218 First Hugs Read online

  Dino took off.

  There were dolphins swimming near the kelp forest just offshore. Sometimes they jumped out of the water, being playful as they hunted their dinner. Seeing dolphins was a normal sight because I spotted them almost every time I was down here, along with otters and whales. The Monterey Peninsula was a sanctuary for wildlife, so all the creatures flourished in safety.

  “So, are you ready to talk to Amelia?” Cypress took the ball from Dino’s mouth and threw it again.

  I placed my hands in the pockets of my hoodie and walked beside him, my sandals kicking up sand with every step I took. “No.” I couldn’t ignore my sister forever. She was my family, and we had to stick together through thick and thin. But I didn’t want to pretend that everything was okay, to sweep everything under the rug when her actions were completely wrong.

  Cypress didn’t voice his opinion about my response.

  “I’m not ready.”

  Cypress looked straight as he walked forward, his eyes on Dino.

  “She’s my sister, and I love her no matter what…but I’m so angry with her.”

  “I understand.”

  “That’s one thing you don’t do, touch each other’s boyfriends. The fact that you’re my husband just makes it worse.”

  “Yeah, you’re right.”

  I was surprised he agreed with me so easily.

  “But she’s in bad shape. She told me she feels worse than she did when Evan left her.”

  Great tactic to make me feel like shit.

  “She’s sorry about what she did. Wishes she could take it back. Wishes she hadn’t been in such a bad place to begin with so that wouldn’t have happened.” Cypress turned his gaze on me as he kept walking. “We both know that never would have happened if she hadn’t hit rock bottom. She never would have developed romantic feelings for me and just went for me. Even if you and I had never dated, I’m not her type and she’s not mine.”

  “How can she not be your type?” I asked incredulously. “Everyone always said she was the pretty sister when we were growing up. She’s gorgeous. Evan is an idiot for leaving her for that dumb girl. She might be younger, but she’s definitely not prettier.”

  “I think Amelia is very pretty. But you look very different.”

  “Uh, thanks.”

  He chuckled. “I meant that in a good way. You’re also beautiful, but you contain the qualities I prefer. But none of that really matters. All I’m trying to say is, Amelia and I never would have hooked up in a million years. That kiss never would have happened if she wasn’t in that dark place and I wasn’t the only one helping her. That’s the point I’m trying to make.”

  I understood what he was saying. Amelia wouldn’t have done that under a different circumstance. I knew it was true.

  “So maybe you could talk to her soon,” he said gently. “Bury the hatchet.”

  “Yeah…I’ll think about it.”

  Cypress faced forward again just when Dino ran up. He grabbed the ball from the dog’s mouth and threw it again. We’d almost reached the opposite end of the beach, and we would have to turn around and head back the other way. “Have you thought more about us?”

  I stared at the sand beneath my feet, seeing the soft mounds before I stepped on them with my sandal. “What do you mean?” I turned around and started walking the other way before we hit the rocks. The whole strip of beach was in front of us again as we prepared to head back the way we came.

  Cypress mimicked my moves. “You know what I mean, Bree. You were upset when you saw Vanessa, and this kiss with Amelia pushed you over the edge. I want to know where we stand. I have a right to ask.”

  My heart had softened into mush since Cypress and I started spending time together. I found myself giddy and weak just the way I used to be. I lived for every kiss and every touch. Even though I had my guard up the entire time, he managed to pierce my exterior and get right into my chest. I didn’t want to lose him, not the man who constantly looked after me every single day. He’d sacrificed a lot to be with me, more than anyone else ever would. “It was hard seeing Vanessa. It was like a horse kicked me in the chest.”

  “I can imagine.”

  “But you didn’t do anything wrong. Just the memory got to me. And what happened with Amelia… I can’t be mad at you for that either. You didn’t kiss her, and when she kissed you, you ended it. I’m still upset about the whole thing, but I can’t keep blaming you for my heartache.”

  Cypress listened, only breaking his concentration when he grabbed Dino’s ball and threw it again.

  “But I want to be with you. I want to make this work.”

  He released a quiet sigh, heavy with relief.

  “But I think we should try marriage counseling or something. These issues aren’t going to go away on their own and—”

  “That’s fine. Whatever you want.”

  When I felt his excitement, it reminded me how lucky I was to have him. Ever since I woke up from my haze, he’d been the most committed guy on the planet. Most of our days together were painful and exhausting, but he never gave up on me. He stayed because he loved me.

  I stopped walking, and he stopped a second later. He looked at me, knowing I was about to say something.

  “Thank you for not giving up on me…on us.” Cypress was the foundation of my existence. He was my rock that I relied on. He’d been there for me every single day, the crutch that supported me. When we were old and gray, he would be there taking care of me too. That was real love. “I know I’ve been difficult—”

  “I love you.”

  I’d heard him say that to me many times, usually in the heat of the moment when we were together. But no matter what context we were in, he said it the exact same way. His eyes hardened slightly, and his posture stiffened.

  “I don’t care how difficult you are. I don’t care how much work this is. You are my wife, and I will do anything and everything to keep you.”

  My eyes softened as my heart slowed down to a quiet pace. The ocean was loud beside us, and Dino stood there with his ball still clasped in his mouth. I didn’t see Cypress as the manwhore who broke my heart all those years ago. Enough time had passed that I didn’t see him that way anymore. I saw a new version of him, the committed and caring man who bore no resemblance to his old self at all.

  I walked toward him and moved into his body, feeling his strong chest and even stronger heart. My face pressed against the soft fabric of his t-shirt, and I wrapped my arms around him. Fortunately, we were the only people on this side of the beach, just us and our dog. I inhaled his smell and felt peacefulness wash over me. No matter what came our way, we would get through it together. With Cypress, I never felt like I was alone. I always had someone looking out for me—someone who loved me.

  * * *

  When we got back to my house, we headed into my bedroom and dropped our bottoms before we landed on my bed. His t-shirt was still on, and I didn’t even take off my sweater. Too rushed to wait an extra two seconds to get everything off, he was between my legs with my knees separated.

  He moaned when he felt himself slide into my slit, feeling my flood of arousal meet his thick length.

  I grabbed his hips and guided him into me, and we moved hard. Instead of taking our time and making it last, we fucked like it’d been a lifetime since we’d been together. I just wanted to have him—as much as I could get in the shortest amount of time possible.

  Cypress took over my bed, making the headboard smack into the wall roughly as he pushed himself deep inside me. He stretched me wide apart with his massive size, skin to skin because we didn’t bother having a discussion about the condom.

  I knew he hadn’t been with anyone else.

  I was about to come. I could feel it deep between my legs as he ground his body against my clit. “I want you to come inside me.”

  He dug his hand into my hair and got a good grip on my scalp. “You want my come?” His thumb brushed against my cheek and almost came into contact w
ith my mouth.

  I licked his thumb then pulled it into my mouth and sucked on it.

  Cypress’s eyes darkened, and he fucked me harder, his balls smacking against my ass.

  I kept sucking, knowing I was about to come.

  When I did, it was the best one I’d ever had. It crushed me from the inside out, making me whimper and scream at the same time. I bit down on his finger and gripped his hips, yanking him harder into me.

  Cypress came a moment later, filling me with everything he had and not wincing despite the way my teeth dug into his skin. If anything, it made him come harder. He groaned in satisfaction once he gave me all his come, a sleepy look in his eyes.

  I kept my hands on his hips so he wouldn’t go anywhere. “Give me more.”

  He pulled his thumb out of my mouth and stuck his hand into my hair again. He adjusted the tilt of my head so I was looking directly into his eyes. “That’s my wife.”

  7

  Amelia

  Cypress knocked before he walked inside. “Hey, it’s me.”

  “Hey.” I sat at the kitchen table with a beer already waiting for him. He told me he was on his way, so I knew it was him before the door even opened. I made sure Evan stayed away so they wouldn’t cross paths. The last thing I needed was Cypress knowing I was screwing my ex.

  He’d be pissed.

  He sat down, took a long drink of his beer, and then wore a wide smile that made him look like a dork.

  “Are you high?”

  “No. Why?”

  “You don’t usually grin like that.” I pointed at the corners of his mouth, which were practically underneath his eyes.

  “I do when I’m really happy. And I’m super happy right now.”

  “Really?” I asked. “Something happen with Bree?” If he was making progress with her, then there was a good chance she would make progress with me.

  “I feel like I finally have my wife back. She acted the way she used to last night, aggressive and playful at the same time. We fucked just the way we used to, like two animals that wanted to rip each other apart.” He grinned again and took a drink of his beer. “So awesome.”

  “Oh, that’s great. What made her come around?”

  Cypress told me they had a long talk at the beach. Something he said must have changed her mind because she was different, a lot more open. She couldn’t wait until they got back to the house before clothes starting coming off.

  That’s what I wanted—for them to work it out.

  “She said she still wants to do marriage counseling, which is fine by me. We can do whatever the hell she wants as long as we’re together. I said that to her about a hundred times.”

  “I’m glad you guys are making progress.”

  “Yeah, I hope this is the final stage. We’ve been through all the difficult stuff. I can’t imagine anything else coming up now.”

  “Yeah, probably not.” I was happy for Cypress, but I would have been happier if I weren’t so miserable. He had his wife back, but I still didn’t have my sister back.

  Cypress read my mind. “I think she’ll talk to you soon. We talked about you last night, and she admitted you were in a dark place. I explained to her you never would have kissed me under any other circumstance, and that seemed to give her perspective.”

  “Thank you.”

  “So, just hold on a little longer. It’ll happen. I promise.”

  “You promise?”

  He nodded. “If she doesn’t do it on her own, I’ll make her.”

  “I’ve never seen anyone make her do anything.”

  “Well, I’m her husband,” he said proudly. “I know how my woman thinks.”

  * * *

  Evan stopped by again, this time with a pint of ice cream.

  I opened the door but didn’t let him inside. “The girls are already asleep.”

  “I know. I’m here to see you.” He held up the pint. “Thought we could talk and eat right out of the carton—the way we used to.”

  When the girls were acting out or behaving badly, Evan and I used to sit at the kitchen table and try to figure out what to do. We usually split a tub of ice cream, eating more calories than we should late at night. It affected my waistline more than his, unfortunately.

  But I wasn’t stupid. I knew this was a ploy to get me into bed. I’d fallen for it enough times, as embarrassing as it was. “No. I’m not sleeping with you anymore, Evan. It was a stupid mistake, and it’s not gonna happen again. You can come back tomorrow at five if you want to see the girls. No later than that.”

  Evan didn’t budge. “How can you make the same mistake five times in a row? That’s not a mistake, baby.”

  I rolled my eyes. “This is over…whatever it is.”

  “Or it’s just getting started.”

  I shut the door in his face.

  He stuck his foot out and caught the door before it could close. He pressed the door open with his hand and stepped inside, uninvited.

  “You’re being awfully rude right now.”

  “We both know if I made a move, you wouldn’t stop me. We’d make love right on that counter, just as we’ve done hundreds of times in the past. But for tonight, I’m not gonna do that. I come in peace.” He set the ice cream on the counter. “I just want to know how you’re doing. Promise.” He held up his hand like a Boy Scout.

  “You broke your last promise to me—to remain faithful to me for the rest of our lives. You can’t blame me for not believing you.”

  He brushed off the comment by grabbing two spoons from the drawer and sitting at the kitchen table. “I got double chocolate. Your favorite and my favorite.”

  Since I wanted ice cream more than I wanted to argue, I sat across from him and grabbed a spoon.

  We ate quietly, each of us sticking to our side of the carton.

  Evan watched me with his pretty eyes, examining every move I made. “Why do you want to stop sleeping with me?”

  “Because it’s gross.”

  “It didn’t seem gross at the time.”

  “Because I wasn’t thinking clearly.” I kept scooping ice cream into my mouth. “I meant what I said. We aren’t getting back together, Evan. I’ve only been sleeping with you because I’ve hit rock bottom in life. Sleeping with someone familiar is comforting.”

  “I don’t believe that. You still love me, and we both know it. Let’s not lie to each other.”

  “I love you, but not in the way I love Ace.” It was a cold thing to say, but I wasn’t going to lie about my feelings. I didn’t want Evan to make any inaccurate assumptions about what was going on between us.

  He stared at the ice cream and left his spoon in the carton, no longer in the mood for the treat. “It really hurts when you say that, but I deserve it. It’s karma. I said the same thing to you, and now you’re saying it to me.”

  I didn’t say it to hurt him or because I believed in karma. It was just how I felt. “But he and I are never gonna happen. I’m glad we’re still friends. I’ll settle for that rather than lose him altogether.”

  “Are you sure the guy doesn’t feel the same way?”

  “Why?”

  “If he’s been sleeping with you, he’s gotta feel something.”

  I shrugged. “He said he didn’t. Said he just wanted to be friends.”

  Evan shook his head slightly. “Sounds like an idiot to me.”

  “It takes one to know one…”

  He didn’t dodge the insult. He only absorbed it. “How are things with Bree?”

  I sighed in response. “She still won’t talk to me…”

  “I’m sorry, baby.” He gave me an apologetic look.

  “Don’t call me baby.”

  “I can call you whatever I want.”

  “You used to call me that all the time, and then you started calling Rebecca that. It reminds me that I was replaced, and I don’t want to be called that anymore.”

  His face fell like I’d slapped him. “I’m sorry…I didn’t realize it bothe
red you.”

  Everything bothered me.

  “I hope things get better with Bree soon. You two are really close. I’m sure she’ll forgive you for whatever you did. You’re a good person, so your crime can’t be that bad.”

  No, it was pretty bad.

  “Can you tell me what you did?”

  “It doesn’t matter, Evan.”

  He leaned over the table, getting close to me. “If you think I’m gonna judge you, I’m not. There’s nothing you could have done that would make me look at you differently. You’re still the most amazing woman in the world to me.”

  Why did his lines still affect me after what he did? “When you left me, I was in a really dark place. I put on a brave front with you because I didn’t want you to know how much you crippled me. I had too much pride. But behind the scenes, I was a mess. I stopped eating, stopped sleeping. Taking care of the girls was a million times harder because I was doing it by myself, and I didn’t care about anything. Then Bree lost her memory, and that was even more devastating. I hit rock bottom, and I could barely take care of myself. But Cypress was there. He did so much for me and the girls. He helped me get back on my feet, picked up the girls from school while I lay in bed and did nothing. He put food on the table when I stopped working. He did everything. One night, I drank too much wine, and it was late. I made an impulse decision to kiss Cypress. It lasted for a few seconds before he pulled away and ended it.” I swallowed the lump in my throat, feeling the guilt kill me. “Cypress had to tell her the truth, but he didn’t identify me. So I told her…and she hasn’t forgiven me.”

  Evan bowed his head then covered his face with his hands, hiding his reaction from me.

  He was probably jealous that I’d kissed my brother-in-law. Probably thought less of me for doing something so morally wrong. But there was nothing he could say or do to make me feel worse than I already did.

  Evan lowered his hands and revealed eyes filled with tears. The white parts of his eyes had turned red, and the skin around his eyes was puffy and irritated. The only other time I’d seen Evan wear that look was the day we got married, but he was crying from joy, not sadness.