You Are All I'll Ever Need Read online

  I moved the glass to my forehead so I could feel the coldness. “She said she’s on her brother’s side and I’m blowing everything out of proportion.” I looked to him for validation.

  “You are, man. I hate to break it to you. When you were mad at him in the beginning it was fine. It just happened and you were still upset. But it’s been weeks and now you’re starting to ruin relationships with people that had nothing to do with it. So yes, you’re blowing everything way out of proportion.”

  When Slade is right, you know you’ve fallen hard.

  “I know how much you love Skye. She’s the one person you can’t afford to lose. So don’t let her get away.”

  “I thought you didn’t even like her?” I finished the brandy and left it on the table. “She’s annoying and talks too much?”

  “She is annoying. But I love her. And my feelings for her are irrelevant. I know how much she means to you. I was by your side all those years you wanted her and couldn’t have her. Now she’s on the other side of the room but you’re letting dead air keep you apart. Come on, man. Don’t push her so hard that she won’t come back.”

  I knew he was right.

  Slade turned and looked toward the rear of the ballroom. Uncle Sean and Aunt Scarlet were waving goodbye as they headed for their honeymoon suite. I spotted Skye hugging her parents. She had a smile on her face but it was forced. Roland was beside her, patting his father on the shoulder. Then they moved through the doors and disappeared.

  Slade turned back to me. “Go fix it, man.”

  I sighed then ran my fingers through my hair. “Why did I get so mad about this?”

  Slade shrugged. “You’re a loyal guy. You’ve done everything perfectly since the day you were born. You expect other people to be as good as you are. Since you would never even consider doing what Roland did, it hurts more when someone does it to you.”

  I looked at Slade, realizing that he was hardly ever serious like this. “This is a side to you I’m not used to.”

  “When someone I care about is in pain, I’m in pain.” He shrugged slightly. “I want you to be happy, man. And I know Skye is the key to that. Even if you don’t want to hear it, I’m going to tell you when you’re wrong so you don’t make a mistake you can’t take back.”

  I nodded. “Thanks, man.”

  “No problem. So…?”

  “So what?”

  “Why are you still sitting here talking to me?”

  I smirked then looked back to the entrance. A crowd was still there but Skye couldn’t be seen. I left Slade without saying goodbye then headed to the last place I saw her. Uncle Sean and Aunt Scarlet were done, and Skye and her brother were nowhere around. I tried to call her but her phone was off.

  She was gone.

  ***

  After the party finally ended and everyone went home, I took my dad’s car and drove to Skye’s house. The lights were on and I saw shadows move through the windows. Uncle Sean and Aunt Scarlet were staying at The Plaza so I knew Roland and Skye were home alone. I killed the engine then walked to the front door.

  Roland answered it then blocked the entrance. “Skye’s in bed.”

  I knew she wasn’t asleep. “Can I come in?”

  He clenched his jaw. “Look, I know you have beef with me and I get that. But don’t drag my sister down with us. Keep this between you and me. Making her cry and flee my parents’ anniversary party is not okay. I should beat the shit out of you right now.”

  He had a point. “I came to apologize to her.”

  “Maybe she doesn’t want to hear it,” he challenged.

  “She does.” I knew Skye would forgive me because she loved me. I said a lot of mean things I wish I could take back, but our love was stronger than anything on this planet.

  “I’m not letting you inside.” He stared me down, the anger brewing deep within his eyes. “Until you and I settle our differences.” He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the doorframe.

  I knew this had to be addressed anyway. “I guess…”

  “Cayson, I’m sorry. I can keep apologizing but it’s not going to change anything. I regret what I did and I wish I could take it back. Honestly, I didn’t think you would care. And no disrespect to Jasmine, but she was going to have me one way or another. Before it happened, we had a good time at the bar. She’s a really cool person and she’s down-to-earth. I like her. I prefer to think of that night as two friends getting together rather than me using her. We were both in a dark place.”

  “Dark place?” I asked.

  “Yeah.”

  “And why were you in a dark place?”

  He stared passed my shoulders for a second before he looked back at me. “I just was.”

  “And why was she in a dark place?”

  “Cayson, we both know the answer to that.”

  I sighed then ran my fingers through my hair. “I guess I just want her to find Mr. Right. If she did, I wouldn’t have to feel guilty anymore. Knowing she’s still suffering over me pains me every single day. And I guess knowing you fueled that set me off even more.”

  He nodded. “I can understand that. But honestly, I don’t think she’s looking for Mr. Right at this moment in time. I think she’s just trying to move on by herself.”

  “Yeah…”

  “I’ll do whatever it takes to make this better, Cayson. Just tell me what you want. I’m not working my ass off for your forgiveness for my sister’s sake or because we’re in the same circle. I’m doing it because you’re one of my closest friends and I...don’t want to lose you. You mean a lot to me, man.”

  All this emotion was making me feel awkward. I crossed my arms over my chest and looked at the ground. “You mean a lot to me too…”

  “So, can we just…let it go?”

  I nodded. “Yeah, it’s in the past.”

  Roland breathed a sigh of relief then extended his hand to shake mine. “Friends?”

  I shook it. “Friends.”

  He smiled. “And now I’ll never tap one of your ex’s again, unless she’s really hot.”

  I rolled my eyes.

  “Or if she likes anal.”

  “You’re lucky I know you’re joking.”

  “Or am I?” He wiggled his eyebrows then let me come inside. “Skye’s in her room. Good luck.” He headed to the living room then sat down in front of the TV.

  I headed up the stairs and followed the hallway until I found her bedroom in the corner. After I took a deep breath, I knocked.

  “Go away.” That was all she said.

  I opened the door and peeked inside. Her childhood bed was the same as I remembered. It was pink with purple pillows. Her old teddy bear was tucked in her arms. She was on her side facing her floor-to-ceiling windows, which were tinted impenetrable black. I crept into the room and shut the door.

  “Roland, leave me alone.” Her voice was hollow and defeated.

  I sat at the edge of her bed. “It’s me.”

  Her head immediately turned to me. For a moment, joy came into her eyes. But then it disappeared, replaced by a guarded expression. She pulled the blankets closer to her chest.

  “Skye, I’m sorry—for everything.”

  She sat up then leaned against her headboard. Her eyes were puffy and swollen. She didn’t look at me, her gaze directed to the yard outside her window.

  “I hardly ever get mad but when I do…I lose myself. I take back everything I said.”

  “Really?” she whispered.

  “You were right. I was being an asshole.”

  She hugged the teddy bear close to her and remained quiet. It didn’t seem like she had any more to say. “I’m sorry too.”

  “Really? Even after the way I behaved?”

  “It’s water under the bridge, Cayson.”

  Her choice of words was not lost on me. “I never want to be without you. I hope you know that.”

  “I do…”

  “Would it be too much to ask for another chance?”<
br />
  “You can have as many chances as you want.” A slight smile stretched her lips. Her eyes brightened a little.

  “I’m lucky. I know Zack wouldn’t have gotten off that easily.”

  “You are different than every other guy I’ve dated. You know that, Cayson.”

  “Yeah, I do.”

  Her gaze bore into me for a long time. “Can I ask you something?”

  “You know you can.”

  “Did you love her? Honestly?” Her eyes were guarded, not giving anything away. “Because you act like she meant a lot more to you than you claim.”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. But I don’t think so.”

  “It’s okay if you did. I’m just curious.”

  “Well, most of the time when I was with her, I was thinking about you. I know I really cared about her. She was definitely someone I could fall for if my heart wasn’t beating for someone else. The only thing keeping me from her was you…so…if I did love her…then how do I feel for you? What’s stronger than love?”

  Her eyes softened and the fondness that was always clear on her face came through. It was the way she looked at me before she told me she loved me, before she kissed me. “We’re soul mates.”

  While that was a romantic thought, I didn’t agree. “I don’t believe in destiny or the fact there’s one perfect person for everybody.”

  “Neither do I.”

  My eyes narrowed in confusion.

  “But I believe in us.”

  Now it was my turn for my eyes to soften.

  “We aren’t like everyone else, Cayson. You know that and so do I.”

  I couldn’t agree more. “Is that why we’re okay? Is that why we can come back from this like we weren’t vicious to each other?”

  “What’s the strongest emotion in the world? The most powerful to make people do ridiculous and crazy things? What’s the entity in the blood of our veins? What keeps people going even if there is no reason to? Love. And we have more of it than anyone else, including my parents.”

  I held her gaze. “You really believe that?”

  “No. I know it.”

  Silence passed and my heartbeat thudded in my ears. I stared at her, the girl I dreamt of since I could remember. I always imagined a perfect wife. As I aged, I realized how unlikely it was I’d settle down with a woman that had everything I wanted. But Skye was it. There was no one else in the world I wanted more or would ever want more.

  I moved closer to her then grabbed her hand. Then I brought it to my lips and kissed it. “We’re going to have a happy life together.”

  Affection shined in her eyes. “And when we do fight, we’ll have awesome make up sex. So that’s something to look forward to.” She gave me a playful look then kissed my knuckles.

  I chuckled. “Well, the sex is already good. Can it get any better?”

  She shrugged. “You want to find out?”

  “With your brother downstairs? Not really.”

  “Come on. He’s snuck girls into his room before. And I can’t count the number of times I—”

  I gave her an angry look.

  “—Did none of those things.” She smirked and tried not to laugh.

  I gave her a kiss on the cheek. “We have to be quiet.”

  “Good luck with that.”

  I guided her to her back then moved over her. “You’re a vixen, you know that?”

  “I know,” she said with a giggle. “But before this goes further, I need to know something.”

  “What, baby?” I pulled her bottoms off.

  “That you’ll make up with my brother.” She gave me a hard stare.

  “I already did.”

  The anxiety disappeared from her face. “Then let’s get it on.”

  I laughed even though I tried not to. When I stared at her, I saw the glow of her face. Her smile was infectious, and I was astounded by her beauty. It was a moment I’d treasure forever, hoard to the end of my days. I found the one person who touched my soul in a way no else ever had. How many people could say that? I was lucky, luckier than most.

  “What is it?” she whispered.

  I couldn’t put the moment into words. “Nothing.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Slade

  The only time I saw Trinity was from across a room. We didn’t speak for the rest of the night, and we didn’t get close to each other. The one time I tried, she took off in the opposite direction. It seemed like she was trying to run from me. Since I couldn’t question her, I just let her be.

  At the end of the night, she went home with her family. I didn’t get a chance to say good night. Not sleeping with her was throwing my body out of whack. Now when I lay in bed, I had to hug a pillow and trick my mind into thinking she was there. Somehow, I became dependent on her…even attached.

  How did I get here?

  I went home with my family when everyone else left. Uncle Sean and Aunt Scarlet were enjoying their second honeymoon so there was no point in staying. Since we lived a few blocks from the hotel, we walked.

  My dad held my mom’s hand the entire time. He would walk close to her and say something only she could hear. Then she would bust up laughing, sharing a secret only they would know.

  When we got home, my parents immediately went to bed. Silke didn’t even say goodnight as she headed to her bedroom and shut the door. I wasn’t tired but I wasn’t in the mood to watch TV or play a video game. I went into my room, knowing only silence and shadows welcomed me.

  As soon as I lay in bed, my phone vibrated.

  I need to talk to you. It was Trinity.

  I’m here.

  Can I call?

  Of course you can call me. Did she even need to ask?

  No one can overhear you?

  I suddenly heard a loud thump down the hall. My parents were getting it on. Typical. Yes. Now call me.

  My phone rang and I answered it immediately. “Hey, you miss me?” I put one hand behind my head and made a cocky face even though she couldn’t see me.

  “Slade...I had the worst night.” Her voice was high-pitched. She was on the verge of tears.

  “Baby, what’s wrong?” I immediately sat up in flight or fight mode.

  “My dad talked to Reid.”

  “What?” I blurted. “Why?”

  “I guess he wanted to see if he could get us together…I’m not sure. But apparently Reid said I was seeing you instead.”

  My heart dropped into my stomach like the nuclear bomb on Hiroshima. “What?”

  “We got into a huge fight and I stormed out. But he asked me again and I…I lied. I lied to his face…” The tears came.

  “Trinity, did he believe you?”

  “Yes.” She sniffed. “God, I feel like a horrible person.”

  I knew how close she was with her dad. “Baby, it’s okay. You weren’t ready to tell him. What else would you have done?”

  “I just…don’t like treating him like that. He’s always been honest with me.”

  “But what other choice did you have?”

  She sighed. “I know…”

  “I’m coming to get you, okay?” I stood up and got dressed.

  “Coming to get me? Are you out of your mind?”

  “Well, you’re crying your eyes out and I don’t want you to be alone.”

  “I think seeing your car in the driveway would be a dead giveaway to my dad.”

  Shit, she was right. “Then come to me.”

  “And what excuse would I give him?”

  “You aren’t a child, Trinity. You don’t have to explain where you’re going.”

  “At two in the morning I do.”

  “Just tell him you’re having a sleepover with Skye. Then leave your car there and I’ll pick you up.”

  “And what will I do when he asks Uncle Sean if I was there?”

  “Uncle Sean isn’t home. He’s having a second honeymoon with your aunt, remember?”

  “Oh yeah…”

  “Now come on.
Let’s do this.”

  “Slade, I’ll be fine.”

  “No, I want to see you.” I wasn’t going to let this go.

  “Okay. Fine. I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

  “I’ll meet you there.” I hung up then grabbed my dad’s keys to his truck. Then I took off to Connecticut. I didn’t listen to the radio because it felt wrong to. The silence didn’t comfort me but it didn’t make me feel worse either. When I approached the Preston Manor, I turned off my lights so Roland and Skye wouldn’t notice me.

  Trinity got out of her car when she saw me. She was wrapped in a hoodie. She got into the passenger seat as soon as I stopped. Then I took off, heading back down the road.

  “Where are we going?” she asked.

  “My place.”

  “But what about your parents?” she demanded.

  “They’re in bed and they both have to work tomorrow. Silke will be with her friends all day. So we can sleep in then I’ll take you back to Skye’s.”

  “Won’t Skye wonder why my car is there?”

  “Tell her you hooked up with some guy in the city.”

  She seemed to accept the plan. “Okay.”

  When we got to the apartment, I went inside first and made sure everyone was in their bedrooms. Then I retrieved Trinity and pulled her with me. She crept like she was walking on eggshells. Her eyes were wide with fright and I could feel her frantic pulse under my fingertips.

  Once we were in my room, she released the air from her lungs. “Is your door locked?”

  “You think I ever leave it unlocked?” I took off my clothes then watched her remove hers. Once she was in her underwear, I snuggled with her under the covers. She faced me, her eyes dark and her lips lifeless.

  I ran my hand up and down her ribs. “It’s okay. I know it’s hard right now but it’ll pass. It always does.”