Then Came Absolution (Southern Love #3) Read online

  “Well, I’m the same kind of girl,” Daisy said. “So you don’t have to worry about that.”

  “Guys can still pressure you,” Toby said.

  Daisy picked up the menu and looked at it. “I’m done talking about this.”

  The waiter brought waters and a basket of bread. Everyone began to eat but Alexandra didn’t reach for it.

  Paul eyed her but didn’t interrogate her. “What are you getting, baby?”

  “Veggie pizza.”

  “You want to split one?”

  “Sure.”

  He leaned in and rubbed his nose against hers. She knew he was comforting her in a silent way. His eyes looked into hers, seeing her every emotion. “I love you.”

  Her heart ached at his words. “I love you too.”

  He took a deep breath when he heard her.

  “Get a room,” Toby said. “You’ve been dating for years. The honeymoon phase should be over.”

  “When you’re in love, it’s never over.” Paul pulled away and rested his hands in his lap.

  “Man, I need to find a girl,” Toby said. He looked at Alexandra. “Abby single?”

  Alexandra smiled. “Yes, but I know she doesn’t like to be set up. She has too many guys chasing her as it is.”

  “Damn. If she looks anything like you, she must be fine.”

  Paul glared at him. “What was that?”

  Toby rolled his eyes. “Get over it, Paul.”

  Paul dropped his arm over the back of Alexandra’s chair.

  “Do you have any cute girlfriends?” Toby asked.

  Alexandra shrugged. “I’m not sure who’s single.”

  “How can you not be sure?” Toby asked. “You don’t keep in touch?”

  “Uh…”

  The waitress came over to take their order. Alexandra was relieved with the change of subject. Paul ordered for her like he usually did then ordered for his sister. Daisy glared at him while he did it.

  When they were alone again, Paul started a new conversation.

  “How’s the firm?”

  Toby shrugged. “Hectic. And now that Dad is gone, I’m sure it will be worse.”

  “What’s the problem?”

  “One of the guys left for J and J. That slowed us down. I had to take two cases at once. I was drowning.”

  Alexandra felt horrible for taking Paul away from his job. His absence was obviously an issue.

  “It would have been nice to have you around,” Toby said. “Instead of doing a pointless internship in Georgia. You’ll never make as much money anywhere else, and you’ll never make partner either.”

  Paul drank from his water then returned it to the table. His fingers touched the condensation of the glass. “I’m sure you managed without me. You always told me how incompetent I was.”

  “An incompetent lawyer is better than no lawyer,” he snapped.

  “Then why didn’t you call me?” Paul asked.

  “Dad said no. He said if you want to be somewhere else, we can’t force you to stick around.”

  “But, if you told me—”

  “It wouldn’t have changed anything.” Toby looked away. “It’s clear where your loyalties lie.”

  Daisy glanced at them. “Let’s keep the conversation light tonight,” she said. “Dad just had a heart attack. We shouldn’t be arguing right now.”

  Toby glared at Paul. “I wonder why Dad had a heart attack…”

  Alexandra felt sting of the insult.

  “Fuck you, Toby,” Paul said. “It was only temporary.”

  “Whatever,” Toby said. “You obviously care more about your own future than your family.”

  Alexandra knew she had to admit the real reason why Paul was gone. It wasn’t his fault. It was hers. “Paul left because—”

  “Alex, no.”

  She looked at him, her eyes wide.

  “Don’t say another word.”

  Alexandra felt her mouth close.

  Daisy stared at them. “Say another word about what?”

  “Drop it,” Paul said. “I mean it.”

  The table fell silent and the rest of the room became louder. Glasses tapped against each other in a toast. The quiet conversations drifted across the room. The man at the neighboring table discussed his yacht with his wife. Another man at the next table was clearly having an affair. Daisy gripped her glass but didn’t drink from it. Toby rested his elbows on the table. Paul looked angry but his mouth was sealed.

  Alexandra placed her hands in her lap and fidgeted in place. She felt responsible for the rift in their family. If she hadn’t run away from her problems, Paul wouldn’t have come after her. And his father may not have had a heart attack. She never felt worse until that moment.

  Chapter Four

  Paul sat on the couch then sighed. The lights were off in the apartment, and Alexandra didn’t reach for the switch. She let him sit in the dark.

  Alexandra sat beside then pulled her knees to her chest. “I’ll tell them everything tomorrow.”

  “No you won’t,” he said quietly.

  “I don’t want them to think you don’t care. They need to know it was my fault.”

  He looked at her. Even though it was dark, the lines of his jaw were still clear. “But it wasn’t your fault. Please don’t say anything.”

  “If I hadn’t left, you wouldn’t have followed me.”

  “And if I hadn’t given you a reason, you wouldn’t have left.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “We can keep having argument, but it doesn’t change the facts. I was the one who decided to go after you. And that’s what it comes down to. The reason why I left doesn’t matter.”

  “But it does…”

  “Then they would know I lied to them, which is worse. Let’s stick with our story. And if my parents knew I kissed some other girl and lost you, the consequences would be worse. My dad has never hit me as punishment, but I think he might make an exception.”

  Alexandra took a deep breath then fidgeted with her hands. “It’s my fault he had a heart attack…”

  He leaned toward her then pulled her chin toward him. “Baby, don’t ever say that again.”

  “But it’s true.” It took all her strength to keep the tears back.

  “No it isn’t,” he said firmly. “You know my dad was obsessed with beer and steaks. That’s what caused it.”

  “Or the stress I caused by taking you away.”

  He sighed. “Alex, knock it off.”

  She was taken aback. “What?”

  “You always blame yourself for everything that goes wrong. My dad had a heart attack because of a multitude of factors, not just because stress. If that were the case, he would have already had one. I hate it when you take the blame and harbor so much guilt. It kills me.”

  She averted her gaze. “But I am to blame for a lot of things.”

  “No you aren’t,” he said again. “Stop saying that.”

  Alexandra crossed her arms over her chest. “It was my fault we broke up…”

  “We just talked about this. We are bot at fault here.”

  “I know you were going to propose.”

  His eyes widened. Paul stared at her then looked away. He rubbed his chin before he responded. “That fucking brat.”

  “If I hadn’t let that incident at the hospital ruin my life, I wouldn’t have pushed you away. I should have just opened up to you. I ruined our relationship with my immaturity and stupidity. We would be engaged right now. I wouldn’t have ever met Blaise…”

  He cupped her face. “Baby, there’s still time. I will ask you when I know you’re ready.”

  “But who knows how long that will take.”

  “It doesn’t matter,” he said gently. “I’ll wait as long as you want me to.”

  “I’m so sorry about everything….”

  He kissed her forehead and let his lips linger for a long moment. “Baby, please just let it go.”

  “I can’t.”

  “Do it for me.”
He stared her down.

  “How can I live with myself knowing I ruined every relationship that has ever meant anything to me. I ruined your family, I ruined us…”

  “Stop,” he said firmly. “Stop it now. I never want to hear you blame yourself again. Most people don’t accept the responsibility of their actions, and you’re the one harboring it all to yourself. You aren’t doing anyone any favors. So, you’re going to stop now. Not tomorrow, not next week—today. Do you understand me?”

  Alexandra stared at her hands.

  “Do you understand me?”

  She nodded.

  “Good.” He leaned back in his chair. “What do you want to do?”

  “Nothing.”

  He grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. She snuggled next to him and lay in his lap. He hooked his arm around her and held her close. They said nothing for a long time, just holding each other on the couch. When the sun disappeared from the skyline and the night deepened, they retired for bed.

  Alexandra checked her phone for missed calls. There were none. It bothered her, and she hated herself for letting it get to her. She wanted Blaise to let her go, and now that he had it made her sad. Alexandra knew she was wrong for feeling that way.

  Paul removed his clothes, including his boxers, then got into bed. She knew he expected something to happen between them by the simple act. Alexandra opened his drawer and grabbed one of his gym shirts. After she removed her clothes and put it on, it reached down to her thighs. It suddenly reminded her of the night when Gabe had almost taken her against her will. Paul protected her and took care of her. She came back to the bed while the memory disappeared behind her eyes.

  Paul grabbed her arm and pulled her to bed. She already felt his large erection against her thigh. He pressed his mouth against her neck and kissed her gently. He pulled the shirt down her shoulder and revealed more skin.

  Alexandra closed her eyes and enjoyed his touch. He pressed further against her, his cock rubbing against the skin of her ass. Paul grabbed her thong and pulled it down. Alexandra wasn’t in the mood just a moment ago, but now she felt hot. Paul grabbed her ass then moved his fingers between her thighs from behind, rubbing her clit gently.

  “Paul…”

  He rubbed her harder, his hips slightly thrusting. “You know how I am at night,” he whispered. Two fingers slipped inside her and started to move.

  She grabbed his dick and started to rub his shaft. She massaged him down to his balls then back to the tip.

  Paul moaned loudly into her ear. “You’re so wet.” He removed his fingers then pulled her onto her back. He pulled her shirt off then kissed her breasts, sucking each nipple before he moved to the valley between them.

  Alexandra felt the hard lines of his chest and stomach, enjoying all muscle packed underneath. While Paul cherished her body with kisses, his cock moved against her. His tip touched her entrance and pushed gently. He didn’t go inside but he was close. She wanted to feel the stretch of him inside her, but she wasn’t ready for that.

  “I’m still not ready,” she whispered.

  He pressed his forehead against hers. “Baby, I know. I won’t do anything until you tell me otherwise. So don’t worry about it.”

  “Okay…”

  He sealed his mouth over hers and kissed her gently before he moved between her legs. As soon as his lips touched the apex of her thighs, she moaned loudly. His tongue moved along her grooves and set her on fire. She gripped his hair as he pleased her, knowing he was leading her right to a catalytic orgasm. When she felt the formation begin in her stomach, she pressed his face closer into her. “Don’t stop…”

  Paul moved his tongue inside of her quickly.

  “Oh…yeah.” She writhed on the bed until she was finished.

  Paul pulled away then moved back on top of her. He kissed her breasts again, slathering them with his saliva. Alexandra knew he was obsessed with her tits. He’d always been that way.

  Alexandra pressed them together, inviting him to her.

  His eyes darkened as he watched her. After a quick kiss on the lips, he moved toward her and inserted his cock between them. He thrust gently as he slid between her breasts. He stared at them while he moved.

  Alexandra moved with him, seeing the pleasure that overtook his face. His breathing became uneven and shallow, like he was trying to hold himself back and make it last longer. He thrust his hips harder until he reached his moment. He cupped his tip and caught the semen as it shot out. He bit his lip and moaned loudly.

  Alexandra liked watching him get off. It was always a turn on to her.

  He moved away then wiped himself with a towel. “I miss fooling around with you.”

  “I can tell. You really are a pig.” She smiled at him.

  Paul came back to her. “I’m a pig? Look who’s talking.” He rubbed his nose against hers. “You used to be insatiable. I never needed an alarm clock in the morning. I always woke up to you riding me.”

  “Like you were complaining.”

  His eyes twinkled. “I definitely wasn’t.”

  She moved into his arms and rested her head on his chest.

  Paul stroked her hair then kissed her on the forehead. “But I miss this most of all.”

  “I do too.”

  “When we come back here permanently, will you move in with me?”

  She wasn’t expecting the serious question.

  “We’re together all the time anyway. And it will save you some money.”

  “I don’t know…”

  “That’s fine.” A quiet sigh escaped his lips. It was clear he was hurt.

  “I will.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “You want to?”

  “You just caught me off guard. But if we move back here, we may as well live together. I would want to.”

  He smiled. “You just made me very happy.” He hugged her to his chest and squeezed her. “The happiest man in the world, actually.”

  Chapter Five

  “What the fuck are you doing here?” Blaise stared at his brother, his half empty bottle in his hand.

  “I was just passing through and thought I’d stop by.”

  “Well, thanks for stopping by.” He closed the door.

  Cole opened it and sighed. “Don’t be an ass.” He walked into the living room and saw all the empty bottles littered everywhere. Shards of glass were on the floor from broken bottles. A few pools of beer were on the hardwood floor. An obvious odor drifted in the air.

  Blaise grabbed another bottle from the refrigerator.

  “No thanks,” Cole said.

  “It’s for me, dumbass.”

  Cole snatched the bottle away. “So your solution is to drink yourself to death? Connor told me you’ve been neglecting the fields.”

  Blaise shrugged. “I’m not going to make it to harvest anyway—thanks to you.”

  Cole ignored the insult. “You need to knock this off.”

  Blaise looked around for Kane. “Where’s the damn guard dog?” When he didn’t see him, he grabbed another bottle out of the frig.

  Cole snatched it away again. “You really should switch to light beer at this rate.”

  “Who cares if I get fat?”

  Cole stood in front of the refrigerator, blocking it with his size. “Stop killing yourself.”

  Blaise dropped into the chair at the kitchen table. “I have nothing to live for.”

  Cole stared at his brother for a moment before he joined him at the table. “Have you talked to her?”

  Blaise rested his chin in his hand. “She hasn’t called.”

  “Have you called her?”

  He closed his eyes for a moment. “She doesn’t want to talk to me.”

  “Maybe you should try.”

  “Her—boyfriend’s—father just had a heart attack. I know I would make her life more difficult if I reached out to her. I was hoping she would call me. When Paul was living with her, she still confided things to me. But I have a feeling all of that has c
hanged.” The beer was making him more emotional than he normally was. His voice came out weaker than usual. “I lost her…”

  Cole looked at his brother then averted his gaze. “Maybe you should move on.”

  “I don’t want to move on,” he snapped. “I finally found the girl I love and I can’t have her. And it’s not even my fault. That’s what makes this so much worse. I did nothing wrong…”

  “Danielle still won’t confess the truth?”

  “Stupid bitch…”

  Cole leaned back in his chair. “And there’s nothing you can do to convince Alex otherwise?”

  “No…”

  “I know this is hard to hear, but maybe you should let her go.”

  Blaise closed his eyes. “Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t. She’s all I ever think about.”

  “Dating might help.”

  He shook his head quickly. “I don’t want to date anyone, touch anyone. It makes me sick to my stomach.”

  “But don’t you think Alex is touching someone else?”

  Blaise wanted to vomit. “Please don’t say that…”

  Cole fell silent. It stretched between them for minutes.

  Blaise was so drunk, he forgot his brother was there. When he looked up, he saw him. “Why are you here?”

  “I said I was passing through.”

  “Shut up and answer me.”

  “Which one do you want me to do?” Cole asked. “Shut up or answer you?”

  Blaise rolled his eyes. “Don’t be a smartass.”

  “I’m worried about you.”

  “Well, don’t be. I don’t want you here. I fucking hate you.”

  Cole didn’t react overtly, but the words wounded him. “I said I was sorry. I’m trying to make up for it.”

  “You’re trying to make sure you still get paid.”

  “I’ll take care of the fields from now on until…you feel better.”

  “I’ll never feel better. And once again, it’s totally selfish. If I let the company fall, you can’t pay your mortgage or your car payment. That’s what it really boils down to. Alexandra was the first person who loved me despite those things. She wanted me to be a lawyer and pursue my dreams. My money meant nothing to her.”

  “I love you because you’re my brother. There is no other reason.”