The Man I Thought I Knew Read online

I shook my head slightly. “I was in the streets of Baghdad, trying to get interviews with people. I had my translator with me. When the soldiers came through, they gave my translator a hard time for helping some stupid American girl. A guy pointed a rifle in his face. I basically took it from him and smacked him upside the head.”

  Dax had never looked so shocked.

  “They left us alone after that.”

  “Why?” he asked incredulously. “Why didn’t they just shoot you?”

  I shrugged. “I think they were a little scared of me, honestly.”

  He shook his head. “I’m surprised you went into that environment with no protection.”

  “I had a bulletproof vest and a pistol on me. I just didn’t reveal it unless I had to.”

  He shook his head again. “You’re a badass chick, you know that?”

  I shrugged. “I may have heard that before…once or twice.”

  A slight smile moved onto his lips.

  I noticed the woman rise out of the booth and head for the door. “She’s leaving.”

  He shrugged and kept drinking.

  I stared at him in surprise. “You let gorgeous women walk out of your life often?”

  That smile was still on his lips. “Not always.” He lifted his gaze and looked at me, stared at me without blinking, like his words implied more than they said. “How are you?”

  I let the topic drop. “Excited for our game tomorrow.”

  “Ready to kick some ass?” Without much change of expression, he could show his amusement, his enjoyment when he spoke to me.

  “That’s all I ever do—kick some ass.”

  He chuckled. “The guys were really impressed by you. They said you’re a great player.”

  “Well, thanks.”

  “But I had a talk with them about being too aggressive with you.”

  I shook my head. “That’s unnecessary. If I want to play like one of the boys, I have to be treated like one of the boys. I can handle an elbow to the face or stomach or being knocked on my ass once in a while. Really not a big deal.”

  “It’s a big deal to me.” He took another drink then looked out the window.

  “Well, that’s sweet.” I’d never met a man so gorgeous and so kind at the same time. He was easy to talk to, easy to connect with. It was the first time I’d had a conversation with a man that was enjoyable without leading to sex. Just being with him…was fulfilling.

  He glanced at his friends at the table. “Looks like they’re hitting it off.”

  I turned when Kat laughed loudly at something Nathan said. “You can join them if you want. I should probably get home anyway.”

  He turned back to me. “I’d rather talk to you. I see those assholes all the time.”

  “I feel like you see me all the time too.” I’d seen him several times that week, and I’d see him tomorrow night as well.

  “Really?” he asked. “I feel like I don’t see you enough.”

  My heart started to ache all over again. Was he purposely making this hard for me? Making me want him even more than I did before?

  He spoke again before I could dwell on what he said. “I think they’re getting along pretty well.” He glanced at Kat again. “Maybe this is the beginning of something.”

  “Is Nathan a playboy? Just looking for a fling?”

  “Not necessarily. If he really likes a woman, he does the relationship thing. So, it just depends on how well he likes her.” He took a drink. “You know, not all men are serial playboys only after one thing. There’re a lot of guys out there who want monogamy, a deep and meaningful relationship.”

  “Not the hot ones,” I said with a laugh.

  He cocked his head slightly.

  “Why commit to one woman when you don’t have to?” I asked. “Men are all the same.”

  He swirled his glass, the scotch spinning around. “I respectfully disagree.”

  “Well, I haven’t met one so…”

  His eyes narrowed, and he stilled his glass. “You’re looking at one.”

  I released another chuckle, assuming it was a joke. “Come on, Dax. I saw that gorgeous woman all over you, and you ditched her without thinking twice about it.”

  He was still for a long while, like he needed time to process what I said. “I literally met her five minutes ago. She was our waitress, and when she got off work, she joined us and bought me a drink. Doesn’t make me a playboy.”

  I wasn’t sure why we were arguing about this. “Just forget I said anything.” I grabbed Kat’s glass and took a drink.

  “No.”

  Now I stilled, unnerved by the authority in his tone.

  “I was a loving and committed husband in my marriage. I didn’t even look at other women. Yes, there were offers left and right, opportunities that never would have made it back to my wife, but I remained faithful because I made a promise. I’m a man of my word. If I say something, I mean it. My fidelity wasn’t just based on loyalty and obligation either. I simply didn’t want to be with other women. I was happy…at the time.”

  Now, I felt like shit. “Dax, I’m sorry—”

  “I know you’ve been burned pretty bad. I get it.” He raised his hand slightly. “But I’m not him. My boys over there—” he nodded “—they aren’t like that either. Not all men are sneaking around in the dark, looking for the next opportunity to be a faithless piece of shit. There are good men out there. I’m one of them. So, I’m not going to sit here and let you stereotype me as some serial pussy-chaser.”

  Fuck, I’d really messed this up.

  “Yes, I fool around, hook up, live the bachelor life. But when I find a woman I really like, I step up.” He grabbed his glass and downed the rest of it in a single drink, his eyes furious.

  “Look…I’m sorry.”

  He wouldn’t look at me. “I’m going to cut you some slack and forget this conversation happened next time I see you.” He turned back to me. “But you need to move the fuck on. You left that piece of shit a year ago, and you’re allowing your entire view of the world to be based on one jackass. My wife was a fucking piece of shit who took me for one hell of a ride, but I know not all women are like that.” He stared at me, nostrils flared, his eyes darker than before. “I know you aren’t like that.”

  I closed my eyes, feeling lower than dirt.

  He slammed his glass down and slid out of the booth. Without saying a word, he walked out and left the bar.

  I sat there, feeling like shit, feeling absolutely terrible. I dragged my hands down my chest, felt the pit in my stomach grow, and then forced myself out of the booth to go after him.

  The guys and Kat all turned to us, knowing something had happened.

  I looked up and down the sidewalk until I saw him, about to cross the street to the next corner. I walked quickly in my heels, not making it through the crosswalk in time and choosing to run the red so I could reach him. “Dax.”

  He stopped when he heard me. He took a breath before he slowly turned around and looked at me, his eyes still angry. His hands slid into his front pockets, and he stared me down.

  I’d been so focused on chasing him down that I didn’t know what to say when I finally caught up to him. “I’m really sorry about everything I said. You’re right. I was being a jackass. I’ve been such a jackass since we met. I…” I took a deep breath and let my eyes fall, feeling vulnerable for the first time in a year. “I really, really like you. I haven’t—”

  His hands slid into my hair as his chest pressed to mine, his mouth landing against mine. In the middle of the sidewalk with people walking by, he kissed me like we were alone in a dark room. His arm wrapped around my back, and he tugged me closer, giving me the best kiss of my life. His masculine hands held me against him, his eager lips made love to mine, and he seized me like I belonged to him.

  He pulled away just as quickly as he’d rushed me. “You want me? Then you better fight for me. Because I’m not going to wait around forever, Carson. Either move on from the p
ast and try with me…or I’ll move on and all we’ll ever be is friends.”

  Fifteen

  Carson

  I sat in the armchair in the living room, holding a beer on my thigh even though I hadn’t taken a drink. Time passed and the evening grew later, but I stared at the blank TV screen, unsure what to do with myself. I had work to do on my laptop, emails to write, a life to live.

  But I was frozen to the spot.

  I kept reliving that conversation over and over again.

  It made me cringe.

  Charlie walked inside, in gym clothes because he must have gone out for a workout. He immediately left his shoes by the door and moved farther into the apartment. “Hey.”

  “Hey.”

  He grabbed a water from the fridge then looked at the contents inside. “What do you want for dinner?”

  “I’m not hungry.”

  He quickly shut the door and came toward me. “What’s wrong?” he blurted.

  I rolled my eyes. “Just because I’m not hungry doesn’t mean there’s something wrong.”

  He sat on the couch and looked at me.

  “But yeah, there’s something wrong.”

  “Carson, what happened?” He was in his black gym shorts and a t-shirt.

  I set the beer on the table and dragged my hands down my face. “I fucked up really bad with Dax.”

  “What did you do?”

  “I ran into him tonight and said some stupid stuff about him being a playboy, all men are playboys, just a lot of stereotypical things, and he got pissed off and stormed off. I went after him, and…he told me I needed to fight for him. Otherwise, he was going to move on.”

  Charlie stared at me for a while, trying to find the words to say. “I think he has every right to be mad—”

  “I know he does. I have been such a bitch since the moment we met.”

  “I wouldn’t say that…”

  “It’s true. And now I feel really terrible about all of it. Because he seems like such a good guy, too good to be true.” I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed. “I have no idea why he likes me. What is there to like?”

  “A lot, Carson. You just need to let go of the past and move on.”

  “I want to…but it’s not that easy.”

  “At least try. Because you don’t want to lose this guy.”

  I shook my head. “No…I really like him.”

  “And he likes you. He wouldn’t have said any of that to you unless he felt that way.”

  “Yeah.”

  “So, what are you going to do?”

  I grabbed the beer and took a long drink. “Ugh, I don’t know. I want to be with him, but I don’t think I’m ready for anything serious.”

  “He’s not asking you to marry him, Carson. Just give him a chance.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Don’t let this guy slip away. He’s smart, funny, kind, sexy…”

  I turned to him, my eyebrow raised.

  “What? He is,” he said defensively.

  I gave a slight chuckle, feeling a little better. “I’m gonna tell him you said that.”

  “I don’t care. I’m secure in my masculinity.”

  I smiled. “You’re cute.”

  “Back to the topic of conversation. What are you going to do?”

  I shrugged. “I’ll talk to him tomorrow…and see what happens.”

  We walked through the double doors and entered the room with the basketball court. The guys were making shots, passing the ball to take turns. Dax was sweaty and shirtless, drop-dead gorgeous.

  Why did I always forget how gorgeous he was?

  We put our stuff on the benches. I was in shorts and a tank top, my hair pulled back in a tight ponytail.

  Matt hadn’t come along because he had work. It was just Charlie and me.

  When Dax realized we were there, he left the court and walked to us, his expression hard to read. He moved to Charlie first and shook his hand. “Hey, man. Where’s Matt?”

  “Got caught up at work,” Charlie said.

  “It’s cool,” he said. “We’ve got enough players.” Dax looked at me next, but he was a bit cold. He didn’t extend any kind of affection.

  Charlie picked up on the hostility and turned away. “I’m gonna go warm up.”

  Dax continued to stare at me, like he expected me to say something.

  Now that we were face-to-face and he was staring me down like that, I lost my confidence and didn’t know what to do other than squirm.

  When he realized I didn’t have anything to say, he gave up and turned away.

  “Wait.”

  He turned back to me, his hands on his hips, a sour look in his eyes.

  “I want to give this a chance…if you still want me.”

  He turned less lethal, his eyes softening subtly.

  “Maybe we can talk after the game?”

  He continued to stare, holding his silence, his hands on his hips, still irate.

  Now I was afraid he’d had a change of heart overnight.

  Then he moved into me, his arms circling my lower back, and he pulled me in for a kiss.

  I didn’t mind the sweat. My arms circled his neck, and I felt the moisture immediately seep into my tank from his bare chest. I kissed him back, grateful for the chance he gave me…when I didn’t deserve one.

  He pulled away and held my gaze. “Ready to kick some ass?”

  I released the breath I was holding, a smile slowly coming onto my lips. The stress suddenly left my body, and I felt free. “Yes…let’s do it.”

  After the game concluded, everyone said goodbye and started to file out. We patted ourselves dry with our towels and drank from our water bottles. Dax shook hands with all the guys who left.

  Then it was just the three of us.

  Charlie glanced back and forth between us, trying to read the room.

  “Dax and I are gonna get a drink or something,” I said, letting him know I was going for it.

  “Cool.” Charlie smiled then gave me a gentle squeeze on the arm. He turned to Dax. “I know this is gonna come up, so I’d rather you hear it from me…”

  I raised an eyebrow.

  “I said you were sexy last night. But, like, in a totally straight way.”

  Dax chuckled. “Thanks for letting me know.”

  “I know Carson will butcher the story, so I thought I would set the record straight now.” He grabbed his water and towel and walked out.

  Dax watched him go before he turned back to me. “I think I’d rather hear your version instead.”

  I smiled as I crossed my arms over my chest. “I was telling him about what happened last night, and he said you were a catch and I couldn’t let you slip through my fingers, basically.”

  “Well, tell him I said he’s sexy too. In a totally straight kind of way.”

  I laughed as I grabbed my stuff. “Alright. I will.”

  We walked out together and left the gym.

  “So, you want to go somewhere and talk?” We were in our gym clothes and sweaty, so stopping by a bar seemed like a bad choice. “Or we can shower at home and meet up somewhere?”

  “How about we skip the conversation altogether?”

  I stared at him, unsure what that meant.

  “You want to have dinner with me tomorrow night? And yes, I’m asking you out on a date.” He stared down at me, his towel over his shoulder, like my response to this question was all he needed to know.

  “Sure. I’d love to.”

  His eyes softened in approval. “Wow…that’s nice.”

  I dropped my gaze in embarrassment.

  His fingers moved under my chin, and he lifted my gaze. “I’ll see you tomorrow, sweetheart.” He pressed a gentle kiss to the corner of my mouth and turned away.

  “Alright. See you then.”

  Sixteen

  Carson

  I got to the restaurant first and sat at the table alone. It was a nice place, with white linens, lit candles, and a small vase of r
oses on the surface. I was in a black dress with my hair curled. It was easy for me to feel confident because I was a naturally secure person.

  But right now, I felt like a wreck.

  My heart was pounding, my ears were ringing, and I couldn’t stop changing my position because I needed something to do, a way to fidget. I ordered a glass of wine for myself and a scotch for him since he ordered for me whenever we met at the bar.

  Then he walked in.

  It was the first time he wasn’t wearing a tee and jeans. He was in a nice collared shirt that fit his sculpted arms well. It was still good on his chest since his body was so broad. He also wore slacks over his muscled thighs. He looked like a million bucks.

  My heart started to race faster.

  It’d been so long since a man had made me feel nervous, gave me butterflies. Or maybe it was just that it’d been a long time since I’d allowed a man to make me feel that way. It’d been so long since I was vulnerable. The last time I’d worn my heart on my sleeve was the day I found out about my husband’s affair. Then the walls were stacked high…and never came down again.

  He smiled as he looked at me, his eyes lighting up in the sexiest way. He came to my chair and leaned down to kiss me, his hand moving to my thigh naturally, giving me a squeeze as he greeted me.

  It happened so fast, I barely had time to take it all in. Then it was over, but my flames still burned.

  He sat down across from me and grabbed his scotch. “Thanks, sweetheart.” He took a drink then licked his lips.

  “You’re lucky I didn’t demolish the bread basket right away.”

  “You didn’t have to wait for me.” He opened the cloth and pushed the basket closer to me. “Come on, you aren’t the kind of woman to wait for anything, and I like that about you.”

  He was so charming. It didn’t seem like he even needed to try. I grabbed a piece and smeared butter on it.

  He took a piece too but skipped the butter. “You look beautiful.”

  “Thank you.” My confidence was weak, and I felt the butterflies grow into fire-breathing dragons. “You do too.”