Lover's Road (Forever and Always #11) Read online

  The last thing I wanted to do was see Diane. Blah. I had enough of my own problems to pay her a visit. But when Andrew looked at me with those hopeful eyes, I couldn’t refuse. Despite everything Diane did, he still loved her and cared for her. It was astounding. “Of course.”

  He smiled. “I knew you’d say yes.”

  “Because I love you.”

  He pulled me in for a hug and patted me on the back. “And because you love Sean.”

  “That, I do.”

  Andrew kissed my forehead before he headed upstairs. “Let me know how she’s doing.”

  “I will.”

  “Thank you, Scarlet.” His footsteps thudded against the stairs as he headed to his room.

  I stayed in the living room, dreading the favor he just asked of me. I wished I had a backbone and just said no. I was always mediating other people’s problems and taking over the reins. Sometimes I just wanted a break.

  11

  Ryan

  She wants you to go home.

  I looked at the text Scarlet sent me. Apparently, my sister paid her a visit. What did she say?

  You should talk to her yourself.

  I put my phone away then stayed in the shop. I watched cars drive back and forth through the window. I promised Janice I would be home every night and I was breaking that oath by staying her.

  But I was fucking pissed.

  I decided to head back to the apartment because I needed to change my clothes. I wasn’t going to wear this damn suit tomorrow. It was a miracle she got me to wear one to begin with.

  When I walked into the apartment, all the lights were off. The only illumination was the light from her laptop. She sat at the kitchen table, glaring at me in the darkness. The disapproval and anger were heavy in her eyes. That made no sense to me. She was the one who was pressing her tits against her boss’s chest.

  She crossed her arms over her chest and looked at me. “You almost broke your promise.”

  “And you already broke yours.”

  I saw the anger shine in her eyes. “Excuse me?”

  “Are you fucking him?”

  She jumped to her feet. “I thought a few hours would be enough for you to pull your head out of your ass, Ryan.”

  “Are you?” I demanded.

  “I shouldn’t even have to answer that.”

  “And I shouldn’t even have to ask that.”

  Now she was just pissed. “I’m not a cheater and I’m not a liar. You’re so paralyzed by jealousy that you can’t even think straight.”

  “I know what I saw, Janice.” I never used her name. It was always a nickname. But that shit was over. “The relationship between you was absolutely unprofessional. I’m surprised you didn’t manhandle him when you introduced me—as Ryan—not your boyfriend.”

  “He already knew you were my boyfriend! I talk about you all the time. The fact that I didn’t have to give you a title is pretty powerful.”

  “Whatever,” I snapped. “Make your excuses. I’ve never felt more uncomfortable. Seeing you practically throw yourself at him was a stab to my gut.”

  “I wasn’t flirting with him.” Her eyes breathed fire.

  “Who the fuck splits a piece of cake over lunch?” I demanded.

  “Cortland and Scarlet,” she snapped.

  “Who fucked like animals.” I gripped my hair. “Not helping, Janice.”

  “You need to calm the hell down and get over yourself, Ryan. If I said I didn’t cheat on you, I didn’t. Why would I act that way right in front of you if something was going on? You’re contorting friendly gestures into invisible signs of love and lust.”

  “No. I know what the fuck I saw. And I can’t believe you would treat me like that. I thought you loved me.”

  “I do,” she said. “Clearly.”

  “Clearly not. If I saw Sean act that way when Scarlet wasn’t around, I’d rip his head off. I’m not kidding.”

  “Stop comparing us to Sean and Scarlet,” she snapped. “We are far more compatible and trusting of one another than they’ll ever be. We claim they are meant for each other, but not like you and I are. So don’t throw that away by acting like an ass.”

  “Stop acting like a whore and I will.”

  She clenched her fists and breathed through her anger. She was about to explode. “Ryan, don’t push me.”

  “Push you?” I asked incredulously. “You’ve pushed me so far that I’m about to walk out that door and never look back.”

  A death threat was in her eyes. “If you walk out that door we’re done forever. I mean it. Don’t call my bluff. You’re lucky I’m still here trying to work this out with you.”

  “What?” I laughed because it was so idiotic. “I’m the lucky one? I deserve to be treated like that?”

  “I have a friend that happens to have a penis between his legs. Get. Over. It.”

  Now that pushed me over the edge. “Fine. I’ll hire a slutty tattoo artist. We can both play that game.”

  “Not the same thing,” she said through her teeth.

  “It’s exactly the same fucking thing.”

  She shook her head. “I’m done talking to you. I feel like I’m speaking to a child.”

  “Quit.”

  “What?”

  “Quit your job,” I demanded. “And then, maybe, we can work out this relationship. There’s no way I’m letting you go back to work when that guy is eye-fucking the shit out of you all day.”

  “Excuse me? You don’t tell me what to do.”

  “I think I just did,” I said like a smartass.

  “No.” She held her ground.

  “No?”

  “Fuck you, Ryan. I’m not going to be bossed around by you. Accept me as I am or leave.”

  I stared her down, threatening her with my eyes. “I told you to quit. How can you expect me to be okay with you working with him every day?”

  “You mark girls’ vaginas and I don’t ask you to quit. I’m sure they throw themselves at you on a daily basis and I’ve never asked you to quit.”

  “Not the same thing!”

  “Yes, it is, sexist pig.”

  I gripped my skull again. “I mean it! I’m not fucking around.”

  “Cal is just my friend, and only my friend. He doesn’t eye-fuck me and he doesn’t see me like that. You’re making all this shit up in your head because you’re threatened by him. So no, I’m not doing shit for you.”

  If I were less of a man, I’d slap her across the face. I didn’t like not getting what I wanted. “How do you expect me to be in this relationship when you’re acting this way?”

  “I did nothing wrong. If you can have girlfriends, I can have guy friends.”

  I was so frustrated, I wanted to scream. “You can have guy friends as long as you aren’t rubbing your tits all over them.”

  “I’ve never done that.”

  I turned around. “I can’t do this anymore.”

  “Neither can I.”

  “Quit your job or this relationship is over.” I couldn’t see her but I could hear her, breathing loudly.

  “No. If you want to end this relationship, then walk out, Ryan. I’m not stopping you. And I certainly won’t chase you. But keep in mind, a girl worth waiting for doesn’t wait for anybody. It’s your call.”

  I wanted to walk out and tell her to fuck off. I wanted to take all my shit and get my own place. I wanted to break her heart then piece mine back together. But I stood still, unable to move. I loved this girl so damn much and I hated her for it. Her presence alone glued me to the spot. She wasn’t willing to meet my demand, so I should leave her. That’s what I should do. But like a pathetic excuse for a man, I didn’t move.

  “Now get your ass to bed.” She grabbed her laptop and stormed into the bedroom.

  After several minutes of internally berating myself, I walked into the bedroom then got ready for bed. Janice was already under the covers, lying on her side. I got beside her but didn’t touch her.

  �
��Janice, did you cheat on me?”

  Silence echoed.

  “It hurts me that you even asked me that.” Her voice was a whisper.

  “And it hurts I had to ask.”

  We left for work at the same time. Nothing was said for the entire morning. We normally had sex as soon as we woke up but neither one of us made a move for it. She downed her coffee then headed out the door. I came beside her, not looking at her.

  When we made it to the street, I waved down a cab. Her bag was over her shoulder, and she stood in nude pumps. A champagne pink dress reached her knee. Her hair was pulled back in a slick ponytail. I was annoyed she looked so damn hot. And the fact I was hard as a rock didn’t help.

  We got inside then sat in silence. I felt so distant from her, like I hardly knew her. She seemed just as put off as I was. Her eyes were glued out the window, more interested in the world around her than me. I ignored her with equal intensity.

  The cab stopped when we reached her building. It was one of the nicest skyscrapers in the city. That annoyed me even more.

  Janice turned to me and waited for me to embrace her, to kiss her good bye like I usually did. I couldn’t leave her but I couldn’t be affectionate either. I kept my eyes glued forward and pretended she didn’t exist. She sighed then left the cab, slamming the door behind her. I was tempted to look at her ass as she walked into the building, but I was too stubborn.

  When I was at the shop, I got straight to work. A client made a reservation a week ago, and specifically requested me. I did artwork but not as often as I usually did and I missed it. She wanted a pink octopus on her back, the tentacles reaching out. I thought it was pretty bad-ass. It took up most of my afternoon, and even then, it wasn’t finished. We’d have to continue during another session.

  By lunchtime, I was consumed with thoughts of Janice. I was pissed at her and wanted an apology. More than anything, I wanted her to admit she was wrong. That didn’t seem likely.

  Cortland came into the shop, his hands in his pockets. “Hey, man.” He gave me a close look. I could tell he knew about all the drama with Janice.

  “I’m not in the mood for lunch,” I said bluntly.

  He nodded. “Scarlet said it was bad. Did you go home last night?”

  “I did.”

  “Did you work it out…?”

  “Not really.”

  Cortland leaned against the counter.

  “She insists she didn’t do anything wrong. That I’m the one being an immature asshole. Fucking bullshit.”

  “Was she really all over that guy?”

  “If you didn’t know she was dating me, you would have assumed they were a damn married couple.”

  “Yikes,” Cortland said. “Monnique accepts my friendship with Hazel, but it would be a different story if I flirted with her and touched her.”

  “A very different story,” I said darkly.

  “What are you going to do?”

  “I have no fucking idea.”

  Cortland tapped his knuckles on the counter. “She’s just going to keep working there?”

  “I threatened to leave her if she did.”

  “And did she…?”

  “Yep.”

  “So, it’s over.”

  “No,” I said with a growl. “I’m a fucking pussy and I can’t leave her. I don’t get it. She was totally out of line but I’m still hooked on her.”

  “Now you know how I feel toward Monnique. Maybe it’s because you know, deep inside, that she only loves you.”

  “But I don’t know,” I hissed. “I don’t fucking know. I want a woman who can keep her hands to herself and not flirt with her boss. She was always that way, but as soon as she started this new job, she completely changed our relationship. I hate it.”

  Cortland gave me a sympathetic look. “Have you talked to her?”

  “Not really. We yelled at each other for an hour then went to bed.”

  “Have sex?”

  “No.”

  “That’s a first…”

  “Yeah,” I said with a sigh.

  “Well, if you aren’t going to leave her, maybe you should try to reconnect.”

  “I want an apology,” I said firmly.

  “If she doesn’t think she did anything wrong, you’re never going to get one.”

  When I thought about her seeing Cal at the office it made me sick. “I wonder if they are getting lunch now.”

  “Go find out.”

  “What?”

  He shrugged. “She’s your girlfriend. You should be able to drop by whenever you want, right?”

  “She’ll be pissed at me if I make a scene.”

  ‘Then don’t make a scene.” He tapped my shoulder. “Just don’t be a girl about it, okay?”

  “You’re one to talk,” I jabbed.

  “I admit I’m pussy-whipped over Monnique. But I still had the balls to turn her down when she wanted me back. You couldn’t even follow through with your threat.”

  That was embarrassing.

  Cortland continued to smirk at me, knowing he proved his point.

  “Get the hell out of my shop.”

  He laughed. “You going down there?”

  “I might.”

  “Yes, you are.” He tapped the counter then walked out.

  I wasn’t sure what I expected to find when I walked into the office, but I felt compelled to go anyway. I wanted to make sure Cal knew she was mine. Because she was mine.

  When I walked into the building, I took the elevator to her floor. My heart raced in my chest and my palms were sweaty. I was wearing dark jeans and a plain t-shirt, nothing fancy. I always dressed casual everywhere I went. It probably wouldn’t be good enough for these pretentious assholes.

  I walked passed the secretary’s desk like I belonged in the building. I didn’t want Janice to be warned I was coming. A part of me thought I’d catch her getting fucked in her office by that piece of shit. The other part prayed I was totally wrong.

  Rows of cubicles showed people working. Phones rang and the sound of a punching keyboard came to my ears. A table in the rear held coffee and snacks. People chatted to one another over the walls, talking about manuscripts and grammar. Totally boring. I kept walking until I noticed a few offices against the wall. They held windows that showed the view inside. When I spotted Janice in her pink dress, I headed her way.

  Without knocking, I walked inside.

  She flinched when I burst into her door. She turned her gaze on me, which was completely unreadable. If she was angry, I didn’t know. If she was shocked, I had no idea.

  The desk had a few pictures littered across the surface. There was one of she and I at Scarlet’s wedding, and another one of us sitting on the couch at the old apartment in Seattle…and another one. I was everywhere.

  Janice watched my face while she remained in the chair. “Why are you surprised?” Her voice was cold. “It’s pretty redundant to state you’re my boyfriend when it’s pretty damn clear that you are.”

  I met her gaze and put my hands in my pockets. “You want to get lunch?”

  “Not really,” she said coldly. “The only reason you’re here is just to check on me when I least expected it. So what did you hope to find? Me giving Cal a blow job? Him taking me right across this desk?” The ferocity shined in her eyes. “I’m home at the same time every single day, and when I do go out, I’m with Monnique and Scarlet. When would I have time to sneak around and get some on the side?” She shook her head slightly. “I can barely keep up with you pounding me three times a day. You think I need more?”

  I swallowed the lump in my throat.

  “So, if you’re here just to check on me, get the fuck out.” She turned back to her computer and typed an email. She pretended I wasn’t there.

  “You have a nice office.”

  “Thank you. I worked for it.”

  Another jab sent my way. “I never said you didn’t deserve it.”

  “But I got it sucking Cal’s cock, right
?”

  Fuck, I was getting sick of her saying shit like that. I hated imagining her with anyone but me. “Shut your mouth.”

  Her eyes widened. “You can dish it out but you can’t take it. Don’t accuse me of cheating on you if you can’t handle it.”

  “I want to get lunch,” I said firmly.

  “Too bad. I already have lunch plans.”

  I knew exactly with whom. “Cal?”

  “Yep.” She said it without embarrassment. “He’ll be here in a second so I suggest you get out.”

  “You’re kicking me out?”

  “You’re just here to harass me. I don’t need that right now.”

  “And I don’t need you hurting me like this.”

  For a second in time, her eyes softened. But the sympathy vanished quickly. “Whatever pain you feel is being caused by yourself, not me. I’m in this relationship completely even if you don’t think so. Even now, when you’re being nothing but an asshole, I’m still here a hundred percent. If I didn’t love you so much, I’d already be gone.”

  “Doesn’t seem like it,” I said bitterly.

  A knock on the door echoed in the room. Then it opened, revealing Cal in his expensive suit and even more expensive shoes. “Ready for some grub?”

  “Yes.” She flicked her hair and stood up, making my heart accelerate. Her curves were endless and her posture was perfect. When I looked at Cal, he was eyeing her dress.

  Fucker.

  Cal’s eyes flashed in recognition when he saw me. “Hello, Ryan. It’s nice to see you again.”

  I didn’t speak. I just glared at him.

  Janice threatened to end my life with her eyes. “Ignore Ryan. He’s under the weather today.”

  “Oh.” Cal turned to her. “Did you already have lunch plans with him?”

  “No,” she said quickly. “Let’s go.”

  “Yes, she did,” I said firmly. “Her boyfriend would like to take her our for a meal. That is, if you stop hogging her.”

  Janice looked like she might kill me.

  “My apologies,” Cal said quickly. “Why don’t we all go together?”

  “He’s fine,” Janice said quickly. “Let’s go.”