The Man I Thought I Trusted Read online

  “Well, that worked out in my favor.” He gave a slight smile. “I’m man enough for you, and I know most men are boys, so that’s not surprising.” He grabbed his plate and carried it to the sink so he could rinse it off and leave it for his housekeeper.

  It was nice to be in a relationship with someone who admired me so openly, who was excited for my accomplishments, who could handle my fire with his own inferno. I suddenly felt a jolt of fear, because I realized I had something really amazing…and I wouldn’t know what to do if I ever lost it.

  When I walked in the door to my apartment on Monday morning, Charlie was sitting at the dining table with a cup of coffee next to his laptop. After he sipped his coffee, he raised his eyes and looked at me for a few seconds. “Wow, you look totally different.”

  I hadn’t worn makeup in several days because I didn’t bring any in my overnight bag, and I was wearing the exact outfit I’d been wearing on Friday night. It was the ultimate walk of shame. I threw my purse on the table and kicked off my heels. “That’s what a fuck-a-thon does to you.”

  He chuckled. “Way to rub it in, man.”

  I made myself a cup of coffee and sat across from him. “It’ll happen for you, Charlie.”

  He didn’t look at his computer. Instead, he just stared at me. “It’s nice to see you happy.” The statement came out of nowhere, containing a noticeable level of affection that showed his sincerity.

  I gave a smile. “Thanks…”

  “Now I need you to move in with him or marry him so you’ll get out of my hair.” He turned back to his work and looked at his computer.

  “Like you could afford this place without me.”

  His eyes were back on me instantly. “I probably could if you didn’t eat half my lunch every day. That shit adds up.”

  I rolled my eyes and took a drink from my mug. “I pay for all the groceries, alright? And I throw in free condoms too. You basically got your own Instacart worker over here.” I snapped my fingers and pointed at myself.

  He chuckled. “Fuck, I hate condoms. I want to be in a real relationship again so I don’t have to wear them anymore…” He gave me a serious look, like he expected me to do something about that.

  It was too early in the morning to talk about Kat. “Yeah, it is pretty great.” It was so sexy not to be separated by latex, to feel each other so intimately, to feel his seed every time he gave it to me.

  He gave an irritated sigh. “Jealous.”

  I smiled and brought my mug to my lips. “You should be.”

  2

  Carson

  “So, you’ve been doing the nasty-nasty, then?” Matt asked from across the booth in the bar, his beer sitting in front of him.

  “Might be…” I gave a shrug before I took a sip of my wine.

  Charlie drank from his glass and scanned the bar as if he expected Denise to appear out of nowhere.

  “Come on,” Matt said. “You tell us more details than we want to know about everything, and now all of a sudden, you’re closed like a clam?”

  “Why do you want to know?” I countered.

  “Because he’s hot.” Matt raised his arms like he couldn’t believe I didn’t understand his interest. “I want the 4-1-1. So, size, skill level, all that good stuff.” He snapped his fingers a couple times. “Chop-chop.”

  I tried to suppress a grin because I couldn’t believe I was the only one who got to know those details. Women had come before me, but I suspected it wasn’t as good for them as it was for me. I knew how Dax felt about me, so when we were together, it was special. “What about Jeremy?”

  “Yeah,” Charlie said. “Do you think he’d appreciate you wanting the details of some other hot guy?”

  “Are you kidding me?” Matt said. “He thinks Dax’s hot too. He’s always thought he was hot. He’s gotten to see him in the locker room a few times, but I haven’t had the pleasure.”

  I swirled my glass of wine before I set it down. “He’s very good in bed. I’ll tell you that much.” I gave a thumbs-up.

  “Obviously,” Matt said, rolling his eyes. “I already knew that.”

  Charlie glanced at the entryway before he nudged Matt in the side. “Look, your boyfriend’s here.”

  “No.” I pointed my index finger at my chest. “My boyfriend is here. Your boyfriend is at work or the gym or something.” I turned to Dax and raised my hand in the air so he could easily find us.

  Affection entered his gaze when he spotted me, and he walked over in jeans and a shirt, looking sexy with those broad shoulders and that chiseled waist and narrow hips.

  He slid into the booth beside me, his arm wrapping around my shoulders as he leaned in and kissed me. “Hey, sweetheart.”

  I grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him in deeper, giving him a hard kiss like I hadn’t seen him in months. I didn’t care about the guys sitting across from us, and I kissed him longer than I should for being in a public place.

  Did I give a damn? Nope.

  But he was totally into it, smiling as he kissed me, like he loved all the attention.

  When I pulled away, I looked back at the guys. Matt stared with wide eyes like he enjoyed the front-row show.

  Charlie kept drinking his beer and looking across the bar as if he hadn’t noticed anything.

  “What were you guys talking about?” Dax pulled his arm from my shoulders and rested his hand on my thigh. His long fingers gave my leg a possessive and masculine squeeze, making me feel like I was still all his even when the kissing stopped.

  I gave a blunt answer. “Our bomb-as-fuck sex.”

  A slight smile moved onto his lips, like he was a little embarrassed but also flattered that I was praising him to my friends. “I hope I came off well.”

  “Definitely,” Matt blurted.

  “It certainly made Charlie jealous.” I looked at my best friend, who was still staring across the bar.

  He let out a deep sigh before he drank from his beer. “Hopefully, I won’t have to be jealous much longer…”

  “What’s going to happen with that?” Matt had stopped obsessing over Dax and his excellent bedroom skills and shifted to a different subject, one I’d rather avoid. “So, she’s even seen their mutual attraction with her own eyes. Does that mean she accepts it?”

  Charlie finally turned his gaze back to us, participating in the conversation once again.

  Dax waved down the waitress and ordered himself a scotch, his hand on my thigh the entire time, making it clear to anyone who watched that he was off the market for good.

  I gave an exaggerated shrug. “Dude, I don’t know…” This drama had nothing to do with me, but somehow, I was in the center of it. It was exhausting, borderline childish, because I felt like I was in high school again. “Bottom line, this is always going to be hard for her, and I don’t know what to do about it. There’s no clear answer, you know?”

  Charlie didn’t have much of a reaction, but he released a long and quiet sigh, his eyes dropping with his mood. “I don’t mean to sound like an ass, but she needs to get over it.”

  I took a drink of my wine before I looked at him. “I agree, but that was an asshole way of putting it.”

  “Don’t you think she should know the truth?” Matt turned to look at Charlie. “Remember the first time you told me how you felt about Denise? You said you felt like shit, but there was nothing you could do to stop it. It was mushy-mushy bullshit, and that’s saying something coming from a gay man.”

  Charlie gave me a hard look.

  Matt turned back to me. “Maybe we should just tell her. She would understand the significance of the situation and know this is really important to Charlie. And if she ever loved him, she would want him to be happy.”

  I knew it was more complicated than that because her heart was on the line. “How would you feel if the person you were in love with left you because they found love with somebody else? That was the mysterious reason your relationship ended? Yes, I think it would be exactly what she
needs to hear to move on, but think of the cost. Think of the way it will make her feel. It’s…cruel.”

  Dax started to rub my thigh through my jeans, silently comforting me because he knew this was hard to endure. I didn’t want my best friend to be crushed, and I didn’t want my other best friend to be miserable.

  Matt gave a shrug. “I guess I’m biased because Charlie is my best friend and I want him to have whatever he wants. I care about Kat too, obviously, but…I don’t know.” He rubbed the back of his neck, his mood turning sour like Charlie’s.

  Charlie rested his hand on top of his glass and looked down at the golden liquid inside. “I did everything I could to protect her from getting hurt, kept as much integrity as I could through the process because I did love her, and a part of me always will, but I can’t make any more sacrifices for my happiness. I waited long enough to pursue what I really want. I can’t put any more time on hold for somebody else. Maybe that makes me sound like a jerk, but I don’t care anymore.”

  I was literally in the middle of this whole ordeal, the nucleus that pulled everything close together. I could just step aside and let Charlie figure it out, but I suspected it would break hearts on the way. I wanted my hands to remain clean, but not if it caused more pain.

  He spoke again. “How would you feel if this were you and Dax? That the only man you really want is off-limits because Kat used to date him?”

  If I couldn’t have Dax, it would be unbearable. Now that I’d allowed myself to really feel again, I’d realized how deeply I’d fallen for him.

  Charlie stared at me, silently telling me exactly what he wanted me to do.

  I dropped my gaze down to my glass and stared at the red wine that warmed my stomach as I sipped it. “Fine…”

  Dax turned to me, slightly confused by my statement.

  Charlie angled his body away. “Thank you.”

  “What just happened?” Dax asked, his eyes moving back and forth between Charlie and me.

  Matt answered. “They just did one of the weird telepathic things they do.” He pointed at his eyes then pointed between us. “You know, talking without actually talking.”

  Charlie directed his gaze to Dax. “She’s going to tell Kat the truth.”

  I released a quiet sigh. “And I’m not looking forward to it at all.”

  We watched the game in the living room, enjoying slices of pizza and beer.

  Dax had already become one of the guys, fitting into our group so perfectly, even if we weren’t seeing each other.

  “You can’t be serious.” Dax sat forward with his arms on his knees, looking at Charlie in the armchair. “He’s not the best quarterback in football history. A couple Super Bowl rings don’t mean a whole lot in the grand scheme of things.”

  Charlie fired back. “But there’re a lot of teams that have never won a Super Bowl ring, and that means a lot.” He pointed at Dax with the neck of his bottle before he turned back to the television.

  Jeremy and Matt sat together on the other couch, cuddled close as they drank their beers and relaxed.

  Dax shook his head. “I don’t agree. I think there’re a lot of other quarterbacks who have more talent.”

  “The guy is pushing forty,” Charlie countered. “Most guys retire in their early thirties, if not before.”

  Dax continued to disagree. “Not quarterbacks. I still think the guy’s overrated.” He turned back to the game and watched the TV.

  I sat beside him, and with my hand across his thigh, I gave him a gentle squeeze that told him I didn’t care to listen to him argue about football with my best friend.

  That immediately got his attention.

  He turned back to me, showing a special look in his eyes that he only gave to me, like I was the morning light at dawn. “I’m not paying enough attention to you, am I?”

  I shook my head and squeezed him a little tighter as my fingers glided closer to his crotch.

  His eyes darkened before he leaned in and kissed me, a slow and seductive kiss like nobody was there to witness it. When he pulled away, he rubbed his nose against mine. “Is that better?”

  I nodded. “A bit.”

  There was a knock on the door before it opened. Denise stepped inside, wearing black leggings with high brown boots and a loose white sweater.

  Charlie was about to take a drink of his beer, but he stilled just so he could stare at her. He looked like he wanted to shove his fist into his mouth—and bite down hard just to control himself.

  It was impossible that she wasn’t aware of Charlie’s obsession, but she continued to act like she had no idea. “Hey, guys. Any pizza left?”

  Charlie seemed too spellbound by her appearance to say anything, so I did the talking. “Just a few slices. Beers in the fridge.”

  She walked to the fridge and opened it.

  Charlie turned around completely in his chair so he could stare at her, doing a full 180.

  I snapped my fingers at his face and mouthed, “Dude, get it together.”

  He mouthed back, “Oh, you’re one to talk.”

  I continued the exchange in silence. “Oh, shut up.”

  He flipped me the bird.

  Dax’s gaze shifted back and forth between us like he had no idea what we were saying.

  Denise came into the living room with her open beer in hand. “Where should I sit? I’ve got a couple on each couch.”

  “Don’t sit there.” Charlie pointed at the couch where Dax and I sat. “Not unless you want a live sex show.”

  I rolled my eyes. “What an exaggeration…”

  She turned to Matt and Jeremy next. “What about them?”

  “Not much better,” Matt said. “You’re probably better off sitting in that armchair together.”

  I knew exactly what he was doing.

  Denise turned to him. “Do you mind?”

  Does he mind? Ha.

  Like a deer in the headlights, Charlie just stared at her as if he couldn’t believe what she’d just asked. He gathered his bearings and shifted his body to the side. “Not at all.”

  She took the seat beside him, part of her body slightly on top of his, and she drank her beer as she looked at the TV.

  Charlie pressed his body against the other side of the armchair as much as possible, like he was doing everything he could to not touch her—even though all he wanted to do was touch her.

  Matt looked at Charlie and gave an exaggerated wink.

  That made me flip Matt the bird.

  Denise drank her beer then turned to ask Charlie a question about the game. “I don’t follow sports. What’s going on here?”

  Charlie answered her question, and the longer they talked together, the more he let down his guard. He stopped trying to stay away from her and let their two bodies naturally press together.

  Dax wrapped his arm around my shoulders and turned his intention on me. He ignored the game as if he no longer cared about it the way he had just a few minutes ago. “Do you have plans next Saturday?”

  “I better.” I gave his thigh a possessive squeeze.

  He gave that handsome smile I adored, like he lived for my enthusiasm, couldn’t get enough of it. “I thought you could meet some of my friends.”

  “I have met your friends.” I played basketball with them every Wednesday, got hot wings and pizza afterward.

  Jeremy ran his fingers through Matt’s short hair. “He means his rich, asshole friends…”

  Dax didn’t refute the claim. “Yes…those friends.”

  “Will I like them?” I asked.

  He shrugged. “Not sure. But you’ll definitely be able to handle them. After the mob, these guys will be a piece of cake.” He looked at me affectionately, like my wild side was somehow endearing.

  “Well, I actually like the mob. If you put aside all the stealing and murder, they’re pretty cool guys.”

  He chuckled and brought me in close so he could press a kiss to my neck.

  “What are we doing?” I asked, st
ill feeling the tingle on my skin after his lips were gone.

  “I have this charity dinner on Saturday night.”

  “Oh. So, this is like an event.”

  He shrugged. “I guess. But they’ll be there, so I thought it was a good time to introduce you.”

  “Sounds kind of stuffy.”

  He shrugged in affirmation.

  “Is there an alleyway nearby…?”

  He smiled again before his lips moved back to my neck, giving me a longer embrace. “I’m sure there is. And if not, I’ll definitely find one.”

  Denise and the guys left, so we picked up the empty beer bottles and pizza boxes and tossed them.

  Dax stood with his hands in his pockets and moved toward the door, like he expected to leave.

  I threw the last few bottles away without looking at him. “What do you think you’re doing?”

  He stopped in front of the door, not wearing a smile on his lips but definite playfulness in his eyes. “Do you want me to stay?”

  “No.” I tied the strings to the top of the bag, and I set it on the floor near the kitchen island so Charlie could throw it out. “I’m telling you.”

  And just like that, he looked completely enamored of me once again. He came closer and grabbed the bag from the floor. “I’ll take care of this.”

  “You don’t have to do that.”

  He nodded behind me to where Charlie stood. “I think I’m getting better at this telepathy thing because I’m pretty sure he wants to talk to you.” He grabbed the other bag too and carried it into the hallway.

  When I turned around to look at Charlie, I stopped in place because he looked furious. His normally smiling mouth was clenched tight like he was suppressing a scream, and his large hands gripped the edge of the counter like he might break it off into pieces. “Wow, what happened?”

  “What happened? Did you see Denise sitting in my lap? I’m surprised my dick didn’t hurt her back.”

  I rolled my eyes at his flattering assessment of himself. “Okay now…”

  “You said you would talk to Kat, so talk to her. What the hell are you waiting for? It’s not like I can just go out and pick up a girl at this point. I have a celibate relationship with Denise, and it fucking sucks.”