218 First Hugs Read online

“I don’t mind if I get to come back.”

  “Yes, you get to come back.”

  He gave me a quick kiss on the lips before he walked out with Dino. He gave Evan a cold glare as he passed and headed back to his house next door.

  “Come in.” I couldn’t believe I was inviting the devil into my house.

  “Thanks.” Evan shut the door behind him and stood in the living room. The fireplace was roaring and the TV was still on, but he didn’t take a seat.

  “What’s up?” I asked, hating the fact that I was looking at this guy.

  “I wanted to apologize for what happened today. I had no idea she was so unhinged, and I’m sorry you were ever in danger. I’m not only humiliated but terrified. If something had happened to either one of you, I never would have forgiven myself.”

  “You shouldn’t forgive yourself for being with her to begin with. This is all your fault.”

  He bowed his head. “I know.”

  “How could you leave Amelia for a stupid bitch like her?”

  He sighed. “I’d do anything to take it back. Trust me, you have no idea how much I hate myself, how much I hate my life. I had a beautiful family, and I threw it away for someone who didn’t matter. I miss my wife. Now I have an apartment by myself, and it’s so quiet that it haunts me.” He slid his hands into his pockets and stared at the floor. “I miss seeing my girls every day. I miss Amelia cooking for me. I miss everything. But I fucked it up.”

  I tried not to feel sympathetic because he didn’t deserve it, but when he sounded so sincere, it was hard not to.

  “Anyway…I talked to Rebecca, and I promise it won’t happen again. I told Amelia to press charges, but she didn’t want to do that. But it’s been handled. I don’t want you guys to feel scared.”

  “Scared?” I asked incredulously. “I’m not scared of that cunt. Anytime, anyplace, I’ll knock her out.”

  “I believe you.”

  Now that everything had been said and done, I wanted him to leave. I tapped my fingers against my arm as I waited.

  “I know it’s too late to say this, but I’m sorry for what I did to your sister. I know you’ve both had a rough time in life, and I didn’t take care of her when I promised to. I let you down, and I owe you an apology.”

  “I don’t accept your apology, Evan. If you were really upset, you would leave her alone. You had her, but you threw her away. Now it’s time for her to be with someone else.” Not Ace, specifically, but I wished it were Ace.

  What Evan said next surprised me. “I know she’s in love with Ace. But he was the one who called things off before I made my move. So I think it’s fair that I try to be a family again. It’s not like I’m interfering.”

  Ace called things off? They slept together one time months ago. Why would Amelia even tell Evan about her one-night stand? “Ace ended things?”

  “Yeah. They fooled around for a while, but then he lost interest.”

  Awhile? “How long?”

  Evan faltered when he realized his assumption had been wrong. I didn’t know anything about this. “I…I’m not sure.”

  I stepped forward. “Evan, tell me.”

  “I’m not sure,” he said with a sigh. “Maybe a few months. I thought she told you.”

  She’d been sleeping with Ace for months? They had a private relationship, and she didn’t even tell me? Ace was hooking up with her, but he still didn’t want to be with her? He just let Evan have her? This was so stupid my brain hurt. I couldn’t believe she’d lied to me—again. “I knew they hooked up one time, but I didn’t know it was an ongoing thing.”

  Evan rubbed the back of his neck. “I know you don’t like me, and you’re never going to like me—”

  “Damn right.”

  “But I love Amelia, and I want to be with her. I want to be a family again. If I have any chance of having that, I have to try. You know Amelia has been sleeping with me—”

  “You’ve been taking advantage of her.”

  His eyes narrowed in anger. “I’ve done a lot of stupid things I’m not proud of, but I’ve never taken advantage of Amy. Everything between us has been consensual. She still loves me, and I’ll always love her. We were married for eight years. Love like that doesn’t just go away.”

  “It went away when you left her.” I would never forgive him, not ever. I’d forgiven Cypress because that was a different circumstance. We were seeing each other for a few months when it happened. If we’d been married with children, then the act would have been unforgivable.

  Evan absorbed the insult with a clenched jaw. “I know I have a chance with her. Ace walked away, and I’m here. Amelia told me we’ll never get back together, but I know we could make it work if I’m patient with her. I intend to be patient with her for as long as she needs.”

  I didn’t want this to happen. I didn’t give a damn if Evan was the father of her kids. She deserved better. “Evan, if you really love her, now is your chance to prove it. Just leave her alone and let her find someone else. Let her find a man who gets it right the first time around.”

  He shook his head. “I can’t do that. I made a stupid mistake, and I was living in a fog. But when that fog bank disappeared, I could see clearly. I want to be with Amelia for the rest of my life, and I’ll be the best damn husband in the world. I won’t even look at another woman. I’ll be everything that she deserves.”

  Why couldn’t Ace fight for her like this? I knew Amelia would give in to Evan eventually since she was already sleeping with him. That never would have happened if Ace hadn’t walked away so soon. I was certain Evan was being sincere, but he didn’t get a second chance when there was someone better out there. “I hope you crash and burn.”

  * * *

  I pounded on the door until Amelia finally answered.

  “What?” she blurted. “Everything okay?”

  I yanked her outside and shut the door so the girls wouldn’t overhear us. “You’ve been sleeping with Ace for months, and you didn’t tell me?”

  Her eyes snapped open in disbelief.

  “Yeah, I know. How could you keep that from me?”

  She still didn’t respond, obviously surprised that I knew so much.

  “And it went on for months? Were you just hooking up? Was this a relationship?”

  “Bree…who told you?”

  “Does it matter?” I put both hands on my hips.

  Flustered and uncomfortable, Amelia could hardly look me in the eye. “Look, we didn’t plan on it happening. It just kept happening…over and over. We tried to stop, but then we’d be alone in a room together and we didn’t have the restraint.”

  “So this was just a hookup?”

  “Yeah,” she answered. “I hoped it would turn into something more the longer we kept doing it. But Ace was the one who called it off. He didn’t give much of a reason, just said it was wrong.”

  I bet he called it off when Evan was back in the picture—the damn idiot.

  “Who told you? I know it wasn’t Ace.”

  “Evan.”

  Her mouth dropped. “What? Evan? How?”

  “He came by the house and apologized about Rebecca. He mentioned Ace in passing, and then I pressed him on the topic until I got everything out of him.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest and sighed. “Goddammit, Evan.”

  “You’re mad that you couldn’t lie to me again?”

  She gave me the same attitude Mom used to give. “I don’t have to tell you every little detail about my sex life, alright? I knew what I was doing with Ace was stupid, and I wanted that stupidity to remain between Ace and me.”

  “But I could have helped you. If I’d known, I could have…” I had to keep my promise to Ace, so I shut my mouth.

  “Helped me?” she asked. “Helped me how?”

  “I don’t know,” I said with a shrug. “Never mind.” I changed the subject before she could press me on it. “Then Evan apologized to me for hurting you when he left. I didn’t accept his ap
ology.”

  “What else did he say?”

  “He’s gonna try to get you back. He acknowledges that he doesn’t deserve you, but he knows you still love him. The fact that you’re sleeping with him encourages him.”

  Amelia watched me, but her eyes showed her thoughts running wild.

  “Amy, please don’t get back together with Evan.”

  “I’m not,” she said quietly.

  “Yes, you are. I see it happening right in front of my eyes. You’re sleeping with him, aren’t you?”

  “I told him that was over.”

  “But you still love him, right?”

  She shrugged in acknowledgment. “No matter how long I live, I’ll always love the man I married. I can’t control that. Honestly, I wouldn’t want it any other way. He gave me two beautiful girls. I could never hate him.”

  “But that doesn’t mean you should go back to him.”

  “I never said I was, Bree.”

  “What about Ace?”

  “What about him?” she asked.

  “You still love him, right?”

  She rolled her eyes. “He doesn’t want me. He wanted to fuck me for a while, but that’s it. I need to forget about him and just move on.”

  “He doesn’t just want to fuck you.”

  “Then why did he leave?”

  Ugh, this sucked. I just wanted to blurt it out and tell her the truth. But my oath to Ace stopped me from betraying him. I was in the middle of the dumbest soap opera in the world. These two people could be together right now if they just stopped being so stupid. “Maybe he’s afraid to get involved with you when Evan is around.”

  “That doesn’t make any sense.”

  “It does. Maybe he’s afraid you’ll get back together with Evan and dump him.”

  She shook her head. “That would never happen.”

  “Maybe he doesn’t realize that. You should tell him…”

  “No. Ace is a confident man. He knows he doesn’t have to compete with anyone.”

  I was gonna scream. “Just don’t get back together with Evan, okay? Promise me.”

  She stared at me but didn’t move her lips.

  “Amy,” I pressed. “Promise me.”

  “You know I can’t make a promise like that. I honestly have no intention of getting back together with him right now, but in years to come, who knows? I’m not gonna make a promise I can’t keep.”

  That was both good news and bad news. “Fine. I’ve gotta go.” I turned around and walked away.

  “Uh, that was abrupt,” Amelia said. “Where are you going?”

  “I just have to take care of something. I’ll talk to you later.” I wasn’t going home or back to Cypress.

  I was going to Ace.

  * * *

  I pounded on his door just as I did to Amelia’s. I didn’t have the patience to knock once and take a step back. After my arm became fatigued from slamming against the wood, I rang the doorbell over and over.

  “What?” Ace yanked the door open in just his sweatpants, looking pissed off by the annoying way I got his attention. “Shit, I was taking a piss. Could you wait two seconds?”

  “No.” I invited myself inside. “I’m tired of waiting. You need to get your ass in gear and tell Amelia how you really feel. This game you’re playing is annoying, and I’m sick of it.”

  “I’m not playing any games.”

  I stomped my foot. “I know you’ve been sleeping with her for months now. You only broke it off recently.”

  The blood drained from his face.

  “Don’t worry, she didn’t rat you out. Evan did.”

  “Evan?” he asked. “He knew about it?”

  “Yeah. And once he found out you stopped seeing her, he’s been trying to get her back. He sees her as fair game.”

  Ace shut the door, his muscles rippling with the movement. He was so ripped it seemed like his body might split down the middle because his physique was so strong. “She is fair game. And I told you this would happen.”

  “Well, she told Evan that she’s in love with you.”

  Instead of tightening his body further, his entire physique relaxed in astonishment. “She said that? To him?”

  I wanted to grip my scalp and scream. “Yes. I’ve been trying to tell you that. She wants to be with you. But if you keep waiting, Evan is gonna get under her skin. It’s only a matter of time.”

  He moved his hands to his hips and stared across his living room at nothing in particular.

  “Ace.” I waved my hand in front of his face. “Yo.”

  “Hmm?” he asked without looking at me.

  “You still aren’t going to do anything? This is your one and only chance. Do something now or lose her forever. Because if you don’t do anything, she’s gonna keep sleeping with Evan until she falls for him again.”

  “Wait…she’s sleeping with him?”

  I didn’t want to share her secrets, but I thought Ace had the right to know. “Yeah.”

  He ran his hand through his hair, his face tinted red with anger.

  “But you can’t be mad. You left her, and she was depressed. So it’s not a surprise she jumped into bed with him. You rejected her.”

  “I didn’t reject her.”

  “From her point of view, you did. So what are you going to do?”

  He paced in his living room, his fingers resting against his chin. “I don’t know.”

  “You don’t know? Are you freaking kidding me?”

  “It’s complicated, okay? She’s sleeping with him now.”

  “But she would stop if you came into the picture.”

  “That’s what she says. Who knows how she would really feel if I said anything to her.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “Ace, I used to respect you. I used to see you as a strong man who fought for what he wanted. He wasn’t intimidated by anyone. But right now, frankly, you’re being a pussy.”

  He stared me down coldly.

  “So put on a shirt. You’re coming with me.”

  “Where are we going?”

  I marched to the door. “Just put on a shirt.”

  9

  Blade

  A week went by, and I didn’t speak to Celeste.

  I didn’t stop by her bakery to see her.

  I pretended she didn’t exist.

  Life became boring and mundane. I went to work then went home and played video games. Sometimes I would jog on the beach before the sun set, working out my frustration until my body was exhausted and I could get some sleep.

  Sometimes I wondered if I was overreacting.

  We never said we were exclusive. If she was seeing another guy in Carmel, would it have bothered me the same way? Was it the fact that the guy was in France? In the back of my mind, I knew the real reason why I was so upset.

  I’d already fallen for her.

  She was smart, ambitious, and intelligent. She was funny, sexy, and easygoing. There weren’t a lot of women like that in the world, and I was lucky enough to find one. She was my dream woman, the kind of lady who didn’t need a man to take care of her because she could take care of herself.

  Of course she had a boyfriend. Women like her weren’t single—ever.

  Was I a complete idiot for thinking I could actually have her?

  Yes. A big idiot.

  I tried to forget about her and return to my life the way it used to be. I considered picking up a woman in a bar so I wouldn’t feel so alone, but the idea of talking to a woman and pretending to have a good time was anticlimactic.

  There was only one woman I wanted.

  I went to Cypress’s place after work so we could play the new PS4 game that just came out. Bree wasn’t home, so he had free time.

  “How are things going with her?” Our beers sat on the table, and we had the controllers in our hands.

  “Really good,” Cypress said. “We had a long talk, and she warmed up to me again. We’ve been having a lot of sex too.” He waggled his eyebrows. “I
think we’re finally in a good place. Shouldn’t be any more bumps in the road.”

  “Don’t jinx yourself.”

  “I think we’ve had all the bad luck we’re gonna have. We pulled through.” We were working as a team in the game, cooperatively killing all the aliens in space so we could save Earth from extinction. “Anything new with Celeste…?”

  “We aren’t seeing each other anymore.”

  “I know, but have you talked to her?”

  “No.” I kept my eyes on the game.

  “Has she tried talking to you?”

  “No.” I didn’t expect her to either.

  “That’s too bad. I know you liked her.”

  “Yeah…” Should have known it was too good to be true.

  “You don’t want to keep hooking up with her for the summer?”

  Ace told me to do that, but I couldn’t go through with it. Too difficult. “No. I’ll get over it and find someone else.”

  Cypress dropped the subject and focused on the game. Dino lay right beside him on the couch, leaning against him with his chin resting on his thigh.

  My phone vibrated on the table, and I glanced down to check it.

  It was from Celeste. Hey, can we meet somewhere? I’d like to say something to you.

  I stared at the phone for another second and stopped paying attention to the game. An alien came by and blew me to pieces, and I barely noticed.

  “Dude, what the hell are you doing?” Cypress said. “How are we gonna save Earth at this rate?”

  I set the controller down and grabbed the phone. “Celeste texted me.”

  “She did?” He paused the game. “That’s ironic. What did she say?”

  “Says she wants to meet up.” I kept staring at the phone like she might text me again.

  “For a booty call?” Cypress asked.

  “No. She wants to talk.”

  Cypress grabbed the phone and read the message before he handed it back. “What are you going to do?”

  “I don’t know…”

  “I wonder what she wants to say. Maybe she dumped her boyfriend for you.”

  “I doubt it.”

  “How will you know until you talk to her?”

  “So you think I should meet her?” I asked.