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  “Uh…I wish I knew the answer.”

  “You really think Silke never gets hit on?” he asked. “I know it happens all the time. When Pike saw her at that art show, he swooped in like rejection wasn’t an option. He fell in love with her at first sight.”

  I didn’t like hearing his name. There was no reason to be jealous but I couldn’t help it. He’d touched her, kissed her, and…did other things. Silke was mine and I felt entitled to her during periods where she wasn’t even mine. It was stupid and I knew it was but it didn’t change the way I felt. “Let’s not talk about him anymore…”

  Ryan smirked. “Really? You’re jealous of him?”

  “Not jealous,” I said. “I just don’t like hearing about him. Let’s pretend he doesn’t exist.”

  He chuckled. “Now I know Silke doesn’t tell you about the guys who hit on her.”

  “And that’s for the best.” If I saw a guy hit on her right in front of me I’d rip his hand off.

  Ryan returned to eating but there was an amused expression on his face. “Can I ask you something? I’m not asking as Silke’s father. I’m asking as a friend.”

  “You can ask me anything, Ryan.” He earned that right a long time ago.

  “When are you going to propose?” He stared at my face and watched my reaction. “Because Lydia is out of the way and Abby is permanently yours. You have your life together and so does Silke. What are you waiting for?”

  “You think I have my life together?” It was so absurd I wanted to laugh.

  “Yes. You don’t?”

  “Abby’s teacher just threatened to dismiss her if I don’t get her grades up. I’ve been a single parent for just a few weeks and I’m already doing a terrible job. I’m so lost and confused, and I have a daughter who’s depressed over losing her mother. I can’t get down on one knee right now.” The last sentence came out harsh in comparison to all the others, but the stress was eating me alive.

  Ryan turned serious when he realized I was truly upset. “You aren’t doing a terrible job, Arsen.”

  I beg to differ…”

  “You’re doing the best you can, and that’s all you can do.”

  “It’s not good enough.”

  “Even though Abby is hurting, that’s out of your control. You can’t make that pain go away. All you can do is remind her that you’re always there. She’ll get through it, Arsen. Just love her and remind her she isn’t alone.”

  “I’m afraid if I marry Silke, Abby will feel replaced. It’s like having a new addition to the family. And since Lydia died so recently…I’m sure it’ll hurt Abby, like Silke is trying to replace her. And then I don’t want Abby to resent Silke for the rest of her life.” I rubbed my temple. “Am I making sense? Or am I overthinking it?”

  “Well, all parents overthink everything. And yes, you’re making perfect sense.”

  I didn’t touch my food because my appetite was gone.

  “I understand your concern but I doubt that will be Abby’s reaction.”

  “But it might be. Abby is going through a hard time and I go off and marry someone…”

  “You were never romantically involved with Lydia so Abby isn’t going to feel that way.”

  “But no one knows for sure.”

  Ryan continued to try and reason with me. “If Abby had never met Silke before, then yes, she would feel that way. But since Silke is already a part of her life she would be happy to officially make her a stepmom.”

  “I don’t know…”

  “Arsen, trust me on this.”

  “Why?” I snapped. “Have you ever been in this situation before?”

  “No. But I know everything.”

  I rolled my eyes.

  “When have I ever been wrong about anything?”

  “That doesn’t mean you’ll never be wrong.”

  “No, I guess not. But I’m a pretty smart guy.”

  “I know you are, Ryan,” I said with a sigh. “But this is my daughter. I have to think carefully before I do anything.”

  Ryan picked at his chips. “You know what you can do?”

  “What?”

  “Talk to Abby about it. See how she feels.”

  “About marrying Silke?”

  “Yeah. See if she’s excited or sad. Maybe that will give you a better idea of what you should do.”

  “I guess I could do that…” I never thought about it before. I’d known Silke longer than I’d known Abby so she felt like my first family. It felt odd asking someone’s permission to officially make her my wife. But Abby was the most important thing in my life. I put her first in every situation, even if it went against what I really wanted. “It wouldn’t hurt.”

  “See?” He pointed at his temple. “I’m gifted.”

  “That’s a bit of a stretch…”

  “Where do you think Silke got her intelligence from?”

  “Her mom,” I said with a laugh.

  He shrugged. “Probably. But she got her street smarts from me.”

  “I don’t know…she dated me.”

  He dropped his amused attitude and became serious. “And that was the smartest decision she ever made.”

  I averted my gaze because the emotion was too much. “I’m buying a house in the city.”

  “You are?” he asked. “Have you decided on one yet?”

  “No but I’m looking. The three of us need more room. And I want Abby to have a yard and stuff.”

  “I think that’s a great idea.”

  “Beginning a new start in a new place is probably the best thing for her. A clean slate.”

  He nodded in agreement. “I think so too.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Sean

  We were releasing a new prototype for the company, and it was guaranteed to make us big bucks. Our researchers, tech support, and analysts did a great job creating new software, geeky gadgets, and technology that made everyone’s lives easier.

  Times like this always sent a bolt of excitement in the air.

  The only downside to this were the interviews. Mike and I were hounded for information about our releases before they were even public. And even when they were public, we still had to talk to the press. Personally, I didn’t like socializing with people I hardly knew. Mike was the same way.

  But it had to be done.

  Cynthia Rogers, a staff writer for People Magazine was coming to my office today to ask me a few questions. I really wish I could just have my spokesperson handle all of this, but my dad told me it was important to be the face of your own company and build your own brand. People were more likely to be interested in your product and invest it in they were personally connected with you.

  It was still a pain in the ass.

  My new secretary, John, spoke over the intercom. “Cynthia is here, sir.”

  “Send her in,” I said. “And call me Sean.” He insisted on referring to me as sir since the day he started working here. I didn’t like the title. It made me sound stiff and pretentious. I was given a name for a reason, and I would rather be addressed as such.

  The door opened, and Cynthia walked inside looking like a typical reporter. A black pencil skirt fit her snuggly and she wore a loose blouse. Sky-high heels were on her feet, and she wore Prada glasses for fashion purposes. “It’s always lovely to see you, Mr. Preston.” She extended her hand across the desk.

  I rose to my feet then gave her a handshake. “Likewise. Can I get you anything to drink?”

  “No, I’m alright.” She sat down and crossed her legs.

  I did the same and rested my hands in my lap. My eyes moved to the picture frame of Scarlet on my desk. I stared at her for a moment before I turned back to Cynthia. I wish Scarlet were here now. She was better at these types of interactions.

  Cynthia caught the look. “How’s the wife?”

  “Beautiful and perfect.”

  “This is off the record, Mr. Preston.”

  Did she think I would say something else otherwise? “Bea
utiful and perfect—on or off the record.” I was unnaturally defensive when it came to my wife and I wish I could control it better.

  She opened her notepad and grabbed her pen. “So, what can you tell me about the new software?”

  I said the lines I’d already rehearsed. I wanted to give away enough information to entice people but not tell them every little thing. A little mystery was always good.

  Cynthia wrote down everything I said and asked me a few other questions, such as pricing and distribution.

  I answered without making it obvious I was bored out of my mind.

  “So, your daughter is getting married?”

  How did she know that? I really hated being a semi-celebrity. People just knew me as the wealthy software guy. But I somehow made it into tabloids and magazines often. I was just doing my job and didn’t deserve any special attention. “She is. In a few months.”

  “This is an exciting time then.”

  “Very.” I wasn’t keen on talking about my family, especially my kids. I tried to keep them out of the spotlight as much as possible.

  “And what of your son, Roland?”

  “What about him?” I asked. “No, he’s not getting married.”

  “He doesn’t plan on working for PIXEL?”

  “He has other interests.” Saying as little as possible was always smart when speaking to a journalist.

  “He spends a lot of time with…” She flipped through her notes. “Heath O’Reily.”

  My heart stopped beating for three whole seconds. I kept a stoic look on my face and didn’t react. My hands were still in my lap, but my entire body tensed. There was accusation in her tone and I caught it.

  “They seem close.” She stared at me like she asked me a question.

  I didn’t care if my son was gay. I didn’t care if my son fell in love with a moose. But the public would have a much different reaction to the news. I didn’t want to put Roland in the spotlight if I could prevent it. He valued his privacy just like I valued mine. “Yes, they are close. Just as I am with Cortland Thompson, my best friend as well as my colleague.”

  She stared at me with those intelligent eyes like she saw something. “They seem closer than colleagues and friends.”

  My heart was beating fast and I was grateful she couldn’t detect it. “Well, they aren’t.”

  “Mr. Preston, is your son gay?”

  The outright question threw me off. She was playing a different type of game. “This is irrelevant to the topic of the interview, and extremely inappropriate.”

  “I think it is relevant. People want to know all aspects of your life, including your family.”

  “That’s too bad,” I said coldly. “Now get out of my office.”

  She remained in her seat. “Are you ashamed of Roland?”

  “No. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.” I was offended by the question.

  “Then why aren’t you telling the truth?”

  “When did I not tell the truth?” I asked. “Refusing to answer the question doesn’t make me dishonest. And you have no right to ask such questions. You have two boys, don’t you?”

  “Yes.” She looked me in the eye as I said it.

  “And how would you feel if I knew one of them was selling drugs on the streets. Would you want to be questioned about it?”

  “It wouldn’t make a difference to me,” she answered. “Because I’m not a celebrity.”

  I clenched my jaw together.

  “Mr. Preston, I respect you. And because of that, I’m going to say something.”

  I kept my anger hidden behind my eyes.

  “Rumors have circled of your son’s…hobbies. I know for a fact people have undeniable evidence of his personal rendezvous. It’s only a matter of time before they find someone willing to pay a high enough price to release it to the public. If I were you, I would divulge the details to me so you can make the first move.”

  I wanted to flip the desk over and scream. “My son’s personal life has nothing to do with this new prototype or this company.”

  “That’s where you’re wrong. It has everything to do with it.”

  I couldn’t believe this was happening.

  “How do you think people will react when you, the idolized family man with values and philanthropic tendencies, reveals he has a gay son? Do you think they’ll be pleased? Or do you think it will ruin your reputation and bring your company to the ground?”

  I stared at her and kept my cool even though I was falling apart inside.

  “I suggest you clean up this mess before it gets public. Get ahold of those photos and tell your son to be more careful. Have him bring a girl around to erase suspicion. Then everything will be fine.”

  My hands shook in anger. “No.”

  “No?”

  “My son will live his life however he wants to live it. I’m not ashamed of who he is or whom he loves. If people no longer believe in my company because of it, so be it. This company could fall apart from underneath me and I wouldn’t give a damn. My family is always first.”

  Awe came into her eyes. “I admire your courage. I think it’s stupid but I admire it.” She flipped the pages of her notebook. “Do what you wish. I just hope you understand how hard this will be.”

  “I’ve had worse.”

  She picked up her pen and held it to the paper. “While I’m here, the magazine would like to discuss something else.”

  “My software?” I asked sarcastically.

  She didn’t seem amused. “Every year we pick the top 100 sexiest men in the media, and our editors have decided that you will be given the honor of sexiest man alive.”

  “What?” I blurted without thinking. She just dropped a bomb on me about Roland, and now she was telling me I was voted the sexiest man alive? I was getting whiplash from the sudden change in topics. “I’m not an actor, musician, or athlete.”

  “Those aren’t requirements. It’s just somebody in the media.”

  “But I’m old.”

  She cocked an eyebrow. “According to your biography, you’re fifty…”

  “And don’t you think that’s a little old to be given that title?” At this point I was just looking for excuses.

  “Not at all,” she said. “Our readers love a real man, and your age is perfect. You don’t look a day over thirty five anyway.”

  This was worst than Roland being in the spotlight. “No.”

  “No?” she asked in confusion. “I didn’t ask you anything.”

  “You offered me the title and I’ve denied it.”

  “It’s not something you can reject,” she said. “We’re going through with the publication regardless.”

  “I haven’t consented to it.”

  “Do you consent to every article ever written about you?”

  I sighed in irritation because I knew she had me.

  “All I can ask for is a photo shoot and an interview.”

  I tilted my head in irritation. “And what are we doing now?”

  “This interview would be much more personal…I know how much you love that.” A slight smile was on her lips. “If you refuse, we’ll incorporate something else and use different pictures, probably the ones from your vacation to Greece.”

  How the hell did they find us there? We were on a yacht in the sea.

  “It would turn out much better if you just cooperated. Besides, it’ll make the readers love you more so when this shit about your son hits the fan you’ll have loyal supporters.”

  “You think I care about that?”

  She pressed her lips tightly together before she spoke. “I’ll give you some time to think about it. I hope you change your mind.” She rose from her seat and packed up her things.

  I clenched my fists in my lap in irritation as I waited for her to leave. Once she was gone, I rubbed my face with the palms of my hands and sighed. “Fuck. Me.”

  ***

  When I came home from work, I threw my briefcase on the couch then immediat
ely headed upstairs to take a shower. I hit the gym after work and I was sweaty and warm. I did a session of boxing because I had the strong urge to hit something.

  Scarlet appeared downstairs. Her arms were crossed over her chest and she didn’t look happy. “Excuse me?”

  I turned around and looked at her.

  “When have you ever walked through that door and not said hi to me?” That fire was in her eyes. I hadn’t seen it many times in our marriage but it was burning now.

  “Sorry.” I rubbed the back of my neck and descended the stairs. “I had a bad day.”

  “Talk to me about it.” When I was within reach, she gripped my shoulders and rubbed them gently, getting right to the sore muscles. Her irritation disappeared and now she just looked concerned. “Was it the interview?”

  She was dead on. “Yes.”

  “What happened?”

  “Two terrible things happened. I’m not sure which is worse.”

  Scarlet didn’t seem worried. She always met confrontation with her head held high and her shoulders back. Unlike most people, she liked to tackle her problems head on. “Whatever it is, we’ll manage.”

  “First, she knows Roland is gay. Apparently, a few other magazines do as well. That information will be out in the open very soon, and she warned it could ruin my reputation as well as the company I represent. She advised me to cover everything up and ask Roland to pretend to be straight.” Remembering the request pissed me off all over again.

  “No.” Scarlet adopted her mama bear attitude. “We are not ashamed of our son and we will not act like we are.”

  “I agree.”

  “Then that’s settled. They can say whatever they want.”

  “It won’t change anything. Even if we get negative publicity over it, whatever. We’ll manage.”

  “People will be hounding you about it, Sean. You need to have a plan.”

  I shrugged. “The truth? Yes, my son is gay. And no, I don’t give a damn.”

  She smiled. “That’s a pretty good slogan. You should probably warn Roland so he’s prepared for all of this.”

  I put my hands in my pockets and sighed. “I’ve always tried to avoid this…but I guess it’s out of my control.”

  “I know how much that bothers you.” She ran her hands down my chest. “But our kids are strong and smart. They’ll handle it just fine.” Even though I was a little sweaty she leaned in and kissed me. “What else?”