Combust (Electric Series #4) Page 8

  She held her utensils in her hand but didn’t take another bite. “What happened to this girl?”

  I shrugged. “I have no idea. I never kept tabs on her. I never cared to wonder what she was doing with her life.”

  “You never ran into her?”

  “Nope.” Thank god.

  “I can’t even imagine that…”

  I sipped my wine. “What?”

  “She cheated on you and thought she got away with it. I wonder if she went back to her ex and they’re still together.”

  “Maybe.” I didn’t give a damn.

  Taylor finally dropped the conversation, sipping her wine quietly. Now that she asked everything she could possibly ask, we should never have a reason to talk about Sara again.

  She was finally buried.

  “For what it’s worth, I think you’re absolutely amazing in bed.”

  I stopped eating because the sentence took me by surprise. I didn’t need her to tell me that. It was obvious in the way she came around my dick and begged for more. It was clear by the look in her eyes when I rocked into her. Everything she did and said made it abundantly obvious. “I know.” After spending a year of my life fucking everything that moved, I became an expert on the female anatomy. I knew what women wanted, how they wanted it, and what kind of fantasies they held. I was grateful I could apply this knowledge to the one woman who actually mattered. “And you’re amazing too. The music we make together is hypnotizing.”

  “You can say that again.” She went back to eating her dinner, having barely touched it. We spent so much time talking that neither one of us really got to eat anything. We fell into a quiet conversation about work and her students.

  We wiped our plates clean then finished the rest of the wine. Together, we usually went through a whole bottle. Taylor couldn’t handle her liquor as well as I could, but when it was just her and me, she didn’t care how much she drank. I was getting her into bed either way.

  “Volt?”

  “Hmm?”

  Her eyes drooped from alcohol, desire, and exhaustion. “You need to talk to Clay.”

  I knew this moment was coming. She held her tongue for a week but the alcohol made it loosen.

  “Every night he stays in that house is another night where he might not come out alive. Volt, you need to look after him. By doing nothing, you’re guilty.”

  “I know.”

  “It’s been a week, and you haven’t made a single move.”

  “I know…”

  “Talk to him or I’ll step in. I hate to step on your toes and pressure you, but this kid is important to me. We have to look out for him. We can’t drop the ball on this.”

  She repeated herself enough times. “Okay.”

  “When are you going to talk to him?”

  I wanted to say next week but that answer wouldn’t suffice. It would have to be sooner than I wanted. “Tomorrow.”

  I hoped tomorrow would never come.

  ***

  Now that the SATs were finished, Clay wasn’t being tutored every day like he used to be. We only met once a week to go over his homework and for me to help him with any additional questions he had. Since we started working together, his grades had picked up significantly. Two of his teachers called me just to ask how I managed it.

  I told them I didn’t do anything. Clay did all the work.

  Clay met me in the conference room like usual, and he sat across from me with his homework and the details for his science project. We’d become closer than ever before, having a relationship based on a deep foundation of trust, respect, and love.

  I didn’t want to lose that.

  Taylor wasn’t the only person who fixed me. Clay made me realize I wasn’t a selfish asshole like I once thought. He made me realize I still had the capacity to love when I thought it was lost. He made me realize I needed a family someday. That was something I couldn’t live without. He brought out the best in me—and chased out the worst.

  “I’m glad you and Tayz are back together,” Clay said. “I like her.”

  “I like her too. And what did you just call her?”

  “Isn’t that her nickname?” he asked. “She told me that’s what her friends call her. It’s catchy.”

  If she was cool with it, then I was cool with it. “Yeah. She’s pretty fantastic.”

  “Are you going to marry her?”

  A question like that would have made me snap in anxiety months ago, but now I was eerily calm. “If she’ll have me.”

  “When are you going to ask?”

  “Not sure. Haven’t thought about it.”

  “Well, chicks like her don’t come around very often. You should put a ring on it before it’s too late.”

  “We haven’t been together very long.” Maybe a few months if you took out the breakup.

  “But weren’t you kinda together when you were just friends?” he asked.

  He remembered more than I gave him credit for. “Yeah.”

  “So, doesn’t that count?”

  “It’s debatable.”

  “I think you should go for it.”

  “Since when did you become the love doctor?” I asked with a smirk.

  “I’m not,” he argued. “But I think if you find someone who really makes you happy, you shouldn’t let them go. Remember what you were like when you broke up? I do. God, you were annoying!”

  A laugh escaped my chest. “Annoying?”

  “Yeah. You were moping around all day and licking your wounds. You were a pain in the ass.”

  I didn’t berate him for the curse word. When he said stuff like that, it made me fonder of him.

  “I hate to say it, but you were a huge pussy.”

  “I was.” I wouldn’t deny it.

  “And if a girl can whip you like that, then she’s the one.”

  “I see your reasoning.”

  “So, let me know when you’re going to ask.”

  I wasn’t in a hurry, but I also hated going back and forth between our apartments. I hated the nights when she went home because she had laundry and cleaning to do. I hated the fact that we weren’t together every second of the day. I never grew tired of her, and when she wasn’t around, I didn’t know what to do with myself. “I will.”

  Clay turned back to his book. “I’m supposed to do a science project, but I don’t know what to make. Is the volcano with baking soda and vinegar too cliché?”

  It was the most cliché thing in the world. “Yeah.”

  “Yeah, you’re right.” He stared across the room as he tried to brainstorm.

  I came to a dead-end in the road and knew I couldn’t move any further. The time had arrived, and I had to drop this bomb on Clay and hope for the best. Hopefully, he would see reason and understand I just cared about him. I wasn’t working against him like everyone else. “Clay, we need to talk about something…”

  “What?” He looked up. “Did my test scores arrive?”

  “No, not yet.” I closed his books and stacked them on the side of the table.

  He watched me, fear coming into his eyes. “Okay…”

  “This isn’t easy for me to say. Keep an open mind, alright?”

  “Uh, I’ll try.”

  “After what happened on Christmas Eve, I can’t let you stay there anymore.”

  The words sank into his skin, and the realization slowly entered his brain. His eyes changed from friendly to sinister. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

  “Clay, your father is dangerous, and he could hurt you.”

  “He already has, and I’m fine. Why are we talking about this? I told you I’m okay staying there. I don’t want to leave.”

  “But one of these nights, he might kill you.”

  “Maybe. But I doubt it.”

  “It shouldn’t even be a possibility,” I argued. “Don’t you see that?”

  “Look, this is the hand I was dealt. It’s not that bad. I’ll be out of there soon.”

  “But—�
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  “I knew I shouldn’t have gone to your apartment. I should have slept on a park bench.”

  “No. You can come to me for anything and you know that.”

  “Not if you’re going to rat me out.” He shook his head. “I knew I couldn’t trust you. I should have kept my goddamn mouth shut.”

  This was taking a turn for the worst, and my heart started to ache. “Clay, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if I lost you. I love you like my son, okay? I can’t handle someone hurting you.”

  “Whatever,” he snapped. “I’ve been okay for this long. I’ll be okay for a little longer.”

  “But you deserve more.”

  “I’m not going to an orphanage,” he snapped. “Word will get out at school, and everyone will tease me more than they already do. I’ll be the stupid kid with no parents. I’ll be the stupid kid who has a drug addict for a father. What kind of chance do you think I’ll stand in a place like that?”

  “It won’t be as bad as you think it will.”

  “Volt, it’s my life. Maybe I’m not an adult yet, but I should have a say in what happens to me. I don’t want to go there. I’ve taken care of myself for this long. Why don’t you trust my judgment?”

  “I do trust your judgment, Clay. But remember, I’m the adult. I have a lot more wisdom than you. I wouldn’t make this suggestion unless I thought it was the best thing for you.”

  “Well, you don’t know what the best thing is for me,” he snapped. “You don’t know anything with your perfect family and your perfect house. You guys had more food to eat than I’ve had in an entire year. You guys sit around and talk because you have so much free time. We come from different worlds. I know my world a lot better than you do, so stop acting like you understand. You don’t and never will.”

  “Clay—”

  “Shut up,” he hissed. “If you tell anyone, I’ll never forgive you. I’ll never speak to you again. I’ll hate you for the rest of my life.”

  My eyes stung when he said those words. Nothing hurt as much as that. I was devastated when Taylor left me, but this was a new kind of anguish.

  “Friends don’t do this to each other. I’m directly telling you what I want but you aren’t listening.”

  “Clay, I have to keep you safe.”

  “By ruining my life?” he hissed.

  “It won’t be as bad as you think it is.”

  “And you know because…?” He leaned forward, growing more vicious. “Do you have any idea what social services is like? Do you have any idea what an orphanage is like? I have friends who’ve gone down that road. I know things that you never will. So stop acting like you understand. You don’t get it.”

  “I know you’re afraid of change—”

  “I’m not afraid of change. I’m afraid of losing my freedom. I’m afraid of losing my rights. Maybe my dad is a drunk and a drug user, but he leaves me the fuck alone. He does his thing, I do mine. I come and go as I please.”

  “Because he doesn’t care about you.”

  “And that’s fine because I have you.”

  Somehow, that hurt even more.

  “But if you do this, I’m going to lose the one person I thought actually cared about me.”

  “I do care about you.”

  “Then drop this bullshit now.”

  I wanted to duck my head and cower but I couldn’t. This was hard—even more difficult than I anticipated. Clay was persuasive, and I almost gave in to him. I almost did what he asked. But I had to straighten my backbone and lay down the law—no matter how much it hurt. Clay couldn’t live in that place for another year. If he did, he would wind up dead. “Clay, this is what’s going to happen. I’m calling social services tomorrow and explaining everything to them. They’ll investigate the situation. You can lie all you want, but they’ll take my word over yours. When they come to the house, they’ll see it’s an inhospitable environment anyway. Then they’ll proceed from there. I’m sorry this isn’t what you want, but this is what’s going to happen. I’m telling you now so you can be prepared.”

  Clay stared at me, his hands shaking on the table. The anger buried behind his eyes was about to explode. Rage pumped in his blood, and he was just a second from leaping across the table and attacking me. It was the kind of ferocity he couldn’t contain.

  I held my ground, hating myself more with every passing second.

  Clay jumped up and snatched his things. He threw his backpack over his shoulder and walked to the door.

  “Clay.” I rose to my feet, not wanting things to end like this.

  He turned around, his hands still shaking. “I trusted you. I fucking trusted you and you stabbed me in the back. You’re just like everyone else. You think you’re better than me, smarter than me, know better than me. But you don’t get it and you never will. I hate you, Volt. I fucking hate you and never want to see your piece-of-shit face again. Fuck off.” He stormed out of the conference room and slammed the door shut behind him.

  I watched him walk away through the windows, hearing his words echo loudly in my head. It was like the echo inside of a seashell. It would last forever, continuing on endlessly for my own turmoil.

  I dropped back into the chair because my legs no longer worked. My body shut down because it couldn’t handle the shock that just rocked me. My eyes watered with tears I didn’t think I could ever possess. I was broken beyond repair, my heart shattered in two. I just lost someone who meant the world to me and now he hated me.

  Despised me.

  I leaned over the table and rested my face in my hands, feeling the hot tears bubble to the surface of my eyes. I tried to fight them back. I couldn’t remember the last time I cried. It must have happened when I was a child. But now I couldn’t contain my depression. I was sick to my stomach with pain. My body ached like I’d been tortured.

  And the tears came.

  ***

  Taylor came over after work, a bag of groceries in her hand. It was her turn to make dinner.

  I forgot she was coming. I forgot everything about my life after my conversation with Clay. Nothing else seemed to matter, even the woman I was madly in love with.

  “Work was such a snore.” She set the bag on the counter. “The students had an exam, so I surfed the web on my computer all day long.” She put the groceries away, depositing the vegetables and meat into the fridge. “How was your day?”

  I leaned against the wall, unable to hold my body up.

  When I didn’t respond, she turned to me. “What’s—” She stopped talking when she saw the tortured look on my face. My despair radiated like a beacon, and my entire body was just a shadow of what I used to be. I didn’t need to say anything to explain my feelings.

  She knew.

  “Volt…” She wrapped her arms around me and held me tightly, allowing me to bury my face in her neck. She ran her hands up and down my back, holding me up with her small stature.

  Feeling her body next to mine combated the pain but didn’t eradicate it altogether. It was a small respite from what I was feeling, but nothing in the world could make it disappear altogether. “He hates me.”

  “No, he doesn’t.” She continued to comfort me, to love me in the greatest way possible. But no amount of love could erase what I just lost. Nothing could bring Clay back to me.

  “Yes, he does.”

  ***

  After a lengthy conversation with the school and social services, everything moved forward. They conducted their investigation, and based on what they found at Clay’s apartment, it was grounds for his immediate removal.

  I expected Clay to run away as soon as we had our conversation, but he didn’t. Maybe he thought I would change my mind. Maybe he thought saying he hated me would be enough to steady my hand.

  Nothing could have changed my mind.

  I took a backseat to the investigation since I was merely a witness, but I knew the drill. I knew what would come next. It was only a matter of time before Clay was placed in an orphanage
. He wouldn’t go into a group home since those were designated for at-risk youth. Clay may look like a problem child but his grades and SAT score said otherwise.

  My life was a blur at that point. I went to work and stayed in my office most of the time, having meaningless meetings and phone calls. My only client no longer needed my services, so I was left to my own devices.

  My job suddenly felt insignificant.

  When I went home at the end of the day, Taylor was there. She took care of me, cooked for me, and rubbed my back until I fell asleep every night. Without her, I wasn’t sure what I would’ve done.

  I didn’t give her the attention she deserved but she didn’t seem to care. She was too concerned about me to care about herself. Sex was off the table, and I was a terrible conversationalist. The two of us usually sat in silence in front of the TV. Sometimes she graded papers or worked from her laptop, but having her there was a comfort.

  I couldn’t go through this alone.

  “He’s in an orphanage now.” I got the news from the social worker who took on the case. When she told me the news, I was relieved and depressed. Now Clay was safe. But he was also miserable.

  “Which one?” she asked.

  “St. Anthony’s.”

  “I heard that one is nice.”

  “Yeah…”

  She rested her hand on my thigh and rubbed it gently.

  “Maybe I should go see him tomorrow. Do you think he’d see me?” I hated how weak I’d become. I hated how pathetic I sounded. Everything that defined me as a man disappeared once Clay hurt me.

  “I think you should give him more time. Let him get used to the orphanage before you stop by.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah. It’s going to take him a while to get used to it. If you go right now, he’ll just be angry. Maybe in a few weeks he’ll like it and his opinion will change.”

  “Hopefully.”

  She patted my thigh. “How about some dinner? I made lasagna.”

  “Not hungry.” I hadn’t been eating. My appetite disappeared, and I already lost weight. My body couldn’t handle the lack of nutrients and protein to uphold my size.

  But I didn’t care.

  “I’ll put it in the fridge for later.” Taylor never pressed me on anything. She did what I asked without complaint. She was a trooper through the whole ordeal. If and when I snapped out of this, I’d have to thank her for everything.