When We Break Read online

  “I totally understand,” Janice said. “As long as it’s from the heart she’ll love it.”

  “Don’t worry about your hands,” Ryan said. “They’ll stop shaking after she says yes.”

  “Your hands didn’t shake,” Janice said.

  “You obviously weren’t paying attention.” Ryan closed the box then handed it back to me. “So, when are you going to pop the question?”

  “Maybe this weekend. Or maybe next weekend…” I wasn’t sure if I should go through with it or not.

  Ryan read my mind. “Because of Conrad.”

  “Partially.”

  Janice nodded. “Because of Cayson and Skye?”

  I nodded. “Slade just told me yesterday.”

  “It’s crazy,” Ryan said with a sigh. “I still don’t believe it myself.”

  “Neither do I,” Janice said.

  “Would it be insensitive if I asked Silke right now?” I asked. “Cayson and Conrad are like family to her.”

  “I know,” Ryan said in agreement. “But you’ve got to live your life, you know? If you keep waiting around for other people…who knows how long it’ll be.”

  “And even though Cayson and Conrad are both going through a hard time, that doesn’t mean they don’t want you to be happy,” Janice said. “They are both good people. They would support you—completely.”

  “You think it’s okay then?” I asked.

  “Yes,” Ryan said with a nod. “And if people give you shit for it, tell them I made you do it.”

  I chuckled. “Silke would love to hear that…”

  Slade burst through the front door. “Yo, I’m here. What’s the big emergency?” He grabbed a beer from the fridge without looking at us. “Hey, Mom and Pop. What’s up?”

  Ryan tried not to smile. “Nothing. How about you?”

  “Same old shit but a different day.” Slade sat in a chair beside Janice. “Hey, Mom. Thanks for keeping the fridge stocked.”

  She patted his back and kissed him on the cheek. “You can thank your father for that.”

  Slade held up the bottle. “Thanks, old man.”

  Ryan just rolled his eyes. “Arsen has something he’d like to tell you—if you can be mature for five minutes.”

  “Be mature?” Slade asked. “Believe me, I’m hella mature. If you knew what was going on in my life you wouldn’t question that.”

  “What’s going on in your life?” Janice asked.

  Slade took a long drink. “Uh…I can’t talk about it.”

  “How convenient,” Ryan said sarcastically.

  “Just take my word for it,” Slade said. “I’m doing very mature things at the moment.”

  Janice leaned toward Ryan. “He probably learned how to change the toilet paper…”

  Ryan whispered back. “Or how to start the dish washer.”

  Slade glared at them. “I can hear you, you know?”

  Ryan and Janice both smiled.

  “So, what’s with the clandestine meeting?” Slade asked. “You know, I have a wife at home waiting for me.”

  “You could have brought her,” Janice said.

  “You didn’t tell me to,” Slade argued. “I would have but you didn’t say anything.”

  Ryan rolled his eyes. “It’s implied that you’re supposed to bring your wife everywhere you go.”

  “Well, I didn’t know that,” Slade argued. “I’ll remember next time.”

  “We like her more than you,” Janice said. “So, please bring her.”

  “Whatever, Mom.” Slade rolled his eyes. “Like you don’t love me.”

  She kissed his cheek again. “I love my baby so much.” Janice went back and forth between teasing him and loving him. She had a good relationship with her kids. She knew when to be stern and when to shower them with love.

  “Anyway…” Ryan cleared his throat. “There’s something Arsen would like to tell you.”

  Slade turned his full attention on me. “Oh my god.”

  “What?” He figured it out?

  “You guys are having another kid?” Instead of looking happy, he looked panicked. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Why is this happening to me? Everyone is having kids. It’s like a nightmare…”

  “No.” I said it quickly and didn’t make eye contact with Ryan. “No babies on the way…” Ryan was my friend but it was still awkward to admit I was having sex with his daughter.

  “Thank the lord almighty.” Slade finished the rest of his beer.

  “Why are you anti-baby right now?” Ryan asked.

  “Yeah?” Janice asked.

  “Because Trinity and I are trying to get pregnant…” His voice became sad. “And it hasn’t happened for us yet. Trinity has taken it really hard. We went to see a specialist but we haven’t gotten the results back. I’m terrified there’s something wrong with Trinity. It’ll break her heart if she’s barren.” Slade sighed as he stared at the table.

  Ryan and Janice stared at him.

  Janice rubbed his back and gave him a sad look.

  Ryan moved to the chair beside his son and wrapped his arm around his shoulders. “Son, it’ll be okay.”

  I remained in my chair and watched their interaction. Both of Slade’s parents flocked to him instantly. They consoled him and treasured him. It was the same way they treated me, now I had a bird’s eye view. And it made me thankful I was marrying into this family.

  Slade continued to look broken. “I don’t know how to fix this…I can fix everything, you know?”

  Ryan remained close to him, acting as a friend and a father. “More than likely, there’s nothing wrong with either one of you.”

  “What if there is?” Slade asked.

  “Then you support one another. You’ll get through it. There are so many things you can do to overcome this obstacle. There are other options.” Ryan kept his arm around Slade’s shoulders.

  “And if Trinity is the problem, just love her more fiercely,” Janice said. “And she’ll make it through.”

  “I just know she’ll be heartbroken,” Slade said. “This is something she wants more than anything…I want to make it happen for her but it’s out of my control.”

  “It’ll work out,” Ryan said. “One way or another.”

  Slade nodded then cleared his throat. “Thanks…”

  “Anytime, Son.” Ryan pulled Slade’s head toward him and gave him a quick kiss on the temple. I’d never seen him do that before.

  “We love you.” Janice kissed him next. “And we’re here for you.”

  “I know, Mom.” Slade didn’t push her away like he normally would.

  I felt like I intruded on a family moment.

  Ryan leaned back in the chair and watched Slade for a few seconds before he turned to me. “Arsen has something to tell you—and he’s not having a baby.”

  Slade gave me his full attention.

  “I’m going to propose.” I placed the box back on the table. Slade and I always got along and it was nice knowing he would be my real brother-in-law. We always had a connection.

  Slade eyed the box and his eyes grew wide. “For real?” He snatched it then opened it. He examined the ring with an awed look on his face. “Damn, this is some fine jewelry.”

  “Thanks,” I said.

  He continued to stare at it. “I don’t know what Silke likes, but this looks nice. I’m sure she’ll like it.” He returned the ring to the box. “Are you sure you want to marry her?”

  I chuckled because I knew he was joking.

  “I wouldn’t blame you if you changed your mind.”

  “I’m set on her.” That would never change.

  “Then congratulations.” Slade stood up then embraced me. “Looks like we’re going to be real brothers.”

  “Yeah…” I thought of Levi and the way I turned him away. What if Ryan and everyone else turned me away because of my past? I shook the thought away. “I’ll take care of her, Slade.”

  “I’m sure you will,” Slade said. “Silk
e and I aren’t very close but I do care about her. If you mess with her I’ll have to kill you. But I doubt you’ll mess with her so this should be smooth sailing the rest of the way.”

  I knew he was joking. “I’ll make her happy every single day.”

  “Good. If you need pointers let me know. I’m a pretty damn good husband to Trinity.”

  I managed not to laugh. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  He patted my shoulder. “And call Dad when she drives you crazy. He can tame her—for some odd reason.”

  “Thanks for the tip.”

  He returned the box. “Just don’t ever tell Silke how much you paid for the ring.”

  “Why?”

  “Because we need every girl to think their ring is the most expensive one.” He lowered his voice. “Trust me on this.”

  I was certain none of the girls cared about that but I didn’t bother correcting him. “I won’t leave the receipt lying around.”

  Janice clapped her hands. “Abby should be the flower girl at your wedding.”

  I smiled at the thought. She would look cute in a dress with bows in her hair. “Maybe…but I think I’ll walk down the aisle with her.”

  “Dude, guys don’t walk down the aisle,” Slade said.

  “In the very beginning they do,” Ryan said.

  “I didn’t walk down the aisle in mine,” Slade argued.

  “Then how did you get there?” I challenged.

  Slade had a blank look on his face, like he was trying to do calculus in his head. “Uh…”

  I tried not to laugh. “You’ll be a groomsmen?”

  Slade snapped out of it. “You’re seriously asking me?”

  “Yeah, you’re going to be my brother.”

  “I’d love to.” Slade hugged me enthusiastically. “That’d be sick. I’ll be the best groomsmen ever. Watch this.” He stood up straight and rested his hands in front of his waist. He didn’t smile. He just looked straight ahead. “See? I’m awesome at it.”

  Janice covered her face like she was mortified.

  “Great job,” Ryan said sarcastically. “It looks like Arsen made a good decision picking you.”

  Slade didn’t pick up on the condescension. “Conrad is a terrible groomsmen. Don’t ask him.”

  “Why?” Or did I really want to know?

  “He fidgets a lot,” Slade said. “That guy doesn’t know how to stand still.”

  “Thanks for the heads up,” I said while trying not to laugh.

  “Or I could marry you,” Slade said. “I’m still ordained from Skye and Cayson’s wedding.”

  I definitely didn’t want him to marry us. “I’ll think about it.”

  Slade winked. “Let me know. I do an awesome job.”

  I remembered Cayson and Skye’s wedding. Slade was a bit dramatic about it. But I kept my thoughts to myself. I turned to Ryan. “So…you’ll be my best man?”

  Slade and Janice both watched us, dead silent.

  Ryan smiled. “You have a lot of friends. You really want it to be me?”

  There was no one else I wanted. “Without a doubt.”

  Ryan wasn’t an emotional guy, but he got choked up over my question. He cleared his throat and shifted his weight like he was uncomfortable. His eyes moved to the tile beneath his feet before he met my gaze again. “It would be the greatest honor.”

  “Awe…” Janice sniffed.

  Slade discreetly wiped his eyes with the back of his forearm. “Goddammit…”

  I stood there awkwardly, feeling the emotion well inside my heart. My father-in-law was going to be my father and my best friend. I was the luckiest man in the world. Silke changed my life in a way no one else ever could. She gave me another chance. She brought me back to life. “Thanks…”

  Ryan pulled me in for a hug then patted my back. “Don’t thank me. I’m grateful I get such an amazing person as my son-in-law. You have no idea how much I’ve been dreading this day—since Silke was born. But you’ve made it a lot better.”

  The fact he thought I was good enough for his daughter and his family meant the world to me. I always felt like an outsider, like I wasn’t good enough for everyone else. But I never felt that way with them. “That means a lot to me.”

  Slade sniffed. “Shit. Mom, do you have any tissues?”

  She grabbed some from the coffee table and handed him a few. She used a few herself to dab her eyes.

  Ryan pulled away with a smirk on his face. “Talk about cry babies…”

  I chuckled. “I know.”

  Slade cleared his throat and shoved the tissues into his pocket. “I’m gonna get a beer or something…”

  “And grow a pair,” Ryan teased.

  “Hey!” Slade pointed his finger at his father’s chest. “I just have allergies.”

  “You’ve never had allergies before.” Ryan smiled like he loved teasing his son.

  “Well, I have them, okay?” Slade walked out and shut the door behind him.

  Janice gave Ryan a knowing look. “Ryan, you have allergies too…”

  Ryan had a guilty look on his face. “Yeah…I guess I do.”

  Chapter Six

  Cayson

  When I woke up, it was almost eight in the evening. Skye and I passed out after our rendezvous. Perhaps it was more than either one of us could take. When I opened my eyes, I saw her naked body pressed to mine. Her swollen stomach pressed against me, looking sexy and beautiful at the same time.

  I moved without stirring her and cherished her belly with kisses. Something about her stomach made me go crazy. It was defined and round, having a distinct shape. And knowing my baby was inside somehow made it the biggest turn on in the world. I placed my kisses everywhere, worshipping my wife as well as my child.

  My life was back to being good.

  Skye opened her eyes and released a loud sigh. She stretched slightly and her hand moved through my hair. “You’re obsessed with that thing.”

  “Can you blame me?” My hand glided up the skin and rested in the center.

  “Well, at least I know you’ll still be attracted to me even if I get fat.”

  “I’m attracted to you no matter what. But being pregnant isn’t being fat. It’s very different.”

  “Yeah?” She grabbed my neck and pulled me toward her lips. “Our baby is hogging all of your kisses. I want some too.”

  “Hey, there’s plenty to go around. You don’t need to fight for me.” I kissed her slowly and felt my body ignite with desire all over again. I wanted to take her as many times as possible. “How about another round then we grab dinner before we head home?”

  “That sounds nice.”

  “I want to sleep in my own bed tonight—with my family.” I moved on top of her and separated her legs.

  She grabbed my shoulders then rolled me on my back. “Let me drive.”

  I gripped her hips as I looked up at her then felt her stomach. “Take the wheel, baby.”

  ***

  After I showered I got dressed. I put my suit back on even though I didn’t want to wear it. Skye was wearing a pencil skirt and a blouse. It was nice to see her get dressed like I used to when I lived with her. The separation was painful and being reunited with her like this was…beyond words.

  I got my family back.

  I was so miserable without her. I couldn’t get my thoughts straight because I was so devastated. I went to a very dark place when I thought I lost her forever—and over something so stupid. “Baby?”

  “Hmm?” She sat down and slipped her heels on.

  “What made you realize I was telling the truth?” Maybe she was looking at old photos of us together. Maybe she looked at wedding pictures. Or maybe she sat down and really thought about our relationship. If she did those simple things, she was bound to realize I was innocent.

  “That’s a long story…”

  How long could it be?

  “My dad went to London and tracked down Laura. She made it clear that nothing ever happened between y
ou two. As soon as Dad came back, he told me what happened.”

  I froze on the spot and felt my heart race in my chest. Pain like I’d never know swept through me like a tidal wave. A million thoughts exploded in my mind but I couldn’t process them.

  What did she say?

  Skye clipped her earrings back on and looked at me. “What?”

  I slowly rose to my feet, my arms shaking. Never in my life had I been this angry. I’d been pissed off a lot but this had to be the worst. I slowly started to pace, feeling my hands form fists ever few seconds.

  Was this a fucking joke?

  “Cayson…” Fear spread across her face.

  I was about to explode. I wanted to scream and break everything in that hotel room. The last time she and I were at The Plaza we got into a fight. And here we were again, in another fight.

  But this one was different.

  “This is unbelievable.”

  “What?” Skye rose to her feet and regarded me with concern. I was a ticking time bomb.

  “So, you never believed me!” I threw my arms down. “Your father is the one who went to Laura and spoke to her. My word wasn’t good enough. You had to go ask her. What kind of fucking faith is that?”

  She stilled at the venom in my words.

  “At least he felt enough doubt to go across the world and actually ask her. You wouldn’t even do that. And you didn’t even know he went. He just came back and told you what he found. This is…just wrong.”

  “Cayson, I’m sorry I didn’t believe you before—”

  “Shut the fuck up.” All the love in my heart evaporated. Our blissful afternoon never happened. It faded away.

  Skye stepped back.

  “You never had any faith in me. For the past two months I’ve been begging you to hear me out and take me back. But you wouldn’t even give me the benefit of the doubt. I assumed you’d come to your senses and realized that I would never do that to you. But that’s not even what happened. Sean is the one who talked to her—not you. Neither one of you should have asked her anything at all. I’ve been treated like a criminal for these past two months, guilty without even a trial. And you’re my family Skye, my fucking wife. It’s like you don’t know me at all.”