When We Break Read online

  I reached Cortland’s floor then approached his office. The door was open and he was typing on his computer. His blond hair was identical to Cayson’s, and it was startling how similar they looked. “May I come in?”

  Cortland took his eyes off the screen. “Of course. You own this company. You can come in whenever you want.”

  I stepped inside and smiled. “Not really. But thanks for flattering me.” I sat across from his desk.

  Judging the stiffness of Cortland’s shoulders, he knew exactly why I was there. He rested his hands on the desk and released a deep sigh. “So…do you want to talk first?”

  “You can have the floor if you wish.”

  “Maybe you should go first.” He rubbed his chin and watched me with careful eyes.

  “Okay…” We were on opposite sides of a battlefield and it was extremely awkward, especially since we were so close. “I think we can both agree that we want the best for Cayson and Skye. That’s all I want to talk about. What’s best for them.”

  He nodded. “That’s something we can agree on.”

  “Have you spoken to Cayson?”

  “Very little. He’s avoiding me because he doesn’t want to talk about it.”

  “I don’t blame him. He’s going through a rough time.”

  “How’s Skye?”

  “Exactly as you would imagine.” Depressed, lost, and broken. “Cortland, I think it’s in their best interest to be together. Or do you disagree?”

  He was quiet for a long time.

  “Or do you not agree?”

  “I think Skye should have believed Cayson was innocent the moment he said he was. My son isn’t a cheater. And he’s certainly, absolutely not a liar. The fact she would think so little of my son hurts both Monnique and I. We both know that if Monnique and I were in the same situation, she would take my word over some random girl. And you and Sean would do the same. The lack of belief in Cayson is simply…wrong.”

  I couldn’t deny that. “I agree with you.”

  He raised an eyebrow like he was surprised.

  “But I also think Skye was pregnant…and emotional. And Cayson was far away for three months and they hardly got to speak to each other. The situation has a lot of factors going on. While I respect Cayson and what he did, both you and Sean would never leave your wives—for any reason.”

  He watched me with guarded eyes.

  “My point is, the situation is not black and white. Skye made a mistake and she obviously regrets it. Are you saying that Skye and Cayson should go their separate ways?” I found that hard to believe.

  “No.” The response came out abrupt. “But I think Cayson has every right to be upset.”

  “I do too. But I think he should be upset while they stay married.”

  “Skye is the one who filed for divorce to begin with—when he didn’t do anything wrong.” It was clear he was a little resentful toward Skye for hurting his son.

  I understood that. “Cortland, she made a mistake. You won’t hear her make excuses for it. I won’t make excuses for it either. No one is saying Cayson is wrong for being upset. But I think the important thing we need to do here is move on and make sure these two stay together.”

  “But that’s out of our control,” Cortland said. “I can make Cayson do anything.”

  “But you can talk to him.”

  He sighed like he didn’t have any interest in that.

  “Make him see reason. We know he loves Skye very much. They should be together.”

  “If I pressure him, he’ll push me away.”

  “So be it,” I said. “You need to do the right thing.”

  “You act like I have a lot of power when it comes to my son. He’s a man and makes his decisions on his own. I have no control in that regard.”

  “You have a lot of power,” I said frankly. “Tell him about your relationship with Monnique.”

  He gave me an irritated look. “I’m not telling Cayson what she did. It was twenty years ago. Let’s move on.”

  “You don’t have to go into detail. But I think you should tell him that you forgave her because you love her. And you’ve never regretted it.”

  “I’m not going to tarnish his mother’s image.”

  “Then don’t tarnish it,” I said. “She was twenty something years old when it happened. No one would hold that against her—especially Cayson.”

  “I’m willing to do anything for my son—but I won’t betray my wife.”

  “I’m not asking you to,” I said gently. “But talk to her and see how she feels about it.”

  He shook his head.

  “The bottom line is, those two are better together than they are apart. And they have a baby on the way. If there’s any way we can fix this, we need to try.”

  “Unlike what Sean thinks, we can’t control the universe.”

  “No. But we can manipulate it.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Cayson

  I’d settled into my new place. It was much better than the tiny apartment above the shop, but it still didn’t feel like home. The king size bed in the bedroom was comfortable and new, but sleep was difficult for me to find. It didn’t feel right without Skye beside me—even though I’d been sleeping alone for two months.

  The floor-to-ceiling windows gave a great view of the city, and I found myself staring out into the night more than watching my own TV. Now that I had my own place I realized the severity of the situation.

  My marriage was really over.

  I sat on the couch and drank my beer while I looked out at the city below my feet. My thoughts wondered to Skye and what she was doing. My fingers absent-mindedly touched the black wedding band sitting on my ring finger.

  There was a knock on the door.

  My thoughts immediately went to Skye. She hadn’t contacted me since I retrieved my things from the house. I expected her to call me or swing by the apartment but she never did.

  It surprised me.

  Perhaps that was her now, ready to convince me to give our marriage another chance. When I looked through the peephole, I realized it wasn’t her.

  It was my dad.

  “Hey, Pop,” I said as I opened the door. “What brings you here?”

  He wore jeans and a t-shirt, not wearing slacks and a collared shirt like usual. “I was in the neighborhood and wanted to stop by. I haven’t seen your new place yet.”

  “Come in.” I shut the door behind him then headed to the fridge. “You want a beer?”

  “Sure.”

  I twisted off the cap then handed it to him.

  “I can take the lid off my own beer.” He wore an amused smile.

  “I don’t know…you probably have arthritis or something.”

  He chuckled then scanned the apartment. “It’s nice…”

  “Yeah, I like it. It’s close to work and to the private schools where my son will probably attend.” I sat on the couch and turned on the TV.

  He sat beside me and looked around. Then he turned his gaze on me and studied me for a long time. “You seem to be doing well.”

  “I’m okay.” I wasn’t exactly miserable, but I was far from happy. The anger still plagued me day and night. The way Skye tortured me for two months without mercy continued to haunt me. She never believed in me even though I’d only proved how trustworthy I was.

  “Is there anything you need?”

  “No. I’m fine.” I hoped he wasn’t going to try and talk me into taking Skye back. I knew my parents loved Skye like their own daughter. Everyone kept telling me I needed to give my marriage another chance but they didn’t know how it felt to be treated like a criminal for two months.

  “Skye has been…taking it pretty hard.”

  Here we go. “I know.”

  “She hasn’t been working much. She usually stays home.”

  “She should rest anyway.” I took a drink and looked out the window.

  “Cayson, I think it’s pretty clear how sorry she is.”

&nbs
p; I sighed and tried not to snap at my father. “Dad, please stay out of it. You’re more than welcome to come over and hang out, but please don’t feed me advice about my marriage. I’d been nothing but perfect for her since the very beginning and the fact she didn’t have any faith in me is just wrong.”

  “I don’t blame you for being mad, Cayson.”

  “You don’t?” I asked in surprise.

  “Not at all. It would piss anyone off.”

  “Thank you.” About time someone said something. “How can I be with someone who thinks so little of me? How can I be with a woman who doesn’t trust me? I’ve never given her any reason to doubt me. I didn’t deserve that mistreatment.”

  “You’re right.”

  Maybe Dad was on my side after all.

  “But…does it really matter when she’s the love of your life?” He regarded me with a stern expression.

  “What does that mean?”

  “Skye really messed up. No one will tell you otherwise. But does it matter what she does when she’s the only woman you’ll ever love? Does it really matter if you can’t live without her? We can’t choose who we love, Cayson. Your heart chose Skye a long time ago. You’re stuck.”

  I looked out the window again. “Are you implying I should let her treat me however she wants just because I’m so desperately in love with her? I should let her walk all over me like a door mat?”

  “No, not at all. But I think Skye is your only chance of happiness and you should keep trying to make it work.”

  I sighed. “Dad, just let it go. I’m not putting up with her shit anymore. She hurt me in a way you’ll never understand.”

  “Actually, I do understand.”

  I turned to him, interested. “Yeah? How so?”

  “Your mother and I broke up for a long time before we got married.”

  Both of my eyebrows shot up. “What?” He never told me this story before.

  “It seems like an eternity has passed…” He felt the label of the beer in his hands. “I don’t want to get into the specifics of what your mother did because I don’t want you to think less of her, but let’s just say she really hurt me. I was madly in love with her. The second I set eyes on her, I knew she was the one. I wanted her to have my children and make a home for me. I was head-over-heels for her, to say the least.”

  I listened without blinking.

  “When she hurt me, I didn’t think I could get over it. The pain weighed on my shoulders every single day. I couldn’t even look at her the same. Everything was…different. I tried to forget about it but I couldn’t. Then I realized it wasn’t going to work. I couldn’t forget what she did. So…I broke up with her and moved on.”

  Wow. I couldn’t believe this.

  “I started dating again and went out with a few girls. I met someone I really liked. She was really cool and sweet…but the longer I spent time with her the more depressed I became.”

  “Why?”

  “Because this woman was perfect but I still didn’t feel anything for her—nothing. And that’s when I knew I would never fall in love with anyone but your mother. Despite what she did, I was doomed to love her forever. I could be with as many women as possible but it wouldn’t make a difference.”

  “Then you went back to her?”

  “Not necessarily. During this time, we were friends…in a way. We hung out in the same group so I couldn’t get away from her. She was depressed over what happened but she didn’t chase me because she knew she was wrong. But she still looked at me like she loved me and that was more than enough. So…we started hanging out again as friends. We took it slow until I could trust her again. And finally…it just happened.” He turned to me and watched my expression. “I didn’t think it was possible for us to come back from that. But after I’d been around and explored what else was out there I realized that I would much rather have a less than perfect relationship with your mother instead of forcing myself to love someone else. And I’ve never regretted that decision.”

  His words echoed in my mind long after he said them. “What did Mom do?”

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  “Did she cheat on you?” I couldn’t picture that.

  “No, she would never do that. It was something else.”

  I drank my beer and considered his words.

  “The point of the story is, if you love Skye as much as you do then give her another chance.”

  “I do love her…”

  “Then make it work, Cayson.”

  “But I…can’t picture myself ever getting over this. I don’t trust her. She insulted me so deeply…how can I just get over that?”

  “You will—eventually.”

  I shook my head. “Dad, I know it worked for you and Mom but I don’t think it’ll work for us. And I already know I’ll never love someone else. I doubt I’ll ever get remarried. That’s not what I’m looking for.”

  “Then what?” Dad asked. “You’re just going to be alone for the rest of your life?”

  “No…I’ll have my son.”

  “And when he grows up and starts his own family what will you have? What about when Skye remarries and has more children? What will you do then?”

  I stared out the window.

  “You’re smart, Cayson. You know that path will only lead you to an empty and unfulfilling life.”

  “But being with her will make me feel just as empty.”

  Dad sighed like he was frustrated with me. “Take as much time as you need to get over it. Skye will wait for you. But don’t divorce her.”

  “Why?”

  “Because divorce is final. Don’t take that route.”

  “I don’t want to lead Skye on.”

  “You don’t have to. Make it very clear what’s going to happen.”

  I shook my head. “Dad, I appreciate all of the advice but this is my marriage. Please stay out of it.”

  A sad look overcame his face.

  I finished my beer and set it on the coffee table. “You should probably go. I have a long day tomorrow.”

  Dad watched me for a long time. His eyes honed in on my swollen lip. Sean punched me a week ago but there was still a slight bruise there. “What happened to your face? Did Skye hit you?”

  “No, it was a different Preston.”

  His eyes narrowed and the sadness escaped his features. “Which Preston?”

  I knew I was throwing Sean under the bus but I didn’t care. He hurt me just as much as Skye did. He walked out on me when I needed him. All his words of fatherly love were empty. I was more likely to forgive Skye than to forgive him. “Sean Preston.”

  An explosion happened behind Dad’s eyes. He immediately stood up, his shoulders tense. His arms shook slightly. “Sean punched you? Sean put his hand on you? My son?” His voice hit a new pitch. The rage was evident in his eyes.

  “Well, I did push him first.” I had to admit that.

  “And he punched you?” Steam was blowing out of his ears.

  “It was when he thought I cheated on Skye—”

  He stormed out without saying goodbye to me. “That motherfucker is about to die.” He slammed the door so hard I was certain my neighbors heard it.

  I returned to staring out the window, not caring what my dad planned on doing to Sean.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Trinity

  Our results were ready.

  We had an appointment with our doctor to discuss them.

  I was absolutely terrified. There’s nothing I wanted more than a family. If I couldn’t have children…I would be devastated. What if there was something wrong with me? What if I was barren? What if I couldn’t give my husband babies?

  I grabbed my purse off the counter but dropped it by mistake. Then my phone fell out and the screen cracked. Unable to sit still or calm down, I was knocking everything over like I lost all my control over my nervous system.

  Slade grabbed my purse and phone off the floor then set it on the counter. He stared into my fac
e with a look of husbandly concern. “Baby.”

  I wouldn’t make eye contact with him.

  “Baby, look at me.”

  I was on the verge of tears. I needed to know if there was something wrong but now I was terrified.

  He cupped my face and forced my gaze on him. Confidence shined in his eyes. “Everything is going to be okay.”

  The tears started to form. “But what if it’s not?”

  “It will,” he said firmly. “Even if it’s not, we’ll figure it out.”

  “What if I can’t give you children?”

  “I’ll love you just as much, Trinity. Nothing will ever change what we have. I’ll never think less of you.”

  I closed my eyes and felt the tears fall.

  “Baby.” His voice broke with emotion. “If you are barren, there are other ways for us to have children. We can do a surrogate or we can adopt. We will have children one way or another. Don’t worry about that.”

  My hands rested over his.

  He kissed the corners of my eyes and absorbed my tears with his lips. His touch was gentle but contained his desperation to make me feel better. Slade was rough around the edges and sometimes harsh, but he was never like that with me. He was nothing but tender and loving. “Everything will be okay. I promise.”

  I opened my eyes and saw the same emotion written all over his face. Slade wasn’t heartfelt and easily moved. He was exactly the same as he used to be, detached and strong. But whenever he saw me in pain, he broke down.

  “We’ll get through this together.” He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to his chest, the safest place in the world. “We’re going to have the most beautiful children in the world, Trinity. I’ll make sure it happens.”

  I nodded into his chest.

  He pulled away and wiped my tears away. “We need to go. Are you ready?”

  “Yes…because of you.”

  His eyes softened before he kissed me again. “Come on, let’s go.”

  ***

  We sat together on the couch with her hands clamped tightly together. Slade glanced at me every few minutes, making sure I was okay and not bursting into tears.

  The doctor flipped through the paperwork on his desk before he looked at us. “Are you ready?”