Forever With You Page 7

  Where in the park?

  The eastern bridge. I was sitting on the grass nearby. The shade from the birch tree kept me cool despite the heat of the day.

  I’ll be there soon.

  Thirty minutes later, Dad walked up the sidewalk toward me. He held two milkshakes. The fact he brought me one was a dead giveaway that he knew I was in pain.

  He sat beside me then handed it to me. “Chocolate and strawberry.”

  “Thanks…” I sipped it then put it down.

  He was wearing a suit but he didn’t seem to mind getting it dirty from the grass. He owned a million of them anyway. “What are you working on?”

  I showed him the sketches I made as well as the checklist. “I quit my job today.”

  He didn’t seem stunned by the news. “Any reason why?”

  “I don’t want to work for someone else. I know what I’m doing and I can launch my own clothing line. That’s what I’m going to do now.”

  “Sounds like a great idea. Where do we begin?”

  “I need to get a loan first. Then I can take care of everything.”

  “I can just give you the money, sweetheart.”

  “I don’t want your money, Dad.” I looked across the park and noticed a couple walking hand-in-hand. The sight made me sick so I looked down.

  “I don’t mind helping. I’m helping Conrad with his business.”

  “No.” I didn’t want to argue about this further.

  “Well, you’ll need me to cosign it then. No bank will give you that big of loan on your own.”

  “Then I’ll need your help for that.”

  He nodded. “And I would love to help in any other way I can.”

  “It’s okay, Dad. I know exactly what I’m doing.”

  “I’m glad that internship helped you.”

  Despite how much of a bitch Galaxy was, I learned a lot. “It did.”

  He sipped his milkshake then left it in the grass. He stared straight ahead for a long time, staying quiet. Then he spoke. “I heard about you and Slade.”

  I continued to scribble notes in my journal.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Looks like you were right after all, huh?” I said bitterly.

  He sounded hurt. “Trinity, I never wanted to be right.”

  “Well, I was stupid for ever believing he and I had a future together. I was stupid for loving him. He’ll be my biggest regret for as long as I live.”

  Dad sipped his milkshake again. “I don’t think any of that is true.”

  “I do,” I said immediately.

  “Rage is a part of grief. I think you two really loved each other. He shouldn’t be a regret.”

  “You hate him, Dad.”

  “I’ve never hated, Slade. I was just threatened by him.”

  “Threatened?” I asked.

  “I was afraid he would hurt you,” he whispered. “It doesn’t feel good to be right about it—at all.”

  I felt the pen in my fingertips. “I thought he’d changed… I thought he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.”

  “Trinity, Slade is very young. Most men don’t settle down until they’re thirty.”

  “What does that matter?” I asked.

  “Perhaps Slade will change his mind. Sometimes you need to lose something before you realize you can’t live without it.”

  “I know that won’t happen,” I said quietly.

  “It might.”

  “I’m not going to waste my heart getting my hopes up. He’ll just disappoint me. That’s all he’s ever been—just a disappointment.”

  Dad rested his arms on his knees.

  “I hate him.”

  “No, you don’t,” he said quietly. “You hate the fact he’s hurt you this much. But you love him.”

  “No, I hate him,” I said firmly. “He wasted so much of my time. I stuck out my neck for him and then he made me look like a fool.”

  “No one thinks you’re a fool, Trinity.”

  “They should.”

  “I think you took a risk for love. And that’s the best kind of risk you can possibly take.”

  I returned to taking notes.

  Dad watched me then sighed. “Both of my kids are going through massive break ups…I think I might die from the pain.”

  I stopped scribbling. “Conrad and Beatrice broke up?”

  “Yeah,” he said quietly. Then he told me the story.

  I sighed in annoyance. “Beatrice needs to get over herself. If that’s really what happened then Conrad is better off without her.”

  “I just want him to be happy—both of you.”

  “We’ll get through it, Dad. It just might take a while…”

  He put his arm around my shoulders then pulled me closer to him. Then he pressed a kiss to my forehead. “You will, sweetheart.”

  Chapter Seven

  Slade

  I only went to work because I didn’t have a choice. My dad finally thought I was responsible enough to run the shop, and if I bailed because Trinity left me then he would never trust me again. I had to push through it and pretend I was okay even if I was drowning in my own self-loathing. The only upside to it was the distraction. When I was at work, I didn’t think about Trinity as often.

  But when I stepped inside my apartment, my body collapsed underneath me. I couldn’t stand on my own two feet so I sat at my kitchen table and pressed my head against the cool surface.

  My eyes were wide open and I stared at my opposite wall. The sun disappeared from the city and I didn’t turn on the lights. I just watched the darkness creep into my tiny apartment.

  I had no purpose in life anymore. Trinity was my primary reason for existence. The second I was off work, she was the person I ran to. She was the one woman I could confide everything to. She was everything to me. Without her, I was pathetic and weak. Somehow, loving her made me stronger, if that’s even possible.

  My front door opened but I didn’t bother to check who it was. If it was a burglar they could take everything. They could even kill me just for good measure. I didn’t give a damn.

  “Hey, man.” Cayson placed something on the table then sat beside me. “How are you holding up?”

  I opened a beer and drank it one sitting. “How’d you think?” I threw the bottle at the wall and it shattered. I didn’t flinch at the sound.

  Neither did Cayson. “I got your stuff.”

  I never asked him to do it. He just took care of the post-break up bullshit.

  “It’s mainly your clothes and stuff.”

  “What would I ever do without that?” I said sarcastically.

  He ignored my bitter sarcasm. “She threw this in there too. I asked her to keep it but she wouldn’t budge.” He placed the bracelet on the table.

  I looked at it, and my entire body burned like it was on fire. “She doesn’t want it?”

  “No…”

  I felt it in my hands, touching the cold metal.

  Cayson was staring at me. “Slade, it’s only going to get worse. Believe me, I know.”

  I continued to stare at the bracelet.

  “Just take the hit and agree to marry her. I know how you feel about marriage, but I promise you’ll change your mind once it happens. It’s not as bad as you think it is.”

  I wasn’t listening to him. “She just…threw this in there?”

  “Yeah. She said it doesn’t mean anything to her.”

  I squeezed it in my hand, wishing I could break it with just the use of my fingers.

  Cayson watched me. “Slade, just marry her. Come on, man. She’s the only woman you want anyway.”

  My mind was elsewhere, on the warm shore facing the ocean. I remembered the way she looked in her bikini. When I held her in the water, she clung to me like I could protect her. We made love every night, and each time was better than the last. But now that was over. She wasn’t here.

  “Is it really worth losing her over?” Cayson continued. “If you don’t marry her, then she’ll
find someone else who will. And when that day comes, you’ll hate yourself. Believe me, I know.”

  I jumped to my feet, the bracelet still in my hands.

  “What are you—”

  I walked out and slammed the door.

  ***

  I banged on her door until she finally answered it.

  Trinity looked at me, surprised and relieved at the sight of me.

  “I’ll do it. I’ll marry you.”

  All the pain and anger melted away instantly. She released the breath she was holding, and the Trinity I knew came back.

  I stepped inside her apartment even though I wasn’t invited. “I think marriage is stupid but if it’s that important to you, I’ll get through it. If I have to do it, I’ll do it. I would rather make the sacrifice than suffer without you. So, fine, let’s get hitched and then go back to what we were.”

  All the happiness drained from her face. Where there once was color now there was paleness. “If you have to do it? You’ll get through it?”

  “Yes, I’ll sign the marriage license and we can be husband and wife. Whatever you want. I really don’t care. If I have to marry you in order to be with you, then I’ll deal with it.”

  “Deal with it?” Her eyes coated with moisture. “Deal with it? Do I have to handcuff you too?”

  “What?” What did I say? I was agreeing to marry her. This should be a joyous reunion, right?

  Her face was streaked with tears. “We’re done forever, Slade. Just go.”

  “What! I just agreed to marry you.”

  “No woman wants to force her man into marriage! You’re acting like it’s a chore!”

  “Well…”

  She shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest. “I thought you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me because that was something you wanted. But if I have to force you into it and put a gun to your head…then forget it. That’s not how I want this to happen. I deserve to be with a man who wants to marry me, not who’s forced to marry me. Maybe you think it’s stupid, but I want someone who actually looks at me and wants to make me his wife. I want him to pick out the ring and then plan a proposal that will make me cry. I want him to be excited about it. Having you burst through my door and say you’ll finally make the sacrifice is not what I want! So, we’re done.”

  I put my hands on my hips and breathed hard. “I do want to marry you…”

  “Shut up! You’re such a terrible liar.”

  “Trinity, I’m trying here! I don’t want to lose you. You told me marriage was something you wouldn’t compromise on. So I’ll make the sacrifice—”

  She gave me a hurtful glare.

  “I mean, I will gladly do it. You want to do the whole party with the white dress and all that crap, okay. I’ll be at the end of the aisle waiting.”

  She shook her head and stepped away from me. “Slade, go.”

  “No! I’m trying! Meet me halfway.”

  “I don’t want to meet you halfway. Us being together is never going to work. You don’t want to get married and I do. That’s the end of the story. You clearly aren’t going to change your mind. And that’s fine, Slade. But I’m not going to settle for someone, no matter how much I may love him. I settled for you in the beginning when I let you use me. Now I need to go out and find what I always wanted.”

  “Trinity, I don’t want you to be with someone else.”

  “I don’t want to be with someone else either but that’s how it’s going to be.” She wiped her tears from her face.

  “Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it.”

  “You don’t get it!” She pushed me as hard as she could.

  I fell to the ground and looked up at her.

  “You can’t fix this, Slade. You can’t change it. It’s done. We’re over for good. Now let’s move on.”

  I moved back to my feet. “Move on?”

  “Yes.” Her eyes were red and bloodshot.

  I breathed hard, wishing things would be different. Why did I have to give her that stupid bracelet? Why did I have to take her on a trip? These thoughts never would have come into her head. I could have avoided all of this.

  “Get out of my apartment, Slade.”

  “Trinity, I love you.”

  “Go!”

  “I love you! Isn’t that all that matters?”

  “No.” She opened the front door and waited for me to walk out.

  “Why do we have to ruin such a good thing?” I asked desperately, feeling the tears fall. “Why can’t we just love what we have?”

  “You’re the one ruining it, Slade,” she said coldly. “This could have blossomed into something so beautiful but you sabotaged it with your commitment issues. I never should have let this relationship continue on this long. If I take you back and settle for a relationship without a marriage, I will always resent you. There is no other option. Now go.”

  “Trinity—”

  She shoved me through the door. “Good bye, Slade.”

  “Trinity!”

  She slammed the door in my face and locked it.

  I gripped my skull and screamed.

  Chapter Eight

  Cayson

  Skye lay beside me in bed. It was dark in her room, and her soft sheets covered our bodies. The lights from the adjacent buildings could be seen through the floor-to-ceiling windows. It looked like the city was on fire.

  My best friend was going through the worst time of his life. He lost the one person he loved more than anyone. And here I was, lying beside the love of my life, unbelievably happy and serene. Watching him lose Trinity made me hold on to Skye tighter. And I couldn’t help but be thankful that I wasn’t him.

  Did that make me a horrible person?

  Skye seemed to be just as lost in thought. “They’ll work it out, right?” she whispered. There was fear in her voice.

  “I don’t know. I know he loves her. And I know he wants to marry her. He just doesn’t realize it yet.”

  “Damn Slade,” she said with a sigh. “Trinity is a total mess.”

  “She can’t be worse than Slade.”

  “I don’t know…maybe it’s a tie.”

  I leaned over her then kissed her neck. Then I pulled her legs around my waist. “Don’t ever leave me. Please. I know it’s pathetic to beg but I really don’t care.”

  She moved her palms up my chest. “Never, Cayson.”

  “This is forever. Okay?”

  She nodded.

  I pressed my forehead to hers and just held her. I’d already lost her once, and watching Slade lose Trinity made me appreciate and cherish her even more. Living without Skye almost killed me. I couldn’t go through that pain again. Death would be preferable.

  Skye rolled me to my back then moved on top of me.

  I loved it when she was on top. She was great at it, and her large tits looked fantastic when they bounced up and down.

  Her hands moved to my stomach and she gripped me for support. Then she moved up and down.

  I lay back and watched her ride my dick, feeling like the luckiest man in the world. Ward could have been the man underneath her. But fortunately, it was me. And it would always be me.

  ***

  I went by Slade’s apartment with Chinese food. “I got the pot stickers you like.”

  He was sitting at the table with his head pressed against the surface.

  “And I got some sticky rice.” I put everything on the table and handed him chopsticks.

  He waved it away and kept his head on the table.

  “Slade, you need to eat.”

  “Fuck that,” he mumbled.

  “What happened the other day?” I asked.

  “What?” he whispered.

  “When you took off when I was talking to you.”

  “Oh.” He groaned. “I went to Trinity’s and told her I would marry her.”

  What? Then why was he so miserable? “Then what happened?”

  “She said she didn’t want to force me to marry he
r. That isn’t how she wanted it to be. Then she said we were done forever. And she kicked me out.”

  I was missing something. “What exactly did you say?”

  He shrugged. “I said I would marry her if I had to. I would make the sacrifice to keep her around. I could deal with it and push through it.”

  “You said it just like that?”

  “Yeah…”

  I couldn’t blame Trinity for not being tempted by that offer. “Slade, she only wants you if you really want to marry her.”

  He turned his head the other way and sighed.

  I gripped his shoulder and forced him to sit up. “Come on, eat up.”

  “I’m not hungry, man.”

  “You can’t sit here in the dark all night.” I got up and flicked on some lights.

  “Why not?” he asked. “Saves money, right? And I’m not doing anything anyway.”

  “Well, I don’t want to poke myself in the eye with a chopstick.”

  He stared at the Styrofoam boxes. “Is it supposed to hurt this much…?”

  I wish I could lie to him. “And it’ll get worse.”

  He covered his face and sighed. “Why did I have to take her on that stupid fucking trip?”

  I didn’t want to rub it in so I held my tongue.

  “Why did I have to give her that damn bracelet?”

  “For what its worth, this conversation would have came up eventually.”

  “But Trinity would be mine right now,” he said miserably. “I’d be having dinner with her…watching TV. I’d be…” He couldn’t finish the sentence because he started to cry.

  I’d never seen him openly weep before. It made me feel like shit. I scooted my chair closer to him then patted his back. “You’ll get through it, Slade. It’ll be okay.”

  He covered his face and tried to control his breathing. His back rose and fell at uneven rates, and his arms shook from despair. “Why does she need to get married so bad? Why can’t I be normal and want to get married?”

  “I think you do, Slade. You just don’t realize it.”

  He pushed the food away then rested his face on the table again. He stopped crying and closed his eyes.

  I knew he wouldn’t eat, and no matter what I did, he would continue to leave his face on the table. I picked up my chopsticks then ate quietly, unsure what else to do.

  ***

  When I got off work, I went to Skye’s so I could visit her for a little bit before I headed to Slade’s. I preferred to spend all night with Skye because I missed her like crazy no matter how often I was around her, but Slade needed me.