New Beginnings (Forever and Always #15) Read online

  “My ass is about to fall off too.”

  He smirked. “Anything new with the wedding?”

  “We decided to have it at Scarlet’s.”

  “Oh. Since when?”

  “My sister offered a while ago.”

  “Cool,” he said. He drank his soda. “That’ll save you a lot of dough.”

  “I didn’t really care about that. It’ll be nice to have it on the beach. Janice liked the idea too.”

  “Now you can go on a big honeymoon,” Cortland said. “Where you guys going?”

  “Haven’t decided yet. She wants to go to Paris or London.”

  “And where do you want to go?”

  “The hotel room,” I said bluntly.

  He chuckled. “Then it won’t be much different than your current lives.”

  “Or somewhere where she has to wear a thong bikini.”

  “How romantic,” he said sarcastically.

  I shrugged. “She knows what she’s getting into.”

  “Sometimes I wonder if that’s true,” he teased.

  The food was brought to our table and we both inhaled our food. When we were almost done, I knew my time was drawing near. An imaginary bomb ticked in my head. I was procrastinating as much as possible but now I was at a dead end.

  “You look like a ghost, man.” Cortland gave me a firm look. “The food bad?”

  “No.” I drummed my knuckles on the table because I couldn’t sit still.

  “Then what’s on your mind?”

  I released the air from my lungs, knowing this was the moment. “I need to talk to you about something. And I’ve been dreading this moment for a while now.”

  “Okay…”

  “I’m just going to say it because I can’t think of a way to be gentle about it.”

  Cortland tensed his shoulders. “Okay…”

  “Cal’s boyfriend works with Monnique. Apparently, they go to the same parties and he sees her pretty often. Last week, they were at Ringers when Monnique hooked up with some guy in the bathroom. I asked him if he was sure and he said yes. And she did cocaine…” I didn’t feel any better getting that off my chest. Actually, I wanted to shrivel and die.

  Cortland didn’t react. He stared at me like he hadn’t heard me. He didn’t move a single part of his body. He didn’t even blink.

  “I’m sorry, man. It’s been eating me alive for days.”

  He still didn’t speak. He finally leaned over the table, resting his elbows on the surface then folding his hands in front of his mouth. I wasn’t sure what I expected him to do; to yell, scream, punch me, I didn’t know. But I didn’t expect this calm reaction. He cleared his throat. “Monnique?”

  I nodded.

  “You sure?”

  “I wish I weren’t.”

  He fell silent again. His eyes looked out the window. “We’ve been having a lot of problems lately. Her job has caused us to drift apart. She’s been acting differently, really pushing me to the edge. But, she would never do that to me.”

  God, I felt like shit. “I know this is hard to believe, but he seemed sure.”

  “What happened, exactly?”

  “She was high on cocaine and drunk on booze and she and this guy went into the bathroom and fucked. He said he saw them.”

  “What guy?” he asked calmly.

  I shrugged. “Some guy she models with. I guess they’ve done a few features together.”

  His eyes flashed in recognition for an instant. “And he’s certain he saw this?”

  “Yeah. He also said she was so out of her mind she may not even remember it. That might be why she never told you.”

  Cortland ran his fingers through his hair. “When I picked her up that night, she was passed out on a couch. That must have been when this went down.”

  Did that mean he believed me?

  “She would have told me if she did.”

  I admired his trust in Monnique. If someone told me Janice was sleeping around, I’d immediately confront her about it and flip the fuck out. I wouldn’t be calm like Cortland. But that’s what made him a way better man than I was. “Maybe she’s afraid to…”

  He returned his hands to his mouth, thinking.

  “I know this is hard to take in, but I know what I heard. He said he saw them together. Like, actually saw them. He didn’t hear this from someone else like it was a piece of gossip.”

  He leaned back in the booth. “I just want to make sure I have all the information before I confront her and accuse her of something like this.”

  “I understand,” I said gently. “But…I think it’s pretty obvious she cheated. You even said she was passed out when you picked her up.”

  He suddenly flinched. “She had powder on her nose… I thought it was sugar.”

  I didn’t say anything.

  “But there might still be an explanation for that.”

  “Cortland, I don’t mean to be an ass but you need to prepare for the worst. You even said you’ve been having problems lately. And the girls even say she’s been different. Maybe she was partying too hard and it got out of hand. I don’t know. But don’t just sweep it under the rug.”

  “I’m not,” he snapped. “I’m trying to be objective here. Monnique is the love of my life, and even though she’s been a damn bitch lately, I know she wouldn’t hurt me like that. Just because we’ve been struggling doesn’t mean our relationship is dead. Every couple has their dark times. I know Monnique better than you, and I have a really hard time believing the truth in your story. But that doesn’t mean I won’t question her about it. I know she’ll tell me the truth.”

  I backed off. “Okay. I’m sorry.”

  Cortland stared out the window again.

  “I’m here for you, no matter what she says.”

  “I know,” he whispered.

  “And for what its worth, I hope I’m totally wrong.”

  “I know that too.”

  Conversations from nearby tables filled the room. Our silence stretched. People laughed and threw fries at each other. The world continued around us, but Cortland and I stayed still in our moment in time. I saw the fight in his eyes. The distress over the situation was weighing him down, but the pragmatic side of him was holding strong. He always chose to see the good in people even when it wasn’t there. I just hoped that wouldn’t bite him in the ass now.

  5

  Cortland

  Did she really do that to me? Would she? I just couldn’t believe it. After everything I’ve done for her, been the perfect boyfriend, this is how it went down? It just didn’t sound right. I knew she loved me. It was impossible that she would hurt me like that. It couldn’t be true.

  She was supposed to quit her job today, and I waited for her to call me to see if she went through with it. My phone rang an hour after I got off work. I answered it quicker than I normally did.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey,” she said.

  “Did you quit?” I blurted. If she didn’t, I was done with her.

  “Yes.”

  “How’d it go?”

  “Shane was upset but he understood.”

  “Did he give you a hard time about it?” The threat was in my voice.

  “No.”

  “Okay.”

  “I really want to see you,” she said. “Can I come by?”

  “I’ll come to your apartment.” If this conversation didn’t go well, I wanted to leave her rather than kick her out.

  “Okay. You’re coming?”

  “I’ll be there soon.” I hung up without saying goodbye. I guess I was a little mad that we had to have this conversation at all. There was a little doubt inside me. She changed a lot after she started modeling. Maybe her commitment to me had too.

  When I arrived at her apartment, she opened the door without waiting for me to knock. “Hey.” She wrapped her arms around me, squeezing me tightly. “I’m so sorry about everything. Thank you for giving me another chance.”

  When she did thin
gs like this, I couldn’t imagine the accusation being true. I just couldn’t. “We need to talk.”

  She pulled away, fear in her eyes. “I did as you asked. I quit my job and I’m not going back there. I love you and I’m sorry for everything I said and did. I won’t act that way anymore. I’m sorry.” Tears welled up in her eyes. “I’m so sorry.” She was about to break.

  “Calm down,” I said gently.

  “Please don’t leave me.” A few tears escaped.

  I hated seeing her cry. It broke my heart every time. “I’m not. I just want to talk about something.”

  She took a deep breath then wiped her tears away. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to freak out like that… I just know I’ve pushed you to the edge and I’m afraid I’m going to do something to make you fall over.”

  I took her hand and pulled her into the apartment. “We’ll see…”

  “Okay…”

  I gave her a firm look, the threat in my eyes. “I heard a rumor about you. And I sincerely hope it was just a rumor and nothing more.”

  “What…?”

  “Someone said you hook up with that model friend in the bathroom.” I watched her expression, watching her eyes flick back and forth in alarm. Her lips tightened, and her chest rose and fell with increased breathing. “Did you?”

  “With Cash?” she asked.

  “Yeah.” I stared her down. “Did you?”

  She looked down and crossed her arms over her chest.

  The fact she wasn’t answering frightened me. “I asked you a question. I know you won’t lie to me.”

  Her eyes bubbled with tears. “When I got there, I started drinking and we had a good time. I vaguely remember him arriving hours later. He had a bag of powder. Everyone started taking hits…and I think I did too. The last thing I remember is feeling a credit card between my fingers. I don’t remember anything happening with Cash, but he knew I had a boyfriend so I don’t see how that would happen.”

  “So, you don’t even know?” The anger was in my voice.

  “I…I’m pretty sure I didn’t but I can’t completely rule it out since I don’t remember much.” She gave me a fearful look. “You know I would never cheat on you with anyone knowingly.”

  I shook my head, feeling the rage course through me. “That response is even worse than you just saying yes.”

  “What…?”

  “The fact you don’t know is unacceptable. You don’t know if some guy fucked you in the bathroom? Really?”

  The tears fell down her face. “I’ll call him and ask.”

  I flipped her table over then stepped away, afraid I might accidently hurt her. “I don’t want to know.”

  “Cortland—”

  “Shut the fuck up.” I gripped my skull and paced the room. “I’m done with you, Monnique. We’re over.”

  “What?” she asked. “That’s not fair! Let me call him.”

  “No! I don’t want a girlfriend that can’t even protect herself. I liked the strong and independent woman you used to be even though I didn’t like you going out alone. But I knew you were smart and could take care of yourself. But this…I can’t handle this. I don’t trust you.”

  “No…” She gripped herself tightly. “I quit and I won’t talk to anyone from the magazine again. I won’t drink another drop of alcohol as long as I live. I’ll do anything to make this right, Cortland. I’m sorry. I let the fame get to me and it changed me. I just made a mistake.”

  I couldn’t look at her. “I’ve been trying to keep this relationship together for months, but you’ve been off doing whatever the hell you’re doing. So, we haven’t really been together. I’m either in the relationship or you are, but it never happens at the same time. And I’m done trying.” I felt the anger shake my limbs.

  “Cortland, let me call him.”

  “I don’t want to know!”

  “Please.”

  I headed to the door, ready to get the fuck out of there.

  She threw herself against it. “If he says yes, I’ll let you leave and won’t try to stop you. I won’t show my face around you ever again. I won’t chase you. I wouldn’t deserve you if I did that. But if he says no…I want to talk this through.”

  “Get out of my way.”

  She didn’t budge. “Please.” She sniffed.

  “I don’t want to hurt you.” I knew the menace was in my eyes.

  “Then you’re going to have to because I’m not moving.” She met my look without any fear. She called my bluff.

  I crossed my arms over my chest. “If he says yes, you let me go.”

  “Okay.” She pulled out her phone and called him. She put it on speaker so I could hear.

  He answered, sounding like a pretentious asshole. “Wad up?”

  “It’s Monnique.”

  “Hey, girl. This is a pleasant surprise.”

  “I need to ask you something and I’m a little embarrassed that I need to.” She kept the tears out of her voice even though they fell down her face.

  “Yes, it’s really ten inches.”

  I hated this guy even more now.

  “When we were out the other night at the club…did we hook up in the bathroom? I can’t remember.”

  “Well, if we did, I would have remembered.” He laughed over the receiver. “But I hooked up with that new girl, Lila. She’s got that caramel skin like you do. Hey, we should—”

  She hung up then dropped the phone.

  I didn’t realize how tense I was until I finally relaxed. My whole world was going to fall apart if he said yes. I was going to go on a rampage, hanging him from his closet by a hanger. If Monnique cheated on me with someone, I didn’t know what I would do… My faith in humanity would have been broken. I’d spiral out of control worse than Mike.

  She finally looked at me. “I know Lila. She and I look similar. I understand why your friend accidently confused us.”

  I didn’t speak. I was still recovering from the news.

  “I quit my job and I’m going back to nursing. I apologized for everything and took the blame for all my behavior, and I will be patient with you while we work on this relationship. But please don’t leave me. If you didn’t love me, you would have left a long time ago. Don’t give up now.”

  “Relationships shouldn’t be this hard…”

  “We were happy for a year. This is the first time anything bad has ever happened. We can work through it.”

  “You dumped me because I slept with Scarlet before I even knew you. Shouldn’t I dump you for being in a situation where you could have been taken advantage by a punk like Cash?”

  “Yes.”

  I was surprised by her honesty.

  “But I didn’t sleep with him, Cortland. I went down the wrong path and made a bunch of stupid decisions. I let everything go to my head. I’m not denying that. But I’m here now and I want to work my ass off to make this relationship work.”

  I gripped my skull then paced the room. The stress was killing me. I just wanted to be happy again. Was I pursuing a relationship that would never work? Was I just wasting more time, making the break up harder? “I need a break…”

  “A break?” she asked.

  “I just want to get my emotions together. I can’t be a boyfriend right now.”

  “What does that mean…?”

  “If I give this another shot, it’ll be the last one. If something else comes up, I’m gone. I don’t care if it’s years from now.”

  “That’s understandable…”

  “But I need time right now. You’ve dragged my emotions through the mud and I’m so depressed, in so much pain, that I can’t even function.” I felt my tears bubble and fall. “I can’t…”

  Monnique sobbed when she saw me break down. She rushed to my arms and held me tightly. “I’m so sorry.”

  I rested my face in the crook of her neck and collapsed.

  “You’ve always been the one keeping us together, putting me first, and pardoning my sins over and over. You�
�ve given me everything, and I’ll do the same for you. It’s okay to fall apart because I’ll catch you.” She held me tighter. “I’ll fix you.”

  I controlled my tears and stopped them from falling.

  “I can fix this,” she said. “Don’t worry.” She pulled away and looked at me, her eyes just as soaked as mine. “Whatever you need, Cortland. I’ll give you.”

  “I need space.”

  “Okay.” She tried to hide her disappointment.

  “I think it would be best if we were just friends for a while…”

  More tears fell. “Okay…”

  “But I’m not going to see anyone, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

  She breathed a sigh of relief.

  “I should go.” I headed to the door and hid my face.

  She didn’t stop me, respecting my wish. “Okay.”

  “I’ll see you later.” I wiped my tears away before I stepped out.

  “Cortland?”

  “Hmm?” I didn’t face her.

  “I love you.”

  I took a deep breath. “I love you too.”

  6

  Scarlet

  “I have an evil idea.” I got into bed beside Sean.

  “Oooh…I want to hear it.” His hand moved up my hip, his eyes sinister. This probably wasn’t the best time to have this conversation.

  “It’s about your parents.”

  He flinched. “You always think about my parents before we have sex?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Let’s invite your mom to dinner tomorrow night along with Mike and Cassandra. We can have dinner as a family. Maybe that will get your dad to see your mom differently.”

  “Sure. Whatever.” His lips moved to my neck and sucked the skin.

  I pushed him off. “Do you think it will work?”

  “Baby, I’m not even listening to you right now.”

  “Can you just stop thinking about sex for a second?”

  “Can we just have this conversation after we have sex?”

  “God, you’re annoying.”

  He moved on top of me and then found my entrance immediately. He had a radar built inside that head of his. The sex was slow and gentle. Sean took his time, dragging it out as long as possible. He was doing a good job so I didn’t mind.

  “I’m not stopping until you come twice.”