Ray of Light Read online

  There was a long pause before he spoke. “Got my flowers?”

  “I did. At first, I didn’t know they were for me. You know, because I used to be a loser.”

  He chuckled. “They were definitely for you.”

  “They are very beautiful. Thank you.”

  “So…you’ll go on a date with me?”

  “That depends,” I said. “Do you want to go on a date with me?”

  “If I didn’t, why would I have asked?”

  “It’s just…I thought you didn’t do that sort of thing.”

  He sighed into the phone like this was a conversation he didn’t want to have. “I don’t.”

  “Then what does this mean?”

  “It means I’m making an exception. There’s something about you I just can’t stop thinking about. When I’m not with you, I want you. And when I have you, I still want you.”

  My nipples hardened.

  “Can I take you out? We’ll do the whole dinner thing.”

  “And getting to know each other?”

  “Yeah,” he said. “And I’ll even walk you to your door afterward.”

  “You will?” Now I couldn’t stop smiling.

  “I’ll kiss you goodnight. Then I’ll go home.”

  “Wow, this is getting serious.”

  He chuckled. “I guess it is. So, you’re free on Saturday night?”

  Was this really happening? Did this hunk of a man really want to take me on a real date? “I am.”

  “Great. There’s this nice place I want to take you.”

  “What happened to hot dogs at the ballpark?”

  “Would you rather do that?” he asked incredulously.

  “Actually, yeah. I’d take ballpark food over fancy stuff any day.”

  He released a sigh of longing. “Baby, you keep getting better.”

  “Did you just call me baby?”

  “I did. And I’m going to keep calling you that.”

  “That’s awfully possessive.”

  “Didn’t you know?” he whispered. “You’re officially mine.”

  ***

  “He asked you out on a date?” Jessie moved around my chair, combing my hair and trimming it without even watching what she was doing. She was the best hairdresser in the business, and everything was second nature to her.

  “Yeah. He sent me flowers and everything.”

  “Wow. He’s really hooked on you.”

  “I guess.” I tried not to smile, but my lips did it anyway.

  Jessie caught the look. “You’re so into him.”

  “I’ve been into him since the first time I saw him,” I said with a sigh. “But I tried to keep him at a distance because I knew he would just break my heart. But now…maybe it could go somewhere.”

  “It is going to go somewhere.”

  “You think?” I asked hopefully.

  “As long as he isn’t doing all of this just to sleep with you again. But that would be really shady.”

  It would be. “No, he wouldn’t do that.”

  “You’re sure?”

  “Yeah. He’s not that kind of guy.” He had a dark exterior and he was rough around the edges, but there was a shining light deep inside his soul.

  “Then this is very exciting.” She finished the trim then gave me a blowout. When she was done making my hair perfect, she turned off the dryer and ran her fingers through my hair. “Why is he like that anyway?”

  “I don’t have a clue.” I didn’t ask, and I didn’t want to know anyway.

  “You think he has some weird issues?” She cringed. “Because he seems…dark.”

  “I’m not sure.” Maybe he just didn’t like to commit to anyone. Maybe he liked to be free all the time. Some men were just like that.

  “Well, he’ll change for you. It’s obvious he’s obsessed. Whatever you got going on down there is heaven.”

  I laughed. “It’s nothing special.”

  “I don’t know…it must be.” She took off the drape covering my body and the hair fell to the floor. “When is the big night?”

  “Satur—shit.”

  “What?”

  “We’re supposed to go out on Saturday, but I just remembered I have dinner plans with Zeke.”

  “Cancel,” she said. “He’ll understand. Anytime there’s a possibility of sex, it’s okay to bail on a friend.”

  “No. I don’t do that.” Zeke had been my friend forever. Guys would come and go, but he would be there for life. That’s not how I treat my friends. “I’m just glad I remembered before I did something stupid. Ryker and I can just go out on Friday night instead.”

  “Seriously, it’s Zeke. He won’t mind.”

  “I don’t blow off my friends for any guy.” I stood up then grabbed my purse from the dresser.

  Jessie smiled at me. “I respect that.” She gave me a high-five. “Alright. That’ll be forty bucks.”

  “Damn, you’re expensive.”

  She shrugged. “I’m the best.”

  “Well, don’t expect a tip.”

  “Then don’t expect another appointment.”

  I chuckled then handed the cash over. I tipped her twenty bucks because she deserved every penny. “Thanks, girl.”

  “You’re welcome. He’s going to love running his fingers through that hair.”

  “He won’t be running his fingers through anything. He said he would walk me to my door, kiss me goodnight, and then leave.”

  “Wow.” Her jaw dropped. “Who knew a beast could turn into Prince Charming?”

  I shrugged.

  “What are you going to do about Rex? Tell him?”

  Ugh, I didn’t even think about that. “Uh…I guess.”

  “He should be fine with it, right? You guys had that talk.”

  “But I told him nothing was going on with Ryker. Now that I’m going on a date with him, it seems like I lied.”

  “Just clarify,” Jessie said. “And everything should be fine.”

  “I just wish I had a normal brother.”

  “Hey.” She pointed at me. “My brother doesn’t care whether I live or die. Be grateful for what you have.”

  “I am. I just wish… I don’t know.”

  ***

  “You come down here a lot.” I was sitting at my computer in the lab, transferring data into my spreadsheet.

  Ryker sauntered closer to me, his hands in the pockets of his suit. Today, it was black with a gray tie. A shiny watch was on his wrist. The hair on his jaw had been growing for the past few days. I wasn’t sure what I liked more, that look or the cleanly shaved one.

  He looked good in anything.

  “I guess I like to micromanage.” He stopped beside my chair. “What are you working on?”

  “Data plotting. It’s my favorite part.”

  “Why is that?”

  I patted the armrests of the chair. “Because I get to sit.”

  He chuckled. “You can’t do that when you’re getting your hands dirty.”

  “Nope. Too inconvenient.”

  He stood there like he had nowhere else to go.

  “I wanted to talk about our date on Saturday.”

  “Me too,” he said. “If you want to wear a short dress with heels, I’m perfectly okay with that.”

  I rolled my eyes even though I didn’t mean that. “I’ll be in jeans, a t-shirt, and a ball cap—just so you know.”

  “You’ll still look sexy.”

  Now I tried not to smile. “Anyway, I actually already have plans on Saturday. Can we go out on Friday instead?”

  “What plans do you have?”

  “Zeke and I are hanging out.” How could I have forgotten? In the heat of the moment with Ryker, it slipped my mind.

  Ryker didn’t move or say a word, but his eyes filled with unspoken fire. “You and Zeke?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You’re going on a date with him?” His voice didn’t increase in volume, but his tone was blowing out my eardrums.

  “
No, we’re just hanging out. Ryker, I have guy friends. This jealousy thing is really annoying. Just to warn you, I won’t put up with it. I suggest you let it go.”

  “I would if he didn’t have feelings for you,” he said coldly.

  Now he was being ridiculous. “Knock it off. He doesn’t see me as anything besides a friend—maybe a sister.”

  “Are you being serious right now?” he asked. “You really don’t see it?”

  “See what?”

  “The way he looks at you. The way he touches you whenever he gets a chance.”

  “Friends touch each other.” This entire conversation was stupid. “I’m not going to change my relationship with Zeke or stop spending time with him. If it really bothers you that much, then we shouldn’t see each other.”

  He held my gaze without blinking.

  “I’m not kidding, Ryker. My friends are everything to me. They are my family.”

  He finally turned away and rubbed the back of his neck slowly. “Fine.” The note of finality in his voice told me he was being sincere.

  “Thank you.” Now that the argument was over, it was tense between us. “Besides, I thought he was your friend.”

  “He is,” Ryker said. “We were pretty close in high school.”

  “Then you know he’s a good guy. I don’t have to vouch for him.”

  He was quiet for so long that it seemed like the conversation was over. “All’s fair in love and war.”

  ***

  I decided not to tell Rex about Ryker until after the date. Maybe we would spend real time together and realize it would never work. Why get my brother worked up over something that might burn out the moment it was lit?

  Fortunately, Rex was working at the bowling alley that night, so I didn’t have to worry about the two of them crossing paths. I wore exactly what I told Ryker I was going to wear, and when he picked me up, he looked me up and down and smiled.

  “Sporty Spice.”

  I chuckled. “Yeah, I guess that’s the look I’m going for.”

  “Well, I think you look pretty cute.” He grabbed the bill of my hat and lifted it slightly so he could get a better look at my face. “So…do I have to wait until the end of the night to give you that kiss?”

  If he kissed me now, we would just go into my bedroom and get busy. “What would a true gentleman do?”

  His eyes darkened in disappointment. “I don’t remember claiming I was one.”

  “But tonight you are, right?”

  He readjusted my hat on my head. “Unfortunately.”

  I locked the door behind me and walked with him.

  “Rex isn’t home?”

  “He’s working.”

  “So, he was cool with this?”

  “Uh…I didn’t tell him.”

  Ryker stopped walking. “Why not?”

  “I’d just rather wait until the last possible moment.”

  “Because?”

  “It’s hard to explain.” Rex and I had an unusual relationship, but that was because we had such an unusual childhood. No one else understood it but us.

  “So, am I a dirty secret? Because I’m okay with that if we’re getting dirty.”

  “No, you aren’t a secret,” I said. “I’ll tell him later.”

  “When’s later?”

  “I don’t know…tomorrow.” Or maybe not.

  “I have to say, I’ve never met a pair of siblings like the two of you.”

  “I’m sure you haven’t.”

  We headed to the street and reached his car.

  “The Bat Mobile.”

  He stopped and looked at me. “Did you just call my car The Bat Mobile?”

  “Well, it reminds me of it.”

  He chuckled then opened the door for me. “Baby, you keep getting better.”

  ***

  “That’s the biggest hot dog I’ve ever seen.” Ryker eyed the chili dog in my tray. It was the monster size, full of chili, cheese, peppers, and onions.

  “I didn’t eat anything all day so I could enjoy this.”

  “I’m just surprised you can fit that thing into your mouth.”

  “It’s tough at first, but I eventually get it in.”

  His eyes immediately darkened.

  I didn’t realize how that could be taken until I already said it.

  We were sitting in the second level of the bleachers. Since it was a Friday game, the crowd wasn’t as big. And we got pretty good seats for dirt-cheap. Ryker wore jeans and a t-shirt, and his nice arms were noticeable.

  I lifted the hotdog and got it into my mouth. I had to take a big bite because if I took little ones, the whole thing would fall apart. There was a specific art when it came to consuming a ballpark hot dog.

  Ryker watched me the whole time, examining every move I made. Silently, he watched me eat the entire thing, from one end to the other.

  “Damn, that was good.” I wiped my mouth with a napkin and felt the burn of the peppers.

  Ryker adjusted the front of his jeans. “That was just mean.”

  “What?”

  “You want me to be a gentleman, but you put on that little show? That’s like waving a treat in front of a dog even though you know he can’t have it.”

  “I’m sorry you misinterpreted everything. I was just eating my dinner.”

  “You’re the biggest tease I’ve ever met.”

  “Am not.”

  He stared forward and watched the game. “Whatever.”

  I leaned toward him and moved my hand up his thigh. My lips slowly moved to his ear, and I pressed a kiss against the shell. “I can’t wait until I have you in my mouth. I’m sure you’ll taste much better than that chili dog.” I slowly pulled away, taking my hand with me.

  His breathing changed, increasing in pace. When he looked at me, there was a whole new expression on his face. It looked like he wanted to grab me by the back of the neck and drag me out of there.

  “Now, that was a tease.”

  He flared his nostrils then growled.

  “Did you just growl at me?”

  “Yes, I fucking did.” He grabbed me by the back of the neck and yanked my lips against his. The kiss was hard, practically violent. He crushed his mouth against mine and silently told me all the things he wanted to do to me. He sucked my bottom lip with perfect precision before he pulled away. “This gentleman thing is getting old.”

  “Technically, I never asked you to be a gentleman.”

  He eyed my lips for a full minute before he met my gaze. “But you asked for something more.”

  When I looked into those beautiful green eyes, I knew I was slipping away. I wanted more—a lot more. I’d successfully kept my heart locked away for so long, but now the seal on my chest was cracked. “That doesn’t mean we can’t get dirty too…”

  He leaned close to me like he was going to kiss me again. Instead of pressing his lips to mine, he rested them against my ear. He took a deep breath like he was battling something deep inside himself.

  I wasn’t sure what he was doing, but I liked being this close to him. It was intimate affection without kissing or touching.

  “We’ll get so dirty,” he said. “Filthy, actually. But we’ll keep tonight holy—this one time.” He kissed my ear, and I could hear the sound of his lips and his tongue. He pulled away, his dark eyes still on me.

  The fact he wasn’t giving in just made me want him more.

  And I didn’t even know that was possible.

  ***

  Ryker drove back to my apartment. The radio wasn’t on, and only the sound of his powerful engine could be heard in the car. All the lights of his dashboard shined and illuminated his face.

  I stuck to my side of the car and tried not to think about his naked body on top of mine. All I wanted was to roll around with him, to feel the sheets cling to the sweat on my back. Heat, passion, and lust consumed me. But since I wasn’t getting laid tonight, I had to stop thinking about it.

  Ryker kept his eyes on the road bu
t discreetly grabbed my hand. He did it so smoothly, it was like he didn’t do it at all. His large hand cupped mine. His strong pulse could be felt through my fingertips. Heat flushed through my skin, making me think about those sticky sheets again. “Thank you for going to the game with me.”

  “Thank you for taking me.”

  His eyes were glued to the road but I knew they wanted to look at me. “No more pimping me out to your friends, alright?”

  I smiled. “Okay.”

  “Because neither one of them is my type.”

  “How is that possible?” Jessie was a brunette and Kayden was a blonde. And they were both stunning.

  He shrugged. “I guess I only have one type at the moment.”

  Like a schoolgirl, I blushed. Thankfully, it was dark in the car so my embarrassing reaction couldn’t be seen.

  “No more dates.”

  “This is already exclusive?” I wanted to be exclusive, but I was surprised he demanded monogamy first.

  “We’re dating, aren’t we?”

  “That doesn’t necessarily mean you don’t see other people.”

  “Well, I don’t want you to see other people. I’m guessing you don’t want me to see other people.”

  Not even a little bit. “No.”

  “Then that’s settled.” He pulled off the freeway and made it to the city streets. “How’s your mom?”

  The unexpected question caught me by surprise. I wasn’t even aware that he knew who my mom was. “Uh…she’s been gone almost ten years now.”

  Ryker didn’t react overtly, but after a few seconds, he released a quiet sigh. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

  “It’s okay.”

  “Rex never mentioned it.”

  “She passed away after you moved to New York. That’s probably why you didn’t know.”

  “What happened? If you don’t mind me asking?”

  It was a sad story, and I didn’t like telling it. “She struggled with depression for a long time. My dad left us when we were young, and she never recovered from it. One day, we came home and found her on the floor with an empty bottle of painkillers beside her.”

  “Shit,” he whispered. “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay,” I said. “Rex was eighteen and I was fifteen. Since he was a legal adult, he became my guardian and took care of us. It was difficult because he didn’t know what he was doing. Until that point, he was enjoying his freedom and doing whatever he wanted. We struggled for a long time.”