218 First Hugs Read online

  I wanted every inch to be mine.

  She opened her eyes a few minutes later, her face naturally pretty without makeup. She usually wore a lot of it every time I saw her, heavy foundation and even heavier eye shadow, but she looked beautiful either way. With virgin skin, her eyes looked smaller and her lips less plump, but something about her appearance made me adore her more. She didn’t need makeup to hide her flaws. She only accented all of her already lovely qualities.

  “Morning,” I whispered, feeling my cock grow underneath the sheets.

  She gently stretched beside me, arching her back and pushing her arms above her head. “Morning.” She stuck out her chest in the process, her nipples firming now that she was awake and more exposed to the cool air.

  My eyes immediately went to her breasts, my cock hardening further in response. Sometimes I wondered if my obsession with her was mostly physical rather than emotional, but everything about her turned me on. The fact that she owned her own businesses and was so independent turned me on. Basically, all of her features intensified my attraction to her.

  “You look beautiful first thing in the morning.”

  All the features of her face softened in response, from the closure of her eyes to the fall of her lips. “Thank you.”

  I pulled her leg over my waist and slid my hand to her ass, feeling nothing but skin between us. We made love last night then went straight to sleep. I hadn’t had a passionate relationship like this in a long time. Just a bunch of one-night stands that were good but not great.

  “You look sexy in the morning too,” she whispered. “I like your messy hair and sleepy eyes.”

  “You think sleepy eyes are sexy?”

  “I think they’re sexy since you spent all night sleeping next to me.”

  My fingertips dug into her skin, feeling the tight muscles of her ass. She knew exactly what to say to make me feel like a desirable man.

  “I know I should go home soon, but I don’t want to.”

  “Then don’t.” She could stay here for a week straight, and I wouldn’t be burdened. “I’ve got a shower, food, and clothes. You don’t need anything else.”

  “You make a powerful argument.”

  My hand slid up her soft back until I reached the back of her neck where her hair was. I felt the strands with my fingertips and observed her gentle pulse underneath the touch. I noticed her phone hardly ever went off when we were together. She slept beside me all night, and her boyfriend never wondered what she was doing.

  Disgusted me.

  Because of his stupidity, I was going to take her away from him.

  Idiot.

  “Can I ask you something?” Her hand moved up my stomach to my chest, her favorite feature she loved to touch. Her hands were attracted to my muscles, and she loved to grip on to them whenever we were intimate together.

  Feeling her touch me made me lose my train of thought for a second. “Anything.”

  “So…what’s your love life like? Have you had any girlfriends recently? Any serious relationships?”

  Not really. “No.”

  “No?” she asked. “No elaboration?” She smiled, telling me she wasn’t trying to pry. She was just curious.

  “I haven’t found anyone I like enough to have a relationship with. My life is usually a combination of hookups and one-night stands. I’ve always wanted to get married and have a family someday, but the right woman never walked into my life.” Until now. The second I laid eyes on her, I knew she was different. Something about her made me think of a future with wedding bells and kids, which were things that never had been on my mind.

  She continued to give me that adoring look, with her eyes partially lidded and her lips parted. “So, I’m the only woman you’ve been with for more than a few days?”

  “Pretty much.”

  “I feel special…”

  “You are special.” I kissed the corner of her mouth and pressed my hard-on against her, telling her I wanted her before we got the day started. I wasn’t getting out of that bed and into the shower until I’d pleased her and myself.

  * * *

  At the end of the night, I walked her home and said goodnight on the doorstep. I wanted her to sleep over again, but I didn’t want to apply too much pressure. Things were going well, and I didn’t want to ruin it by being too possessive. “Good night.” I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her in front of the door, giving her something to think about before she went to bed.

  Her arms rested on top of mine, and she gave me a fierce kiss with those plump lips. She kissed me like a woman who loved a man. I knew her embrace wasn’t purely physical, but so much more than that.

  When it heated up in less than two seconds, I knew where it would go unless I behaved like a gentleman. I pulled away because I’d fucked her so much for the past few days that there was no way she wasn’t sore. She was just too classy to say anything.

  “Good night,” I whispered against her mouth.

  “Good night,” she said in return, her hands still resting on my arms.

  I placed a kiss on her forehead before I stepped back and let her walk into the house.

  With a look full of reluctance, she stared at me like she didn’t want to go inside without me. She never locked her front door, so she turned the knob and walked inside. The last goodbye I got was a blown kiss.

  I smiled then walked up the street back to my place. It was on the opposite side of Ocean and on 4th Street. There weren’t many sidewalks in the city, so I walked in the middle of the road, knowing there wouldn’t be any cars after the sun went down. People drove here to enjoy the beach, but once daylight was gone, everyone cleared out.

  My phone rang in my pocket, and I fished it out to answer it. I hoped it was Celeste, asking me to come back and spend the night with her.

  But it was my mom.

  Oh no. I’d been dreading this conversation for a long time, and now it was finally here. I’d planned on calling her on my own, but she beat me to the punch. I took a deep breath before I answered. “Hey, Mom.”

  My mom’s tone was full of the usual happiness she possessed. She was on edge, obviously still uncomfortable by the last memory she had of calling me. “Hey, Blade. I hope I’m not calling too late…”

  Humiliation flooded through me, knowing my mom assumed I was with Celeste at the moment. “No. I don’t usually go to bed until eleven. I’m still a night owl.”

  “Yes, I remember.” She fell silent, either because she didn’t know how to commandeer the conversation or because she wanted me to deal with the burden of the topic.

  Since it was my fault, I stepped forward. “I’m sorry about that phone call last month. When she answered, she assumed you were one of my friends…” Did that make it better? Or was this conversation even more awkward now?

  “That’s okay, Blade. I was just…taken aback.”

  “Yeah, I can imagine.”

  “So…who is this girl?”

  “Her name is Celeste.” My mom asked about my love life sometimes, but she didn’t pry. I knew she wanted me to get married and have kids. My brother didn’t seem any closer to settling down, so she probably thought I was her only hope of having grandkids. Talk about pressure.

  “Will I be meeting Celeste, or is she…just a friend?”

  My mom wasn’t stupid. She knew I slept around. I used to sneak out in high school all the time. Not a lot had changed since then. My hormone levels never dropped off, and I was just as horny now as I was then. “I hope so, but I’m not sure yet.”

  My mom’s tone changed over the phone even though she didn’t say anything. Her pregnant silence was enough. “Does that mean you like this girl, sweetheart?”

  The second she used that term of endearment, I knew she was in a better mood. She was hopeful that I’d finally be in a serious relationship. She didn’t care if Celeste answered the phone that way if she was someone I truly liked. “I do, actually. She’s really cool. She owns a coffee shop here in Carmel.
I met her a few months ago, and we’ve been hanging out ever since.”

  “A few months?” she asked in surprise. “Oh, that’s wonderful.”

  “Yeah, she’s pretty great.”

  “Are your father and I going to meet this woman?”

  I didn’t have a clue how she would feel about that. She might not want to meet my parents until she knew she wanted to be with me. “Uh, I’m not sure yet. We’re still in the beginning phase of the relationship.”

  “A few months is a long intro, and you two seem pretty comfortable with each other…”

  I rolled my eyes when my mom made a jab at me. “We’ll see.”

  “Well, your father and I would love to meet her whenever you’re ready.”

  Like she needed to remind me. “I know. So, were you calling for a particular reason?” Maybe she just wanted to address the elephant in the room and didn’t have anything else to say, but knowing her, she had a few points of discussion.

  “We’re having a BBQ on Saturday. Wanted to know if you’d like to come.”

  “Yeah, sure. I’ll be there.”

  “And Celeste is more than welcome to come as well…”

  I wasn’t sure if I’d even bother asking her. “I’ll pass that along.”

  “Great. Just let me know.”

  “I will, Mom.” During the conversation, I crossed Ocean and approached my house. Now I was standing in front of it and digging my hand into my pocket to find the key. “I’ll talk to you later. I just got home, and I’ve got to pee.”

  “Alright, sweetheart. Love you.”

  My mom said that to me every time we got off the phone. It used to annoy me, but now that I knew Celeste lost her mother, I felt ungrateful not appreciating my mother’s love. “Love you too, Mom.”

  13

  Amelia

  I spent the rest of the day weighing Ace against Evan.

  They were two completely different men, both with great qualities. Ace was the obvious choice because he’d been nothing but wonderful to me since the day we met. When things heated up between us, he was even more kind and gentle. He helped me with the girls without my even having to ask. He was honest, loyal, and trustworthy.

  Evan didn’t have a lot going for him other than the fact that he was the father of my children and my ex-husband. But being married to him for eight years left a permanent mark on my heart that could never be erased. The eight years I spent with him were nothing but joyful. I was happy every single day until he walked out.

  But I also knew he’d changed. When he apologized, he meant it. When he cried in front of me, those tears were real. He understood the severity of his actions and truly regretted the poor decision he made. If he could go back in time and erase his choice, he would.

  I knew that was the truth.

  So I could forgive him and be happy again, probably have a better marriage than I did before, or I could be with the man who wasn’t stupid enough to fuck up in the first place.

  To any objective person, the answer was clear.

  But it was blurry for me.

  I helped the girls with their homework when we came home from school, made dinner, and then got them ready for bed. It was only a matter of time before Evan showed up. He hadn’t told me how his conversation with Rebecca had gone, and even if he didn’t have anything to report, he would still stop by.

  I was sitting on the couch drinking wine in front of the fire when my phone lit up with a text message from Evan.

  I’m outside. Are you awake?

  I wasn’t sure why we had these clandestine meetings sometimes. It was as if he didn’t want the girls to know he had a private relationship with me. Maybe he just didn’t want to get their hopes up if it didn’t work out. They would love nothing more than to have him back in the house every single day.

  I didn’t bother to text him back before I opened the door.

  He was in a black hoodie with jeans, his fair face handsome in comparison to his dark clothing. “Hey.”

  “Hey.”

  After sharing a look with me, he let himself inside and stepped into the kitchen.

  I shut the door and locked it before I looked at him. I wasn’t sleeping with him again, not when I was stuck in this love triangle. I’d slept with Ace, and I probably shouldn’t have done that, but I couldn’t help myself.

  Evan stood too close to me, close enough for a kiss if I wanted to make it happen.

  I stepped back, needing the space. “What’s up?”

  Evan glanced down at my arms and torso, obviously put off by the way I stepped away from him. “I’m sure Bree told you I stopped by her house by now.”

  “Yeah…she mentioned it.” And he told her about my relationship with Ace. I would be mad at him under different circumstances, but since it led to something great with Ace, I couldn’t complain.

  “I didn’t know she didn’t know about Ace…never would have told her otherwise.”

  “I know, Evan.” When I sighed, I released all the pent-up annoyance I had for him. I let it disappear before I looked at him again. “Don’t worry about it. She and I talked it out…and we’re fine.”

  “I’m glad to hear that. Then you must know I took care of Rebecca.”

  I nodded.

  “She won’t bother you again. I promise.”

  I nodded again. “Thanks. I hope she feels better soon.”

  “She’s just having a hard time adjusting to it. She knows we’re trying to make our relationship work. She was intolerant to it, but I explained to her that we were married and we have two kids…we’re a family. I think she’s just too young to get it.”

  I bit my tongue because I wanted to make a jab at her age, but that would paint me in an ugly light, so I didn’t say anything at all. I didn’t get any satisfaction out of seeing her in pain even though she didn’t care about stealing my husband from me. Since I knew how shitty it felt to watch a man leave you, I only felt sympathy for her.

  “But she won’t be a problem anymore,” he whispered.

  “I never said we were working on our relationship, Evan.” I had to make that clear so he didn’t make any assumptions. I shouldn’t have slept with him, but I was making poor decisions at the time because I was miserable.

  “It doesn’t matter. I told her I’m trying to get you back, and that’s definitely true, regardless of how you feel. She knows I want to be your husband again, to live here with the kids again.”

  I stepped back and leaned against the counter in the kitchen, my heart working fast in my chest. I had to tell him about Ace, but now I was dreading it. He was determined to make it work between us, but now he had even more obstacles to overcome.

  “Baby…” He cringed when he realized he said the nickname that I didn’t want to hear. “Amelia…what’s wrong?”

  Ace just called me by that name the other night, and I’d loved hearing it. I loved feeling him inside me, just his skin against mine. I dug my nails into his shoulders as I listened to his hot breaths of pleasure. “There’s something I need to tell you…and you aren’t going to want to hear it.”

  He moved to the counter across from me and crossed his arms over his chest. He stared me down with a stoic expression, refusing to let his thoughts be obvious on his face. “What is it?”

  “Ace came over the other night and told me he had feelings for me…”

  Evan didn’t react.

  “He said he’d had feelings for me for a while. He backed out of our relationship because he thought it was the right thing to do. He assumed I would take you back, and he didn’t want to stand in the way of us being a family.” I couldn’t look him in the eye right away. I had to muster up the courage even though I had nothing to be ashamed of. “But now he says he wants to be with me.”

  Evan’s expression was as cold and hard as ever.

  “So he wants me to choose…”

  The only reaction Evan gave was sliding his hand through his hair. His movements were slow because he was spending most
of his focus on thinking. He sighed quietly under his breath, his voice so low I could barely hear it.

  I wasn’t sure what kind of reaction I expected from him. He wouldn’t be happy, obviously. I just told him I was in love with Ace a few weeks ago. The whole reason why we were screwing was because I was depressed that Ace left.

  “And this is your way of telling me you’re going to be with him now?” He crossed his arms over his chest and wore an ice-cold look. His eyes were narrowed the way they were when he really angry about something. His jaw was clenched tighter than ever before, but the rest of his body was sluggish with defeat.

  “No…I told him I needed to think about it. Ace says he wants a final decision, no going back and forth. He doesn’t want me to be with him, only to change my mind later and come back to you. So, if I want to make this work again, I need to figure it out now. He said he wouldn’t be angry with me if I chose you. We could still be the good friends we’ve always been. But he wants me to really think about it.” I stared at the floor for a moment, no longer wanting to look at the hardness of Evan’s face.

  “So I have a chance?” he whispered.

  I looked up again. “Yeah…you do.”

  He sighed again, but this time it was in relief. “I’m touched that you’re willing to consider me again…after what I did.”

  Most people in the world would think less of me for being so soft, but I couldn’t stop my feelings. I’d loved Evan the moment I saw him, and every day after that. Love like that couldn’t be erased in a year. “I know you’re sorry for what you did. There are plenty of days when I miss being a family, miss being a wife. As much as I try to stay angry at you, I can’t. You’re the father of my girls…”

  He nodded. “I’m a very lucky man. I wish I’d understood that a year ago.”

  Me too.

  “So…how much time do you need to make your decision?”