose from the chair and dismissed himself from the conversation.

  I wasn’t ready for him to leave yet, not when he’d just walked into my life and told me all the things I wanted to hear. “Ace.”

  He stopped.

  I got up and walked toward him, feeling my fingertips go numb the second I was close to him. My heart worked ten times harder because the proximity was the biggest rush of adrenaline I’d ever received. I’d dreamt of nights when he was mine. I’d fantasized about the four of us being a family, of Ace being the husband who would always be faithful to me. We would grow old together and be buried beside one another.

  I hated myself for being unsure if I should pick Ace or not. But I couldn’t just let him walk out the door without feeling him, without kissing him. I rose on my tiptoes and kissed his mouth, feeling the coarse hair from his jaw as soon as we touched. Our mouths melted together like warm chocolate, and I felt that tightness between my legs. I immediately fell into him, moving into the counter as his tongue dove into my mouth.

  The chemistry was just as strong as ever, more powerful than it used to be. It made me shiver and cling to him more, desperate for the warmth I was addicted to. His hand moved into my hair the way I liked, and his rough fingertips caressed my soft skin.

  I loved it when he touched me like that.

  My hands explored his powerful body, and I moved my tongue into his mouth, feeling his own dance with mine. I breathed into him as he breathed into me, and before I knew it, my hands were at the top of his jeans and getting them loose.

  I got the button and fly undone then lifted his shirt over his head.

  Ace went with it, getting my top and bra off. He kissed my neck as he undid my jeans before he groped my left tit. When our clothes were gone, he lifted me onto the counter and sucked both of my tits until my nipples were nearly raw. His length was hard and long against the counter, and I couldn’t wait to feel that thick length inside me. My fingers dug into his hair, and I stopped myself from moaning by sheer force of will.