If Loving You Is Wrong Read online

  “Me too…”

  He kissed the other wrist. “Most ex’s can’t be friends. But we’re different, Skye. We are far more mature than anyone else our age. And I know our love is strong. Nothing will keep us apart.”

  I nodded.

  “Do you feel better now?”

  “Yeah…we’re family. And we’ll always be.”

  “Exactly.” He leaned back and rested his hands on my thighs, rubbing me gently. He stared at my face, never looking away.

  I leaned forward, my head pressed to his. Then I closed my eyes, enjoying the silence. Cayson moved his hands to my waist, gripping me. I leaned down and found his lips, feeling their softness.

  His hands tightened around me slightly, conveying the pleasure my mouth was giving him. They moved up my sweater, feeling my bare skin.

  My hair fell around his face, blocking him in. I deepened our kiss, feeling his lips with my small mouth. His tongue found mine, dancing slowly. He breathed hard into my mouth, showing his excitement.

  Finally giving into what I wanted, I broke our kiss then grabbed the end of my sweater. Slowly, I pulled it off then dropped it on the couch. I wore my black lacy bra. It pushed my breasts together and made them look bigger than they already were. Cayson stared at them for a moment with desire burning in his eyes. Then he looked back at me, his lips desperate for my touch. He pulled me toward him, kissing me again.

  I felt his chest beneath his shirt. Every groove and line was hard. He worked out and was in great shape, but I didn’t realize just how strong he was. How was I immune to him for so long? Now I couldn’t stop picturing him shirtless. I couldn’t stop imagining how he would feel inside me. My lips were constantly desperate for his. I needed him—all the time.

  I lifted his shirt then yanked it off. I tossed it aside then stared down at his body. His chest was wide and strong. His stomach was lined with hard abs. He was thick like a slab of wood and strong like a concrete wall. My hands moved down, feeling every inch of his perfection. “Damn, you’re so hot,” I blurted.

  Cayson stared into my eyes while I touched him. It didn’t seem like he heard me. His hands fingered the waistline of my leggings but he didn’t pull them down. Then he gripped me and pulled me closer, his lips finding mine. He sat up, holding me close to him.

  My chest pressed against his. Our stomachs almost touched. I moved my arms around his neck, my mouth devouring his like I couldn’t get enough. Cayson moved his hands up my back, feeling the small muscles underneath. He moved past my bra clasp to my shoulders. Then he came down again and back to my waist.

  I knew he didn’t want to push me. He wanted me to make it clear what I wanted. I doubted he was always this sensitive when he was fooling around, but since our relationship was different, he was cautious. While I continued to kiss him, I reached behind me and unclasped the strap. My bra was immediately loose on me and it started to fall.

  I broke our kiss and stared at him, wanting to see his reaction to me.

  Cayson felt a strap in his hand but he didn’t pull it down. His breathing was hard and he didn’t stare at my chest. His eyes were glued to mine, like he was afraid to look. I grabbed the hand that held the strap then pulled it down. His breath hitched. The rest of the bra came with it.

  I hated my chest. Guys constantly stared at it instead of my face. It was hard to tell if a guy was really into me because of my personality or just my appearance. It seemed like they were immediately smitten with my rack. But with Cayson, it was different. I already knew he loved me for me, that my chest had nothing to do with it. And I wanted him to enjoy my body.

  Cayson still wouldn’t look. His eyes were locked to mine.

  I grabbed his large hands then placed them over my breasts, making him squeeze them. He swallowed the lump in his throat then moaned quietly. “Touch me.”

  That seemed to unwind him. His hands moved back to my waist and he pulled me closer to him, his mouth closing around a nipple. He kissed it then sucked it hard, taking it into his mouth.

  Seeing the passionate way he took me only made me more aroused. I loved feeling him suck my skin, tasting me. He kissed my entire chest, exploring each breast while he dug his fingers into my skin, trembling slightly.

  My head rolled back and I closed my eyes while I enjoyed how good it felt. It never felt this way before, this amazing. With every other guy, I felt used and tarnished. Cayson made me feel loved and sexy at the same time.

  “God, you’re beautiful.” He licked the valley between my breasts. His mouth moved all the way to my throat, tasting me. He stopped when he reached my chin, placing a gentle kiss there.

  My hands moved to the button of his jeans and undid them. Then I tried to yank them down.

  Cayson hooked one arm around my waist then stood up, still kissing my neck. He pulled his jeans down with one hand then kicked them off, not breaking his focus on me. Then he sat back down, in his briefs.

  His hands moved to the top of my leggings then he yanked them down. He got them over my ass before he rolled me to the couch then pulled them the rest of the way off. I wore a matching black thong. I wasn’t sure what would happen tonight, but I wanted to be prepared.

  Cayson stared at me for a moment, taking me in. His eyes lingered on my legs before he grabbed them and adjusted me on the couch. Then he pulled one over his shoulder and kissed the inner thigh.

  My body had never been worshipped like this. My hands fisted his hair, feeling the soft strands.

  His mouth moved to the opposite thigh, kissing it in the same way.

  My head rolled back, loving the way he was making me feel. He was already an amazing lover.

  Then he moved up my stomach, kissing the skin around my bellybutton. He kissed the area of my ribs then moved back down to my hips. He pulled down my thong slightly and he kissed the now exposed area, lighting me on fire.

  “Cayson…”

  He immediately moved up my body and crushed his lips against mine, like he needed the embrace in order to survive.

  My hands glided down his strong back, feeling every muscle. When I reached his briefs, I gripped the brim then slowly pulled them down, exposing him. I didn’t look because our lips were engaged but I felt every inch of him as he was revealed. His length lay against my stomach, and I didn’t need to look at it to know how large it was. He definitely put Zack to shame. I pulled the fabric down to his knees and he kicked them off the rest of the way.

  When he was naked, he ended our embrace and stared at me, waiting for me to look.

  I gripped his biceps and glanced down. Instinctively, I licked my lips, liking what I saw.

  Cayson moaned while he watched me, the excitement in his eyes.

  I wrapped my hand around his shaft and rubbed him gently, massaging the tip with my thumb.

  He breathed hard while he felt me. Then he grabbed my thong and slid it off. When it was gone, he stared at me for a moment before his eyes moved to mine again.

  I didn’t kiss him. Instead, I felt his naked body against mine. We’d been friends my entire life and I never thought of him this way before. But now we’re together. And it felt right. It made me wonder why we hadn’t done this a long time ago. “You’re beautiful.”

  “Not as beautiful as you,” he whispered. He hooked his arm around my waist then pulled me to him as he stood up. My legs instinctively wrapped around his waist, and he carried me into his bedroom.

  He carefully laid me on his bed, my head hitting his pillow. Then he pressed his head to mine. “I want to taste you.”

  I knew what he meant. “I do too.”

  He kissed my chest and stomach as he moved down. When he reached the area between my legs, he gently kissed me.

  And I went wild.

  He rubbed his tongue against my clitoris, making a circular motion. Then he slipped his tongue inside me, applying the right amount of pleasure in all the right places.

  I writhed on the bed, gripping his hair with one hand and the sheets with the other. �
�Cayson…”

  His thumb moved to my clitoris, applying the same circular motion.

  My head was spinning. My heart was racing. I couldn’t control my breathing. He was making me feel so good, better than I’ve ever felt. His mouth was warm and inviting, sending me to a climax so strong I almost didn’t recognize it. “Oh my god…”

  Cayson continued to please me, making it last as long as possible.

  When the sensation passed, I was out of breath. My hand moved through my hair, unsure what else to do. I was disoriented, caught off guard by how good it felt.

  Cayson moved back up my body slowly, my moisture still on his lips.

  “Why the hell did we wait so long?” I blurted.

  He smirked slightly. “You tell me.”

  “God, you’re good at that. You’re fucking hot.”

  His cheeks blushed slightly. “I’m glad you think so.”

  “Like, really hot. Wow.”

  He kissed my chest, probably trying to hide his face. “I’m glad I can please you. I’ve never gotten so much pleasure out of it.”

  “Until now.” I pushed him to his back then climbed on top of him.

  His head hit the pillow and he looked up at me with desire in his eyes.

  I moved down his body until I met his cock. It was thick and long, and it twitched when I came near. I grabbed his shaft then put his tip in my mouth, moaning as I did it. I hated giving head. It was the worst. But with Cayson, I enjoyed it, despite his large size.

  Cayson breathed hard while he lay back on the pillow. His hands moved to my hair, pulling it from my face. Then he gripped it with one hand, fisting it.

  I took him deep in my throat, as far as I could go.

  “Skye…”

  I moved up and down, doing my best to give him the most amazing blowjob of his life. He certainly gave me the best head I’d ever received.

  His other hand rested on the back of my neck, guiding me slightly when he got really into it. “Fuck, that feels good.”

  I sucked his tip then ran my tongue across it before I took him deep again.

  He breathed hard, his chest rising and falling. “Skye…I’m going to come.” He cupped my neck, getting ready.

  I didn’t pull him out. I kept going, wanting to taste him.

  He continued to breathe hard. “If you don’t want me to come in your mouth, pull me out.”

  I deep-throated him again.

  He took a few more breaths before he suddenly tensed. A deep moan from the back of his throat escaped his lips. He gripped my neck, holding on. “Mmm…” He filled me, releasing into me.

  I swallowed it as it came, noting how much it was. When I was certain he was finished, I licked his tip then pulled him out.

  He was still catching his breath, winded.

  I crawled up his chest then leaned over him.

  “You’re really good at that…”

  “Only because I enjoyed it.”

  He cupped my face and kissed me gently. The kiss lasted for several seconds, the connection passing between us. Then he pulled away, affection in his eyes. “You blew my mind.”

  “I think I blew your load.”

  He chuckled then smirked at me. “That too, definitely.”

  I lay next to him, getting comfortable on his bed.

  Cayson pulled the sheets over him then snuggled close to me. His hand moved through my hair while he stared at me, his eyes boring into mine. “I’ve never seen or shared anything so beautiful in my life.”

  My heart convulsed at his words. I never expected Cayson to be such a gentle lover. Nor did I expect him to be so romantic and tender. He was thoughtful, passionate, and sexy. “Nor have I.”

  He continued to move his hand through my hair, his eyes never leaving my face. He stared at me like I was a work of art, a piece on the wall of a great museum. I realized then that I recognized that look. He’d given it to me hundreds of times. I just didn’t recognize it before. “I can’t believe I didn’t notice…”

  “I wasn’t very discreet about it.”

  “And everyone told me…but I thought they were just joking.”

  “No, definitely not.” His hand moved to my shoulder, touching the skin lightly. “But it’s okay. It took us awhile to get here, but it happened. And that’s all that matters.”

  “Yeah…” I grabbed his hand then brushed a kiss across his knuckles.

  His eyes softened when he looked at me.

  “Is that why you never wanted to talk about your personal life?” I whispered.

  “Yeah.”

  “I feel so stupid now.”

  “Don’t,” he said gently.

  “Is that why you hated Zack?”

  He chuckled slightly. “No. That guy was a dick. I hated him regardless. But more so because you noticed him and not me.”

  “I wasn’t thinking clearly…” Zack would always be one of my biggest regrets.

  “It’s in the past. Let it go.”

  My hand moved to his chest, feeling the mound of muscle underneath. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Skye, you can ask me anything. You know that.”

  “It’s about your personal life.”

  “You can ask about that too.”

  “How many girls have you been with?” I was just curious. Since he never talked about his rendezvous, I really had no idea.

  He thought for a moment. “I’m not sure. More than fifteen but less than twenty.”

  That was more than I expected. “Were they ever serious?”

  “No. A lot of them were similar arrangements to the one I had with Jasmine.”

  “Oh.” I didn’t like thinking about her. I got jealous all over again. “On the plane, you told me you were in love with a girl. Who was it?”

  He smirked. “Seriously? You haven’t figured that out yet?”

  “I just wanted to make sure…”

  “I guess you are stupid,” he said with a laugh.

  I hit his arm gently. “Hey. Don’t be mean.”

  He pulled me closer and kissed my forehead. “You’re the only one, Skye. It’s always been you.”

  My heart melted at his words. I felt special, cherished. Cayson was the perfect guy and he only wanted me. “I can’t believe I was immune to your charms for so long. Now, I can’t stop thinking about kissing you when I’m in class. At night, I think about you in ways I never did before.”

  “I like what I’m hearing.”

  I smiled. “I just can’t believe it took me so long to open my eyes.”

  “Tell me more about these fantasies.” His hand moved to my waist.

  “I just…think about us.”

  “Doing what?” He rubbed his nose against mine.

  “Making love.”

  “I’ve been thinking about it for five years. And I’m looking forward to the real thing.”

  “I am too…”

  He kissed my forehead again.

  “When did these feelings start?”

  He shrugged. “A long time ago. I can’t recall the exact moment. It wasn’t something you did or said. It just happened. I started to notice the sound of your laugh, the way your hair shined in the sun. I hung on to every word you said. I didn’t think about other girls, only you. And it hit me one day; I was in love with you. And the fact those feelings never went away only solidified that.”

  “Well, I’m glad you’re mine now, Cayson. I never want to be without you.” I clutched him tightly.

  “Neither do I, baby.” Emotion filled his voice as he said it. His hand moved through my hair again, being gentle like always.

  I rested my head on his chest and listened to the beating of his heart. It was slow and steady. His chest rose and fell with every breath of his lungs. It felt like the rising tide on the shore. I listened to him breathe, treasuring the quiet companionship. Feeling his body wrapped around mine in his sheets felt right, felt perfect. It was what I’d been missing my whole life. He was the guy for me, the one I had all along.
I just never noticed.

  The front door opened and closed. “It’s time to play ball. Cay, get your ass out here!” It was Slade.

  Cayson sighed. “Damn.”

  “What’s Slade doing here?”

  “He said I’ve been ditching him for weeks. He wants to hang out. I told him you were coming over tonight but he obviously doesn’t care.”

  “How did he get in?”

  “I have no idea.” He pulled the blanket off then pulled on his sweatpants. “I’ll be right back.” He walked out and shut the door, leaving it cracked.

  I heard their conversation.

  “Can you stop barging into my apartment?” Cayson demanded.

  “Could you stop being a dick and actually hang out with your best bro?”

  “I said tomorrow.”

  “I want to play today.” Slade bounced a basketball on the hardwood floor.

  “Thanks for getting my floor dirty,” Cayson said sarcastically.

  “If we were at the courts, it wouldn’t matter.”

  “How did you get in anyway?”

  “Through the front door, idiot.” Slade bounced the ball again. “I’m starting to think Uncle Sean paid your way into this school too.”

  “But it was locked.”

  “It’s called a lighter.”

  “What?” Cayson asked. “How did you get in with a lighter?”

  “I’ll show you.”

  “I don’t want you to show me,” Cayson said immediately. “I just want to know how you broke into my apartment.”

  I left the bed and pulled on one of Cayson’s shirts.

  “I’m not breaking in. Do you see me stealing anything?” Slade asked.

  “That’s looting,” Cayson corrected. “What you are doing now is breaking in.”

  “Potato-potato.”

  “Slade, I think it’s time for you to leave.”

  “What are you guys doing in the bedroom anyway?” Slade dropped the ball then moved to the kitchen. “What smells good?” He opened the oven door. “Ooh…chicken.”