Love on Fire Read online

  The statement reminded me what Neil’s priorities were. He’d given his life to research and exploration, not to romance or marriage. He would never be a husband or a father. And to me, he would only ever be a friend.

  I just had to keep that in mind.

  The three of us sat on the couch in the living room, facing the TV as they broadcasted the landing of the shuttle.

  Last time I’d watched Neil come back to Earth, there wasn’t such trepidation in my veins because he was a stranger to me. Unlike Vic, I was relaxed. I watched the moment objectively, as a stranger witnessing an extraordinary moment. But now, all of that was different because I cared about this man.

  I looked worse than Vic.

  My body was rigid and tight, my chest constricted. I watched the shuttle enter the atmosphere and approach the landing strip. It wasn’t any different from a regular plane landing, but since this one was coming at such an astronomical speed, it felt completely different.

  Vic was pale as a ghost.

  Stacy rubbed his back as she turned to me. “The shuttles don’t have engines.”

  The only reason I pulled my eyes off the screen was because I was perplexed by what she said. “Don’t have engines?”

  “They’re gliders.”

  My eyebrows nearly rose off my face. “You’re telling me that Neil is landing this plane without an engine?”

  She nodded. “So, he has only one chance to get it right.”

  “Jesus…” Landing from space was already difficult, but doing it with only one try…that was the most terrifying thing I’d ever heard. “Are we certain Neil is flying?”

  “Yes,” Vic said while keeping his eyes on the TV. “He’s the only pilot on the mission.”

  That made me feel a little better because if anyone could do this, it was him. “Then everything will be fine. He’s the best pilot in the world. He’ll be okay.”

  Vic relaxed a little at my words.

  The shuttle came closer to the surface, lined up, and then touched the ground perfectly. The parachute deployed from the rear and the shuttle immediately reduced in speed.

  Vic released the breath he was holding. “That looked like an easy landing.”

  “Yeah, it did.” I stared at the screen and watched the shuttle come to a slow stop. NASA officially came out to retrieve them from the craft. Mesmerized, I watched Neil exit the shuttle and step onto the asphalt, wearing his space suit with his helmet held in his hand. Looking regal, handsome, and like a damn superhero when he smiled brighter than the sun. “But Neil makes everything look easy.”

  5

  Charlotte

  Neil stayed overnight at the Space Center so he could be examined for foreign bacteria or other pathogens that could do harm to the American people. He’d been to the moon many times and it had been concluded that the moon was simply a barren rock, but NASA kept the protocol anyway.

  The next morning, I went to his house with Vic and Stacy.

  “Miss it?” Stacy asked as she sat on the living room couch.

  I shrugged. “A bit. Staying here made me despise my apartment. I realized Torpedo and I need to live in a house. He needs a yard. But I also felt honored to stay in his house, to live in a world-famous astronaut’s home.”

  Vic rolled his eyes. “I see him as my obnoxious older brother, not some superhero.”

  Stacy elbowed him in the stomach. “Shut up. Yes, you do.”

  Vic shrugged it off.

  I was excited to see Neil walk through the door, but I was also nervous. It’d been three months since I last saw his face, from the moment he kissed me goodbye in front of his family. It was the best kiss I’d ever had, an epic embrace before he walked off, looking majestic in his glowing white suit. It was a scene from a movie, the most romantic moment of my life.

  Even though Neil Crimson didn’t do romance.

  The jitters ran through my veins, and my stomach was tight with anticipation. Just seeing his face on the screen a week ago brought me so much joy. The man I missed would walk through that door any minute, no doubt wearing that panty-melting smile.

  But I had to remember he was just my friend…and nothing more.

  We heard a car door close and all of us jumped at the sound. Then we all looked at one another.

  “That’s probably him,” I whispered.

  “Yeah,” Stacy said in agreement.

  Vic moved to the front door and opened it.

  Neil was halfway up the path, carrying his black leather bag in his grasp. He was in jeans and his signature blue NASA jacket, looking exactly the way he had when he’d returned from space months ago. His eyes lit up when he looked at his younger brother, his gaze filled with deep affection.

  He set his bag down and embraced his brother. His arms wrapped around Vic’s body, and his palm cupped the back of his head. They squeezed each other before Neil clapped him hard on the back. “So, did you knock up your wife like you promised?”

  Vic pulled away, smiled, and then gave a nod. “You know I’m a man of my word.”

  Neil’s face lit up in a whole new way. “Awesome.” He clapped him on the arm again. “Another little Crimson running around.”

  “Just don’t fill his head with ideas of space and fighter jets.”

  “That’s gonna be pretty hard since that’s my job.”

  “Well, just don’t talk about it.”

  “Your kid is gonna think I’m way cooler than you. Get over it.”

  Vic chuckled and rolled his eyes at the same time. “Asshole…” He picked up Neil’s bag and moved out of the way so Neil could enter the house.

  He embraced Stacy next. “Congratulations.” He hugged her hard and pulled her into his chest, not giving her those gentle embraces between two strangers. This was a real hug, an even deeper one than he gave his own brother.

  “Thank you, Neil.”

  “For everyone’s sake, I hope this kid gets your looks and brains.”

  She chuckled. “My husband is a very sexy man. I’d love to have a son who looks just like him.”

  “If you say so.” He released her then turned his gaze on me. He gave me a different look than he gave his family. His eyes were still soft and his shoulders strong, but a quiet sigh escaped his lips, like seeing me was more emotional than seeing the other two. He stopped in front of me, as if he was remembering that he couldn’t lift me off my feet and kiss me the way he used to. Now we were just two friends…two platonic people who would never mean anything to each other.

  Now that I could see how handsome he was, I wished that weren’t the case. He’d slimmed down a bit, probably because he’d been on a space diet of dehydrated food for three months. He didn’t have any weight to lose to begin with, so his muscle tone had decreased. But he definitely was just as sexy as he’d always been.

  I wanted to say something to break the ice, but words weren’t forthcoming. I was frozen to my core, caught off guard even though I’d known he was coming. I couldn’t force a smile to seem happy. I couldn’t do anything besides feel the emotion overwhelm me. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

  A slight smile moved into his lips. “I’ll always be okay, Slurpee.” His arms moved around my waist, and he pulled me into his chest. His large arms tightened around my body and cradled me close, his fingers grabbing the fabric of my t-shirt and gently pulling on it. His chin rested on my head, and he held me for so long, it didn’t seem like he would let me go.

  I never wanted him to let me go.

  He probably didn’t wear cologne on his mission, so what I smelled now was just him…the scent of masculine soap. My arms rested on his, and I let my cheek press against the cotton of his shirt. I closed my eyes and felt so relaxed, like I could drift off to sleep and never wake up again. Being in this man’s arms was like being home.

  When he pulled away, I almost didn’t let him go.

  “How did you like my place?” He stepped back, taking his comforting touch with him.

  I almost forgot to res
pond because I was still reeling from his distance. “It was comfortable. Torpedo and I had a good time.”

  “Are you guys still here?” He looked over my shoulder and to the back yard, as if he expected Torpedo to be resting under his favorite tree.

  “No. I bought a house.”

  His mouth stretched into a smile, but his eyes contained his disappointment. “Wow…that’s great. Congratulations. Where is it?”

  “A few miles from here, closer to the city.”

  “How does Torpedo like it?”

  “It’s a downgrade compared to here, but he’s happy.”

  “Did you bring him with you?”

  “No,” I said as I shook my head. “I was afraid he would knock you down and slobber all over you.”

  “I wouldn’t have minded. But I guess I can always see him later.”

  Vic came farther into the house and placed the black duffel bag on the couch. “So, how do you feel?”

  Now that our private conversation was over, Neil turned to his brother. “A little disoriented. It always takes a while to get used to gravity.”

  “Are they letting you take a vacation?” Vic moved to one of the couches and took a seat.

  Neil chuckled, sitting in the lone recliner. “They just sent me to the moon. To them, that’s a vacation.”

  “Even if they let you take a vacation, you would never take it.” Stacy moved to the spot beside Vic, and instantly, they turned affectionate. Her hand moved to his thigh, and she scooted close to him, more in love than ever before because of the baby growing inside her.

  I moved to the other couch—alone.

  Neil nodded. “You’re probably right. I have a lot of stuff to do in Houston anyway.”

  While others considered him a workaholic, I admired his dedication. He believed in his work so much, he was willing to sacrifice everything for it. He faced the steepest odds because of his advancements for humankind.

  “Enough about me.” Neil leaned forward with his elbows resting on his knees. “When is the kid gonna be here?”

  “She’s only a month along, so we have a long way to go.” Vic rested his hand on hers. “But we’re very excited, and we intend to get a house before they arrive. Need to set up the nursery, get a bunch of supplies, etc.”

  “Does Mom know?” Neil asked.

  Vic shook his head. “We wanted to wait until you got back.”

  Neil looked away as if he was touched. “Thanks…”

  It was hard for me to deny my attraction, the growing infatuation I had for this man. I had to constantly remind myself he was just my friend now. I needed to see him as such, to ignore his muscular arms and his pretty eyes. Maybe if I had a man in my life, I wouldn’t be so hard up, but I didn’t want to pursue someone just to forget about the man I actually wanted. I’d done that with Kyle, and that was a big mistake. Thankfully, it didn’t ruin our friendship.

  “Anything else new with you guys?” Neil acted like our lives were just as interesting as his, even though that wasn’t possible.

  “You’re the one who went to the moon,” Vic said. “Tell us about it.”

  “Well…” Neil’s gaze focused on a random spot on the wall as he reflected on the past few months. “It took a few weeks to repair the Rover software. All the vehicles were on hiatus, which was halting various research programs. It put a lot of astronauts behind, but hopefully they can make up for lost time.”

  “What did you do for the rest of the time?” Vic asked. “Since that only took a couple of weeks?”

  “Picked up other projects NASA wanted me to take care of,” Neil answered. “There’s always work to do, never any downtime.”

  “Who were you with?” Stacy asked.

  “Mostly two other astronauts,” Neil explained. “One is an astrophysicist, so she was working with the satellites most of the time. Another was a biologist. He’s conducting experiments with flora in newly constructed greenhouses.”

  “Wow, how’s that going?” Vic asked.

  Neil shrugged. “They grow at a different rate because of the gravity, but it’s clear there’s no possibility of life on the moon, even through artificial means. But it’s nice to know we can grow crops.”

  “What’s the difference in gravity of the moon compared to Earth?” It was an honor to have someone so knowledgeable right in the living room. He had so much information in that beautiful head of his, had so much experience we couldn’t conceive of. But he remained humble—always.

  His answer came out instantly. “The moon possesses about one-sixth of Earth’s gravity.”

  “Wow…” I couldn’t even comprehend that. It had significantly less gravity, but people on the moon didn’t drift away. “What’s the difference between us and Mars?”

  When Neil looked at me, his eyes narrowed slightly, as if the question provoked him. “Why do you ask that?” It was an odd question to ask, especially since he seemed a little flustered by it.

  “Um…they always say that one day we’ll go to Mars. I was just curious.” I didn’t see the harm in the question. He was always thrilled when I asked him questions about space, but this time, he almost seemed offended by it.

  Neil was quiet for a while before he answered. “It’s one-third of Earth’s gravity.”

  “Oh,” Stacy said. “So, there’s no point in exploring Mars as a suitable planet. If the gravity is only one-third, we could never live there.”

  “I wouldn’t say that,” Neil replied, not making eye contact with anyone.

  “Is it strong enough to hold oxygen and the atmosphere to the surface?” I asked.

  “Barely,” Neil answered. “There’s strong evidence that Mars did have an atmosphere at one point in time, with oceans and streams. It’s not impossible that all of that could be reversed under the right conditions.”

  I raised an eyebrow, repeating what he said in my head. “Are you saying it really is possible for humans to live on Mars?”

  He stared at the ground for a moment then shrugged. “It’s not impossible…that’s all I know.” He rose to his feet and headed to the kitchen. “Anyone want a drink? I’m sure I’ve got some beer around here somewhere…”

  6

  Neil

  “So, what went haywire?” Hyde sat across from me at the table in the bar, drinking a dark IPA, his chin covered with a beard. He brought the glass to his lips once in a while for a drink, and he always licked his lips afterward. “Systems like that don’t just stop working. Getting a virus is nearly impossible, and I doubt one of the engineers screwed something up.”

  I’d been home for nearly two weeks. Acclimating to gravity was always hard, but it was especially difficult this time around because I’d had such a short break between my two missions. My intestines were used to floating, and they protested the pull of gravity the second they were exposed to it. I was slightly nauseated for the first week because my pH was out of whack. It got easier with every passing day, and the physicians at the Space Center assured me I was perfectly healthy. It would just take time to unwind. “I have no idea. It was something in the system on the moon. I had to wipe the software and reprogram it.”

  “But you don’t know what was wrong?”

  I shook my head. “No idea. All I knew was, I had to start from scratch.”

  “That’s so odd. I’ve never seen that before.”

  “Neither have I.”

  “At least that got you another trip to the moon.”

  As much as I loved every launch, I would have appreciated more time on Earth. I had bigger fish to fry. “I suppose. When do you launch?”

  “Two months from now. NASA hasn’t told me what my mission is yet.”

  “You have no idea where you’re going?” There were only two options, but they made a difference.

  “The moon, which is exciting because they usually send me to ISS.”

  “Yes, that is exciting.”

  He took a drink of his beer. “Is your cute little friend excited that you’re home
?”

  There was only one woman he could be referring to, but I played dumb. “You tell me.”

  His eyes narrowed as he glared. “You better not be calling me your cute little friend.”

  “What?” I asked innocently. “You’re definitely cute.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Have you seen her yet?”

  “The day I got back.”

  “And?”

  “And what?” I asked. “We’re just friends now.”

  “Why?” Hyde cocked his head. “She’s hot.”

  “Whoa…what would Jane think of that?”

  “Oh, come on,” he snapped. “She knows she’s the only woman for me. She also knows I’m not oblivious to everything around me. So, what the hell, Neil? You seemed to like her.”

  “We agreed to just be friends.”

  “Why would you agree to something like that?” He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. “You obviously like her.”

  She deserved a good husband and a man who would be a great father. I couldn’t offer her the fairy tale she wanted. Even if she didn’t want those things, I was a man who would never be around. “I’m not looking for a relationship.”

  “Who said anything about a relationship?”

  “She wants something serious, so she shouldn’t waste her time with me.” I wondered if Kyle had made his move yet. It’d been three months, so she was probably ready to move on with her life. The guy was biding his time in the shadows, waiting for the perfect time to get the woman he wanted. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t make me jealous.

  “That’s lame.” He drank his beer again.

  There were several times I’d considered calling her, asking her to get a drink and catch up. I always changed my mind because I was afraid where that request might lead. She could probably control herself around me, but could I do the same?

  “If you aren’t going to budge, does that mean there’s already a new woman on your radar?”

  By now, there usually would be someone else in my bed. Women were easy to come by, especially when most of them recognized me from my appearances on late-night shows and wherever else my face was plastered. Despite my dry spell, I wasn’t in a rush to get laid. Jerking off was good enough, a luxury I didn’t have at the Lunar Labs because privacy was nearly impossible to come by. “Not really. But give it time.”