I Will Love You Read online

  I wish I didn’t find him so charming. But I knew I would always find him charming.

  ***

  Ward pulled up to his mother’s house. “Here we are.”

  My heart was racing. Ward was excited about this but I wasn’t.

  He parked the car then killed the engine. “Ready, darling?”

  I didn’t want him to call me that, not yet. But I loved hearing it so much I didn’t ask him to stop. “Yeah…”

  Ward picked up on my anxiety. “What are you afraid of?”

  “I’m pregnant and we aren’t married…”

  He smiled slightly. “My parents aren’t going to care. They’ll be so thrilled that I’m starting a family that they won’t care at all.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yes.” He gave me a firm look. “And they already love you. Don’t stress about it.”

  “Willow…” That’s all I needed to say.

  “I’ll take care of her,” he said.

  “Good luck with that.” I looked out the window.

  “There is one thing I’d like to ask of you…but if you say no I understand.”

  “What?” I asked.

  “This would be a lot easier for both of us if we just pretended we were together…romantically. I know you and I are trying and I don’t want to put any pressure on our already strained relationship but it would probably be less stressful. Just having to explain our relationship would take three hours.”

  That made sense to me. “Sure.”

  “You’re sure?” he asked.

  “Yeah.”

  “Great.” He got out of the car and came around to get me. Just like when we were together, he grabbed my hand and pulled me to my feet before he shut the door.

  I wore a loose dress but my baby bump couldn’t hide. “Do they know I’m pregnant?”

  “No.” He smiled. “And they’ll be so excited.”

  “You’re dropping a bomb on them, Ward,” I said. “I’m almost five months along.”

  “I know.” He put his arm around my waist. “But it’ll be fine.”

  His hand felt foreign on me but I liked it. I missed the way he used to touch me. It took all my strength not to leave my bedroom and snake into bed with him. I hadn’t had a man’s touch in so long and I craved it. My hormones made me want it even more.

  Ward walked into the house without knocking and kept me close to him. “Mom, we’re here.”

  “I’m almost done in the kitchen,” she called. “I’ll be right there.”

  Ward looked down at me and gave me an encouraging smile.

  I stared back with fear in my eyes.

  “I made your favorite pie, Ward,” his mom said as she came our way with a pie in her hands. When she came closer to us, her eyes moved to my stomach. Then she dropped the pie and screamed. “OH MY GOD!”

  Ward gave me a triumphant look.

  “You’re pregnant!” His mom wouldn’t stop screaming. “This is unbelievable! Tom, get your ass in here!” Her hands moved to my stomach without asking. “My grandbaby is in there!”

  Tom came running. “What?” he said in an annoyed voice.

  “Your son is having a baby,” she hissed.

  “What?” Tom came closer then stared at my bulging stomach. “Oh my.” He turned to Ward then hugged him hard. “Congratulations, son.”

  “Thanks, papa.” Ward returned the hug.

  “You’re glowing!” His mom was the most enthused person I’d ever met. “This is so wonderful!”

  Ward returned his arm around my waist. “Mom, you’re smothering her.”

  She ignored what he said. “Do you know what you’re having? A boy or a girl?”

  Ward pulled me closer to him. “A boy.”

  “Aghh!” She dug her hands into her hair. “Tom, did you hear that?”

  “I’m having another grandson,” Tom said.

  “We’re very excited,” Ward said. “Clementine is nearly five months along. So, not much longer and the little guy will be here.”

  “What are you going to name him?” his mom asked.

  “We haven’t decided,” he said. “Is Willow here?”

  “Oh, I forgot about her,” his mom blurted. “They’re in the backyard.”

  “Let’s go say hi,” Ward said.

  I knew he was just doing this to get me out of the corner. His parents had me backed into a wall.

  His parents kept talking about the baby as they walked behind us.

  “What do you think they’ll name him?” his mom asked.

  “I don’t know,” Tom said. “Maybe after Ward.”

  We reached the backyard and saw the kids running around. They were chasing a butterfly and giggling as they ran.

  Willow turned to us and stood up. But when she realized I was pregnant, she froze and stared at me blankly. “I didn’t know you were coming.”

  Yeah, she didn’t like me.

  “Willow.” Ward warned her with just a word.

  “Is it yours?” she asked.

  “Willow,” he repeated. “Knock it off.”

  Willow walked away and sat back down, not greeting me or showing excitement about her new nephew.

  Even though I expected her to act this way, it still hurt.

  Her husband stood up then greeted Ward. Then he turned to me. “Whoa…you’re pregnant?”

  “Yes,” Ward said for me. “We’re expecting a boy.”

  “Congratulations!” He seemed genuinely excited. He hugged Ward then hugged me. “Wow, that was the last thing I was expecting.”

  “It’s been difficult to get Clementine out here,” he said. “With her morning sickness and everything.”

  “Or because she didn’t want to come,” Willow said with her back to us.

  Her husband cringed. “Sorry about her…you know how she is.”

  “You’re a lucky man,” Ward said sarcastically.

  He lowered his voice. “She’ll come around. You know she’s just protective of you.”

  “Well, I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself,” Ward said loud enough for Willow to hear.

  Willow ignored him.

  “Let’s sit down,” Ward said, pulling me around to the other side of the table.

  I really had to sit across from her?

  Ward helped me sit down before he took the spot beside me. Thankfully, he was sitting directly across from Willow while I faced her husband. I definitely preferred her husband over her. At least he was nice.

  “How long are you going to be a bitch about this?” Ward asked bluntly.

  She rested her elbows on the table and stared at him coldly. “Until she takes a paternity test.”

  I wanted to snap but I held it back. Making the situation worse wouldn’t help me.

  “It’s mine,” Ward said. “I know it’s mine.”

  “And what assurance do you have?” She stared at her brother like she hated him.

  “Because I know Clementine,” Ward said angrily. “And she wouldn’t lie to me.”

  “I haven’t slept with anyone but him,” I blurted. “I’d be pretty shocked if I was pregnant with some other guy’s baby.”

  Willow didn’t look at me. “So she says…

  Ward slammed his fist on the table. “This baby is mine and we’re having it together. You can continue to act like a brat all you want but it won’t change anything. I’ve been a damn father to your kids and you will be a mother to mine whether you like Clementine or not.”

  “How can you trust this tramp?” she hissed. “She left you and broke your heart. Do you not remember that?”

  “And I understand why she did,” Ward said. “I broke her trust, and trust is hard for her to give as it is.”

  She rolled her eyes. “She’s a mistake, Ward. That’s what she is. I will never acknowledge this kid as my nephew unless she takes a paternity test. If she doesn’t, forget it.”

  Ward was barely holding on. It was clear he wanted to slap her right across the face.

&n
bsp; Her husband looked uncomfortable, like he wished he were anywhere but there.

  “I’ll take it,” I said. “If it’s really that important to you.”

  “No, you aren’t,” Ward said simply. “I will not start this new journey as parents not trusting you.”

  “I know you aren’t the one who doesn’t trust me,” I said quietly.

  “No, Willow needs to stop acting like a cunt,” Ward said. “That’s what needs to happen.”

  I was grateful he was defending me. They were so close I wasn’t sure what would happen.

  “And now you’re back together just because she’s pregnant?” Willow asked, ignoring the insult he just gave her. “Yeah, that sounds like a smart idea…”

  “We love each other,” Ward said. “That’s why we’re together.”

  Willow stood up then marched back into the house.

  I was relieved she was gone.

  Her husband rubbed the back of his neck anxiously. “I’ll talk to her later. I know she’s excited even if she’s not showing it.”

  Ward watched the kids play on the swing set and kept his silence.

  I knew Ward was hurting. He was so excited for this baby and his sister ruined that. I moved my hand to his in his lap and squeezed it.

  He turned his gaze on me and gave me an affectionate look. “I’m sorry. I won’t let her talk to you like that.”

  “It’s okay,” I said. “I know you’re doing your best.”

  ***

  After dinner and dessert, Willow was still as quiet as a statue. Everyone else couldn’t stop talking about the new edition to the family. His mom kept babbling about what kind of pie she would make him when he was born, even though he couldn’t eat it. It was nice to feel their excitement. My dad wasn’t thrilled in the beginning and at least Ward’s parents were excited.

  “When’s the wedding?” his mom asked.

  We hadn’t discussed this. I didn’t know what to say so I let Ward take the reigns.

  “We aren’t getting married yet,” he said. “I haven’t proposed.”

  “You better.” His mom turned feisty. “I raised you better than that, boy.”

  “I know, Mom.” He kept his arm around me. “I will take care of my family. Don’t worry about that.”

  “You’ve raised a fine son,” I said. “I’m very lucky to have this baby with him. He always takes care of me and makes sure I have everything I need.”

  His mom gave him a look of approval. “That’s my boy.”

  “I raised my son right,” Tom said.

  Willow looked bored.

  “So, are you guys moving here?” his mom asked.

  I suddenly felt tense. I guess Ward hadn’t told them his intention of permanently living in America. I wish I weren’t here to listen to the conversation.

  Ward cleared his throat. “Actually, Clementine and I will be living in America.”

  His mom’s face fell.

  His father’s eyes looked disappointed.

  Willow finally looked at him.

  “I know this is hard because we’re a close family,” he said. “But, my boss generously gave me a lot of vacation time because he’s aware of the situation. And I feel it’s best for both of us for me to live there.”

  “You’re right,” his mom said. She tried to keep a straight face and be supportive. “You should be there with Clementine and her family. It’s the right thing to do.” Her eyes watered and she left the table. “Excuse me.”

  I felt lower than dirt.

  “I’m going to help her in the kitchen,” Tom said quietly. He followed behind her.

  Willow and her husband remained.

  I felt terrible for Ward. This must be so hard for him. I squeezed his hand and tried not to cry. I even considered moving here just to help him out. But I knew I couldn’t leave my family.

  “You’re leaving?” Willow asked quietly.

  “I’ll be back often,” Ward said. “I promise I’ll use all my vacation time to see you guys.”

  “You’re leaving us for her?” she asked incredulously.

  Ward released an angry sigh. “Willow, Clementine and I are having a baby together. We’re a family. Yes, I’m leaving you guys for her. Because I’m a man and a father. I would judge you if you wanted me to do anything else.”

  “Then you really need to make sure this baby is yours,” she hissed.

  Ward jumped to his feet and knocked everything off the table then slammed his fists down. Both of the kids stopped eating. Willow froze and stopped breathing. “How dare you say that to me? How dare you talk about the love of my life that way? Go to hell, Willow.” He left the table and stormed off.

  I stared at his back for a moment before I went after him. I grabbed his hand before he walked into the house. He glanced my way, seeing I was there. Then we walked through the house, listening to his mother’s cries from her bedroom. We both didn’t make a comment about what we heard.

  Ward opened the door for me and didn’t look at me.

  I didn’t like the way we were leaving his family but I knew Ward reached his boiling point.

  “Get in.” He stared at the house like he might see something.

  I did as he asked.

  ***

  When we got home, Ward immediately went into his bedroom and shut the door.

  I assumed he wanted to be alone.

  I watched TV in the living room for a while. When it grew late and I felt sleepy, I went into the spare bedroom and changed into Ward’s t-shirt. It smelled like him and felt soft against my skin. It reached passed my knees and made me feel small, even though I was swollen with a child inside me.

  I lay down but couldn’t sleep. All I could think about was the disgusted look on Willow’s face. She despised me, completely and utterly. And the look of sadness on his mother’s face broke my heart. If that hurt me, I could only imagine how much it hurt Ward.

  I wondered if he wanted company or if he really just wanted to be alone. He hadn’t come out of his room for hours. That was a clear sign of isolation. But I wanted to see him, to let him know I was there. But would it make him feel better or just make me feel better?

  I left the bedroom then crept down the hall. Then I pressed my ear against his door and listened. I didn’t detect any sounds, any snoring. I stood there and waited, but I wasn’t sure what I was waiting for. Then I cracked the door open and looked inside.

  Ward lay on his back and he stared up at the ceiling, his eyes open and unblinking. He didn’t look my way. “Is there something you need?” His voice was quiet, almost wordless.

  I flinched on the threshold then opened the door the rest of the way. “Just wanted to check on you.”

  “Well, I’m fine,” he said with no emotion. “Now you can leave.”

  Did he want me to leave? He was being cold and lifeless, just the way he was when he was hurt by what I did. Was he doing the same thing? I came closer to the bed then looked down at him. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “No.”

  I stood there awkwardly. “Is there something I can do to make you feel better?”

  “Nothing you’re willing to do.”

  My breathing hitched. What did he mean by that? “What is it that I’m not willing to do?”

  “Sleep with me.” He still didn’t look at me. “But I know you aren’t ready for that. So, just go.”

  I knew what kind of sleeping he met. Sharing a bed with him wasn’t a good idea. It might lead to other things. But I didn’t like seeing how broken he was, how upset he was.

  I crawled on top of the bed then pulled the covers back.

  Ward finally turned his head and looked at me.

  I pulled the blankets to my shoulder then rested my head on the pillow near him. I lay on my side because I couldn’t lie on my back anymore. It was too uncomfortable.

  Ward watched me quietly, not touching me.

  “Do you feel better now?”

  “A little.”

  I m
oved closer to him until my stomach pressed into his side. Then I rested my hand on his chest and tucked my leg between his, just the way I used to when we were together.

  He grabbed my shirt and pulled it up, revealing the skin of my stomach under the sheets. Then he rested his hand on my belly. “Now I feel a lot better.” His fingers gently rubbed the area.

  I moved my hand to the skin over his heart and felt the faint thumping. “I’m sorry about everything…”

  “I’m just sorry you had to go through it. I knew Willow would be difficult but…” He shook his head. “Her behavior was unacceptable.”

  “She’s just protective of you.”

  “What kind of excuse is that?” he asked coldly. “I’m a man and I can take care of myself. She knows you’re the only woman I want. I don’t give a damn if you love me in return or treat me right. I just want you.”

  I swallowed the lump in my throat and felt nervous.

  “She should respect that and let it go.” His hand moved over my stomach. “And to make such an accusation…is terrible.”

  “She’s just upset,” I said.

  “Like that means anything to me,” he said coldly. “I’ve been the best damn uncle to her kids. I’ve picked them up from dance class, taken them out to ice cream, helped her with money when she needed it…and she’s going to treat my son like a bastard?”

  “She won’t,” I said. “She’s just…in shock. Give her some slack.”

  “Why are you defending her?” he demanded. “After the things she said about you?”

  I knew why. “Because I know how much you love her. She’s not my favorite person but I’ll do everything I can to make it work. Don’t give up and push her away. I don’t want you to lose her.”

  He stared at me with affection in his eyes. “You make me fall more in love with you.”

  His words made my breathing hitch. I wanted to look away but I couldn’t. His eyes were scorching and burning into me, paralyzing me.

  “I’m so glad you’re pregnant,” he whispered. “If you weren’t…I may not have gotten another chance. You’re stuck with me because of this, and I’m grateful you are. I know that sounds selfish…because I’m selfish…but it’s the truth.”

  My hand felt his heartbeat increase. “I’m glad I’m pregnant too.”