Edge of Love Page 19
I nodded.
“You’re going to work it out, right? Please don’t leave her because of me. There’s nothing between us. I love Monnique and Scarlet loves you.”
“That isn’t the point, Cortland.”
“Then what is?”
“She lied to me.”
“No, she didn’t.”
I glared at him. “She purposely kept that from me. How can I ever trust her again?”
“She only did it to protect everyone. She wasn’t being malicious. She has nothing to hide. You two weren’t even speaking when she and I got together. You can trust her, Sean. That was the only thing she hid from you. Please give her another chance.”
“Why do you care?”
“Because I love Scarlet and I want her to be happy. If you walk away from her, it will kill her. It will take her years to recover, if she ever does. Please give her another chance. I’ll let you beat the shit out of me if that’s what it takes. Blow off your anger on me.”
I smiled. “That’s very tempting.”
“Then do it.”
I shook my head. “No.”
“Then what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know.”
Cortland sighed. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
“Yes.”
Cortland stared at me, waiting for me to speak.
“I don’t want Scarlet to know about this conversation. You got it?”
He nodded.
“If I find out you told her about this meeting, I’ll make her cut you out of her life so she can be with me.”
“That would never happen. She wouldn’t make Ryan drop his best friend, so she would have to stop talking to him as well. You know she would pick her brother in a heartbeat.”
“Are you willing to gamble it?”
Cortland shook his head. “I won’t say anything. You have my word.”
“I was never here.”
“What’s the need for secrecy?”
“Just do it.” I turned around and walked away, leaving Cortland standing in the hallway. I took a cab back to my apartment then watched the game on the television. It was painfully lonely, but I couldn’t call Scarlet or go see her. I didn’t want to talk to her just yet.
I loved that girl more than I could ever put into words. I wanted to marry her and spend the rest of my life with her, but her recent betrayal pained me. The past few weeks have been out of control. It seemed like all we did was fight all the time. A part of me wanted to throw in the towel and take the easy way out, but I couldn’t do that. I loved this girl too much. I couldn’t live without her.
I just didn’t know if I could trust her again. When I tested her, I hoped she passed. If she failed again, I didn’t know what I was going to do. After being with Penelope, I couldn’t be with someone I didn’t trust implicitly. I wanted to trust Scarlet and move past this. The idea of Cortland fucking her broke my heart. I hated picturing it. I hated that he made her come. I didn’t want her to be with anyone else but me. I knew that was irrational and unreasonable, but I couldn’t stand it. Now every time I saw Cortland, that’s what I would think of. Him coming inside her. Scarlet was mine. I didn’t want to share her. It bothered me that someone else that I thought was a brother to me had been where I had been. It was childish, but what can I say? When it came to Scarlet, I was immature.
26
I waited for Scarlet to arrive at Mega-Shake. I didn’t want to talk somewhere in private because I knew where it would lead. She and I would just end up sleeping together. I needed to talk to her first.
When she walked through the door, I didn’t stand up to greet her. She walked to my table then leaned over to kiss me. I turned my face and gave her my cheek instead. It broke my heart to see the pain on her face, but I couldn’t return her affection when I was this upset. I would be lying to her.
She sat across from me and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She still wore her engagement ring. I had never seen her take it off her finger since I gave it to her. Even when she showered she never removed it. The knowledge made me happy. I wanted the whole world to know that Scarlet was mine—especially Cortland.
“I miss you,” she whispered.
I didn’t respond to her comment. I didn’t need to. Of course, I missed her.
She lowered her gaze. “What did you want to talk about?”
I leaned back in my chair. “Cortland.”
“There’s nothing to say.”
“I have a few questions.”
She nodded. “I’m surprised you haven’t tried to beat him up. You haven’t even talked to him.”
I’m glad that Cortland did as I asked. “Well, I haven’t had the chance.”
She sighed. “Please don’t hurt him, babe.”
“Please don’t call me babe right now.”
She closed her eyes in pain.
I hated this as much as she did. “How was the sex with him?”
She avoided my gaze. “Sean—”
“Answer me.”
“It was fine.”
“Did you come?”
She swallowed the lump in her throat. “Yes.”
I tried to hide the anger on my face, but it was useless. “Did you use protection? You did, right?”
She was quiet for a moment. I waited for her to answer me. Was she going to lie to me? “No,” she whispered.
“You let him fuck you without a condom?”
She closed her eyes and nodded.
I was thankful that I heard this from Cortland beforehand. Hearing it from Scarlet the first time would just crush me. “I thought you only did that with me.”
She shook her head. “We just—didn’t have anything.”
“Have you been tested?”
She nodded. “I’m clean.”
“I want your papers.”
A tear rolled down her cheek. “Okay.”
I closed my eyes. I hated hurting her like this. I felt like such an asshole. “So you just slept with him once, right? I don’t think I could forgive you if you slept with him twice.” I stared at her and waited for her to answer my question. If she was going to lie to me again, this would be the moment.
She didn’t say anything for a long time, clearly having an internal battle. “No,” she whispered. She wiped her tear away. “I slept with him twice.”
I sighed. That was music to my ears. She didn’t lie to me. “Do you love him or did you ever?”
“I’ve only loved Cortland as a friend.”
I nodded. “Scarlet, if you want to be with me I have one condition.”
She stared at me.
“I don’t want you to see Cortland anymore.” I waited to see how she would respond. I was just curious if she would pick her brother and friend over me. I suspected she would. It wouldn’t change anything, but I just wanted to know.
“But then I would be taking my brother’s best friend away from him.” She sniffed. “I would have to stop seeing Ryan, too.”
I nodded.
She wrapped her arms around her waist and clutched herself tightly. I could see the pain in her eyes. She was torn. “Okay.”
I stared at her in disbelief. “Really?”
“I can still see Ryan on holidays and stuff. That should be enough. But I can’t live without you, Sean.”
I felt my heart tug in my chest. She hadn’t lied to me even though anyone else would have, and she was willing to sacrifice her relationship with her brother for me. I knew she wouldn’t lie to me again. She just made a mistake. I loved this girl. I rose from my seat and pulled her to a stand. I wrapped my arms around her waist and held her close to my body. She grabbed me tightly. I didn’t think she was ever going to let go.
“I love you,” whispered.
“I love you, too.”
She wiped her eyes on my shirt.
“You don’t have to stop seeing, Cortland.”
She stared at me. “What?”
“I just wanted to see if you would. I
never expected you to say yes, but it means a lot to me that you did. I would never ask you to do that, Scar.”
She breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”
“We’re going to work this out, okay?”
She tried to smile but she was still crying. “I thought you said if I slept with Cortland more than once you wouldn’t forgive me.”
“I was just seeing if you would lie to me.”
“You were testing me?”
I nodded. “Yeah. I already talked to Cortland. I just wanted to make sure that you wouldn’t lie to me. I would have taken you back anyway, but now I feel a lot better about it.”
“So, we’re going to be okay?”
“Yes, babe,” I said. “You can stop crying now.”
She laughed. “Okay.”
“But I still need some time to resolve my anger and jealousy.”
“How long?”
I shrugged. “A week or two.”
Her lips fell in a frown. “I miss you.”
“I miss you too. But I can’t come back to this relationship if I haven’t moved on from what happened. Do you want me to be angry and jealous the whole time we’re together?”
“No, of course not.”
“It’ll be fine.”
“Can I still talk to you? See you?”
I shook my head. “I’m sorry.”
“But I haven’t spoken to you in a week.”
I sighed. “I know.”
“And we haven’t had sex in a week.”
“I know that too.”
“Sean, I can’t stand this.”
“Please give me some time. I’m not doing this to hurt you.”
She sighed. “I know.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“Do you trust me again?”
“Yes.”
“I have my papers at the apartment.”
I smiled. “I believe you, babe. Besides, if you have something, then I’ve already gotten it.”
She laughed. “That’s true.”
“Come on. I’ll take you home.”
“Make love to me once.”
I shook my head. “I’m sorry, Scar.”
“Why?”
“Because I’ll think about Cortland the entire time.”
“Please don’t do that.”
“That’s why I need my space.”
“Okay.”
We left the restaurant and hailed down a cab. When we came to her apartment, I stopped at the front door. “I’ll see you soon, okay?”
She nodded. “Okay.”
I grabbed her face and kissed her forehead. “It will be over before you know it.”
She grabbed my face and pulled my lips to her, kissing me deeply. She ran her fingers through my hair and I felt the moisture from her tears as they touched my lips. They rolled into my mouth and I tasted the saltiness on my tongue. Now I felt even worse for everything that happened. Scarlet shouldn’t have lied to me about Cortland and she should have compromised with me about the wedding, but I hated seeing her in pain. It broke my heart. I knew why she wanted me to make love to her. Whenever we made love, it fixed everything. All our problems were erased. She knew if we were together, it would make everything better. She wouldn’t be afraid that this relationship would fall apart. I didn’t want to be angry about anything anymore. I wanted to go back to the way we were. I couldn’t stand another lonely night. This distance was torture.
I broke our kiss. “Let me make love to you.”
She started to sob. “Sean.”
I opened her purse and grabbed her keys then inserted them in the door. When I got the door open, I dragged her inside and started kissing her again. I heard the movement of forks and knives and knew Ryan and Janice were sitting at the kitchen table. Neither one of us cared. I guided Scarlet to the bedroom then shut the door behind me.
“I love you, Sean,” she said through her tears.
“I love you, too.”
I removed her pants then pulled down her underwear then removed her top and bra. She pulled my clothes off and pulled me on top of her.
I kissed her everywhere and turned her cries into moans of pleasure. I kissed the area between her legs and her depression was completely gone. I moved on top of her and kissed her neck then her lips, imparting all my love for her with just my embrace.
I pressed my forehead against hers while I opened her legs. I looked straight into her eyes as I inserted myself within her. She started to moan the deeper I went.
“Sean,” she whispered.
“Babe.”
“I love you.”
“And I love you.”
She ran her hands through my hair and kissed me.
I thrust inside of her gently and made her legs shake. “Are you ready to come home?”
She started to sob. “Yes.”
I kissed her tears away. “I want you to come home with me tonight.”
“Okay.”
“And I don’t want you to ever leave.”
“Never.”
“Promise me.”
“I promise, Sean.”
I kissed her forehead as I moved inside her. She grabbed my back and pulled me further into her. I knew she was about to come from the intensity of her grab, so I prepared myself for the moment of bliss. When she started to shake, I released myself into her. She moaned as she felt me come inside her, and I kissed her as I felt my moment.
When we were finished, I stayed on top of her and kissed her everywhere, showing her my love and affection. She returned my love with equal intensity. I lied on my back and wrapped my arms around her, but she moved away. I immediately felt alarmed.
She started to dress herself.
“Babe, what’s wrong?”
“I want to go home!”
I started laughing. She started putting all of her clothes and accessories away. The sight made me smile. She was so excited.
“Help me!”
I laughed again. I dressed myself then packed her bags. When we left her bedroom, I hoped it was the last time she would stay here. We stopped in the kitchen and Ryan and Janice stared at us.
Ryan raised an eyebrow. “Are you leaving?”
Scarlet smiled. “Yes.”
“For good?”
I spoke before she did. “Yes. She’s never coming back.”
Ryan sighed. “That’s a relief.”
Scarlet grabbed my hand. “Let’s go home.”
I smiled at her. “Okay, babe.”
27
Scarlet
Sean carried my bags into the apartment then placed them in the bedroom. I waited in the living room and sat on the couch. I was so happy to be home. There were dirty plates, empty cereal bowls, and pizza boxes everywhere. I couldn’t count the number of empty beer bottles. I didn’t feel like cleaning up after Sean right now. I was too tired and elated to care about the mess.
Sean returned to the living room and sat next to me. Even though I was home, I knew we still needed to have a serious conversation. Sean stared at me, waiting for me to speak. I didn’t want to talk so I fell silent.
Sean took the league. “Before we start, there’s something I want to say.”
“Okay.”
“Actually, it’s a promise that I want us both to make.”
“What is it?”
He sighed. “We’re going to spend the rest of our lives together. And since you’re such a brat and I can be a total jerk, I suspect we are going to fight again—often.”
I smiled. “Yes, we probably will.”
“No matter how bad it gets, I want us to promise each other that we won’t walk away. We don’t leave the house and blow off steam elsewhere. We don’t have to talk to each other, but need to stay together and make love every night. It doesn’t matter how angry we are.”
“That sounds like a good idea.”
“You promise?”
“I promise, Sean. Do you?’
“Yes, I do.
Even when you piss me off, I won’t leave.”
“That makes me feel better.”
“This is the other promise that I want us to make.”
I waited for him to speak.
“I realize this is what wedding vows are for, but we need to promise each other that we’ll never break up. Now or after we get married. Ending our relationship is never an option.”
“What if one of us cheats?”
“That’s not going to happen, babe.”
I nodded. “Probably not.”
He sighed. “And if it does. I promise I’ll still be with you.”
“What? You can’t make that promise, Sean.”
“Yes, I can,” he said. “It would break my heart, but I know I would take you back. I know I shouldn’t, but I will.”
“Sean, I would never do that.”
“I know. That’s why making this promise isn’t so bad.” He smiled at me.
“I don’t know if I can make that promise, Sean.”
“That’s fine,” he said. “The problem will never come up anyway.”
I smiled. “It better not.”
“I have no interest in that. I have everything I need.” He grabbed my hand and kissed it.
“So, you aren’t angry with me anymore?”
“You are forgiven, Scarlet. When you told me the truth at Mega-Shake, I knew I could trust you.”
“Thank you.”
He nodded.
“And do you hate Cortland?”
“That’s a different story.”
I knew this wasn’t going to be good.
“I don’t think our relationship will ever be the same. I—I just can’t get passed that. I don’t hate the guy, but I don’t care for him either. Knowing he took advantage of you when you were miserable and distraught makes my blood boil.”
“It wasn’t like that.”
“I know you said it was mutual, but I—I can’t let it go. I won’t ever hurt Cortland or comment about it, but you can’t make me like him. Since I’m not asking you to stop seeing him or spend time with him, then I’m justified in feeling this way. You can’t make me feel differently, Scarlet.”
I sighed. “I don’t want it to be this way. Cortland loves you.”