If Loving You Is Wrong Read online

  Roland rolled his eyes. “I’m never going to live that one down…”

  “Probably not,” my dad said.

  My mom shook her head slightly. “We all make mistakes as we age. But you better not repeat that one.”

  Roland shoved his pizza into his mouth and stayed quiet.

  “Have you seen Cayson much this weekend?” my mom asked.

  Just at night. “No. We’ve been busy with our families all day. But that’s fine. I see him every day at school.”

  “So, everything is great between you two?” my mom asked. “Because your father and I really love Cayson.”

  “Who doesn’t?” I blurted. “Yeah, we’re great.”

  “When Skye isn’t fucking it up left and right,” Roland said with a mouthful of food.

  I kicked him under the table.

  “Argh!” He kicked me back.

  “Fucking it up?” My dad raised an eyebrow while looking at me. “What’s that mean, Skye?”

  Great. My brother put me right on the spot. “We’ve had a few fights…nothing major.”

  “You almost dumped him,” Roland said.

  “Why don’t you shut up and mind your own business?” I kicked him as hard as I could under the table.

  “Bitch,” he mumbled.

  My dad’s hand snatched his throat from across the table quicker than I could see. He pulled Roland toward him and lowered his voice. “Never talk to your sister like that again.” He released him then leaned back.

  Roland would normally argue but this time he didn’t.

  Awkwardness set in at the table.

  My dad knew we teased each other often, but there were certain rules he had. We weren’t allowed to say anything unforgiveable or hateful to one another. Everything else was fair game.

  “Anyway…” My mom cleared her throat. “Skye, is that true? You almost dumped him?”

  When I looked at my dad, I felt my anger come out. “Cayson betrayed my trust and tattled on me to Dad about Zack. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself and handling my own problems. But Cayson seemed to disagree. I told him I couldn’t be with someone I didn’t trust implicitly. We quickly made up and moved on.”

  “Such a stupid thing to get upset about,” Roland mumbled. “He was just looking out for you.”

  My dad kept a stoic expression on his face. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. “He did the right thing coming to me. I wouldn’t want him to be with you if he made any other judgment call.”

  “You and everyone else I know,” I mumbled.

  “I made sure Zack will never bother you again,” my father said. “Now Cayson and I can both get some sleep at night.”

  “He was never a threat to me,” I snapped.

  “Cayson didn’t agree. And I’d take Cayson’s opinion over yours any day.” His eyes narrowed while he stared me down.

  When it came to this topic, my dad was aggressive and mean. He always pinned me down and wouldn’t let me get the upper hand. Just like me, he was stubborn and argumentative. He would never let me win, no matter what, and he would put his foot down over and over. He had the patience of a sloth and the adrenaline of a coyote.

  “Than your own daughter’s?” I snapped.

  “I admire your independence and intelligence. I really do.” My dad’s voice was calm the entire time. We were in a crowded room full of people so he acted normal, like we were discussing the lotto numbers that were announced the evening before. But his eyes gave his rage away. “I would never want you to be any different. Just like your mother, you’re strong and understand your self-worth. But you’re blind to your own safety and foolishly think you’re invincible. You have no idea what this guy is thinking, and as strong as you might think you are, he’s twice your size and could take you down with one throw of a fist.

  “You know why I’m such a successful businessman?” He asked it like a question but I knew it was rhetorical. “How I grew a large company into an international empire? It’s because I’m proactive, not reactive. I don’t take chances when it comes to stuff like this. I’m always on the offense, not the defense. If this guy isn’t leaving you alone and he held down Trinity—a fucking red flag—then I don’t want him anywhere near you. Being angry with Cayson is immature and petty. You’re lucky he loves you as much as he does to put up with your naivety. Not all men are like me, your uncles, your cousins, and Cayson. There are men who will rip you apart the first chance they get. It’s a lesson I thought you already learned.”

  I looked away and stared at the fire in the stone hearth. My dad always got under my skin when he made speeches like this. He never got emotional, but he did get angry. He somehow reduced me to a shadow, stripping my confidence and my strength. He did it every time, leaving me defenseless and raw.

  “Don’t be so hard on her,” my mother whispered.

  “Baby, stay out of this.” His voice was full of threat.

  My mother backed off.

  I left the table and abandoned my food then stormed outside. I didn’t want to look at my father or my family. I wanted to hide my face. Moisture bubbled under my eyes and they burned as they touched my cheek. I finally made it outside and stood away from the windows, getting some privacy.

  I hated crying. It was weak and pathetic. I quickly wiped the tears away, refusing to be anything but strong. Sometimes I felt like I was screaming as loud as I could but no one was listening. I was lucky I had a father who cared so much about me, but for once, I wanted him to trust me enough to take care of myself. He treated Roland that way. Why should I be treated differently?

  The door opened again and I felt someone come near me. Judging by the cologne in the air, I knew it was my father.

  I turned my back to him, not letting him see the redness around my eyes. I should have held my tongue and not gone head-to-head with him in the middle of a crowded room. It wasn’t smart to corner him when we were on a family trip. Perhaps I was stupid after all.

  My father stood behind me but didn’t touch me. “Skye, I’m sorry I upset you.”

  “You didn’t.” I said it with a strong voice, hiding my vulnerability. “I just needed to get away from you.”

  “Then why are you crying?”

  How did he know that? I decided not to answer.

  He came closer to me then rested his hand on my shoulder. “Skye, I love you so much. Please know that everything I say comes from a good place.”

  “I know…”

  He sighed then dropped his hand. “Pumpkin, look at me.”

  Since he already knew I was upset, I turned around and faced him head on.

  He stared at the redness around my eyes. He took a deep breath, the self-loathing coming into his features. “I’m sorry I made you cry. Please tell me what you’re thinking.”

  “I’m just sick of you babying me, Dad. I can take care of myself but how will I prove that if you won’t let me?”

  “I know you can take care of yourself. I’ve always known that.”

  “It doesn’t seem like it.”

  “You know what our problem is—both of us?”

  I crossed my arms over my chest and listened.

  “I’m too overprotective—I admit it. But you’re too proud.”

  “Proud?”

  “You will never ask for help even if you’re drowning. That’s the reason why I’m like this. You’re so determined to do everything on your own that I fear you won’t reach out to me or anyone else for that matter when you need to. And that scares the life out of me, Skye.”

  I processed his words then looked at the ground.

  “Correct me if I’m wrong.”

  I knew he wasn’t.

  “Does that explain my behavior a little better?”

  I nodded.

  “Do you honestly see Zack as nonthreatening? Be honest, Skye.”

  He did threaten to hurt Cayson but I thought he was just being an ass. And he did hold down Trinity. And he did spend six months lying to me just to b
e with me. He was controlling when we were together, trying to get me to follow his rules. Perhaps he had psychopath written all over him. Maybe I was wrong about the whole thing. “No…”

  My dad didn’t gloat. There was no victory in his eyes. “Then I’m really glad Cayson came to me. But Skye, it should have been you.”

  “I know… I just…you’ve babied me my whole life and—”

  “You’re my one and only daughter. I can’t begin to explain how much I love you. I understand you’re going to get hurt. That’s how life is. As much as it pains me, I accept that truth. But when it comes to stuff like this, serious stuff, I have to intervene.”

  “I know, Dad.”

  “I promise I’ll be better from now on. If you ask me to back off and leave you alone, I promise I will. But I want a promise in return.”

  “What promise?” I asked.

  “That you will come to me when you need help. You will not be proud and try to figure it out while you’re drowning. You will not try to prove anything to me. Skye, you’ve already proven how amazing and self-sufficient you are. I don’t need anything else.”

  I nodded.

  “Can I have that promise? I know you’ll mean it if you give it to me.”

  “I promise.”

  He breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”

  “I’m sorry, Dad…about everything.”

  “I’m sorry too, Pumpkin.” He came to me then held me close. “But I’m glad this happened. I feel like we’ve really covered new ground here. I feel a lot more comfortable knowing you’ll make the right decisions even if I’m not around.”

  “And I’m glad you know I can take care of myself.”

  “You’re just like your mother.” He cupped the back of my head with his hand and held me close. “In every good way possible.”

  “That’s a big compliment.”

  “It was meant as one.”

  He pulled away then stepped back. “Are you ready to head back inside?”

  “Yeah. I want to finish the rest of my food.”

  He laughed. “That’s my girl.”

  ***

  Cayson and I sat in front of the fire with cups of cocoa.

  “How was your day?” he asked.

  “It was okay. My dad and I got into a fight.”

  “It seems like that’s all you ever do,” he teased.

  “Well, we are a lot alike.”

  He smirked. “And I know how you are…”

  “We talked about the whole Zack thing.”

  “I’m sure that went well,” he said sarcastically.

  “He made a lot of good points…but I think we’re better off because of it. He made me realize how proud I am.”

  “Wow…you finally admit it.”

  I gave him a hard look.

  “Sorry,” he said quickly.

  “And he admitted he’s too overprotective. We agreed to work on our shortcomings.”

  He nodded. “A compromise…I like it.”

  I sipped my hot cocoa then tried to get a few marshmallows into my mouth. The fire burned in front of us and snow fell outside. Everyone had gone to bed already. It was just he and I.

  “No sex tonight,” he said quietly. “It’s a miracle we haven’t gotten caught.”

  “It’s our last night and it’s so romantic. Let’s just do it.”

  “No. I feel like I’m going to have a heart attack every time your father looks at me.”

  “He’s not a mind reader,” I snapped.

  “He could be. Maybe he developed some technology that allows him to do that.”

  “My dad is smart…but not that smart.”

  “I’d rather not risk it.”

  “I’ll sneak into your room anyway. And when I start doing stuff you like, you won’t be able to get rid of me.”

  He glared at me. “You’re such an evil enchantress.”

  I smirked. “I know.”

  We heard footsteps from the stairs and were joined by Theo and Thomas.

  “Hey.” Theo had a leftover slice of cold pizza in his hand.

  “Hey,” I said. “How was your day on the slopes?”

  “I got sunburned,” Theo said. “Can you believe it?”

  “I told you to put on sunblock, man.” Thomas sat on the couch then sunk into it.

  “Well, I never listen to you for a reason,” Theo said.

  Then Silke joined us. “Why is everyone awake?”

  “We’re plotting to kill you,” Theo said without looking at her.

  “That’s so ironic because I was planning to do the same to you.” She held a pint of ice cream and started to eat directly out of it.

  “So much for a romantic evening by the fire,” Cayson said sarcastically.

  “Go upstairs and screw like snow bunnies,” Theo said. “What’s more romantic than that?”

  I gave Cayson a flirtatious look. “I couldn’t agree more.”

  He ignored my comment and stared at the fire.

  Slade came downstairs with Trinity. “It’s a full house tonight.”

  “Why are you two together?” I asked.

  “We aren’t.” Slade took eight steps away from Trinity. “It was just a coincidence.”

  “An unfortunate one.” Trinity looked through the fridge until she found a leftover sandwich. Slade dug out his own then joined us in the living room.

  “Why are we all huddled here?” Slade asked.

  I shrugged. “Cayson and I wanted some alone time…but we clearly aren’t going to get it.”

  “Like fucking in the middle of the night isn’t alone time,” Slade snapped.

  I glared at him. “So much for keeping quiet about it.”

  “Hey, I didn’t tell any of the old people,” he argued. “They are the only ones that count. None of us give a shit.”

  Roland and Conrad came down the stairs next.

  “You guys are talking so loud that I can’t sleep.” Roland plopped down on the armchair by the fire and started to rock it back and forth.

  Conrad took a seat on one of the couches. “I’m so glad we’re going home tomorrow.”

  “Why?” Trinity asked.

  “I’m sick of seeing Mom and Dad,” Conrad said. “Dad keeps talking about the company and what I need to be prepared for. And then Mom keeps bugging me about settling down with a nice girl who will give her grandkids. I’m only twenty-one. Give me a break…”

  “I don’t want to go home,” I said. “I like seeing my parents.”

  “Me too,” Cayson added.

  “You guys are the worst suck ups ever,” Silke said.

  “I’m not sucking up,” I said. “I really do like my parents.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”

  “I want to order a beer and wings,” Slade said. “And watch a game. All they have is cable here.”

  “It’s nice to take a break from the rest of the world,” I said.

  “God, you’re annoying,” Slade said.

  Trinity ate her sandwich. “I’m horrible at skiing so I’m not too upset to leave the resort. But I will miss my parents.”

  “Another suck up,” Silke said.

  We fell into comfortable silence by the fireplace. Cayson held me close to him and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. My hot cocoa was abandoned for his warmth. Theo fell asleep and started to snore. Silke pulled out her phone and was typing away. Roland started to snore when he dozed off. It was late so we should have gone to bed but nobody moved. Just being together was comfortable enough. We were together constantly, but there was a reason for that. We were family, allowed to be ourselves in front of one another and still be loved. It was something I took for granted once in a while. But when we took trips like this, knowing exactly where we belonged, I cherished it. A lot of people hardly had any family in the world. But I had a huge one. And even though they teased me relentlessly and often told me to shut up, I knew they loved me.

  And they always would.

  You Are All I’l
l Ever Need

  Book Three Of The Forever and Ever Series

  AVAILABLE DECEMBER 22TH

  Dear Reader,

  Thank you for reading All I Want Is You. I hope you enjoyed reading Skye and Cayson’s story as much as I enjoyed writing it. If you could leave a short review on Amazon.com, iTunes, or BarnesandNoble.com, it would help me so much! Those reviews are the best kind of support you can give an author. Thank you!

  Wishing you love,

  E. L. Todd

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