Pieces of Me Read online

  She smiled. “Well, thank you.”

  I smiled back. “And thank you.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Clementine

  Ward was very, very angry with me.

  The wedding wasn’t happening in light of Conrad’s breakdown, and Skye and Cayson didn’t straighten out their problems until last week. It would be insensitive for us to have our day in light of all of that.

  But he didn’t see it that way.

  When Ward walked in the door, he was more pissed off than usual. Instead of giving me a loving look then kissing his son he gave me a death threat with just his eyes.

  Man, he needed to chill out.

  He tossed his things near the coat rack then immediately headed to the fridge where he grabbed a beer.

  I was sitting with Ward Jr. on the floor. He was lying on the blanket my mother made for him. It was yellow with elephants on it. A colorful cartoon was on in the background.

  Ward stood there and drank his beer, still managing to glare at me.

  Do I dare ask? “Had a rough day at work…?”

  He finally came up for air. “Guess who’s getting married?”

  “What?”

  “Guess who else is getting married before us?” His eyes were wide and terrifying.

  “Uh…”

  “Roland. Roland is getting married before us.”

  “What?” I was about to jump to my feet but couldn’t leave Ward Jr. on the ground alone. “When did this happen?”

  “Heath is proposing on Friday. We’re meeting at Mega Shake to celebrate.”

  “That’s wonderful. I’m so happy for them.” The two of them had been through a lot and it was nice they were getting their happily ever after. I really liked Heath. He was sophisticated, which was something Roland needed.

  Ward looked like he wanted to scream. “Clementine, what about us?”

  Why was he so obsessed with this? “Ward, calm down. We’ll have our day. It’s just been hectic lately.”

  “Hectic?” he asked. “Well, Roland and Heath obviously don’t think it’s that hectic.”

  “They’re just getting engaged, not married. It’s totally different.”

  Ward gripped his skull like he was about to explode.

  “Don’t raise your voice in front of our son,” I warned.

  “You marry me this weekend or that’s it.”

  What did he just say?

  “You heard me. Marry me this weekend or that’s it. I’m done.”

  “Why are you being such a jerk, Ward?”

  “Because if I don’t put a time limit on this you’re never going to do it.”

  “That’s not true and you know it. I’ve been busy raising our son. You need to calm down, Ward. If you really think I’m procrastinating because I don’t want to be with you then you should leave.”

  The glare didn’t leave his face. “What I said still goes.”

  “You’re being ridiculous.”

  “Is that a no?”

  “That’s not enough time for me to get my dress.”

  “Then you should have been looking sooner. You know, after I asked you to marry me.”

  He was being psychotic. “Two weeks.”

  Ward crossed his arms over his chest.

  “That’s a reasonable compromise. If we do it this weekend it’ll be right after Roland gets engaged and that’s just not tasteful. Two weeks. Okay?”

  He clenched his jaw.

  “I can get a dress and get it altered within that timeframe…if I pay a shit-ton of money. And Mom can plan it, and you have time to invite your family. You want them to be there too, right?”

  His eyes still smoked from the fire.

  “And I want to get something cute for Ward Jr. to wear. Come on, a week is ridiculous.”

  He finally saw reason, somehow. “Two weeks. That’s it.”

  “Okay.”

  “I mean it. I’m sick of referring to you as my fiancé. You’ve been my fiancé for half a year.”

  “Ward, I got it.”

  “And then your dad keeps glaring at me all the time. Like I’m the reason we aren’t getting married.”

  “Who cares what he thinks.”

  “I do,” he snapped. “He’s my future father-in-law.”

  I rolled my eyes. “My dad loves you. Just calm down.” He reminded me of Sean when he flipped out like this. Sometimes I felt like the man of the relationship because I was less emotional than he was.

  “Two weeks.” He held up two fingers.

  “I know how to count.”

  He grabbed his beer again and took another drink.

  “Are you going to say hello to us?” I snapped. “Because your son is looking around because he can hear you but not see you.” I wasn’t making that up. Ward Jr. kept trying to turn his head to find his father. He was partially smiling, like he thought they were playing a game.

  That snapped Ward out of his temper tantrum. “He is?”

  “Yes.”

  Ward put down his beer then joined us in the living room. When he kneeled down to look at our baby, Ward Jr. started giggling and kicking his arms around. Ward smiled wide, like he did every day. “There’s my lad.” He grabbed him with his large hands and lifted him up. “Daddy is home.”

  Ward Jr. giggled again.

  Like a snap of a finger, Ward dropped his sour mood. “Did you look after your mother today?”

  I watched them with a smile on my face, loving their interaction. Ward was invested in his son’s life, and I was grateful Ward was such a family man. He always appreciated us and never took us for granted.

  “This is your favorite cartoon, huh?” Ward asked.

  Ward Jr. just stared at him.

  “It’s like looking at a smaller version of myself.”

  “But smarter and more handsome,” I whispered.

  Ward was too absorbed in our son to care about what I said. “Yeah…exactly.”

  I continued to watch them. “I’m going to get dinner on the table. You guys have fun.”

  Like Ward hadn’t heard me, he continued talking to our son, about anything that came to mind. He told him about work and what he had for lunch. Then he said he missed both of us very much.

  I worked in the kitchen and listened to the beautiful sound, a smile on my face.

  ***

  We got ready for bed that night and placed Ward Jr. in the center of the mattress.

  Ward lay on one side while I lay on the other. My hand played with his small feet, and I watched his eyes grow heavy as he drifted off to sleep. Watching my son was my favorite past time in the world.

  Ward placed a kiss on his forehead. “Such a cock block…but I love it.”

  I chuckled. “He is, isn’t he?”

  “We’re going to need your parents to babysit more often.”

  “No…I love watching him.”

  “I do too but my dick isn’t happy, darling.”

  “When he gets older we’ll put him in a crib in his room.”

  “And we aren’t going to have sex until then?” he asked incredulously. “Poor Slade. He has no idea what he’s getting into.”

  “It’s a little bit of suffering but it’s totally worth it.”

  “Yeah,” he said with a sigh. “I guess.” He leaned over our son and gave me a kiss. “Good night, darling.”

  “Good night.”

  “Love you.”

  “Love you too.”

  ***

  Mom and I walked into the dress shop in Manhattan.

  “I’m so excited we’re getting your dress,” Mom said. She practically screamed when I asked her to come with me. “You lost your baby weight so easily. You’ll look great in anything.”

  “Thanks, Mom.”

  “Do you know what you want to wear?” she asked. “Mermaid? Poufy? Strapless?”

  “Honestly, I’m not sure. I’ll just try stuff on until I like something.”

  “That’s a good plan.”

  A
fter I checked in with the hostess, she set me up in a room and gave me dresses to try on. All of them were beautiful and I was worried about touching them. The minimal amount of oil on my fingertips could destroy them if I weren’t careful.

  My phone vibrated with a message so I checked it.

  It was from Ward. You better be doing wedding stuff today.

  What a freak. I’m trying on dresses as we speak.

  He sent a happy face. Thank you, darling.

  I tried on the first dress and showed Mom.

  “It looks great on you.” She sat beside the stroller where Ward Jr. lay.

  “I’m not a fan of all the lace…it’s just too much.”

  “Yeah, try on the next one.”

  The next hour went on the same way. None of the dresses were ugly, but they weren’t right either. Finally, I tried on a mermaid dress with a sweetheart top. The bottom flared out slightly and had a small amount of sparkle to it. The second I looked at it in the mirror I loved it. It hugged my waist and showed my hourglass figure, and it hid my thick thighs. My legs had never returned to normal after the baby. Ward acted like he didn’t notice but I was a little self-conscious about it.

  When I walked out, I knew my mother loved it judging the look on her face. She looked like she wanted to cry and scream at the same time.

  “Oh my god, it’s perfect.” She clapped her hands and her eyes started to water. “You look so beautiful, Clemy.”

  I stood on the platform and stared at myself in the mirror. I was never vain with my appearance, but I actually loved looking at myself in that moment. My arms and shoulders looked great, and I felt like a princess. I pictured the way my hair and make up would look, and I pictured Ward’s face as I walked down the aisle toward him.

  This was the one.

  “Do you love it, Clemy?”

  I nodded. “I do.”

  Mom peered into the stroller. “Your mother looks so beautiful right now, honey.”

  I didn’t look at the price tag because I didn’t want to know. I never cared about expensive things, but if this dress was expensive I wanted it. I had a savings account and Ward had money but I felt bad spending it on something I was only going to wear once.

  “Are you going to get it?” Mom asked.

  I took a deep breath and looked at the price tag. “Uh…nope.” The price was so extreme I couldn’t even consider it. I would never ask Ward for that kind of money. It was enough to pay for a few years of college for Ward Jr.

  “Let me see.” Mom came to me and checked the tag. “Oh my…”

  I hid my heartbreak. “I’m sure I’ll find something else. There are other dresses out there.”

  “Nonsense. I saw your face when you put this on. I’m getting it for you.”

  “Mom, no. You don’t need to do that.”

  “I insist, Clemy. Your father and I got hitched at the courthouse. But my dress was awesome.” She gave me a smile before she hugged me. “I really don’t mind. I want you to have this. Consider it a gift from your father and I.”

  “Mom…” I didn’t know what else to say.

  “I’m getting this for you. Don’t waste your time arguing.”

  I blinked my eyes quickly to dispel the moisture. “Well, thank you…”

  “Of course, sweetheart. I love you.” She hugged me again. “You deserve to look like a princess on your wedding day.”

  “You’re definitely making me feel like one.”

  ***

  When Ward walked inside he was in a much better mood than yesterday. “How’d it go?”

  “Good.” I was reading on the couch.

  “Did you get a dress?” He took off his jacket and tossed it on the back of the chair like he did every day. I always had to get it dry-cleaned and returned to his closet. He never wondered how it got there.

  “Yep.”

  “Yeah?” he asked. “Tell me about it.”

  “You know I can’t say anything.” I closed the magazine and tossed it on the cushion beside me.

  Ward looked around and realized something. “Where’s Ward Jr.?”

  “My mom is watching him for the rest of the day.”

  He immediately grinned. “Yeah?”

  “She’ll drop him off after dinner.”

  “I’ve always loved your mother.”

  I chuckled. “I know you love her a lot right now.”

  “How much was the dress?”

  “Mom paid for it.”

  “She did?” he asked. “She didn’t need to do that.”

  “Uh…it was really expensive.”

  “Even so,” he said.

  “I tried arguing with her but she wouldn’t have it.”

  “Well, that was very sweet of her.”

  “It was.”

  He came around the couch then scooped me up. “Now enough talking and more kissing.”

  I wrapped my arms around his neck. “We only have a few hours so we better get to it.”

  He rubbed his nose against mine. “That’s exactly what I was thinking.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Conrad

  Apollo and I took a long walk around the park. I only put him on a leash because by law I had to, but I knew he didn’t need one. He always stayed by my side, and when another dog came near he didn’t bark or react.

  I never went on walks before but now it was a daily routine. It was actually nice, even peaceful. I had no one to talk to, and I tried not to say anything to Apollo otherwise people would think I was crazy.

  It was a chilly night and I kept my hands deep in my pockets as I walked. The weather was deepening and the holidays were approaching. I was dreading the arrival of the happiest time of the year. I’d never felt more alone in my life, and I knew I would feel even more alone. Last year, I got Lexie a white gold necklace that she constantly wore. We made love near the fire and laughed about something but I couldn’t remember what it was now.

  Now I was totally alone.

  My break up with Beatrice was bad, but this was a million times worse. I’d never felt such raw pain in my life. My body was in constant agony, and every breath only made me wish I were dead. It was unfair for me to be so stupidly happy only for it to be taken away. It made me wish I were never happy to begin with.

  She ruined me.

  “Whoa, I’m sorry.” A woman crashed into me, and the leashes from our dogs got tangled together. Apollo barked as he tried to move out of the way, and her Doberman growled.

  I wasn’t paying attention because I was absorbed in my own thoughts. I managed to pull Apollo away. “Back down, Apollo.”

  Apollo sat like a statue.

  The woman had to pull her Doberman back. “I’m so sorry. He was running wild and I couldn’t stop him.” She had long brown hair that was pulled back in a stern ponytail. She wore yoga pants with a bright yellow sweater. She was cute, one of those fit chicks that jogged around the park all the time. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine,” I said. “I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”

  “No, it’s my fault,” she said. “I shouldn’t have gotten such an enormous dog.” She chuckled at her own joke. “Down, boy.” Her Doberman finally calmed down but he kept staring at Apollo. “You have a well trained dog.”

  “He’s a police dog.”

  “You’re a cop?” She seemed impressed.

  “Oh no,” I said quickly. “I adopted him. His officer passed away.”

  She seemed even more impressed with that. “That was sweet of you…”

  “Well, my friend adopted him for me, technically.” I didn’t want her to think I was some kind of hero. When I first saw Apollo I didn’t want him. But now I couldn’t imagine my life without him. He was my silent companion that listened to all my problems.

  “Well, it’s still great he has a home.”

  “Thanks.”

  “What’s his name?”’

  “Apollo.”

  “Cool.”

  “What’s his?�
�� I asked, looking at her dog.

  “Sassy.”

  “Oh…”

  “It’s a girl,” she explained. “And she’s sassy just like me.” She laughed at her own joke again.

  “That’s nice,” I said. “Well, it was nice meeting you.”

  She acted like she hadn’t heard me. “I know your dog’s name, so what’s yours?”

  “Conrad. It’s nice to meet you.”

  “I’m Carrie. It’s nice to meet you too.”

  I nodded and started to feel awkward. “Well, have a good night.” I turned away.

  “Conrad?”

  I turned back around, Apollo by my legs. “Yeah?”

  “I’d love to have a drink sometime.”

  Did she just ask me out? I was used to women hitting on me, but they were usually sluts, not regular girls. I didn’t know Carrie very well but she seemed like a good girl, the kind right next door. And I liked her confidence. But then I remembered how broken I was. I was in no place to date someone. My sex rampage taught me that. “I’m flattered, Carrie. But I can’t.”

  “I figured you had a girlfriend,” she said with a shrug. “But I thought I’d make sure.”

  “No, I don’t have a girlfriend,” I blurted.

  “Then let’s go out.” She was forward but not in an easy way.

  “It’s just…it’s complicated.”

  “On and off again relationship?”

  “No.” Why was I telling a stranger this? “I proposed to my girlfriend and she said no. I haven’t gotten over it yet.”

  Her eyes fell in sadness, like she really felt my pain. “Oh, I’m sorry. Did that just happen?”

  “No…it’s been about three months.”

  “That’s a long time.”

  Not when you pressed pause for most of it. “I guess I’m slower than everyone else.”

  “Well, I’d still like to go out,” she said. “We can talk about our dogs. No pressure.”

  “You want to go out with me?” I asked incredulously. “After everything I just said?”

  “We have a lot in common. I lost someone too and I’m trying to get back out there.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry.” I didn’t ask for the details.

  “What do you say?”

  “I…” What did it hurt? It would be nice to spend time with someone other than Apollo. And she knew exactly what place in life I was in. “Sure.”