Here and Now (Forever and Always #13) Read online

  She gave me a playful look then dropped the robe. She was wearing a black push-up bra and crouch-less panties.

  My mouth dropped. I looked like a dumbstruck idiot. “So pissed…”

  She came around the desk then came into my lap. She still wore her heels, making the ensemble perfect. “I’m so sorry, husband.”

  “You better be.”

  She played with my jeans until she lowered them, along with my briefs. She didn’t need to do anything to get me hard. It happened the moment she walked through the door. I didn’t even need to look at her to be excited. Her long brown hair fell over one shoulder and carried the scent of roses. I recognized the scent. I knew every feature and touch of my wife like I knew my own. She was the blood in my veins, the air in my lungs.

  Scarlet gripped my shaft and massaged it aggressively. “I know we’ll last forever.”

  She wasn’t talking dirty, but it was making my cock twitch. I liked hearing her say that. “You’re the only woman I’ll have as long as I live.” I meant those words. She could die tomorrow and I’d wander this earth alone until I died. I just hoped I had a few kids with her before that happened, something to carry on her legacy.

  She rose on her heels then gripped the back of my chair. Like a pro, she lowered herself down then took me slowly, moving all the way inside. She bit her lip and moaned while I stretched her. I thought I was going to come then and there because she was so sexy. Her tits were in my face and I felt her hair on my neck. My hands moved to her hips and I helped her bounce up and down. Having a gorgeous woman ride my dick like this was heaven.

  Scarlet pressed her face to mine and emitted musical sighs, enjoying me as much as I was enjoying her. When she bit her lip, I knew she was trying to be quiet. Having my dad in the house had its drawbacks.

  She tilted her head back and gripped my shoulders, moving me into her hard and fast. I loved watching her come, especially since I was the reason why she was having an explosion between her legs. It made me shatter underneath her. I pressed my face into her chest and squirted deep inside her, loving every damn second of it.

  I held her for a moment while I caught my breath. I loved feeling her in my arms. When we had quiet moments like these, I knew it was us against the world. She was my partner in crime, through the good and the bad. I really couldn’t have found a better woman to share my life with.

  She grabbed my face and gave me a gentle kiss. “We’re okay?”

  I nodded.

  “Okay.”

  I stood and kept her in my arms. While I walked out, I flicked off the lights then carried her to our bedroom down the hall. We got into bed and set the alarm, immediately snuggling together. She was on top of my chest, exactly where she belonged.

  “Baby?”

  “Hmm?”

  “I know you said you wanted to wait to have kids, but I don’t agree with that.”

  She stilled for a moment. “Why?”

  “Life passes us by. We shouldn’t stop living because things come up. If it’s not Ryan’s wedding, it will be Cortland’s. And if it isn’t their’s, it’ll be something else. I’ll be stressed at work, or Ryan and Janice will be having their first child so you want to wait so you don’t steal the attention from them. It’ll be something. I just think we shouldn’t make our choices depending on the lives of others.”

  Scarlet stayed on my chest but didn’t say anything.

  “Just think about it, baby. That’s all I ask.”

  “Does this have anything to do with your parents’ divorce?”

  I moved my fingers through her hair. “Life is too short to wait around. You never know what might happen.”

  “Just because they got a divorce doesn’t mean we will.”

  “If my dad gave up, then that means any relationship can fall apart.”

  “You’re right,” she whispered. “But not ours.”

  10

  Mike

  Kissing Laura was…weird. I didn’t do anything wrong, but I still felt like I betrayed Cassandra in some way. We were on week seven of post break-up and I still felt committed to her. I was so lame.

  Getting laid was probably the best thing for me right now, but I just couldn’t be with someone else. I knew Cassandra wasn’t coming back, but what if she did? What if she missed me and I had to tell her I slept with someone else so quickly? It would hurt her.

  Laura threw herself at me on a shiny platter but I still had to walk away. When I slept with her last time, she was good, better than most. I didn’t have any complaints. Wordlessly, she responded to my moves and met my thrusts with precision. Sleeping with someone for the first time could be awkward sometimes. I usually took all the control to avoid that.

  I spent my week thinking about Cassandra and hating myself for it. Did she ever really love me? How could she if she left me? She hadn’t reached out to me once or tried to talk to me. It’s like I didn’t matter. How could you love someone then carry on with your life like nothing happened?

  My view of love was getting worse and worse with every passing day. I thought Janice and Ryan loved each other, but they bit each others head’s off like they wanted to mutilate one another. Sean claimed he loved Scarlet but he fucked up so many times. My mom claimed she loved my dad but she was a total bitch. And Cassandra claimed she loved me but she turned her back on me. Maybe love didn’t exist at all. Maybe we clung to partners because it was better than being alone.

  Sean came into my office the following day, acting a little odd.

  “What’s up?” I asked without looking at him.

  “Nothing.” He stood in front of my desk with no intention of leaving.

  “Then why are you here?” I said rudely.

  He ran his fingers through his hair. “Have you…bumped into Cassandra?”

  I hated hearing her name. “No.”

  He nodded.

  “Why?”

  “I was just wondering.”

  I finally looked at him. “Is there something you aren’t telling me?”

  “I was just wondering if you’re over her yet.”

  “Over her?” I asked incredulously. “It’s only been two months. You don’t get over someone that quickly.”

  “Good point.”

  “Now get out of my face.”

  “Actually, I talked to Dad. He said he’s going through with the divorce.”

  “I thought he already decided that.” I twirled my pen in my hand.

  “Mom’s been…acting different so I thought he might change his mind.”

  “I support whatever Dad wants. If he wants to live the bachelor life, I’ll join him.”

  Sean gave me a sympathetic look. “I know it seems hard right now, but the worst is over. You’ll get through this then find the right person.”

  “She was the right person,” I said bitterly. “If it didn’t work out with her, it won’t work out with anyone.”

  “I thought the same thing about Penelope.”

  “Well, you were fucking blind. She was a bitch and a whore.”

  Sean didn’t deny it.

  “If we’re done with girl talk, I have shit to do.”

  Sean sighed then put his hands in his pockets. “I’m here if you…want to talk.”

  “I’m done talking.” I filled out the paperwork my secretary gave me then signed the bottom. “Bye.”

  Sean finally left my office, leaving me in peace.

  “And you said no?” Cameron asked incredulously. “She wanted to fuck with no strings attached and you said no?” His beer was untouched because he was so shocked by my announcement.

  “It’s not so simple,” I said quickly.

  Kirk looked at me like I was crazy. “When a hot girl wants to have a one-night stand, your answer should be yes—every single time.”

  “Isn’t that too soon?” I asked.

  “You’ve been broken up for almost two months,” Cameron snapped. “That’s plenty of time. No offense, but she’s probably fucking someone as we
speak. If she left you so easily, then she’s been doing it for a while.”

  I hated thinking about Cassandra with someone else. It made me physically sick.

  “Dude, move on,” Kirk said. “You’re just torturing yourself at this point. She’s not coming back.”

  I was starting to realize that more and more.

  “The sooner you rip the bandage off, the sooner your skin will heal,” Kirk said. “Now pick a broad in this place and ram her good.”

  “How is that fair to the girl?” I countered.

  Cameron rolled his eyes. “You’ve got to be kidding me. You aren’t in a relationship anymore. You need to get that out of your head.”

  “I know I’m not,” I snapped. “But how can I love someone then just sleep around again?”

  Kirk and Cameron both exchanged a look.

  “I know what this is about,” Cameron said. “You still think she might come back.” He shook his head. “She’s not, man. I wish she were. I really do. You need to accept that.”

  “I will—when I’m ready.”

  Cameron and Kirk finally abandoned the conversation and drank their beers. We talked about sports and politics for the rest of the night. When Cameron found a piece of meat he liked, ditched me and Kirk.

  “I’m getting my dick wet,” Cameron said. “Don’t wait up.” He joined a girl at a table and worked his magic.

  Kirk eyed the rest of the bar. “No one catches my fancy.”

  No one ever caught my fancy.

  “I think I’m going to head out,” he said. “How about you?”

  I still had half my beer left and nowhere to go. No one was waiting for me at home. I wasn’t loved by anyone. “I’m going to stick around and finish this. Maybe order another.”

  “Cool.” He clapped the back of my shoulder. “I’ll see you later, man.”

  “Bye.”

  I stayed at the bar and downed my beer along with my sorrow. The bar was covered in glass and I could see my depressed reflection within it. Everyone in the background had a good time and ordered more rounds. I stared at my once handsome face and wondered where it all went wrong. Why couldn’t I just get over this and be happy? But a part of me knew I would never be as happy without Cassandra in my life. It would always be a poor substitute.

  I knew I was thinking about her too much when I saw her face in the glass. She was at the opposite end, wearing a strapless dress and dangling gold earrings. The green eyes I stared at so often looked back at me. It was a mirage, a hallucination, wishful thinking. But when I blinked she didn’t look away.

  I nudged the guy next to me.

  “What?” he said, looking at me in the reflection.

  “You see that blonde girl at the end? Is she real?”

  He looked at me like I was crazy. “The girl with the earrings?”

  Shit. She was real. “Thanks…”

  “Yeah.” He turned back to his date.

  My heart flooded with adrenaline when I realized Cassandra and I were in the same bar. She saw me and I saw her. What did I do? Should I turn my back and leave? Should I talk to her? What should I say?

  My mind raced at the speed of light while I sat in my seat. I missed her like crazy, and seeing her beautiful face burned my eyes. Somehow, I forgot just how gorgeous she was. How could I?

  When I looked back at the spot where I saw her, she was gone. Maybe she took off as soon as she saw me. Maybe she wanted nothing to do with me. What if she was here with another guy and she left so I couldn’t tear him to pieces?

  I felt something soft graze my shoulder. When the familiar scent I’d know anywhere entered my nose, I knew she was beside me. My heart was about to explode because I was so nervous. I turned to her, trying to appear as indifferent as possible.

  I wasn’t prepared for what I saw. The green color of her eyes reminded me of the tropical rainforest, searing and vibrant. I saw the entire world within those irises, captivating and perfect. Her slender neck was just as flawless as it used to be. In the two months we’d been apart, she hardly changed. But I noticed she was a little slimmer. I preferred it when she was plump and strong. I sought for something intelligent to say, but my mouth was immobile.

  Cassandra came close to me, her chest almost touching mine. I didn’t know what she was doing, but I didn’t stop her. I wanted this to happen, whatever it was. She pressed her face to mine and closed her eyes. My breathing hitched as we became intimate. I missed moments like these, where nothing was said because it wasn’t necessary. We just needed to feel each other, to share something only she and I could understand. I didn’t realize how much I missed it until now. My heart hurt.

  She closed her eyes and I closed mine. Her hands rested on my biceps, feeling me gently. My hands automatically shot out to her petite waist. She was just as perfect as I remember. The dip in her back still excited me, and the feel of her muscles still drove me wild. God, I missed her.

  We held each other without speaking. I knew this was bad for me but I didn’t pull away. I wanted to be happy, even if it was just for a few moments in time. When I held her like this, I believed in love again. Because there was no doubt I loved her more than anything in this damn world. She completed me in a way no one else ever would. She was my other half, the person created just to complete me.

  “I miss you,” she whispered.

  I opened my eyes and looked into hers. “I miss you too.”

  Her lips brushed against mine then sealed over my mouth. My heart suddenly slowed down, barely beating. Combining our bodies together somehow calmed me down. I missed the affection I shared with her. I missed kissing her. My hand cupped her face and I felt her lips with mine. I recognized the faint taste of coconut, her signature taste. I never kissed her like this before. It was desperate, painful.

  She pulled away then brushed her lips against mine again. “Let’s go.”

  My heart rate spiked. I knew what she meant. I tossed my money on the counter then took her by the hand, getting the hell out of that depressing bar.

  Her apartment was closer than mine so we headed there. Neither one of us had the patience to wait. For the entire ride, we didn’t speak. I held her hand, feeling the small knuckles I used to kiss every night before bed. I kept looking at her, loving the way she looked in her dress and heels.

  When we came to her apartment, we immediately headed to the bedroom. Wordlessly, we undressed each other while our lips sealed together in passion. Her lips caressed mine then her tongue slipped inside. I massaged it with my own, tearing her dress off at the same time. When she was just in her panties, I lay her on the bed then cherished her body with my kisses. I was happy but in pain at the same time. I missed her so much and I couldn’t believe this was finally happening. I dreamt of this so many times. But now it was a reality.

  Cassandra yanked my clothes off then dug her nails into my skin, reminding me she was real. She kissed me harder, telling me how much she loved me and missed me. My hand gripped her thong, and I accidently ripped them off. She didn’t seem to notice.

  I didn’t even think about wearing protection. I hadn’t been with anyone else, and I knew she hadn’t either. She wouldn’t do that to me. Her long and beautiful legs wrapped around my waist, and she cupped my face while she kissed me.

  My cock found her like he had his own mind. He slipped inside, feeling the wetness I encountered hundreds of time. But I didn’t remember it ever feeling this good. She and I both gasped together, our fingers digging into each other as we absorbed the feeling. Being inside her felt right. She was everything to me, the only woman who had me in this way.

  Cassandra looked up at me, her green eyes burning in a fire. “I love you.”

  I stilled as I lay on top of her. My eyes burned at her words. Everyone said she wouldn’t come back to me, but here she was, telling me she loved me. I almost made a mistake I couldn’t take back and I’m so glad I didn’t. I would just feel like shit. Cassandra was the only woman I ever loved, and I’m glad I waited f
or her. I knew she would come back to me. I knew it. “I love you with my whole heart.”

  She gripped my lower back and pulled me into her, releasing a sigh as I moved all the way inside. Her musical sighs and gaping mouth fueled me forward. I held her close to me while I rocked into her, feeling our souls touch. I kissed her, my lips burning with every caress.

  I hadn’t gotten any for the past two months. I was too depressed to even masturbate. But this moment didn’t feel sexual to me. It was spiritual and loving. I didn’t have a hard time controlling myself because I was overcome with emotion. All I felt was our hearts beating together as one. I made love to her longer than I ever had, taking my time and making it last. Her thighs squeezed my hips when she felt her threshold. She moaned and gripped me while I brought her into a climax. I stared at her the entire time, watching the pleasure and warmth radiate through her.

  She moved her legs over my shoulders then grabbed my hips. She pulled herself to me, sheathing me over and over. I pressed my head to hers then prepared myself for the explosion. Not having an orgasm for two months made this one feel particularly amazing. I moaned louder than normal then gripped her as I released myself.

  She kissed my forehead while I finished, filling her with more seed than I ever had. I stayed inside her for a moment, cherishing the moment I just shared with her. All the pain I felt for the past two months vanished now that we were together.

  I pulled out of her then lay beside her. My arms hooked around her waist and pulled her to me. I couldn’t get her close enough. I kissed her forehead then snuggled with her tightly. My heart slowed to a dangerous pace and I breathed in her scent, feeling happier than I’ve ever felt in my life. I finally got her back. She was mine again.

  I slept better than I had in a long time. I didn’t toss and turn with memories of Cassandra. Since she was right next to me there was no need. But when I woke up, she wasn’t in bed with me. I faintly heard the shower in the next room and suspected where she was. Missing her immediately, I walked inside then stood behind her. My arm hooked around her chest, feeling her breasts, and I held her waist with my other arm, holding her close to me. My waist was pressed into her ass and I placed my face in her neck. The water fell on both of us, and we stood in silence. I closed my eyes while I held her in the steaming shower. She was distinctly slimmer, but drop dead gorgeous nonetheless.