Love Conquers All (Forever and Always #16) Page 8

  He rolled his eyes. “Whatever. It was fucking hot. Now I’m really a man.”

  “You weren’t a man when you knocked her up?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.

  “Nah,” Mike said. “That was child’s play.”

  Scarlet hugged him then hugged Cassandra. “Happy Birthday.”

  He nudged her in the side. “Thanks for tying her up.” He added a wink.

  Scarlet grinned. “I figured you appreciated my services.”

  “Fuck yeah I did,” Mike said.

  Ryan shook his hand. “I’ll have to try that with Janice.”

  “You haven’t already?” Mike asked incredulously.

  “Well, we have a stripper pole,” Ryan said. “Believe me, we have our kinks.”

  Janice slithered into his side. “And I’m already too much for him to handle.”

  Ryan shook his head and rolled his eyes since Janice couldn’t see him.

  Sean didn’t acknowledge his brother. He kept looking at Scarlet, an unhappy look on his face. “Maybe you should go have hot sex with Jerome.” The displeasure was in his voice.

  “Yeah, maybe he can actually knock her up,” Ryan jabbed.

  Sean glared at him.

  Scarlet chuckled at his insult, and Sean turned back to her, a look of murder on his face.

  “Sorry,” she said quickly.

  “How would you feel if I said I’d go out with some woman?”

  “I don’t think I’d care,” she said with a shrug. “It’s not like you’re going to leave me and actually do it.”

  “I want to be the only man you picture yourself with,” Sean said.

  Mike stared at them. “And I thought I was controlling…”

  “Stay out of this, asshole,” Sean snapped.

  “Just get over it,” Scarlet. “I was just joking.”

  “You want me to bend you over this table and teach you a lesson?” Sean’s eyes were wide.

  “Please don’t,” Ryan blurted.

  Monnique hugged Mike and Cassandra. “Happy birthday.”

  “Thanks,” Mike said. He stared at her before realization came to his eyes. “Damn, I wish Cassandra could get drunk. I’d throw you two together and wait for something to happen.”

  Monnique’s cheeks tinted.

  “What?” Cassandra asked.

  “Monnique and Scarlet made out when we partied in Vegas,” Mike said. “It was awesome.”

  “You want me to make out with Monnique?” she asked.

  “Or Janice. Not Scarlet. That would be gross,” Mike said.

  “Hey,” Scarlet said. “I’m not gross.”

  “You’re like my sister,” Mike said. “Totally disgusting.”

  Ryan pushed Janice a little closer to Cassandra. “Maybe if they stand next to each other long enough…”

  “Yes,” Janice said sarcastically. “Because if two women are in the same room long enough, they have to make out.”

  Mike and Ryan stared at them hard and waited.

  “You guys are ridiculous.” Janice came back to Ryan. “You like girl on girl action?”

  “Uh…is that a serious question?” Ryan said.

  She pressed her body against his. “How about we have a threesome?”

  Everyone froze, shocked by the suggestion.

  Ryan’s eyes were wide. “What…? Did I…? Wait. What?”

  Janice smirked while she rested her hands on his chest. “You, me, and a girl we both find attractive…”

  Ryan’s eyes were still wide like he just had a stroke. “You’d be down for that?”

  “Yeah.” She gave him a sinister look.

  His mouth was open. “You’re the perfect woman.”

  She shrugged. “So I hear.”

  Ryan grabbed her hand. “Well, we’re leaving. Happy birthday.”

  “Ryan,” Scarlet pressed. “No.”

  Mike shook his head. “No, dude. I totally understand. Get the hell out before she changes her mind.”

  Ryan looked at Monnique. “So…would you—”

  “You better be joking,” I snapped. This was my girl.

  Monnique picked up on the anger in my voice because she knew me so well.

  “Kidding,” Ryan said.

  I wasn’t sure if he was or not.

  “Let’s start drinking,” Ryan said. “Janice and I can be kinky later.”

  Sean looked at Scarlet and wiggled an eyebrow at her.

  “Never going to happen,” Scarlet snapped.

  He sighed unhappily.

  Rounds were ordered and we downed every glass. Cassandra and Scarlet didn’t drink. They both had water while everyone else had a good time. I noticed Monnique ordered a glass of wine but she hardly touched it. She drank her water most of the time.

  Everyone was initially awkward with Monnique and I being in the same room, but that quickly changed. We were back to normal, laughing and having a good time. Monnique was funny and witty. She made a lot of jokes. One made Ryan shoot alcohol out of his nose.

  After I had three drinks, I cut myself off. I didn’t want to be drunk when I left the bar. I looked at Monnique’s glass again. It was untouched. I wondered why.

  When it was almost one, everyone started getting tired. Scarlet was leaning into Sean’s shoulder, ready to fall asleep. Cassandra was also tired but she tried to hide it better.

  “My baby tired?” Mike asked.

  “I’m sorry I’m such a party pooper.”

  “You’re carrying my baby. You’re entitled to be a party pooper. Plus, I really tired you out when I fucked your brains out.”

  “That you did,” Cassandra said.

  “We need to find a girl,” Ryan said. “She’s gotta be hot.”

  “Definitely,” Janice said.

  Were they really going through with this?

  One by one, each couple said good night and left the bar. After we said our goodbyes, Monnique and I were the only ones left. My half empty beer sat in front of me while her wine remained untouched.

  I eyed it. “Did you not enjoy the wine?”

  She pushed the glass away. “I don’t drink anymore. I just pretend in social circles.”

  Oh. I could figure out why. When she drank, she went overboard. I’m glad she realized that.

  “I’m really excited for Mike and Cassandra. I want to see their baby.”

  “Yeah,” I said. “I’m sure it will be cute.”

  “Do you think they’ll really have a threesome?” Monnique asked. “Ryan doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy to be into that.”

  “He’s had plenty of threesomes before.”

  “TMI,” she said with a light laugh.

  I smiled then dropped it. I thought being alone with her would be awkward but it wasn’t. A part of me still saw her as mine, that I could tell her anything and be myself. Even when we didn’t speak, the silence was a comfort. It reminded me of the nights we’d have dinner and didn’t speak. I missed that so much it hurt.

  “Do you have another date lined up?” she asked. She spoke to me like we were just friends. If me dating bothered her, she hid it well.

  “No.”

  “I’m sure the women will come to you.”

  Women hit on me, but not in the same volume as men who hit on Monnique. She was a beacon of light calling lost ships to shore.

  “How’s Hazel?”

  “Good. She and Flynn are getting along well. He asked her to move in.”

  Her eyes softened. “That’s wonderful.”

  “But she said no.”

  “Oh. Why?”

  I shrugged. “She says it’s moving too fast, but I know it’s because she’s scared of getting hurt.”

  She nodded. “I can understand. But Flynn is a great guy. I can’t see him doing that to her—to anyone.”

  “Me either.”

  She felt the stand of her glass, the water droplets sticking to her fingers.

  “Are you dating anyone?” I asked.

  “No.” She didn’t look
at me.

  I guess that was a stupid question to ask.

  She pulled up her sleeve and looked at the time. “I should go. I have to get up early tomorrow.”

  “I thought you were off?”

  “I am. I’m going shopping with some friends. They like to hit the stores early to beat the crowds.”

  I was glad she had people to hang out with. “Who are your friends?”

  “I met them at the color run last weekend.”

  “You did the 5k?” I asked in surprise.

  “Yeah. I’ve been exercising a lot lately. It gives me more energy.”

  I’m not sure why I felt so surprised. She was moving on with her life, not sitting in her apartment and crying all night. She had friends. She had a life. I expected this break up to be more complicated and difficult for her. But she was stronger than I gave her credit for.

  “Cortland?”

  I was snapped out of my thoughts. “Yeah?”

  “Thanks for being my friend. The gang means a lot to me, and I would hate it if I had to give them up. And I liked spending time with you.”

  I didn’t know what to say. “I would never squeeze you out.”

  “I’m glad we can see each other and not make it awkward for everyone else.”

  “Yeah…”

  “And if you want to bring a girl around, don’t worry about me. It won’t bother me.”

  It won’t? I wouldn’t want to see her with some other guy. “I’m not serious with anyone.”

  “You will be soon. And I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable around me.”

  What the hell was going on? How did it not bother her? The idea of her being with anyone else made me sick. And I couldn’t be with anyone because it was fucking impossible. I couldn’t even get hard for another girl. When I was on a date, I couldn’t enjoy myself. All I thought about was her, the beautiful girl across from me. Her engagement ring still sat in my nightstand, unworn and unused. “Why are you so…okay with this?”

  Her features didn’t change. She seemed indifferent, even bored. “I’ve let you go, Cortland.”

  Let me go?

  “I made a lot of mistakes and really ruined our relationship. I take responsibility for that and I accept the consequences of my actions. I’ve really hurt you and I want you to be happy, even if it isn’t with me. I don’t feel entitled to you. Actually, I don’t feel any claim on you at all. And my actions have affected other parts of my life; my health, my friends, my social life. I’m putting myself back together and trying to be a better person. I’m just grateful you’re willing to be my friend after everything I’ve done to you.”

  “But you didn’t cheat on me,” I blurted. “You’re acting like you did.” I wasn’t sure why I was defending her. I guess she made herself sound like the most evil person in the world, which was completely untrue. She just made a few mistakes…

  “But I took you for granted. And if you ask me, that’s worse.” She eyed the remaining people in the bar, the last people who stayed behind. “I left you for a stupid and immature reason and then I fell into darkness over my modeling career, which was also immature. I’ve hurt you a lot, Cortland. Don’t downplay that.”

  “I’m not….I just think you’re being too harsh on yourself.”

  “I’m not,” she said simply. “I threw away the greatest thing that ever happened to me. I hurt the person I care most about. You broke down in my arms, unable to handle all the pain I caused you.” Her eyes built up with moisture.” She took a deep breath and blinked it away. “That will haunt me forever.”

  The pain on her face made me choke up. I swallowed the lump in my throat and stilled my emotions so they wouldn’t break to the surface.

  She grabbed her clutch and her phone then stood up. “I should go. Good night, Cortland.”

  I couldn’t move. “Good night.”

  She left the bar. I sat alone, Monnique on my mind. Pain like I never felt convulsed in my heart. I didn’t want it to be this way. I loved her with my whole heart and wanted her for the rest of my life. It seemed like she changed so much in the short time we were apart. Maybe we could work this out. I clearly was getting nowhere dating people. But I didn’t go after her. I stayed in my booth, my beer sitting in front of me, untouched. The business card Jerome left her was still on the counter. It obviously didn’t mean anything to her.

  8

  Hazel

  Flynn didn’t call me for the next two days. I didn’t call him.

  I was hurt by everything he said to me. The fact he didn’t want to move in with me anymore really stung. It was a really big step for me, and I thought about it for a long time before I agreed. And now he didn’t want me.

  Were we even together anymore? I wasn’t sure. Maybe that’s what he meant when he told me not to move in. I’d been dumped before, and that seemed like a break up to me. Couples fight, but they don’t kick you out of their apartment.

  I already put in my lease break notice and there was nothing I could do about it. They already rented out the apartment. Now I had nowhere to go. If Flynn screwed me over like that, then we must be over. And that knowledge made me sob over and over.

  When I finally controlled my body so I wouldn’t cry for five minutes, I tried to figure out what to do. I needed to find a place to stay. I already sold my big furniture online because I assumed I wouldn’t need it anymore. I made a hasty decision and committed myself to Flynn, and as a result, I lost everything. I didn’t even have a dresser. My apartment was just a room full of clothes, shoes, and garbage.

  I put off my arrangements long enough. I needed to find a place to stay, and there was only one person I could turn to. I called him.

  “Hey,” Cortland said. “Lunch?”

  I tried not to cry, not to lean on him. “Can I stay with you for a while?” The tears fell down my face but they didn’t escape in my voice.

  “What? Why?”

  “I don’t have anywhere to live…”

  His voice changed, becoming serious. ”What happened?”

  “Flynn and I broke up. I already put in my notice to leave the apartment, and now I have nowhere to go.”

  “He fucked you over like that?” he asked incredulously. “That doesn’t sound like him.”

  “Well, he did. So…can I stay with you?” If he said no I was homeless.

  “Of course you can,” he said immediately. “But what happened?”

  “It’s a long story…”

  “I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

  “Aren’t you at work?”

  He hung up.

  I put my phone on the ground and leaned against the wall, my knees to my chest. I didn’t even have a couch to sit on. My head fell back against the wall and more tears fell. I was scared to get hurt by Flynn and that’s exactly what happened.

  I knew I shouldn’t have had Kyle at my apartment, and I completely understood why Flynn was upset, but I thought breaking up with me was harsh. I didn’t cheat on him. I never would. All Kyle and I did was talk. And when he asked me to be with him again, I told him Flynn was a million times better. I wish I recorded the conversation.

  Cortland opened the door then spotted me on the ground, tears stained on my face. He gave me a sad look before he sat beside me. His arm automatically moved around my shoulders and he pulled me close to him. I buried my face in his shoulder, grateful to be held by someone.

  “What happened?” he whispered.

  “Kyle came over a few nights ago. He wanted to apologize and then he asked me to be with him. I told him it was never going to happen and we talked about his break up with his fiancé. Flynn came over and saw. Automatically, he assumed the worst. And he’s pissed at me for letting my ex into my apartment.”

  “Did you explain what happened?”

  “Yeah…”

  “He didn’t listen?”

  I shook my head. “He was still pissed. He said we shouldn’t move in together and he left.”

  “I don’t think that
necessarily means he wants to break up.”

  “I’m pretty sure it does,” I said sadly. “You didn’t hear everything else he said to me.”

  “Has he called?”

  “No…”

  “And he knows you have nowhere to live?”

  I nodded.

  Cortland held me tightly. “That just doesn’t sound like Flynn.”

  “Well, I never thought he would get mad like that but he did. He’s never been so mean to me. It was a side I’ve never seen before.”

  “I’m sure it’s because he cares about you so much—that’s all.”

  I closed my eyes and leaned into his chest. “I knew he would hurt me…”

  Cortland said nothing. I’m sure he didn’t know how to respond.

  “Maybe this was all a mistake.” I wiped my tears away. “I can’t keep a relationship. I’m so—”

  “Stop.” Cortland looked down at me. “Don’t do that. There’s nothing wrong with you. Every relationship has its hard times. We all make mistakes and we do stupid things. It’s trial and error. It’s never just a single person who’s responsible.”

  “It’s pretty clear Monnique was responsible for your break up,” I jabbed. Immediately after I said it, I wished I hadn’t. I knew Cortland was still sensitive about the topic.

  “But we were still in odd situations,” he whispered. “And I think she learned from her mistakes.”

  “What does that mean?” I asked.

  “I’m just…explaining.”

  “No, you’re defending her.”

  He was quiet for a long time. “I guess I’ll always defend her.”

  He held me against the wall, protecting me with his arms. It was nice to feel loved by someone, that someone would always be there for me no matter what. Cortland was the family I was missing, the support I never had.

  “I’ll help you move every thing after work,” he said. “I’ll get off early.”

  “You’re going to leave…?” I couldn’t keep the sadness out of my voice.

  “I won’t be gone long. And I’ll be yours afterwards.”

  “Okay.” I didn’t want to let him go but I had to.

  He kissed me on the forehead. “It’ll be alright. I promise.”

  “Okay.” I believed him.

  He left my apartment, and as soon as he was gone, I felt alone all over again.