Burn (Electric Series #3) Read online

  I decided to take advantage of his connection. “Have you seen Volt lately?”

  “Hmm…not since last week. His mother wants the two of you to come over for dinner whenever you have the chance.”

  Then he clearly didn’t know about Volt’s meltdown.

  “Where did you see him last?” I tried not to make it obvious I was prying, trying to get as much information as possible. I felt like a detective putting together a timeline to solve a crime.

  “Here, actually. He came by the office to organize a SAT prep course for the students.”

  A piece of helpful information. “He came by your office?”

  “Yeah.”

  “What time was this?”

  “Um…about two minutes before the bell rang. I asked him if he was stopping by your office to say hello, and he said yes. And that’s it.”

  My eyes narrowed as I tried to break it down. He came to the school last week and said he was going to stop by my office but he never did. “What day of the week was that?”

  “Let me see…” He crossed his arms over his chest as he tried to think. “Tuesday. Yes, it was Tuesday. I remember because I had a meeting with my superintendent that afternoon.”

  Tuesday. What happened on Tuesday? I searched my brain and remembered it was the day of our fight. I spotted all my stuff on the doorstep then he threw me out of his apartment.

  So whatever happened occurred that day.

  But what did happen?

  And then it hit me.

  Mr. Davidson gave me those flowers shortly after the bell rang. And he kissed me.

  Shit.

  Volt must have come to the door and saw it through the little window.

  Now everything was making sense.

  He assumed I was sneaking around behind his back, cheating on him right under his nose.

  That’s what this was all about.

  “Thanks so much, Principal Rosenthal.”

  “No problem,” he said. “Spend that wisely.” He winked before he walked out, having no clue what I was really thanking him for.

  ***

  I arrived at Volt’s doorstep and pounded my fists against the wood until he answered. “I’m not leaving until you open this door. I have something I want to say to you, and you need to hear it.” I suspected getting his attention would be difficult. I couldn’t call because he never answered. If he didn’t open the door, I’d be screwed. I’d have to wait until he left for work. Or worse, get his parents involved.

  To my surprise, he opened the door. He wore his sweatpants without a shirt, which told me he just got out of the shower. His hair was a little damp from running a towel through it.

  I’d normally be attracted to him, but right now, I was just pissed.

  “What?” he said in a bored voice. “You’re like a fly that just won’t die.”

  My blood boiled, and I wanted to slap him hard across the face. “Asshole, listen to me. When Mr. Davidson gave me those flowers, I thought they were from you. That’s why I took them to begin with, and that’s why I treasured them. When he leaned in and kissed me, I had no idea it was coming. If you’d stayed by the door, you would have seen me push him off and ask him what the hell he was doing. But you didn’t get any of that information because you turned around and walked away. You assumed I was sleeping around without getting the whole story first. I admit the scene didn’t look great from an outside point of view, but you should have given me the benefit of the doubt. You should have walked in there and demanded to know what going on. You shouldn’t have jumped to such a ridiculous conclusion without giving me five minutes to explain what you saw. Volt, it’s me. You know I would never do that. But you threw a tantrum without even telling me what you were mad about.” I shoved my finger into his chest. “You’re the one who fucked up this relationship, not me. I’m hurt that you don’t trust me. I’m hurt you have so little respect for me that you won’t even hear my side of the story. I’m hurt you wouldn’t even tell me what you saw. You walked away from this relationship without giving it any chance—any chance at all. And that’s a goddamn slap in the face.” I didn’t realize how quickly I was talking until I finished. My chest expanded with an ache every time I took a breath. Sweat formed at the back of my neck because the exertion was more than I realized. When I was in the moment, I just exploded. I was so angry I couldn’t control my feelings. Like an incoming tide, I got swept away. “We’re done, Volt. And not because of me, but because of you.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Volt

  Fuck.

  I really screwed this up.

  Motherfucker.

  Ugh.

  I collapsed on my couch after she left and stared blankly at the wall. All the rage I’d been holding deep inside evaporated like boiling water. It left my body immediately, like it was never there to begin with.

  I know what I saw, and it looked bad. It looked like Taylor was fooling around with some other guy. Anyone would have made the same assumption. But her story panned out perfectly. And even if it didn’t, she was right.

  I should have given her the benefit of the doubt.

  My insecurities and doubt ate me alive all week. I pushed her away the second she hurt me, tossing her aside because I was afraid of the kind of power she had. She wounded me with an invisible knife, and I couldn’t stop bleeding.

  I’d been bleeding all week.

  And then she dumped me.

  I’m such a fucking idiot.

  I didn’t bother going to her after that speech she gave on my doorstep. Now she was just as mad at me as I had been at her. She was illogical in her rage, and if I tried to talk to her, it would just go in one ear and out the other.

  The next day, I went to her classroom because that was the only way I could talk to her. If I went to her apartment, she wouldn’t answer. When I called, it went straight to voicemail. There was no other option than to ambush her as soon as the bell rang.

  I walked into her classroom the second the last student walked out.

  She looked up like she’d been expecting me. The greeting she gave me was full of silence and loathing. She turned back to her desk and organized her things so she could leave—and get away from me.

  After I fucked up this badly, I wasn’t sure how I could fix it. I really made an ass of myself, putting her down and saying unforgettable things. I wouldn’t blame her for not taking me back. In fact, I would judge her if she did.

  But I was selfish and needed her in my life.

  She changed me for the better, made me into a man I thought was long dead. The beautiful relationship we had was not only full of amazing sex but also of raw emotion. If I were going to marry someone, it would be her. She would be pregnant with my child someday, and we would grow old together. I didn’t see that future in the beginning, but I saw it now.

  And I couldn’t lose it.

  She packed up her things without looking at me, giving me a cold shoulder that was borderline frosty. “I don’t want to see you, Volt. Leave me alone.”

  At least she wasn’t treating me like shit, the way I treated her. I said a lot of unforgivable things. I wasn’t even sure why I said them. The ferocity took over and I wasn’t myself. All the rage I felt with Sara came flooding back, and I lost my mind. “I’m sorry.” Those words sounded so pathetic when they left my lips. They didn’t do my remorse justice. They didn’t explain the depths of my feelings or show my immense regret. “I really am.”

  “Yeah?” she said coldly. “Well, I don’t care.”

  Ouch.

  That burned.

  “I’m sorry for all the things I said to you. I didn’t mean them.”

  “I sure hope not. Because I’m not a whore. And I’m not a fly that needs to die.”

  I cringed when she replayed those words.

  “When this bruise goes away, I’ll be able to forget about it. But that’ll take another week, at least.”

  Bruise?

  She extended her arm, showing the e
xact area where I grabbed her and dragged her out of my apartment. Once I had a good look at it, she retracted it.

  My eyes immediately watered. Not just from despair, but from frustration and self-loathing. I hated myself for doing that to her, for gripping her so hard I actually hurt her. That was never my intention, but I used more force than I realized. I made a mistake I could never take back.

  She shouldered her bag and still didn’t look at me. “Goodbye, Volt.”

  I had no right to fight for her now, not after the things I did. I had no right to beg for another chance. I didn’t deserve her, plain and simple.

  But I wanted her.

  “Taylor.”

  By some miracle, she stopped and turned around. Her lips were pressed tightly together like she didn’t have the patience to put up with me. But she stopped anyway, out of curiosity.

  “I’m sorry.” I never meant anything more in my life. “From the depths of my soul, I’m sorry.” I felt my eyes build with rare tears. I hadn’t cried in so long I couldn’t remember the last time. Overwhelming stress choked me by the throat, and I absolutely hated myself. I’d give anything to go back in time and change what I did. Anything at all.

  Taylor stared at me quietly, a glimmer of compassion sparkling in her eyes. “I know you are.”

  I released the breath I was holding, feeling hope surge deep inside my body. She would give me another chance because she loved me. If I had faith in anything, it was that.

  “But that’s not enough for me.”

  ***

  I sat at the bar with my face in my hands.

  I’d had a few glasses of scotch, my drug. The ice cubes felt good against my lips, and the alcohol numbed the pain on my insides.

  But it didn’t cure me.

  A few women joined me and bought a few rounds.

  I told them to leave me the fuck alone.

  So I kept sitting there, my face pressed into my hands. I listened to the TV in the corner as it played commentary about the most recent game. I listened to the music over the speaker system, a stupid, annoying love song. People talked in the background, laughing and having a good time.

  While I wished I could just disappear off the face of the earth.

  I’d never wanted something so much in my life. My heart ached to go back a week into the past and start over. I wanted a redo, a chance to keep my perfect life. It brought me so much frustration and anger that I wanted to die.

  How could I go on now?

  My life was fucking amazing. I had the girl of my dreams, and I threw her away. I loved her so much, but I didn’t show it. I didn’t prove it when it mattered most. I said horrific things and grabbed her when I shouldn’t have.

  I dug my own grave.

  Why?

  Why did I flip out like that?

  Why didn’t I just calm down and listen to her?

  Why did I fly off the handle?

  A redo. Please, give me a redo.

  After I had too much to drink, I paid my tab and started walking. My feet immediately took me to the one place I wanted to go. They took me to the one woman I couldn’t live without.

  I arrived at her door without remembering the walk. I tried the handle without knocking and realized it was locked. I banged my fists against the wood, dragging out the pause between each knock. Then I pressed my forehead to the wood and prayed she would answer.

  She did.

  The door opened, and I almost fell forward.

  Taylor pressed her hands against my chest and caught me, stopping me from collapsing on the hardwood floor. She helped align my balance before she took her hands off me. “Volt, are you alright?”

  “No.” My eyes focused on her face, seeing the deep sea of blue I used to fall into. I remembered every expression she made when we made love. I remembered the way she dug her nails into my skin because she enjoyed the love I gave her. I wanted that again. I’d give anything to feel that again.

  She placed her arm on my elbow and guided me to the couch. “Take a seat.”

  I fell into the cushions and almost toppled over. My head was spinning, and the room wouldn’t stay still.

  She shut the door and locked it before she returned with a glass of water. She set it on the coffee table in front of me. “Drink some water.”

  I wasn’t thirsty, but I obeyed her command. I took a long drink before I returned it to the table, doing whatever she wanted so she would be happy. Then I leaned back into the couch and turned my focus on her. When she wore a look of concern for me, she was even more beautiful. I missed those looks. I missed her touch. “Baby, I’m sorry. I really am.”

  “I know.” She ran her hand up and down my arm.

  “Then please give me another chance. I know I didn’t act the way I should have. I know I was an ass. But just give me one more shot. I won’t mess up again. I promise.”

  Her eyes softened as she caressed me. “Let’s talk about it in the morning. You don’t feel well right now.”

  “No, I want to talk about it now.” My hand grabbed hers, and I brought it to my lips to kiss it. “I want to sleep with you tonight. I want to be with you tonight. Don’t make me go home to my empty apartment. Don’t make me go back to the place that smells just like you. Because it doesn’t feel like home when you aren’t there.”

  Her fingers caressed my cheek before they cupped my face. Heartbreak was written on her face, pain from what I was feeling. Somehow, that made me feel worse. When she came to me and asked what was wrong, I kicked her out and told her to fuck off. She was being far nicer to me than I ever was to her. “Lay down.” She grabbed my feet and lifted them onto the couch.

  “I’m not tired.” I tried to fight, but I almost slipped off the couch instead.

  “Shh…” She put my feet up and pulled down the blanket hanging over the back of the couch. She spread it across my body and tucked me in like a child. She took care of me when she had every right to kick me out. “You’re exhausted. Get some sleep.”

  I didn’t want to close my eyes because she would disappear. Her face was the only comfort I had, and I couldn’t afford to lose it. I needed it more than ever. “I’ll do anything to make it up to you. Give me one more chance. Please.”

  She ran her fingers through my hair. “We’ll talk about it tomorrow.”

  “No…” I tried to fight the sleep descending over my eyes but I couldn’t. I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her on top of me, needing her there beside me. I could barely keep my eyes open because I was exhausted from not sleeping—and drunk off my ass.

  She didn’t move from my embrace, allowing me to hold her. She continued to stroke my hair, lulling me into a peaceful sleep. Her eyes were glued to mine as she watched me drift away.

  When I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer, I slipped away. I fell into dreams where Taylor was still mine. We went to the park together and had a picnic. The fall leaves fell around us, bringing us into a magical time. She looked at me with adoration because I was the man she couldn’t live without.

  And everything was good again.

  ***

  When I woke up the following morning, Taylor was already dressed for work. Two tablets sat on the coffee table along with a large glass of water. She must have predicted I would feel like shit the moment I woke up.

  She was right.

  I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and tried to preserve my dreams. Each one was beautiful, about a woman who completed my heart and soul. Waking up in her apartment reminded me of last night. I wasn’t exactly certain what I did or said, but I could make a good guess.

  I grabbed the pills and swallowed them dry.

  Taylor watched me, her hair done in perfect curls. She wore one of her safari dresses with stockings underneath. To someone else, she would look like a stupid girl with absolutely no fashion sense.

  To me, she looked like the most beautiful woman in the world.

  “Feel okay?” She crossed her arms over her chest as she stood over me. Inste
ad of taking the seat next to me, she kept her distance.

  “I’m fine,” I whispered.

  “You seem a little pale.”

  “Just dehydrated.”

  “Well, there’s water sitting right there.”

  I ignored it because I didn’t want any. “I’m sorry about last night. Can’t remember everything, but I’m sorry nonetheless.”

  “It’s okay.” She stood her ground then eyed the clock. “I really should get going.”

  When I looked at the time, I realized she’d already missed her first period. “You’re late anyway.”

  “I had a sub come in for my first period. Wanted to make sure you were okay before I left.”

  It was sweet, but stupid. “I’m not okay, Taylor. I’ll never be okay.” I stared at the wall because I didn’t want to see the pity in her eyes. The only thing I wanted to see was love—which was absent.

  She continued to stand there, her bag over her shoulder.

  I rose to my feet and felt the ache in my knees. The couch was way too small for a six-foot guy like me. I looked at her and held myself back from snatching her by the waist and holding on to her forever. “Taylor, I can’t live without you. I’m not just saying that to get you back or to be romantic. I mean it—from the bottom of my heart.”

  Her eyes softened.

  “I’ll spend the rest of our lives making up for what I did. I’ve learned from my mistake, and I’ll never behave that way ever again. I know my behavior was unacceptable and hurtful, but I promise you, I won’t hurt you like that again.”

  She stared at me, her eyes closing off.

  “Baby, please…”

  “Now isn’t the time to have this conversation.” She took a step back.

  “It is the time,” I said. “Because I can’t let you walk out that door until I know I’ve made this right.”

  She kept her arms tight around her chest.

  “You love me. I love you. Let’s make this work.”

  “I don’t believe some of that.”

  “Believe some of what?”

  “I don’t believe you think I love you.” She finally met my look, her gaze cold. “If you believed that, none of this would have happened. If you really trusted me, none of this would have happened. The fact you didn’t just come out and tell me what you were upset about is even more unforgivable. You had so little respect, so little faith that you couldn’t even tell me. Within a snap of a finger, you hated me. That means you never trusted me to begin with. That means you never believed I loved you to begin with.”