Ray of Love (Ray #3) Read online

  “She came on to me a few times last night. She was pretty drunk, and she’s usually aggressive when she’s drunk. She kissed me and I stopped it. That’s really about it.”

  I slammed my hands down on the table. “That’s it? You just had your first kiss with Rae.”

  “No, I didn’t.”

  “So you’ve kissed her before?” My nostrils flared.

  “No.” He spoke in a bored voice. “It doesn’t count.”

  “It sure as hell does count.”

  “Not when she doesn’t remember it.”

  “Oh…she woke up this morning and forgot?”

  He nodded. “She was totally hammered, man. I wasn’t going to start anything up when she was like that. Don’t get me wrong, I was flattered. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect Rae to—” He stopped talking when he saw the pissed look on my face. “I just didn’t think we should start off like that. Since she wouldn’t remember any of it, that made it easier. We can keep doing what we’re doing, and when I’m ready, I’ll go for it.”

  “And when is that going to be?”

  “Soon.” That was all he said.

  “Rochelle has been gone for almost a month now. I think you’ve waited long enough.”

  “Yeah, I think I have too. But I want the moment to be right, you know?”

  “I’m sure Rae is waiting for the same moment.”

  “Yeah, you’re probably right,” he said.

  “So funny,” I said. “You both have feelings for each other, but you guys don’t know it.”

  “I know she has feelings for me,” he corrected.

  “Yeah, but she’s clueless about your feelings for her.”

  “And let’s keep it that way,” he said. “You didn’t tell her, right?”

  “Nope.” I zipped my lips. “Which is why you should forgive me for the whole Kayden thing.”

  He glared at me. “You lied to me for six months. You’re going to have to step it up if you want forgiveness.”

  “Oh, come on. It was a complicated situation.”

  “You still could have told me no matter how complicated it was. And what’s going on now? Are you dating?” He grabbed a handful of fries and shoved them onto his plate. He grabbed the bottle of ketchup and squirted it across.

  “I asked her if she wanted to have dinner. I wouldn’t say we’re dating. We’re just not seeing other people.”

  Zeke gave me a look I’d been getting from him my whole life. “That means you’re dating.”

  “No, not really. We’re just hanging out exclusively.”

  “Dating.”

  “Hell no. We aren’t fooling around.”

  “You aren’t?” he asked in surprise.

  “No. I want to take a different approach this time.”

  Now he smirked. “So, dating.”

  “Shut the hell up, man.”

  “I’m just telling you how it is. Not my fault if you don’t want to see it that way.”

  When I thought about his definition of dating, I realized I could use it against him. “Then you and Rae are dating.”

  “How so?”

  “You’re not seeing anyone but each other. You have feelings for each other but you don’t fool around. Boom! You’re dating.”

  He considered my words as he munched on a handful of fries. “I guess you aren’t dating Kayden.”

  “Take that, asshole.”

  “But does it really count if she doesn’t know?” he questioned. “Because she doesn’t know how I feel about her yet. So…I think you’re wrong.”

  He had me and I knew it. “Damn…”

  “Sorry, man. Better luck next time.”

  ***

  I arrived at Kayden’s door with a handful of flowers. I saw them in the store window when I walked to her apartment, so I thought I would grab a few to make a good impression. I pissed all over my other first impression.

  When she opened the door, her mouth formed the biggest smile I’d ever seen. “Oh, wow. They’re beautiful.” She took them from my hands and immediately smelled them. “Thanks so much…”

  Seeing how happy the simple gesture made her somehow made me feel like shit. I could have treated her better to begin with if I just put in a little effort. Instead, I was an asshole and stomped all over her heart. “You’re welcome. Are you ready for dinner?”

  “Yeah.” She put the flowers in a vase filled with water then grabbed her clutch. She wore leggings with a long blouse on top. It flattered her beautiful curves, and the color complemented her nice skin tone as well. She looked perfect, like always.

  I knew I should tell her that. “You look…really… yeah.” That was the best I could do. I was nervous because I’d never done this before, and I was already in the dog house for screwing everything up to begin with.

  She understood it was the best I could do. “Thanks. You look handsome, like always.”

  She said it so why couldn’t I? “Thanks.”

  We went to an Italian café a few blocks from her apartment. It was nice but not too fancy. I didn’t want our first date to be too intense since I was already uncomfortable as it was. The pressure was on my shoulders, and she probably felt the strain as well.

  She looked at her menu, her gaze down and her eyes scanning as she read the selections.

  I didn’t have an appetite so I just picked the first thing on the list.

  After the waiter came and took our orders, he disappeared and left us alone together.

  She used to be the awkward one when we were alone together, but now I was the awkward one. “How was work?”

  “Good. But I think I’m going to be leaving soon.”

  “Why?”

  “The director said they’re closing down the library later this year. Not enough income to keep the lights on. People just don’t go to the library anymore. Everything is digital now.”

  “Wow, I’m so sorry.”

  She shrugged. “It’s okay. I’ll find another job. I have a lot of time to get everything together.”

  “I still feel bad. I know you love that place.”

  “Well, I love being surrounded by books all day. But, I can always do that when I get home.”

  I wanted to say something to make her feel better, but I couldn’t think of anything.

  “How’s Groovy Bowl?”

  “Good,” I answered. “Things have been going well since we reopened a few months ago. I used to think it was just a grand opening rush, but now I think it’s the norm.”

  “That’s great, Rex.” She gave me that smile that said she was proud of me.

  I liked that smile.

  “Thanks. I’m really glad Zeke and Rae helped me out. I wouldn’t be here without them.”

  “They’re great friends. No doubt about that.”

  When I considered her situation at the library, an idea came to me. “Why don’t you open your own bookstore? You know, a bookstore and a coffee shop. There are a lot of college kids around here that could use the Wi-Fi and a coffee.”

  “Oh, I don’t know about that. I’m not really a businesswoman.”

  “I’m not a businessman either,” I said. “It’s not as hard as it sounds.”

  She shrugged. “I don’t really want to work with customers and make coffee. I really only care about the books.”

  “You could hire people to do those other things. You would just oversee the store, organize book signings, decorate, decide what books will get on the shelves, stuff like that. It doesn’t have to be enormous, just a small shop.”

  “No matter how small it is, it still sounds ambitious to me.”

  “Give yourself more credit, Kayden.” When she put her mind to something, she always succeeded. She wasn’t the most confident person, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t competent. “I have no doubt you could do it and do an awesome job.”

  She shrugged modestly. “I’ll think about it. I’ll have to figure something out soon…”

  An idea popped into my mind, an
d it was kind of a crazy one. “What if you work for me?”

  “At Groovy Bowl?” she asked with a small laugh.

  “Why not?” I asked. “You could be a manager and oversee things. Plus, you and I could make out in the office…” I waggled my eyebrows.

  She laughed harder. “I don’t know the first thing about bowling.”

  “Like I do. And it could be temporary until you figure out what you really want to do.”

  “True. Well, thanks for the offer.”

  “Of course. But I do expect you to go above and beyond…if you know what I mean.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Of course I do, Rex. Wouldn’t expect anything less.”

  ***

  After dinner, we got ice cream then I walked her home. The beginning of the night was awkward because of everything we’d been through. I kept picturing all the guys she brought back to her place, even though I didn’t want to. None of that would have happened if I’d pulled my head out of my ass sooner.

  I was surprised how much fun we had considering we’d known each other for so long. I felt like I got to know her all over again, but in a different way. She was still tense around me, but by the end of the night, she was relaxed and herself.

  I couldn’t remember the last time I had that much fun.

  I walked her to her door and felt my cock harden inside my jeans. Spending the evening with her made me want to finish off the night with something unforgettable. But a different version of myself held me back. I asked her out because I wanted something more than a physical relationship. If I wanted to do things the right way, we had to slow down. “Thanks for going out with me.”

  “Thanks for taking me…” She stared at me like she expected me to kiss her.

  I wanted to hold her but I thought even that was too sexual. “I’d like to go out again.” I didn’t want her to think I wasn’t going to call. I was there for the long haul. But I was also doing everything as slowly as possible.

  “Me too.”

  “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  She couldn’t hide her surprise at the odd dismissal of our date. “Do you want to come inside?”

  More than anything in the goddamn world. “I want things to be different this time.”

  She nodded like she understood.

  “I don’t just want to just hook up. I want more.”

  “I do too.”

  “So…let’s take it slow.”

  “Okay.”

  A kiss shouldn’t be too intense, right? I wrapped my arms around her waist and immediately felt the comfort of the familiar intimacy. She had womanly hips and a beautifully narrow waist. She felt a little different in my embrace because of the weight she lost, but she was still perfect.

  I pressed my forehead against hers and just held her, forgetting the kiss because the embrace was just as good. I closed my eyes as I felt her heartbeat pound against my chest. It was wild and out of control, her emotions all over the place.

  I pulled her closer into me, feeling my breathing increase as the longing overtook me. I took our relationship for granted once before, but I would never do that again. It wasn’t until I lost Kayden that I realized I had the love of a remarkable woman. I was too stupid to realize it then, but I definitely realized it now.

  “I missed this…” Her words disappeared into the fabric of my shirt.

  My arms tightened around her waist, and I rested my chin on her head. Together, we stood alone in the hallway with our arms wrapped around one another. It felt good just to stand there and hold her, ignoring the passing of time. “I missed this too.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Rae

  I put on the dress Jessie let me borrow, the black heels that went with it, and I went a little extreme on my hair. I’d never spent much time getting ready for anything, but tonight, I went all out. I curled my hair and sprayed the shit out of them so they would stay in all night—and hopefully last until the morning.

  I was sick of waiting to make my move on Zeke.

  Absolutely sick of it.

  I seriously had the hots for him, and this obsession was only getting worse. When I had lunch with him yesterday, I wanted to jump across the table and straddle his hips like I owned him. When I slept at his place, I wanted to wake up naked in his enormous bed.

  I couldn’t keep these feelings in any longer.

  If he rejected me, ouch. But if he didn’t…I might go home with him tonight.

  “Damn, you look hot.” Jessie walked into my bedroom and looked me up and down with approval. “I knew that would fit you perfectly. Your tits look awesome and your legs go on for days.”

  A comment like that would be strange if it came from anyone besides Jessie or Kayden. But since they were my best friends, they could say anything they wanted and get away with it. “Thanks.”

  “I’m guessing you’re going for it tonight?” She sat on my bed and watched me get ready in the mirror on my vanity.

  “Yep.” I applied a layer of lip gloss and fixed my hair. “For better or worse.”

  “Well, he’s gonna have a hard time turning you down, that’s for sure.”

  Kayden knocked before she walked in. “Hey—” Her mouth stretched into an enormous smile. “Damn, Rae’s got her groove back.”

  “You like?” I turned and posed for her.

  “Yeah. But you know who’s really going to like it?” Kayden said. “That hunk, Zeke.”

  “God, I hope so.” After one more look in the mirror, I turned away. “Alright, any changes?”

  Jessie looked me up and down then shook her head. “You look perfect.”

  “More than perfect,” Kayden said. “The only way Zeke isn’t going to want you is if he’s gay.”

  “I’m pretty sure he’s not,” I said. “So my odds are good.”

  “Then let’s get going.” Jessie grabbed my perfume then sprayed it up my dress.

  “Uh, excuse me?” I swatted her hand away.

  “You gotta make sure you smell good everywhere,” Jessie reminded me. “I mean, it’s been four months of neglect down there. Who knows what’s happened in that time of isolation.”

  “She’s fine,” I said. “But thanks for checking.”

  “Did you shave?” Kayden asked.

  “Even better,” I said. “I got waxed this morning—from head to toe.”

  Jessie gave me a thumbs-up. “Let’s go get you some action. Because if Zeke turns you down, we’re gonna make sure you get laid anyway.”

  ***

  When we arrived at the bar, Zeke and Rex were already there. They stood at one of the high-top tables with their beers on coasters. The game was on the TVs so their eyes were glued to the screens most of the time.

  “Rae, you go first so Zeke can see you the best.” Jessie gave me a gentle nudge.

  “Strut it,” Kayden said. “And hard.”

  “I know how to walk, guys,” I hissed.

  “Well, walk sexy,” Jessie said.

  “Okay, I don’t quite know how to do that,” I said. “But I can try.” I walked to the front and approached the table with my clutch tucked under my arm.

  When Zeke saw me approach in his periphery, he turned to stare at me head on. Instead of flashing me his typical smile, his eyes darkened with considerable heat. Freely, his eyes roamed over my body, moving from my dark eyeliner and painted lips, all the way down my short dress to my black stilettos.

  Speechless, he just stared.

  I think I nailed it.

  Rex stared at me with indifference, like usual. Then his eyes moved to Kayden, and he gave her a look identical to the one Zeke just gave me. He whistled under his breath. “Damn, woman. Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

  “A heart attack?” Kayden asked.

  “Yeah,” Rex said. “You know, because most of my blood has drained elsewhere.”

  I was too busy staring at Zeke to care about what my brother just said. Zeke liked the way I looked in the dress, but I liked the way he look
ed even more. He wore a dark green t-shirt that fit tightly over his pectoral muscles. I could see the definition of his arms through the fabric. His corded forearms led to strong hands, the kind I wanted all over my body. His black jeans hung low on his hips, and I couldn’t help but picture those V lines that extended above his waistband.

  The fact that he didn’t even try to look sexy just made him sexier. He didn’t do his hair. When he walked out of the shower, he dried it with a towel and that was the end of it. He was sexy enough to be on a firemen calendar, but he didn’t possess the arrogance of someone that good-looking.

  Damn, he was perfect.

  Zeke continued to stare at me, not saying hi like he normally would.

  I didn’t say anything either. Words left me.

  The rest of the gang talked like normal.

  Rex wrapped his arm around Kayden’s waist. “I know this is weird for all of us. But yes, Kayden and I are seeing each other. We understand the risks it could pose to our friendship and the group. But we both want this, and we hope you guys can accept it.”

  My eyes never left Zeke’s.

  He didn’t turn away either. “Whatever you want, man.”

  “Are you going to even look at us?” Rex demanded.

  I sighed before I turned to my brother. “Congrats. You have a girlfriend. Good for you.”

  “Whoa, I didn’t say anything about a girlfriend.” Rex dropped his hand. “We’re just seeing each other.”

  “Exclusively,” Zeke jabbed. “She’s your girlfriend. Just admit it.”

  “He’s right,” Kayden said. “I’m your girlfriend, and I better be addressed as such.”

  Rex didn’t have a rebuttal when those words left her lips. “Alright, cool.”

  Jessie laughed. “Pussy-whipped already.”

  “I’m so not pussy-whipped,” Rex snapped.

  “You are, man,” Zeke said. “But you know what? That’s okay. Guys are the happiest when they are pussy-whipped.”

  “Really?” Rex asked in surprise.

  “Oh yeah.” Zeke nodded before he looked at me. “Can I get you a drink?”

  Butterflies flew across my stomach. “Sure. A lemon drop.”

  “Be right back.” He left his beer on the table before he headed to the bar on the other side of the room.