Lover's Road (Forever and Always #11) Read online

She looked through the menu. “What are you getting?”

  I browsed through the selections. “Probably the salmon.”

  “Good choice.” Her eyes were glued to the words on the page. “I think I’m getting the steak.”

  “Someone’s hungry,” I said with a smile.

  “I have to gain back all the weight I lost.”

  That made me sad. When I saw her for the first time, I immediately noticed the difference in her weight. She lost at least five pounds, and she was already thin. She couldn’t afford to lose anymore.

  After the waiter took our order, the silence descended. We used to be comfortable with each other when we didn’t speak, but that was gone. Now it was slightly awkward.

  “How’s work?” she asked.

  “Fine,” I said. “Sean put a hanger on his office door so Mike would know not to walk inside. That was pretty funny.”

  “Why didn’t he just lock it?” she asked.

  I rolled my eyes. “He says it’s the principle...”

  She chuckled. “Those two are a riot.”

  “They are odd,” I said with a smile.

  She looked down, avoiding my look. “How’s Hazel?”

  It’s been almost a week and we hadn’t spoken. When she had school and work, we didn’t communicate often. She was busy and so was I. “We haven’t spoken.”

  “Oh.”

  What did that mean?

  “So, she doesn’t know we’re back together?”

  I forgot to mention it to her. “No.”

  “Are you going to tell her…?”

  Why did it matter? “When I see her.”

  She nodded.

  “Monnique, I don’t have feelings for her.”

  “I know,” she said quickly. She still didn’t look at me.

  “Then what does it matter?”

  “It doesn’t.”

  “Monnique,” I said firmly. “What is it?”

  She finally met my gaze. “Just because you don’t have feelings for her, doesn’t mean she doesn’t have feelings for you.”

  I never told Monnique about Hazel’s desire to have a physical relationship and something down the road. It wasn’t relevant, and took place when I had no idea what Monnique was doing. I didn’t feel obligated to tell her. “I don’t see why it would matter.”

  “You think she’s just going to accept me as your girlfriend? She’ll try to convince you that you made a mistake so she can have you to herself.”

  “She would never do that,” I said simply. “She’s my friend and wants what’s best for me.”

  “And what if leaving me is what’s best for you?”

  I never heard her sound so insecure. “While I appreciate the advice everyone in my life gives me, my decisions are my own. No one can force me or persuade me to do anything. Ryan, the guy I do everything with, vehemently hated you and I still took you back. You don’t need to worry about anything but yourself.”

  She opened her mouth to speak but the waiter brought our food. He placed it on the table then walked away. I picked up my fork but didn’t eat. She glanced at her food then ignored it. “I guess I’m threatened by her, to be honest.”

  “You shouldn’t be,” I said firmly.

  “Will you still see her?”

  “Why wouldn’t I?”

  She shrugged. “You were hanging out with her because you were depressed. Now you aren’t. She doesn’t seem necessary at this point.”

  “I was a walking corpse, Monnique. She was the only one who understood on a deep level. When everyone else was hanging out with their girlfriend or their wife, I was alone. But she kept me company and was my friend. No, I’m not going to stop seeing her. You’ll have to deal with that.” I didn’t mean to sound so angry but it came out that way. I guess I was irritated she didn’t trust me. “If I wanted to sleep with her, I would have done it. Now that we’re together, it’s even less of a possibility. And if you didn’t want me hanging out with other women, you shouldn’t have dumped me.” That was cold. I knew it was.

  Her voice came out empty. “You’re always going to throw that in my face, aren’t you?”

  My comment was below the belt. I was normally forgiving and understanding with Monnique. I babied her most of the time. But all that went out the window when she left me. Now she had to start over. “Until I’m over it…”

  She picked her greens with her fork then chewed quietly. I wasn’t hungry but I ate anyway, unsure what else to do with myself.

  “Cortland?”

  “Hmm?”

  “I’m sorry…for being jealous.”

  That calmed me down a little. “It’s okay.”

  “So, she’s never had feelings for you?”

  Damn. I was cornered.

  She stared at my face, waiting for me to respond. “Cortland?”

  “It doesn’t matter,” I said quickly.

  That was a confession to her. The blood left her face. “Is she…in love with you?”

  “It doesn’t matter how she felt about me. I’m with you now. She’ll understand it and respect it. Believe me.”

  The fire she usually had returned. “Answer me.”

  I couldn’t get out of this. “No, she isn’t in love with me.”

  “But she has feelings for you?”

  “I guess a little.”

  She threatened me with her eyes, forcing me to continue.

  “What?” I said. “You thought no one would be interested in me when I was single?”

  “Not at all,” she said. “Now stop avoiding the question.”

  “She said she would like to be something more when I was over you. And she wanted to have a physical relationship to speed up the process.”

  Monnique didn’t react. Her face was stoic, but I knew a rage was burning inside her. She was never particularly jealous, but if a girl was hitting on me, she made it perfectly clear I was off limits. And now I knew it was killing her. Because if she hadn’t left, none of this would have happened.

  “And you said no?” she asked.

  “I already told you I didn’t sleep with anyone,” I said with an irritated voice.

  “Why did you say no?”

  I looked into her eyes. “Do I really need to answer that?”

  “Was it because you hoped I would come back, or because you weren’t over me?”

  “I don’t know,” I said with a shrug. “I just wasn’t ready to have sex with someone that wasn’t you. I’d think about you the whole time, comparing everything she did to you. I wouldn’t enjoy it. I would feel empty. Does that answer your question?”

  She nodded.

  I dug into my food, assuming the conversation was over.

  “And you think it’s a good idea to spend time with her?”

  “She’s my friend.” That’s all I said.

  Monnique backed down and ate her dinner. But I knew she was screaming inside.

  When we came back to the apartment, we sat on the couch and turned on the TV. She snuggled into me, holding me tightly while we watched a late night talk show. My fingers moved through her hair, missing the silkiness to it. Her familiar smell entered my nostrils, reminding me of our relationship before she left. I missed that. There was an unbreakable trust between us. Now only slivers of it remained.

  Monnique left my side then disappeared into the bedroom. When she came out, she was wearing slutty lingerie.

  And my cock sprang to life.

  I told her I wasn’t ready to have sex on a regular basis, but she was intent on doing other things. I got a blow job every night this week, and I knew I was about to get another one.

  She kneeled between my legs, her tits pushed together in perkiness. I should tell her this wasn’t necessary, but she was too hot to deny. Her hands moved up my thighs slowly until she reached the button of my jeans. She undid it then slid them down, pulling my briefs with them.

  I felt dirty for letting her do this but I was too weak to stop her. Monnique gave the best head in the wor
ld. And after not getting laid for three months, I was horny as hell. She was the only person I could do this with. If I really wanted to get my dick wet, I could have picked up countless girls at the bars but I never did. Monnique was the only woman I wanted.

  She licked the tip, making me gasp at the feel of her warm mouth. She rubbed her tongue up and down the base, making me rock my hips because I wanted to feel the back of her throat. Seeing her on her knees at my feet was the hottest thing in the world. Her mouth sucked the head of my cock before she took the plunge and sheathed me entirely.

  “Fuck…” I grabbed her hair and fisted it, guiding her up and down my cock. God, it felt so good.

  She deep throated me then sucked the tip before she did it again. I leaned back and enjoyed it like a sick bastard. I love getting head as much as I enjoyed her warm and tight pussy. But sitting back and enjoying it was the best part.

  She took me to the back of her throat as I felt the explosion deep in my balls.

  “I’m going to come,” I whispered. I always gave her the option of pulling away before I came in her mouth. But she always swallowed it like a pro. I felt the pleasurable explosion up my shaft and I came inside her mouth, loving every second of the awesome orgasm. “Baby…”

  She sucked the tip again before she pulled me out of her. Then she crawled into my lap, wanting to be close to me. I was never selfish in bed, and I wasn’t going to start now just because she broke my heart.

  I moved her on her back then yanked her underwear off. She tensed when she knew what I was going to do. I knew she loved it when I went down on her. It was the tastiest thing I’d ever had in my mouth.

  As soon as my mouth touched her nub, she moaned loudly and arched her back. Monnique was extremely sexual with me, wanting me all the time. And I knew she loved it when I ate her pussy.

  I moved my tongue over her folds while I rubbed her clitoris with my thumb. She was already panting, at the edge of her ecstasy. I moved her clitoris harder and used my tongue to slide inside her.

  Her head rolled back. “Cortland…”

  Bingo. She was there.

  She dug her nails into my hair as she writhed on the couch, enjoying every last second until she was completely finished.

  I pulled my mouth away then snuggled beside her on the couch. We both wore no bottoms, and we caught our breath together. It was odd to do something so juvenile together, but I wanted to take this slow. And she didn’t complain.

  “Sleep with me tonight,” she whispered.

  I loved sleeping with her. Of all the things I missed, that was the biggest one of all. “Okay.”

  She hooked her leg over my hip and wrapped her arm around my neck, anchoring me to her. Her eyes were closed so I studied her face. Her prominent cheekbones and curved lips made me melt every time. I’d never seen a more beautiful woman. When I saw her in the hospital on that Tuesday, I was immediately hooked. I knew I had to have her to myself—forever.

  4

  Ryan

  Work was a mad house. Who knew so many people wanted tattoos?

  It used to be restricted to gang members and the riff raff of the streets, but now hipsters and young people wanted ink. It was a trend that would disappear eventually. And all the young people would shriek in embarrassment. One client wanted a panda bear doing karate on her forearms. I knew she would regret that one later.

  When I came home from work, I looked forward to the peace and quiet of the apartment. Janice would rock my world then we would snuggle together in bed, talking about our day. I loved feeling her slight form in my arms. Her bare skin next to mine always made me hot, scorching.

  Janice jumped from her seat when I walked through the door. The light in her eyes and the grin on her face told me something exciting happened while I was away.

  “Hey, baby. What’s up?” I hooked my arm around her waist and gave her a kiss.

  “You won’t believe what happened to me today!”

  I kissed her neck and pressed her breasts against my chest. “Can we talk about this after we make love?”

  She hit my arm. “Listen to me.”

  I smirked. “Damn.” I loved teasing her. She didn’t put up with it so we argued often, but the sex was always awesome afterwards. “What, baby?”

  She started talking faster than a host at an auction. “Penbrook Publishing is one of the biggest houses in the country, and I got a call from them today.”

  “Okay…”

  “They asked me to be the chief editor for their company!” She jumped up and down like a monkey. “Can you believe it? They are the biggest publishing house in the country and they want me to work for them.”

  “Wow.” I was caught off guard. I didn’t even know she was applying for other jobs. “When did you apply for this?”

  “I didn’t. A friend of mine works for the company and found out how successful Scarlet’s company is, which I work for, and they decided to reach out to me.”

  My head was still spinning. But she seemed excited so I was too. “That’s wonderful.”

  She clapped her hands quickly. “I’m so excited. The hours are great and the pay is awesome.”

  Honestly, I was bummed she wouldn’t be home all day. I knew I was being a sexist pig, but I liked knowing she was safe. And now that the shop was rolling in dough, she didn’t even need to work. But I would never tell her that. She clearly loved her job. I knew I couldn’t give up inking just to stay home with her. “That’s so great, baby. I’m happy for you.”

  “Me too.” She was practically skipping. “I start tomorrow.”

  “Wow. That was fast.”

  “Well, they want me.” She shook her hips and twirled her hair. “What can I say?”

  “You aren’t conceited at all,” I said sarcastically.

  She hit my shoulder playfully.

  “But, um, aren’t you forgetting something?”

  “What?” she asked.

  “Scarlet. Have you told her?”

  “Oh yeah,” she said quickly. “She’s cool with it.”

  “Oh. Then everything is settled.”

  She studied my face. “Why do I feel like you aren’t happy about this?”

  “No, I am,” I said immediately. “It’s just a lot to take in.”

  She believed me. “Okay.”

  “So, where is this publishing house?”

  “It’s only a few blocks away. Actually, it’s really close to the shop.”

  Well, that was good news. “Now I can fuck you on my lunch breaks.”

  She rolled her eyes. “So romantic…”

  “Who’s this friend of yours? Did you go to college with her?”

  “Yeah,” she said. “He and I had a few English classes together. We both wanted to be writers but we became editors instead.”

  He? “It’s a dude?”

  “Yeah…” She glared at me. “Why does that matter?”

  “So, I can’t hire girls but you’re going to run off and work with some guy that pulled a bunch of strings just to get you a job? That sounds hypocritical.”

  A fire rose in her eyes. “It’s not the same thing and you know it, Ryan Sisco.”

  “Don’t say my whole name like that. It’s king.”

  “No, it’s pig,” she snapped.

  “It just sounds weird to me,” I said. “Why is he so desperate for you to work with him?”

  “Because I’m qualified.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Because I’m good at what I do. Because I have fifty clients under my belt and countless novels with my name on them. That’s why.”

  “No…”

  Now she was getting pissed. “Get over yourself, Ryan.”

  “Are you working with this guy directly?”

  “No. I’m the boss of a department, and he’s my boss.”

  I was liking this less and less.

  “Why would this guy help you out? It doesn’t make sense to me.”

  “Because he’s my friend, you idiot.”

&nb
sp; I shook my head. “He wants to get laid.”

  “Or he’s a good guy,” she countered.

  I shook my head. “No such thing.”

  She rolled her eyes. “I already took the job so I don’t care.”

  “Does he know you have a man?”

  Janice was about to explode. “If you don’t trust me, why are we even together?”

  “I do trust you. I don’t trust men.”

  “I can take care of myself.” She wasn’t backing down.

  “My sister was harassed until she was almost raped. I’m innately distrustful of men with power.”

  “Well, if it ever came to that, I would just quit. Problem solved.”

  “Or you don’t have to work at all because I make plenty of money for both of us.”

  That just pissed her off even more. “Fuck you, Ryan.”

  “No, fuck you.”

  She stormed off. “I’m taking that job. I don’t give a shit what you think. You were supposed to be happy for me that I’m getting something I really want, but all you care about is how this affects you. You’re pathetic.”

  “I couldn’t hire the most qualified applicant because you didn’t want me working with a single female in the office. How fucking psycho is that?”

  “It’s not the same thing!” Her eyes were wide.

  “Just because I fucked inked girls before doesn’t mean I’ll cheat on you because they are impossibly irresistible. You’ve fucked just as many partners as I have. How do I know you aren’t going to hook up with him at work?”

  She slammed the door. “Go to hell!”

  “You’re such a hypocrite,” I screamed back.

  She opened the door again, flipped me the bird, and then slammed it again.

  I wanted to grab my keys and storm out, but I promised myself I wouldn’t do that. I was livid with Janice for her behavior but I couldn’t walk out on her. She hated being alone in the apartment at night, and if my sister’s relationship with Sean taught me anything, it was to not leave during a fight. Instead, I opened a beer and chugged it while I watched the Yankees game. Hopefully that would calm me down.

  Janice didn’t come out of the bedroom for hours. She knew I was still there because she would come out if she suspected I was leaving. It was past midnight and time for me to head to bed.