Ray of Life Read online

  “And I’ll be second captain,” Rae said.

  “Why can’t I be second captain?” Zeke asked as he joined us on the court.

  “Because you’re too slow to call it,” Rae said. “So that’s too bad.”

  Zeke rolled his eyes but smiled at the same time. “Whatever you say, baby.”

  “Alright,” Rex said. “I call Zeke.”

  “Hey.” Kayden put her hands on her hips. “You pick him over me?”

  Rex shrugged. “That’s life, sweetheart. Sorry.”

  “I’ll make sure to say that to you later tonight,” she snapped.

  Tobias chuckled. “Ouch. If my lady wanted to play, I’d always pick her.”

  Rae went next. “I call Ryker.”

  “Ouch,” Tobias said. “You think he’s a better ball player than me?”

  “He’s better at three pointers than you are,” Rae said. “That’s just how it goes.”

  Rex went next. “I got Tobias.”

  Kayden stomped her foot. “So you don’t want to be on my team at all?”

  “Think about it this way,” Rex said. “Now I can cover you.” He winked.

  Kayden rolled her eyes then walked over to Rae. “Jackass.”

  “If it makes you feel any better, Zeke isn’t on my team either,” Rae said.

  She shot a glare at Rex. “It doesn’t.”

  “Alright,” Zeke said. “Let’s play ball.”

  “I can’t believe we got our asses kicked by two chicks.” Rex shook his head as he dribbled the ball down the sidewalk to Mega Shake.

  “I can,” Zeke said. “Michael Jordan has nothing on Rae.”

  “Yeah whatever,” Rex said. “She’s such a showoff.”

  Rae walked in the front with me and didn’t turn around. “I can hear you, you know.”

  Rex started talking louder. “I was hoping you could.”

  “You know, I was there too,” I said. “Made a lot of good shots.”

  Rae rolled her eyes. “They just can’t handle losing to a team with a chick on it. Rex is a sexist asshole like that.”

  “Am not,” Rex called from the back.

  We walked into Mega Shake and ordered our food before we sat down. I noticed Zeke and Rae didn’t necessarily sit together or try to be close to one another. I wasn’t sure if that was for my benefit or Rex’s.

  Rex sat beside Kayden, and when he placed his hand on her thigh, she swatted it away.

  “What?” he asked.

  “Don’t touch me like you didn’t just throw me under the bus back there.” She picked at her fries.

  “What bus?” Rex asked. “Look, when it comes to sports, I have to build the best team. How else am I going to beat Rae? I need to do it at least once.”

  “Instead of focusing on your team, maybe you should just suck less,” Rae jabbed.

  Zeke tried not to laugh, knowing he should remain objective between his girlfriend and best friend.

  “I don’t suck,” Rex snapped. He shoved a handful of fries into his mouth. “You suck.” His words could barely be understood because his mouth was so full.

  Rae threw a fry at him. “I know Mom taught you some manners.”

  “Well, he forgot them all,” Kayden said. “I’ll have to put him back into training.”

  “Isn’t there an obedience school just down the road?” I jabbed.

  Rex’s eyes narrowed at me. “They can talk shit. You can’t, asshole.”

  I kept a stoic expression despite the way the insult stung.

  “Rex.” Kayden smacked his arm. “That was not okay.”

  Zeke shook his head. “That was low, man. We’re all friends here. Let’s move on.”

  “Thank you,” Rae said to both of them. “I wish Rex shared our maturity.”

  Rex ate his burger, looking low now that he was outnumbered. “Sorry…I’ve always been weird about Rae.”

  “Yeah, I caught on to that,” I said sarcastically.

  Rex handed me his shake. “You wanna try mine? That’s as good as an apology, right?”

  I held up my hand. “Uh, I’ll pass. But thanks for the offer.”

  Rex pulled it back and took a drink. “Are you seeing anyone in the big apple?”

  “Kinda. A little. Not really.” I was seeing a really awesome girl until I fucked that up.

  Zeke was about to take a bite of his burger. “Wow…that’s a complicated answer.”

  “You know me.” I drank my soda. “I’ve always been the complicated type.”

  “So, what does that mean?” Rex asked. “Like, you aren’t sure if you want to be in a relationship? I was like that with Kayden until I realized I couldn’t live without her. Don’t worry about keeping your junk on the market. When you find the right woman, you’ll be glad she’s the only one you’re banging.”

  Kayden’s eyes softened because she obviously thought that was sweet.

  Rae looked at Zeke. “I’m so glad that’s not how you express your feelings to me.”

  Zeke chuckled. “That makes two of us.”

  “So what’s the deal?” Rex pressed.

  Rae knew the truth, but I wasn’t sure if I could tell them the same thing. “She’s still hung up on her ex. The guy cheated on her and left her for her best friend. But then he came back, and she’s not sure if she wants to be with him or not. So I bowed out.”

  “Oh…that’s brutal.” Rex gave me a look of pity, the one and only time he’d ever done such a thing. “Sorry, man.”

  “It’s okay,” I said. “If I’m gonna be with a woman, I don’t want to settle for half her heart.”

  “That’s totally fair,” Kayden said. “You did the right thing.”

  “But I miss her a lot. I think about her all the time.” The melancholy spread through me, making me confess things I wouldn’t normally say out loud. “I texted her a few times last night, and she never responded…so I can only assume she was with him.”

  They all gave me sad looks, actually feeling bad for me.

  I shouldn’t have told them that at all.

  Zeke was the first one to speak. “Sounds like you really like this girl.”

  I shrugged, downplaying the truth. “She’s pretty cool.”

  “Do you have a picture?” Kayden asked.

  I chuckled under my breath because my phone was full of nothing but her. “Yeah.” I pulled out my phone from my pocket and searched through the images until I found a really good one of her. She probably wouldn’t like me showing this picture to anyone, but I loved the way she looked in it. She was asleep beside me, but her mouth was slightly lifted in a smile like she was dreaming. Her eyelashes were dark and thick, and they contrasted against her ivory skin. Her shoulder was exposed because the sheets fell off her slightly. She was naked, but nothing could be seen in the picture except her neck and arm. I handed it to Kayden.

  Kayden stared at the screen before she smiled. “Aww…” She handed it to Rae.

  Rae stared at it for a long time, her eyes taking in every aspect of Austen. “Ryker, she’s beautiful. Look at those cheekbones, those lips. You took this when she was sleeping?”

  “Yeah,” I answered. “She still doesn’t know I took it.”

  Kayden handed the phone to Zeke. “Don’t give that to Zeke. I don’t want him to see her.”

  Zeke rolled his eyes, probably because her request was ridiculous. It didn’t matter how beautiful Austen was. He had Rae, so nothing could possibly impress him.

  Rex whispered under his breath. “Wow…” He felt Kayden’s terrifying look and quickly changed his tune. “Those sheets look really nice.” He handed the phone to Tobias so he wouldn’t get himself into deeper trouble.

  “Damn, she’s fine.”

  I took the phone back and stuffed it into my pocket. “She’s perfect, I know.”

  “Are you sure you can’t make it work?” Rex asked. “Come on, you’re rich and hot. You should be able to make her forget her ex. He’s a cheater anyway. Cheaters are assholes.” When
he realized how that statement would affect Zeke, he apologized. “I mean, not all. But you know, some of them…”

  Zeke bowed his head and threw more fries into his mouth, doing his best to sidestep the awkward topic.

  I tried to help him out. “I really like her, but since I still have feelings for Rae, it’s just not fair to her.” Like I suspected, that made everyone awkward, but for a very different reason. “We both like each other but we’ve got our baggage. It’s not exactly romantic.”

  Kayden was about to throw a few fries into her mouth, but missed and dropped them on the table. Rex tried to hide his discomfort by taking a big gulp of his milkshake. Zeke seemed indifferent to what I said even though he had every right to be uncomfortable.

  Rae was the only one who didn’t seem unnerved by my admission.

  I took the heat off Zeke, but now things were seriously tense. “So, that’s my love life…”

  “Honestly, that sounds pretty perfect to me,” Rex said.

  Did he not understand what I said? “Huh?”

  “You’re both trying to get over other people, right?” he asked. “I say keep sleeping together until you forget your exes. That’s what most people do anyway.”

  “But she wants to make it work with her ex,” I reminded him.

  “You know what I would do?” Tobias said. “I’d make her want to work it out with me instead.” He winked and sipped his milkshake.

  “Yeah…that’s what people keep telling me.” Even though it was a lot more complicated than they made it seem.

  “If Kayden was thinking about going back to her ex, I’d bang her until she couldn’t move,” Rex said.

  Rae cringed. “I guess I’m done eating…”

  “Like I don’t have to see you and Zeke make out all the time,” Rex snapped. “I can’t count the number of times I’ve thrown up.”

  I kinda wanted to throw up right now.

  “I’m just saying, don’t be the loser,” Rex said. “Woman like to be chased, to be pursued. If you chase her hard enough, she’ll forget that other guy. You’re hot stuff, so don’t forget that.”

  That was the second time he called me that.

  “Stop calling him hot,” Zeke said. “It’s weird.”

  “I’m not saying I think he’s hot,” Rex corrected. “I just know lots of women want to jump his bones. This woman isn’t immune. I’m sure the other guy has nothing on you.”

  “It sounds like you think he’s hot,” Tobias jabbed.

  “Actually, Nathan is a good-looking guy.” I understood why Austen had fallen for him to begin with. If he’d never cheated on her, he’d seem like a stand-up guy. He hit the gym religiously, had his shit together, and was always polite even when he was being insulted.

  Rex shook his head. “I’m sure you’re—”

  “Hotter?” Zeke finished.

  Rex nudged him in the side. “I was gonna say better.”

  Tobias rolled his eyes then ate a fry. “Sure you were.”

  I finished half of my burger then cut myself off. I couldn’t eat like this all the time or I wouldn’t keep my body fat below seven percent. And let’s face it, women liked it that way.

  “I have an idea,” Kayden said. “What if we help you?”

  “Help me?” I asked, having no idea how she could accomplish such a thing.

  “What’s that mean?” Rex asked. “He knows how to get pussy just fine.”

  “I mean, what if we come to New York and help,” Kayden said. “We could have one of us lure this guy away from her so you could have Austen all to yourself.”

  That was the last thing I wanted to do. “If I did that, it would hurt her. And I would never, ever hurt her.”

  Kayden’s eyes softened.

  Rae patted me on the back. “We’re sorry, Ryker. We all wish things could be different for you.”

  I believed her. I had my beef with Zeke and Rex, but they seemed to accepted me now. Their group was tight and cohesive, and they always fought each other’s battles. I was more honest with them than my own friends in New York. “I know.”

  Out of principle, I refused to text her.

  She never texted me back.

  But I wanted to talk to her. I missed her. My dick was hard for only one woman. I was still tempted to call Monica or pick up someone from a bar, but that would just make me feel worse. It would stop me from thinking about that beautiful brunette, but only for so long. Once I was finished, she would flood back into my mind.

  I lay in bed and looked out the floor-to-ceiling window to see the Seattle lights blanketed across the city. It was oddly similar to the view from my apartment in New York. My phone lay on my bare chest, the screen dark.

  Don’t text her.

  Don’t fucking do it.

  Go to sleep.

  I closed my eyes and tried to think about work, something that usually put me right to sleep because it was so boring. But my mind kept drifting back to the woman who stole my focus. Even though I was in the same city as Rae and spending time with her, I wasn’t thinking about her as much as I thought I would. Seeing her with Zeke didn’t kill me inside like I expected.

  Fuck it, I’m going for it.

  I opened her message app and typed. It hasn’t stopped raining since I got here. I actually miss the heat. It was a stupid opener, and I knew it. But I wasn’t on my game lately.

  The three dots didn’t appear.

  Maybe she was already asleep. When she looked at her messages in the morning, she would just think I was pathetic.

  As she should.

  My phone lit up and began to ring.

  Austen was calling me.

  I stared at the screen and cleared my throat. I answered with a deep voice, trying to seem casual when I was only worked up. “Hey, Stone Cold. Hope I didn’t wake you.”

  “No. I was playing Tetris on my phone.”

  “Tetris, huh?” She was such a nerd, but I loved it. “Are you any good?”

  “I’m badass, actually.”

  “Yeah?” I was miserable a second ago, but now I was smiling. “You’ll have to show me.”

  “I’ll play you.”

  “I accept your challenge.”

  “Hope you aren’t a sore loser,” she said with a smile in her voice.

  If she was the one beating me, then never. “I’m not sure. I always win.” Except in the case of both Rae and Austen.

  “So humble,” she said sarcastically.

  “We both know I’m a cocky asshole.”

  “At least you’re honest about it.”

  I chuckled into the phone then listened to the static over the line. If I was quiet enough, I could hear her breathe. It felt like she was right next to me, sharing my big bed and making me feel less alone.

  “Sorry I didn’t text you back yesterday.” Her voice turned quiet, heavy with guilt. “I just—”

  “You don’t have to explain anything to me.” Actually, I wanted to know if she was with Nathan. Did they sleep together? Was she too busy sticking her tongue down his throat to text me back?

  Jealousy was not a good color on me.

  “I just didn’t want you to think I was ignoring you.”

  “I’m too obnoxious to ignore.”

  “You’ve never been obnoxious,” she said with a laugh.

  “Really? Then we haven’t spent enough time together.” I wish we could spend more time together. I wish she were there with me now, or I was there with her. My cock hardened the longer I spoke to her, wishing he could be buried between her thighs.

  She fell quiet, sitting in comfortable silence with me over the phone.

  It was like having a quiet evening with your partner in the living room. The fire roared in the hearth and some random show was on the TV. There was no need to talk because silence was just as good as a great conversation.

  I knew she was seeing Nathan, but I couldn’t let her go. The only reason why she wouldn’t have texted me last night was because he occupied her bed. But e
ven then, I felt like I had a hold on her. “Were you with Nathan last night?” I shouldn’t have asked. I was just torturing myself.

  She hesitated before she answered. “Yeah…”

  I closed my eyes and my ran fingers through my hair. The truth was a death blow, and I thought I could take it better than I did. I guess some pills were just too big to swallow.

  “We had dinner then watched a movie.”

  Details I didn’t need to know.

  “I didn’t sleep with him.”

  She didn’t? My eyes snapped open and all the despair disappeared.

  “We kissed on the couch…and then I went home.”

  I didn’t like that part, but it was still better than them getting naked on the sheets. If she expected me to say something, she was going to be disappointed. I couldn’t think of a single response.

  “Have you met anyone over there?”

  “Yes. A woman stayed over last night.” I lied automatically, doing whatever I could to make myself feel better.

  “Ooh…”

  The second I heard the sadness in her voice, I felt terrible. Trying to make myself feel better made her feel worse. “Actually, I made that up. I’m sorry.”

  “Why did you lie?”

  “Just wanted to make myself feel better. But it just made me feel worse instead.”

  When she sighed into the phone, I wondered if her breath was full of relief.

  “I haven’t been with anyone. It’s hard to picture myself with anyone when I know how we feel about each other.”

  “I know what you mean.”

  My hand moved under the sheets, and I grabbed my length. My thumb brushed over my head and streaked the drop down my length. I closed my eyes and pictured Austen there with me, her perky tits right in my face while she rode me. “I wish I could be with you tonight…” I pictured her tongue licking over my length just the way my thumb did. My hand began to stroke up and down and my balls tightened at the touch.

  “Me too.”

  I would give anything for everything to be different. I would give anything for Rae and I to never have crossed paths. Or better yet, I would give anything to be totally over her right now.

  Anything at all.

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