Again and Again (Forever and Always #10) Read online

  “I’m sorry about that,” I said. “I’ve tried talking him down but he won’t budge.”

  “It’s okay.” Her eyes bubbled with tears but they didn’t fall. “I should go. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Monnique—”

  She walked through the crowd and left through the exit. I was rooted to the spot, watching her go. I shouldn’t have said yes to the coffee date, but I physically couldn’t say no. I was naturally drawn to her. She was a magnet and I was steel.

  7

  Scarlet

  Sean and I didn’t speak for the entire gala. Every time I looked at him, he was staring at me with the look I was accustomed to. But I liked it. I purposely did my hair and make up this way to torture him. I didn’t care how horny he was. He wasn’t getting anything from me.

  Diane managed to piss me off even more. She laughed and talked to Sean and Mike like they were a perfect family. I was really starting to hate this woman.

  Ryan and Janice were fighting, and Cortland was somber about something Monnique said to him. My husband was pissed at me so I felt like I was alone. I got an ice water and tried not to cry. I tried not to let Diane bother me but she did. I just wanted to be accepted and loved. I never received that from my own parents. It was missing.

  “Dance with me.”

  I flinched and almost spilled my water. I didn’t even notice Sean was there. “No, thank you.” I kept my face away from his sight. I didn’t want him to know how upset I was.

  “Come on. We haven’t spoken once. We need to act like we’re actually married in front of these people.”

  “You sound like your mother,” I snapped. “Image is everything.”

  He sighed. I could hear the frustration in his voice. “Scarlet, just dance with me.”

  “No.” I acted like I was fascinated by the collection of wines and booze.

  He grabbed my arm and forced me to face him. When he saw my face, his eyes softened. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

  I pulled away. “Nothing.”

  He hooked his arm around my waist. “You’re about to cry. I can see it.”

  “I hate your fucking mother.” I’ve never sounded so cold. I felt like a bitch saying it, but it’s how I felt.

  “I hate her too.” He said it with a straight face. “I’m just putting on a show so all our employees think we’re a happy family. Believe me. I’m not okay with the way she’s treating you. I’ll never be okay with it.”

  I stared at his chest, unable to meet his gaze.

  “Now I want to dance with you.”

  “No, you don’t.”

  “When you look hot like that, I do.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest.

  He hooked his arm around my waist then pulled me close to him. I didn’t feel like fighting right now. I gave in and let him hold me. His other hand moved up and down my back, relaxing me. I closed my eyes and tried to forget about all the noise in the room.

  Sean pulled me to the dance floor. His hand moved around my waist and the other held my hand in his. He swayed me back and forth, pressing his face to mine. He looked so handsome in his suit. I knew we were both trying to antagonize the other with our sex appeal. He kissed my forehead and continued to dance with me. I wasn’t sure if it was an act or he really just wanted to kiss me. When the song was over, he looked at me.

  “Feel better?”

  “A little.”

  Diane approached us, a glare on her face. “We’re still missing the other half of the check we gave your mother.”

  Seriously? She was going to do this now? I was extremely close to punching her right in the nose then again in the mouth.

  Sean was angry too. “If you want me to act like I actually like you, I suggest you don’t harass my wife. I will embarrass you so quickly. Don’t fuck with me.”

  Her eyes widened at his words then she stormed off.

  Could this week get any worse? The stress was killing me. “I’m going home.”

  “The gala isn’t over yet.”

  “I don’t give a shit.” I pulled away from him then headed to the door. I’d take a cab home if I had to. I wasn’t going to stand in there with the Prestons and pretend I was one of them.

  Sean ran after me then grabbed my arm when I was on the sidewalk. “I’ll take you home.”

  “I’m fine. Go join your perfect family!” I raised my arm and waved down a cab.

  “Don’t you even think about doing it!” He grabbed my wrist and yanked me back. Then he told the cab to keep going. “I’ll take you home.”

  “I don’t want to look at you.”

  “I’m not happy with you either.”

  Ryan and Cortland came outside when they realized something wasn’t right.

  “Everything okay?” Ryan asked timidly.

  “For once, could you just give my wife and I a second?” Sean snapped.

  Cortland shifted his weight. “Ryan, let’s go back inside.”

  I pushed Sean away from me. “This marriage is a fucking joke. How can I be your wife when your family doesn’t even like me? I’m a damn embarrassment to all of you. Let’s just get a divorce.”

  Sean stilled and his eyes widened.

  Cortland gasped, and Ryan ran his fingers through his hair.

  The tears poured down my face. I didn’t look at Sean.

  “Take that back,” he said quietly.

  I didn’t say anything.

  “Don’t let my mom get to you. She’s a stupid bitch and I fucking hate her guts. I shouldn’t have even came to this damn gala, but I did because it was important to my dad, who I actually love and respect. Don’t let her make you this upset.”

  “I just want to go home…”

  “Not until you take that back. I need to hear you say that.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest.

  “Scarlet,” he pressed. The need and fear was in his voice. His eyes were so wide I thought they would pop.

  “Okay,” I whispered.

  “What?” he said. “Okay what?”

  “I take it back.”

  He breathed a sigh of relief. “Now I’ll take you home.” He wasn’t so aggressive but I could tell he was pissed at me for what I said.

  Ryan and Cortland crept back into the building to give us privacy. The shit just hit the fan.

  Sean walked beside me as we headed to the car. His hands were in his pockets and he didn’t touch me. When he got behind the wheel, he still didn’t touch me. We drove home in silence. I knew Sean broke the speed limit when he drove alone, but when he was with me, he always obeyed all the rules, even driving too slow sometimes.

  When we finally walked inside the house, I darted up to our bedroom and pulled the earrings from my ear lobes. I waited for Sean to come to bed but after several minutes, he didn’t. I knew I crossed a line that could never be uncrossed. I didn’t mean it. I was just so upset that I broke down.

  After I changed into my nightdress, Sean charged into the bedroom. He grabbed me then pushed me down on the bed, pinning me so I couldn’t move. “Don’t you ever fucking say that to me again!” The anger burned in his eyes. For the first time, I was actually scared of him. “I’m your husband and I’m going to stay that way. I’ll never give you a divorce and I’ll never let you go. If you say that to me again, you better fucking mean it.” He released me then barged out of our room, slamming the door so hard, it fell off the hinges.

  My heart raced in my chest. I caught my breath, still remembering the way he yelled at me. I wish I hadn’t said that. It was the worst thing I could possibly do. Now I pushed my husband away, the only person who was on my side from the beginning.

  8

  Cortland

  I got to the coffee shop early and sat in the corner. I didn’t know what to say to Monnique. How do I act? Should I hug her? What the hell am I doing here? My mind raced at the speed of light until she walked inside.

  She wore tight leggings and a white blouse. I liked it when she wore white b
ecause it looked good against her skin. When she spotted me, she approached the table. I stood up, automatically.

  She stood awkwardly in front of me.

  Do I hug her?

  She waited for me to embrace her, and when I didn’t, she sat down with a frown on her face. I took my seat across from her and cleared my throat.

  “You already ordered?” she asked.

  “Chai tea latte?” I asked. It’s what she always got.

  She nodded. “Thank you.”

  I had a black coffee. I never drank anything else.

  She sipped it. “It’s good.”

  “Yeah.”

  “So…was the rest of the gala fun?” she asked.

  “Not really,” I said bluntly. “Sean and Scarlet had the worst fight they’ve ever had.”

  “I wondered why he slept on the couch.”

  “Shit, that is bad.”

  “What happened?” she asked.

  “Scarlet blew up and said they should get a divorce.”

  Her mouth dropped. “What?”

  “I know she didn’t mean it. She’s just upset about his mom and the money issue. To be honest, I don’t blame her. Someone can only take that torment for so long, you know?”

  “That was still extreme.”

  “I know it was.”

  She played with the sleeve of her coffee and avoided my gaze. I knew she was nervous. I was nervous too. I wondered why she wanted to get coffee today. Did she have something she wanted to say to me?

  “Cortland, I miss you,” she blurted. “A lot.”

  “I miss you too,” I whispered. I shouldn’t have said that but I couldn’t deny the feelings in my heart.

  “I’ll do anything for another chance. Every time I look at you, I want to be in your arms. Every day without you is excruciating. I know you said you’re done with me, but I see the way you look at me. It’s the same way you’ve always look at me. You’re just as in love with me as you were the first time we made love.”

  “I never said that changed.”

  “Then work it out with me,” she pleaded. “You would rather force yourself to move on with someone else when you’re only going to think of me?”

  No. I didn’t want that.

  “We can take this as slow as you want. I realize I have to regain your trust. That isn’t going to happen overnight. I realize that.”

  “I don’t know…”

  “Yes, you do,” she said firmly. “Yes, you do.”

  “Where was this three months ago? I told you how much I loved you, but you were determined not to believe me.”

  “Because I was being stupid,” she said bluntly. “That’s why.”

  “What did you do in Seattle? Did you date anyone?”

  She looked offended. “Of course not. I stayed home every night and barely ate. You think I could just move onto someone else that quickly?”

  “Well, you were the one who broke it off. I wasn’t sure…”

  “No, Cortland. There’s only been you.”

  “But I guess there’s no way for me to know if you’re lying.” That was a mean thing to say but I couldn’t help myself.

  “You can call my brother and ask him. He was with me nearly the entire time. I was home every night. I never talked to anyone. I didn’t go anywhere.”

  Monnique didn’t seem like she would sleep with someone else so quickly, but then again, she didn’t seem like she would leave me either.

  “Cortland, I’ll marry you today if that’s what it takes to convince you.” The desperation escaped in her voice.”

  “Monnique, love is not the issue. Yes, I love you. And even now I want to take you back and marry you. But I’m hurt. And that’s the part you can’t fix. I feel resentful toward you. I can’t just forgive you for everything you did to me.”

  She nodded. “I know…”

  I stared out the window.

  “I’ll wait as long as I have to,” she said gently.

  “Honestly, I don’t know if I’m ever going to come around.”

  “I know you will,” she said. “Because you’ve never loved anyone the way you love me.”

  Her confidence warmed my heart even though it shouldn’t.

  “Hazel is a very pretty girl.”

  What was her point?

  “And I don’t see anything in your eyes when you look at her. You’re completely immune to her, to all women.”

  She knew me well after all.

  “Because I’m the only girl in your heart. If you still love me this much after three months, honor that emotion and give me another chance. I’m not going to stop until I know you’ll never change your mind indefinitely.”

  I didn’t know what to say. I stared at my coffee.

  “Come over,” she whispered.

  “What?”

  “Come over.”

  I knew exactly what she wanted to do.

  “When we make love, you’ll understand just how much I love you.”

  God, that was tempting. I hadn’t gotten laid in three months. My dick was about to fall off. But I couldn’t do that. My emotions would manipulate me. “No.”

  She sighed, disappointed.

  This was too hard for me. I couldn’t think clearly when this beautiful woman sat across from me. My control and pragmatism went out the window. I wanted to combine my body with hers and get back to where I wanted to be. All her words soaked through my skin, making me feel joy and pain at the same time. “I have to go…” I stood up then took a deep breath.

  She looked out the window. “Okay.” She didn’t fight me.

  I walked out then headed up the sidewalk, the opposite way of my car. I didn’t know where I was going but I didn’t need a direction. I was lost—completely lost.

  9

  Sean

  I slept on the couch for the next week. I was fucking pissed.

  I couldn’t believe she said that to me. There was nothing worse she could have done. I was constantly scared she would leave me because I wasn’t good enough for her, but for her to actually say the words stopped my heart in my chest. My world fell apart. All I saw was darkness.

  I knew things weren’t the best between us. I knew we’d been arguing about a plethora of problems. But I never thought it was that bad. I still loved Scarlet more than anything. There’s no one in the world I’d rather fight with than she.

  I was so angry. I was already upset with her but now I was livid. Those were words that should never be said unless they were sincere. Scarlet didn’t talk to me or try to apologize. She stayed away from me, knowing I had to resolve my anger before I could talk to her.

  When I came home from work, I went running on the beach and stayed outside for most of the afternoon. The waves calmed me and made me relaxed. I finally went inside and got into the shower. Scarlet was in her office, where she hid from me.

  I came downstairs and opened a beer and ordered a pizza. She and I didn’t share dinner together. I acted like she didn’t exist. I came home every night only because I knew she was uncomfortable being in the house alone. And I was a pussy and was scared my wife might need me.

  She came downstairs but didn’t walk past me. Instead, she sat on the couch next to me. It was the closest we’d been for days.

  “Can we talk?” she whispered.

  I turned off the game then leaned back. I didn’t look at her.

  “I wanted to apologize for what I said.”

  Finally.

  “I didn’t mean it. I was just upset about your mom and our fight…everything hit me all at once. It was pure pandemonium. I take back what I said and I’ll never say it again.”

  Those were the words I’d been waiting to hear for a week. “You have no idea how much that shit hurt.”

  “I know,” she said gently. “I’d be upset if you did the same to me.”

  “No, you would never forgive me,” I snapped. “Because you’re stubborn.”

  She didn’t deny that. “Do you forgive me?”


  I don’t know. I was still mad. “If you were someone else, I’d leave you.”

  She took a deep breath.

  “So, you’re lucky I love you so fucking much. You could do everything and anything and it will never change my feelings for you. But I’m sick of the way you treat me. Every time I do the right thing to protect you, you get pissed at me and call me a jackass. Scarlet, you need to pull your head out of your ass and knock it off. I gave your mom the money because I had to. Believe me, I’m not normally that generous. So stop acting like I’m the bad guy.”

  “I know…”

  I shook my head. “I understand why you were so upset. I get it. I really do. But I honestly think your dad would have wanted it to work out the way it did. Your mom has no reason to bother you and she didn’t ruin the best day of your life, where all our friends and family would have witnessed it. I know he’d want you to have the happily ever after you deserved.

  “I’m not going to apologize for what I did. It was the best decision at the time, and you need to understand that I do everything for you. You’re always first, Scarlet. I’m sick of being compared to the guy I used to be. You said we moved on from that but clearly we haven’t. You still resent me for it. I think almost running out on our wedding is punishment enough.”

  “I know.” She blinked her tears away. “I know.”

  “So, you owe me an apology.”

  “I’m sorry,” she said quickly. “I’m sorry.”

  Seeing her cry and apologize broke down all my walls. I pulled her into my lap and pressed her face into my shoulder. “It’s okay.”

  She sobbed loudly. “I’m sorry.”

  “Shh…” I kissed her forehead then her tears.

  “Everything just got under my skin and I got so upset…”

  “I know, baby.”

  “I never want to get a divorce. I love you. I just wished your mom liked me.”

  “Fuck her,” I said firmly. “I don’t give a shit what she thinks.”

  “I still wish things were different.”

  I picked her up and carried her into our bedroom. We hadn’t made love in a week and we needed to do it now. Somehow, everything was better when we connected to one another, sharing a profound moment of intimacy.