You Make Me Weak Read online

  I showed him how to dribble the ball and run, and to do it between the legs.

  He watched me, and then after he practiced a few times, he got the hang of it.

  “I told you it wasn’t hard,” I said.

  “Maybe for you,” he said. “I’m sure your dad taught you after he bought you your own basketball hoop and a pony.” He rolled his eyes and kept dribbling.

  “I never knew my father. He left when I was born.” I said it casually and kept playing.

  “Really?” he asked.

  “Yep. My mom left when I was eight. I’ve never had parents.”

  He eyed me suspiciously then dropped the look. “Where did you grow up?”

  “A foster home in Boston.”

  “Did you get adopted?”

  “No,” I said with a laugh. “I was too much of a jerk for anyone to want me.”

  “No one wants me either,” he said quietly.

  “Don’t let it get you down. Just focus on school.”

  “Do you go to college?” he asked.

  “No. I didn’t graduate high school and then I went to prison.”

  His eyes widened. “Prison? What for?”

  “Selling weed,” I said. “Let me tell you, prison sucks. Don’t go there.”

  “My dad is there…”

  “I’m sure he’ll be the first one to tell you it’s a crappy place.”

  He dribbled the ball and didn’t say anything.

  “Now that I’m out, I’m in school and some nice people are giving me a place to live. But I wish I hadn’t made such bad decisions to begin with. I wish my life had been different.”

  “In what way?” he asked.

  “I wish I’d finished high school before I became an adult. I actually just finished a few weeks ago. I wish I’d stayed away from drugs and kept away from the wrong crowd. I wish I went to college.” I meant all of those things, but only partially. If I hadn’t lived my life the way it played out, I probably wouldn’t have met Silke. And she was the one thing I was living for.

  “Yeah?” he asked.

  “Yeah.”

  “You want to play one-on-one?” he asked.

  I smiled. “Let’s do it.”

  ***

  On my way home, I checked my phone. I had several missed calls from Ryan and voicemails. When I listened to them, I realized how pissed off he was. I was supposed to be home at five and it was already nine. I hadn’t called and told him where I was or when I would be home.

  Fuck.

  I called him on the way home. “I’m almost home. I’ll explain when I get there.”

  He didn’t say a word. Instead, he hung up.

  When I walked into the apartment, Ryan was standing with his arms across his chest. He looked like he might kill me. “I don’t have very many rules, Arsen.”

  “Wait, let me explain—”

  “Get your shit and leave.”

  Janice stood there, on the verge of tears.

  “Just let me tell you where I was.”

  “No.” Ryan didn’t look forgiving.

  Janice turned to him. “Just hear him out…”

  “Stay out of this,” he barked. “I told Arsen my rules. He doesn’t get a third chance.”

  I was panicking. “I went to the Boys and Girls Club and hung out with a troubled kid. We played basketball together and I told him about my life so he wouldn’t do drugs or drop out of school. Since you helped me, I wanted to help someone too… I’m sorry I didn’t call. I just forgot. I’m sorry. I really am. You can call them and verify I was there and how long. I’m not lying.”

  Janice looked at him. “Ryan, it’s okay…”

  Ryan’s anger decreased. He pulled out his phone then made the call. He spoke to the secretary before he hung up. “She said Arsen was there.”

  Janice breathed a sigh of relief.

  “I’m sorry,” I said. “It won’t happen again. Please don’t give up on me.”

  Ryan sighed then came closer to me. He stared me down. “Don’t give me a reason to.”

  I stared at him and kept my silence.

  “I’ll let it go this one time because of what you were doing. But don’t expect that kind of generosity again.”

  “I know,” I said quickly. “I understand.”

  “Ryan, let it go,” Janice said. “He was trying to help someone.”

  “I don’t care what he was trying to do,” he said. “I asked him to call me whenever he went somewhere. That was my rule.”

  “I accept full responsibility,” I said. “It would have only taken me a second to call. I just forgot and wasn’t thinking. I’m not used to having someone to check in with…”

  Janice gave him a furious look. “Give him a break, Ryan.”

  “No,” I said. “I understand. Ryan told me the rules. It’s my fault.”

  Ryan gave me a look of approval. “Accepting the consequences of your actions…not making excuses…and taking responsibility for your decisions…you’re changing so much, Arsen. It’s a pleasure to watch.”

  I relaxed knowing the only man who ever cared about me wasn’t throwing me out.

  He hugged me. “I love you, kid.”

  I stilled at his words and returned his embrace. No one had ever said that to me before, not like that. He was the father I never had, someone who cared about me without any reason to. He did everything for me, making me feel like I was his son. It was the strangest feeling, to be loved. “I love you too…”

  Chapter Three

  Silke

  Always punctual, Pike arrived at my door right on the hour. He wore a gray t-shirt with a black blazer, and dark jeans hung low on his hips. His hair was styled like before, slightly messy but nice. “You look beautiful.”

  I wore a flowered dress that reached my thighs with nude heels. A blue cardigan covered my arms, and I wore a white scarf for extra color. “Thank you. You look nice too.”

  He eyed my legs for a moment. “You have gorgeous legs.”

  My cheeks blushed slightly. “Thank you.”

  He stepped back from the door. “Ready to go?”

  “Yeah.” After I closed the door and locked it, we were off.

  His hands were in his pockets, and he towered over me in height. He had a shadow on his face from not shaving, and I liked the look. It was a little scruffy. He made small talk with me while we headed to the restaurant. Talking to him was easy, and I wasn’t nervous anymore.

  After we sat in the patio of the restaurant, we examined our menus.

  “The sangria is excellent.”

  “I like sangria,” I said.

  “I’ll order two of them,” he said.

  After I decided on my order, I set the menu down. Of course, he was staring at me.

  He averted his gaze. “Sorry, I have terrible manners.”

  I chuckled. “It’s okay.”

  “I’m just used to staring at things. It’s what I do for a living.”

  “I understand.” I didn’t want to embarrass him.

  “And your beauty is distracting. It’s hard for me not to look.”

  “Well, then look,” I said.

  He raised an eyebrow. “It doesn’t make you uncomfortable?”

  “Not anymore.”

  “Awesome,” he said with a smile. He stared at my face, no longer worried about offending me.

  I stared back at him, noting his handsome features.

  He smirked slightly. “It is a little unnerving to have someone stare at you.”

  I laughed. “Am I making you uncomfortable?”

  “No, I’ve just never had a staring contest like this.”

  “Don’t think of it as a contest.”

  “Well, if it is, I think it might be a tie.”

  The waitress came and took our orders, breaking the trance.

  “Shall we start over?” he teased.

  “I think our eyes are going to burn from the lack of blinking.”

  “You might be right,” he said. “So
, how was your week?”

  “It was good. I just worked.”

  “Do you like your job?” he asked.

  “Uh, duh,” I said with a laugh. “I have the best job ever.”

  He smiled. “What do you like about it?”

  “I actually get to touch the pieces and display them. Like, actually touch them.” I used my hands while I spoke, emphasizing my words.

  His smile widened. “You’re adorable.”

  “Adorable?” I asked.

  “Yeah, your enthusiasm is cute. I like it.”

  “Oh…” I felt my cheeks blush.

  “I’m just used to people being so negative all the time. It’s nice to be around a positive person, who’s also deep.”

  I shrugged. “I can be pretty sarcastic.”

  “That’s just humor—not the same thing.”

  “How was your week?”

  “Good. I painted a lot.”

  “What did you paint?” I asked.

  “Sunrises, flowers, and pink skies.”

  “Sounds lovely,” I said.

  “I guess I’ve been particularly inspired lately.” He gave me a pointed look.

  I wondered if he was constantly hit on when he went out. He seemed too good to be true. Women must fall to their knees at his feet. They probably fought each other just to speak to him. But I was the only one having dinner with him.

  “What are you thinking?” he asked.

  I decided to go with the truth. “You must have a lot of admirers.”

  “For my work?” he asked.

  “No, for your looks.”

  “Oh.” He shrugged but didn’t say anything.

  “Is that a yes?” I asked with a laugh.

  He chuckled. “No. I just don’t have an answer.”

  “I can imagine a lot of girls liking you.”

  He shrugged again.

  I laughed. “At least you’re humble about it.”

  “No one likes an egotistical jackass.”

  I laughed at his use of profanity. Until then, I never heard him curse.

  “You, on the other hand, must have men following you around like hounds on the hunt.”

  I shook my head and chuckled. “No one notices me.”

  He released a sarcastic laugh. “You’re just blind to their intentions.”

  “No, not really.” Arsen was the only man who showed a serious attraction to me. Other men may glance, but their glances never turned into anything.

  “At least you aren’t vain about it. Most pretty girls think they’re better than everyone else because they’re blessed with great genes. When I noticed you and realized you weren’t like that, I thought it was a fluke.”

  “My two best friends are gorgeous. I definitely fade into the background when they’re around.”

  “I doubt that.”

  I smirked. “If you meet them, you’ll see what I mean.”

  “I have a feeling I won’t be impressed.”

  I adjusted my bracelet just for something to do. Sometimes his intense gaze was intimidating. “What does your brother do?”

  “He’s in the army.”

  “Oh.” I wasn’t expecting that. “Does he like it?”

  “I think so. I doubt he would have enlisted if he didn’t.”

  “What does he do?”

  “He’s a solider.”

  “Wow,” I said. “That’s…wow. You must worry about him all the time.”

  “Of course,” he said. “But it’s something he’s wanted to do since we were young. If he passes away, I know he’ll be doing what he’s passionate about. I hope when death takes me, I’ll be old and sitting in front of my canvas with my last creation.”

  I nodded but couldn’t find the right words to say.

  “My mom worries about it, but that’s natural. She lost her husband and doesn’t want to lose her oldest son.”

  “It must be hard.”

  “Well, she’s got me. I try to see her once a week to keep her distracted.”

  “That’s sweet,” I said.

  “My mom has always supported me. Without her, I wouldn’t be where I am now. I owe her a lot.”

  It was nice to hear a man compliment his parents instead of saying they were annoying, like my brother did all the time. “Were you close with your dad?” He never mentioned him.

  “No, not really. My dad preferred my brother. They would hunt and fish together. I was never interested in any of those things. It went against my beliefs.”

  “What are your beliefs?” I asked.

  “I think hunting is the most cowardice way to take a life. They stand in a bush and shoot an innocent creature from fifty feet away. Then they take the horns and mount them on their wall like it’s some worthy accomplishment. I respect life. I’d only approve hunting if it was even, like if they tackled a deer with a knife. At least it would be a fair fight.”

  “I’ve never cared for hunting either. My family has never expressed interest in that.”

  “When I preferred to sit in a field and paint a meadow of flowers, my father teased me about it. He said I wasn’t a real man. I never liked him for that. I knew my brother didn’t like the situation but he couldn’t do anything about it.”

  I felt bad for him. That sounded difficult. “I’m sorry.”

  He shrugged. “I didn’t care. At a very young age, I developed a tough skin. I didn’t care if he wasn’t proud of me or disliked my passion. There were other people who loved what I did and they supported me. And those are the only people who matter, really.”

  I smiled. “That’s true.”

  “My brother always liked my work. He never teased me about it. Even though we had absolutely nothing in common, we always got along. Unfortunately, my dad never learned from us. He stuck to his prejudice because I wasn’t as ‘masculine’ as he was. If anything, I think I’m more masculine because I appreciate art and never feel insecure about my sexuality.”

  I admired him more for that. It was easy for people to fall prey to the taunts of others. Pike stood up for what he believed in, and he didn’t care if his own family supported it. It made me more attracted to him. “I agree.”

  “And the greatest beauty I admire is that of a woman.” He examined my face like I was a piece of art.

  I held his gaze before I was forced to look away. “How did your father pass away, if you don’t mind me asking?”

  “Heart attack. He was overweight, loved heavy cream, cheese, butter, and of course, lots of meat.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said.

  He shrugged. “My only regret is not having a close relationship with him. But I know in my heart that never would have happened even if he were immortal. Perhaps that makes me cold, but why should I miss someone I disliked nearly all my life?”

  “No, it makes sense.” It made me realize how lucky I was to have parents I loved and respected. Of course, they drove me crazy and annoyed me most of the time, but there was no doubt of the love we shared. They always supported my dreams, and they never thought the sky was the limit. I could do anything I put my mind to. “I don’t think you’re cold.”

  “Thank you.”

  The food arrived and we ate quietly. Pike ate with his perfect manners then sipped his sangria.

  “Do you work out often?” I blurted. He seemed unusually fit for someone who sat in front of an easel and painted all day.

  “I run three miles a day and lift weights. I usually do it in the morning and get it out of the way.”

  I nodded. “It shows.”

  “Thanks.”

  “What do you do?” he asked.

  “I like to jog. That’s about it.”

  “It shows. You have beautiful legs.”

  “Thanks…”

  After dinner, Pike reached for the tab.

  “You paid last time,” I noted.

  He smirked. “Call me old-fashioned, but I don’t let women pay. You may as well not bother.”

  “Can I get the tip?”

/>   He gave me a pointed look. “What do you think?” He slipped the cash inside the sleeve.

  I sighed then put my purse away.

  “Are you ready to go?”

  “Yeah.”

  We left the restaurant then walked toward Central Park.

  “Thank you for dinner.”

  “You’re welcome.” Casually, he grabbed my hand and held it.

  My fingers interlocked with his, and the touch felt warm. His hands were much bigger than mine, but they seemed to mold together.

  “Are you cold?” he asked.

  “No, I’m fine.”

  “My blazer is yours whenever you want it.”

  “Thanks.”

  We arrived at the park and looked at the different paintings on display. Most of the work was from independent artists that weren’t known or represented by anyone. But that didn’t make their pieces less impressive. Still holding my hand, Pike escorted me to each painting and talked about what he liked about it. He explained the specific technique of each one. It was nice because it felt like I had a personal tour guide.

  “Sorry,” he said. “I’m talking too much, aren’t I?”

  “No,” I said immediately. “I like hearing your thoughts.”

  He smiled then kept going, his hand still in mine.

  When we reached a painting of the night sky, we both stared at it.

  His hand dropped from mine then moved around my waist. He held me close to him. “I like this one.”

  “Me too.”

  “I never buy paintings unless it’s absolutely the one,” he whispered.

  “Why?”

  “I have so many pieces I don’t know what to do with them.”

  I chuckled. “That is a problem.”

  “I switch them out from time to time, but I still have a bunch in a box in a closet.”

  “Are you going to buy this one?”

  “No…but I do think it’s wonderful.” He turned to me, his face an inch from mine. “What do you think?”

  “I love it…but that doesn’t mean much because I love them all.”

  His face was so close to mine I thought he might kiss me. Instead, he stared into my eyes then pulled back.

  I felt disappointment flood through me.

  He guided me away and we headed down the path. “I think we’ve seen everything.”

  I checked the time. “I would hope so. It’s midnight.”

  He whistled. “Time flies when you’re having fun, right?”