If Loving You Is Wrong Read online

  “Shut up,” Conrad said. “How?”

  “The odds are slim but it could happen,” Slade said. “I did a lot of research.”

  “Imagine how well you would do in school if you used all the time you spent on gambling, doodling, and playing your guitar toward your classes,” Cayson said.

  Slade didn’t seem to care. “Nah.”

  I sipped my wine but couldn’t drink most of it. I was sick of alcohol from the previous weekend. My body needed a break.

  “Do you want some more hot wings or fries?” Cayson asked Skye.

  She shrugged. “I guess some fries wouldn’t hurt.”

  “We just ate,” Roland snapped. “How can you possibly be hungry?”

  “Because I am,” Skye argued.

  Roland rolled his eyes. “I hope you like fat girls, Cayson. Because Skye is going to be huge.”

  “I like it when a girl knows how to eat.” Cayson leaned toward her. “I’ll be right back. Keep my seat warm.”

  “Or I could just sit in your lap,” she whispered.

  “Don’t make me gag,” Roland said.

  Cayson left and headed to the bar.

  I sighed in sadness. I couldn’t deny how envious I was. I wished I had a great guy that loved me the way Cayson loved her. All I had were a string of guys that meant nothing. And I meant even less to them. Good guys were hard to find, nearly impossible. I’d given up at this point.

  Cayson retrieved the basket of fries and placed them in front of Skye. “Eat up.”

  “Thank you.” She gave him a bright smile before she started to munch.

  I glanced at Slade. His eyes were glued to the screen. “Fucking refs. It seems like none of them are even qualified.”

  “Maybe they paid their way through school,” Cayson said.

  “They have referee school?” Slade asked with a raised eyebrow.

  “Yeah, it’s in Australia.” Cayson drank his beer and avoided Slade’s look.

  I didn’t know anything about football but I knew that was totally off.

  “Australia?” Slade asked. “But they don’t even have football over there.”

  Roland tried not to laugh.

  Conrad was struggling too.

  Cayson shrugged. “They want the refs to have absolutely no distractions during their training.”

  Slade’s eyes narrowed. “But how would they practice if there’re no football games?”

  “They have all virtual testing,” Roland said.

  Slade stared at them suspiciously. “Wait a second…”

  Cayson smirked.

  “You’re fucking with me, aren’t you?” Slade asked.

  Roland laughed. “I can’t believe you bought that.”

  “Idiot,” I murmured.

  “You’re one to talk,” he snapped.

  I sipped my wine and ignored his look.

  “I’ll get you back, Cayson,” Slade threatened.

  “Oooh…I’m so scared.” Cayson laughed.

  “You should be.” Slade returned his eyes to the TV.

  We watched the rest of the game then squared the tab. Cayson and Skye immediately paired off then headed home together. Roland and Conrad were inseparable so they drove together. I was the only one who drove on my own.

  “See you later.” Slade headed down the sidewalk, his hands in his pockets.

  “Did you walk?” I asked.

  “Yes, genius.”

  “You want a ride?” I asked. “It’s cold.”

  “And sit with you in a car? I’m good.” He kept walking.

  I knew he was a dick but I was getting sick of his attitude. “Do you ever get tired of being a jackass?”

  He didn’t turn around. “No.”

  ***

  I got a text message from my father a few days later.

  Breakfast on Sunday? He usually came down every other week. It was a routine we established a long time ago. It was unspoken but always acknowledged.

  Sure.

  I’ll pick you up at 9.

  Okay.

  My father never brought my mom. It was always something only he and I did. I loved my mom but we weren’t nearly as close as my father and I. I still remember going to work with him when I was younger. He’d let me play with my toys in his office, and he even took me to meetings with him. When he finished his workday, we would go by McDonald’s and never tell my mom. He and I were always rule breakers.

  On Sunday morning, he knocked on my door.

  I wore my black leggings with boots and a thick sweater. A gold bracelet hung on my wrist and my hair was pulled over one shoulder. When I opened the door, I saw him wearing his usual attire. He wore dark jeans and a t-shirt. A dark blue blazer covered him, keeping him warm. My dad was at least a foot taller than me, if not more.

  “Hey, Trin.”

  “Hey, Dad.”

  He stepped across the threshold and gave me a warm hug. He held me for a long moment before he pulled away. “Hungry?”

  “Do you know me at all?”

  He smirked then walked out. “Then let’s get our grub on.”

  I walked out then locked the door behind me.

  “The usual?” he asked.

  “Yes, please.”

  He walked to his Porsche then opened the passenger door, letting me get inside. Then he walked around the car and got into the driver’s seat. My dad was the only guy I knew who treated me like a lady. Every other guy couldn’t care less about chivalry. My brother wasn’t even nice to me.

  My dad pulled onto the road and headed to the diner we always went to. It was a tradition that we never broke. When we arrived, he opened the door for me and even pulled out my chair.

  “How’s school?” He sat with his back perfectly straight then looked at the menu.

  “Good. Nothing too interesting.” I looked at the menu even though I already knew what I would order. It was the same thing I always got. “How’s work?”

  “Good. Nothing too interesting.” He smirked while he read through the menu. “Are you getting the strawberry waffle with bacon and eggs?”

  “When do I ever order anything else?” I said with a smile.

  “Well, you always look at your menu so I know you consider it.” He put the menu down. “New York steak and eggs for me.”

  “A very hearty meal.”

  He nodded. “I’m a big guy.”

  My dad wasn’t fat. He was thick with muscle and strength. His eyes were blue, but most of the time they looked gray. He had an intimidating look about him. He looked like his brother but he had his own distinct features. I knew my father boxed for exercise and trained in martial arts. He was an intense person sometimes. “How’s Mom?”

  “Good. She’s doing Cross Fit now.”

  “That doesn’t surprise me. She’s always been super fit.”

  “She’s a fit chick. A hot one.” A grin was on his face.

  My mom was still pretty, even after all these years. “She could outrun you.”

  “Now let’s not get carried away…”

  The waitress approached our table. “I already know what you want, Trinity.” She smiled then turned to my dad. “What can I get you, sir?”

  “Mike,” he answered. “Steak and eggs. Medium well, please.”

  “You got it.” She took the menus.

  “And some coffee, please,” I blurted.

  “Make that two,” my dad added.

  “Of course.” She walked away.

  My dad stared at my neck. “That’s a nice scarf.”

  I felt the purple fabric. “Thanks. I got it on sale.”

  “It’s a good color on you. Brings out your eyes.”

  “Thanks, Dad.”

  “Anything new?” he asked. He leaned back in his chair then rested his hands in his lap.

  I thought about the party I went to last weekend and what almost happened. No, I couldn’t bring that up. What could I talk about? “Cayson and Skye are cute together.”

  He nodded. “Your unc
le Sean is very happy about that. I am too.”

  “Yeah…I can’t believe it took them so long to figure out their feelings.”

  He shrugged. “Sean took longer.”

  “So I’ve heard from Skye.” I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned back.

  “Your brother behaving himself?”

  “As far as I know. But if he wasn’t, he wouldn’t mention it to me.”

  “Like you would tell me anyway.” He had a playful look in his eyes.

  I shrugged. “I’ve never been a tattle-tell.”

  “Good. Those are annoying.”

  I chuckled. “Yeah, they are.”

  “Juggling any guys?” he asked.

  My dad always asked this question in a calm way, almost like he didn’t care. But I knew how protective he was of me. The last time I had a boyfriend, he insisted on meeting him and his entire family. It was an ordeal… “No.”

  He nodded. “Seeing just a single guy?”

  “No guys at all,” I answered. I hadn’t dated in a while. I was getting tired of it. Most guys were jerks, boring, and horrible kissers. I wanted a guy to sweep me off my feet but I was quickly realizing that would never happen. I shouldn’t bother waiting.

  “Any reason why?” he asked.

  “No…I just haven’t met anyone who’s worth my time.”

  “Good. I’m glad you’re picky. You deserve nothing but the best, honey.”

  I smiled slightly then dropped it.

  “You have the rest of your life anyway. And I don’t want to have a heart attack anytime soon.”

  “Then you probably shouldn’t order a steak,” I noted.

  He smirked. “I’m a man. I order what I want.”

  “You sound like a caveman,” I said with a laugh.

  “Me like meat,” he said in a deep voice.

  I laughed again.

  “So, how are your classes?”

  “You already asked me that.”

  “And you didn’t give me a sufficient answer.” He stared me down, suddenly becoming serious.

  I shrugged. “Classes are alright.”

  “Conrad made it sound like you don’t like school much.”

  “He did?” When did he say that?

  He nodded. “He said you were more interested in fashion.” He stared at me like he was waiting for a response. When I didn’t say anything, he kept going. “Trinity, is that true?”

  “Well, I do like fashion…”

  “More than business?” he asked.

  I guess I should just be honest. I could tell my dad almost anything. Sometimes I feared I would disappoint him for not wanting the company, something he spent his life doing. “I guess I’m not that into it…”

  He nodded slowly. “Do you have any desire to take over the company with Skye?”

  Not really. What should I say?

  My dad leaned over the table. “Honey, you can tell me anything.”

  I looked down. “I guess I don’t want to disappoint you.”

  “You could never disappoint me.” Thick emotion was in his eyes. “Honey, I want you to be happy. Don’t do something you don’t want to do. Talk to me.”

  “I guess…no, I don’t really want to do that. I think it’s amazing that you and Uncle Sean have done such a great job growing the company into the empire it has become but…my heart isn’t into it.”

  He stared at me for a long time, taking in my words. “Okay.”

  Okay? That’s it? “What?”

  “Trin, it’s your life. I want you to do what makes you happy. If you don’t want the company, you don’t have to take it.”

  “But I know how important it is to you…”

  He shrugged. “What does it matter? You need to live your life for yourself, not other people. No matter what you do or how aware you are of other people’s feelings, you aren’t going to make everyone happy. So don’t bother. My dad started that company out of his garage when he was eighteen. When I graduated college, he wanted Sean and I to take over. But neither one of us wanted it. I did my own thing for years. I didn’t come to it until I was ready and knew I really wanted it. Sean did the same. Do what you want, Trin. You have my support no matter what.”

  My dad made it so easy. “Thanks…”

  “But you should really think about it before you make any hasty decisions. That’s all I ask.”

  “You’re right.”

  “So…what would you like to do?”

  I never entertained the idea before. “Well, I like fashion.”

  “You could do modeling. Are you interested in that?”

  I rolled my eyes. Of course my dad thought I was model material. He was blinded by his love. “Maybe design. I really like putting outfits together.”

  He nodded. “I know a lot of people in the city. I can set you up with something or even a designer. Or we could launch your own clothing line. Whatever you want, Trin.”

  Sometimes I forgot all the power my father had. “Thanks. I’ll think about it.”

  “Okay.”

  The waitress returned with the food. “Plates are hot. Be careful.” She set everything down then walked away.

  I picked up my fork and started to eat. “What do you and Mom do now that Conrad and I are out of the house? Are you guys bored?”

  He laughed. “Bored? Definitely not. It’s nice having time to ourselves again. And the peace and quiet…” He shook his head. “There’s nothing like it.”

  “We weren’t that loud,” I argued.

  “Maybe not in high school but you certainly were growing up.”

  “You said I was a cute baby.”

  “Oh, you were. You were adorable, still are. But that doesn’t mean you weren’t a pain in the ass.”

  I glared at my dad and kept eating. “Conrad was the terror, not me.”

  He laughed. “You have some odd perceptions of yourself. You guys both drove your mother and I up the walls. You both had your golden moments, but also times of pure terror.”

  “How sweet,” I said sarcastically.

  He smirked. “Your mother and I miss you guys—sometimes.”

  “I miss being home sometimes,” I said with a sigh, feeling the emotion come out.

  He caught the look. “Is everything okay, Trin?”

  “Yeah…I guess I miss living in a fairy tale.”

  He studied me for a moment. “I don’t understand your meaning.”

  I took a deep breath. “I just expected being an adult would be awesome. It would be all fun and games. All I would do is enjoy my freedom. Life would be good, it would be great. But…”

  “But what?” he pressed.

  “I guess it’s a lot harder than I thought.”

  His eyes softened when he looked at me. They turned blue for a moment, showing his vulnerability.

  “I feel like I don’t know where I belong. I keep making mistakes. I just want to fast-forward to the next stage. I want to find the perfect guy and marry him. I want to be married with kids. I just want to find the place where I belong…” I realized this conversation became too serious. “I’m sorry. I’m just rambling.”

  He processed my words for a long time. “When I first became an adult, I struggled. I was a much different man before your mother came into my life. I was a jerk, frankly. I wanted to be a bachelor all my life. All I cared about was racing fast cars and picking up different girls every night. I went through the motions, just having fun. But in reality, I was sad. When your uncle Sean got married, I realized how empty and meaningless my life was. All I did was waste time and break hearts. I had nothing to show for it. The depression hit me hard. I was a single guy, alone and broken. But then your mother came into my life, bringing the light with her.”

  His words echoed in my mind long after he said them.

  “My point is, even though I went through a hard time, I wouldn’t change it for anything. Because when you do finally find where you belong and the person you belong with, you realize you wouldn’t have a
ppreciated it so much unless you struggled to begin with.” He rested his hand on mine. “You will find the place where you belong and the guy you belong with. But never speed up time. Because we really don’t have long on this earth. Appreciate what you have. Because before you know it, it’s gone.”

  My father pulled his hand away then sipped his coffee. Silence stretched between us. My dad and I always had serious conversations, but we never went as deep as this. He was a friend as well as a parent. It felt good to get that off my chest. Because, like always, he made me feel better.

  Chapter Five

  Cayson

  I sat down at our usual table in the library but Skye wasn’t there. It was only Trinity and Slade.

  “All I’m saying is, you’re stupid and annoying.” Slade ate his burrito while he spoke, forgetting his manners. “So just shut the hell up.”

  “You aren’t supposed to eat in the library,” she hissed.

  “And you aren’t supposed to talk,” he snapped. “Do the world a favor and become mute.”

  “Ugh.” Trinity looked like she might slam her textbook into his head.

  I eyed them both. “Best friends, I see…”

  “I wouldn’t be her friend if you paid me,” Slade said, still eating his burrito.

  “I’m so close to smashing my book into your skull,” she threatened.

  “You would never hit your target.” He crammed the rest of the burrito, nearly half of it, into his wide open mouth. He could barely close his lips around it.

  “Gross…just take a bite and chew,” Trinity said. “Why do you have to shove it down your throat like a seagull?”

  “At least I eat. You’re a twig.”

  “At least I’m not disgusting.”

  I couldn’t stand this much longer. “Kids, knock it off. Or time-out for both of you.”

  Slade rolled his eyes. “I’m about to wipe a booger on her.”

  “Gross…” She crossed her arms over her chest and sighed.

  “Have you seen Skye?” I asked. “She’s usually here about now.”

  “No. I haven’t seen her all day,” Trinity said.

  She usually came to the library for her two-hour break. I couldn’t recall a time when she skipped it. “That’s odd.”

  “Just text her and ask where she is, genius.” Slade balled up his foil then threw it right at Trinity’s face.