The Man I Thought I Loved (Two-Faced Book 2) Page 13

  He didn’t text me for days.

  Didn’t call.

  Nothing.

  So, on my way home from work, I called him.

  He answered right away, but he answered with his silence.

  “Hey.” I walked down the street, my phone in my pocket because I had the earbuds in my ears.

  There was a pause before he responded. “Hey.”

  “Haven’t heard from you.”

  “I’m done chasing you.” His tone was clipped, like he was still angry. “Waited for you to come to me this time.”

  I knew I deserved that, so I took the hit. “Well, here I am, chasing you.”

  He breathed a quiet sigh into the phone. “Come by my place.”

  “Right now?”

  “Yes.”

  I’d only been there once, but I remembered the way. “Alright.”

  He hung up.

  I walked to his building, checked in with the security officer, and then rode the elevator to his floor. The doors opened like last time, silently, and revealed the sleek penthouse ideal for a handsome playboy.

  It was later in the day and the end of summer, so the sky was turning pink and orange from the approaching sunset. Some of his lights were on, and he sat on the couch in front of the TV in just his sweatpants and nothing else.

  Every time I saw him, I realized I’d forgotten how hot he was.

  I stepped inside, and the elevator closed behind me. It was the first time I’d been in this multimillion-dollar piece of real estate as more than just a friend. It changed the tone, changed the expectations.

  He didn’t rise to greet me. He leaned back into the couch and stared at me. A decanter of scotch was on the table, along with a full glass. One arm was over the back of the couch, and he stared at me with that cryptic stare. His look was almost hostile because it was so intense. It was the same way he looked at me the night we met, that silent and brooding expression. He was the strong and silent type once more. He went back and forth, easy to talk to like a friend and then the indecipherable, rugged man who spoke like a caveman.

  I walked to the couch and took a seat beside him.

  He turned his head my way, looking at me next to him. His arm touched the back of my neck.

  I was in my work attire, a skirt and blouse, my satchel with me. I let it sit on the spot beside me on the couch. When I looked at him, I didn’t know what to say. It was easy for me to navigate the most difficult situations, but with him, I didn’t have a voice. No one ever left me speechless, and I knew it was because I was afraid.

  Even though I wasn’t afraid of anything.

  His brown eyes were on mine, deep and captivating. They shifted slightly as they regarded me.

  I knew he wasn’t going to say anything, so I went first. “It was easy to get close to you as friends because you were no longer a threat. But now that it’s off the table, I’m tense all over again. It’s not that I don’t want to be with you. I’m just afraid, afraid because the feelings you have…I have them too.”

  Once I started to be vulnerable, that tint of hostility began to fade from his gaze. “Good start.”

  “I want to take this slow.”

  “Okay.”

  “No pressure.”

  “Alright.”

  “And how we were friends before…I don’t want to lose that. It allowed me to give myself to you in the way I do with Charlie and Kat.”

  His eyes softened. “That’s the part of our relationship I enjoyed the most. I don’t want to lose that either.”

  “Okay…good.”

  His hand moved off the couch, and his fingers slid into the back of my hair, playing with the soft strands, slowly massaging the back of my neck. “We can take this as slow as you want. I just want to be together…because you’re the only woman I want to be with.”

  My lungs immediately drew breath.

  “I won’t lie to you ever again. I will be faithful to you. I will never hurt you.”

  “You should never say never…”

  “Well, I can say it.” His fingers stopped in my hair. “Because it’s not easy for me to feel this way about someone. I didn’t even feel this way about Rose. You’re…different. I’m a loyal man, and when I commit to something, it’s a hundred percent. I understand you’re still in a fragile place, that your heart has never really healed since Evan, but you’ll trust me fully eventually. You’ve just never tried before.”

  “I did try,” I whispered. “I saw all the signs that you were lying, but I chose to ignore them…and trust you.”

  His fingers stilled as the guilt moved into his eyes.

  “Don’t rewrite history, Dax. I did try, and it was difficult. Stop making this seem like it’s entirely my fault. The reason we’re here is because you lied, so let’s not forget that.”

  He dropped his hand from my hair and returned it to the couch. “Alright. But we need to stop living in the past. We have a completely different relationship now. I want a clean slate, a real chance. Can you do that or not?”

  I didn’t want to run away from this man anymore, not when my heart was in his palm. I gave a nod.

  “Okay.” His hand moved back into my hair. “When we were apart, I was with other women…just so you know.”

  I’d already assumed that was the case, but it didn’t soften the blow. It hurt, made me sick, picturing him fucking someone the way he used to fuck me. I wasn’t the jealous type, but I was immediately uncomfortable with the idea of the supermodels who’d replaced me.

  He stared at me, as if he expected me to reciprocate.

  “I…I wasn’t with anyone.”

  He stilled at my response, as if he’d expected me to say there had been dozens of men in my bed the moment he was gone. He seemed genuinely surprised, like my celibacy hadn’t been an option.

  I was almost embarrassed that I hadn’t moved on like I usually would, because it was a dead giveaway to how I really felt, that I was heartbroken the entire time we were apart, that I only numbed my heart but never turned it off. When I was out at restaurants and bars, the offers poured in. I flirted with a handsome guy in a suit who I met at the coffee shop, but when he gave me his number, I threw it away. There was only one man I wanted to be with, even though I wouldn’t admit it to myself.

  He continued to stare at me, like he had no idea what to say. “I only did it because I thought I couldn’t get you back…and I thought it would help me move on. But it only made me feel worse, because every time I was with you, I knew it was what I really wanted. Clint rented out this strip club, and money was flying in the air, naked women were crawling all over us and the floor, and he turned to me and said we had the best lives… And it hit me so hard. That was the kind of man I used to be, an obnoxious playboy who has so much money that he throws it at strippers on a drunken night. But all I really wanted was to have a quiet night with you. I wanted to watch the game with your friends. I wanted to have a deep and meaningful relationship with one woman…and get out of that strip club as quickly as possible. Knowing I’d ruined it, that I’d let the past sabotage the greatest thing that ever happened to me, just made me drink more.” He looked away, like the memory of that emptiness was too much to think about.

  “It’s okay…”

  He turned back to me, the pain still in his eyes.

  My hand moved to his chest, sliding over the hard surface until I could feel the racing beat of his heart.

  He stared at me for a while before his fingers slid into my hair again. Then he pulled me closer, bringing my face to his so he could rest his forehead against mine. He didn’t kiss me, just held me there, like all he wanted was our closeness. His fingers stroked under the fall of my hair, feeling my neck.

  My palm glided farther over his chest and to his shoulder until my arm hooked around his neck. I came closer to him then rested my head on his shoulder, my skirt riding up as I curled my legs behind me on the couch.

  His arm wrapped tighter around me, and he rested his lips again
st my forehead, holding me close like he wouldn’t let me go. His skin was hot to my cheek, and he smelled like pure man. It was like getting in bed after a long day, despite his hardness. It was home, going back to your childhood house for the holidays. “You’re the only man I want…”

  Fourteen

  Dax

  I didn’t care how slow she wanted to go.

  I didn’t care if she was the one behind the wheel or I was in the cockpit.

  I just wanted to be on the journey—wherever we went.

  Once I had her on the couch, everything felt good. My heart finally relaxed now that she was mine. I didn’t have to settle for being her friend when I wanted to be the man in her bed every night. I wanted her to be the woman in mine. The last six weeks had been unbearable because being her friend only made me realize what I’d truly lost.

  I didn’t have that problem anymore.

  Our relationship had been built on sex, meaningless, no-strings-attached kind of sex. It was fun at the time until I actually started to care for her. The dirty pictures she sent me were still on my phone, but I decided to delete them because it felt like a completely different woman to me now.

  I wanted more than that.

  She was welcome to send me more and I would cherish them, but the past…I wanted nothing to do with that.

  We were different people now.

  I wasn’t sure if we would sleep together anytime soon, but I got tested to make sure I was clean when the moment did arrive. Since she hadn’t been with anyone, I didn’t need to see her papers if she had them.

  I went to work like usual then went home. Instead of blowing up her phone, I tried to behave the way I had before…when we were friends. She asked to take it slow, and I wasn’t entirely sure what that entailed, so I chose to play it safe.

  When Wednesday night came around, I headed to the gym with the assumption she would show up with Charlie and Matt. I practiced a few shots on the court with the guys, one eye on the doorway, and when she walked in, I passed the ball and walked to the benches to meet her.

  She was in her little shorts and top, a sexy, fit chick. When she wasn’t in her sky-high heels, she was so small and petite, and she seemed to be more ferocious to make up for it. She set down her water bottle along with a towel then turned to me.

  I looked into her face, feeling a rush of joy because this felt right. Those two strippers in my bed on the night of my birthday…did not feel right.

  Then she smiled at me, the kind of smile that lit her eyes with radiant light.

  I lived for that smile.

  “You’re going to take off your shirt for this game, right?”

  Now, I smiled. “Gonna check me out, sweetheart?”

  “It’s literally the only reason I come every week.” She moved into me, and like she’d done it a hundred times, rested one palm against my chest and rose on her tiptoes to give me a kiss.

  I kept my hands on my hips and didn’t grab her the way I wanted. I kept everything contained, restrained myself from kissing her the way I’d demolished her lips in that bar, the way I’d shown her ex what he was missing, not for Carson’s sake, but because of my own possessiveness.

  She pulled away then walked onto the court.

  I gave her ass a playful smack.

  She turned around and walked backward, waggling her eyebrows jokingly before she faced forward again and approached the guys. “Who’s ready to kick some ass?”

  I watched her go, seeing that fine piece of ass shake.

  Charlie came to my side. “I’m happy for you, man.”

  I turned to him and shook his hand. “Thanks.”

  “And she’s happy too.” He nodded in her direction, her hands on her hips.

  “That’s what I want to hear.”

  “Just be patient with her. She didn’t say much, but I know that whole thing with Evan really bothered her.”

  I hadn’t actually considered it because I’d been thinking about myself, about getting the woman I wanted.

  “I don’t think she’s sad that he’s moved on, by any means. But…it’s pretty cold that he is already remarried when it’s been a relatively short amount of time. Just the fact that she never really meant anything to him…is a tough pill to swallow.”

  My eyes shifted back to her on the court, watching her play with the guys with a focused look on her face, treating the sport competitively like it was being televised. “Yeah…”

  “Just giving you a heads-up about the whole thing. I really want this to work.”

  I gave a slight smile but didn’t feel it this time. “I can tell.”

  He clapped me on the back then headed onto the court. “Good luck out there…even though we’re gonna kick your ass.”

  Carson was playful on the court. Whenever she was blocking me, she would find any excuse to touch me, to run her palms down my sweaty chest instead of trying to steal the ball. When she came at me from behind, her hand felt my ass in my shorts. The woman was practically groping me.

  I got the ball across the court to a teammate then grabbed her by the hips so she wouldn’t run off. I pulled her into me and kissed her while the game continued, tasting her sweat and my own, my hands moving to her ass in her shorts and giving her a good squeeze. When I pulled away, she was a bit paralyzed, so I took off, got the ball, and made a shot without being covered.

  She gave me an impish glare then rejoined the game.

  After the match was over, when my team won, we headed to the bleachers to cool off and get some water.

  She sat beside Charlie, her legs crossed, the towel on her head. “My ass is so sore I can barely sit.”

  “Want me to massage it for you?” I teased.

  “No.” She gave me a lighthearted smack. “Well…maybe later.”

  Charlie cringed before he took a drink from his bottle. “TMI.”

  “You want to talk about TMI?” she countered. “What about—”

  “Do not go there.” He silenced her with a look.

  “Dirty secret, huh?” I asked.

  “He’s got a few of them, actually,” Carson said. “Let’s just say he has sex really loud sometimes…”

  He rolled his eyes. “Like you don’t…”

  “Not with a fifty-year-old,” she countered.

  “She didn’t look fifty,” Charlie snapped. “She was the fittest chick I’ve ever seen.”

  “And the loudest.” She drank from her bottle.

  I liked the way they teased each other, like they were really family. I never believed a straight woman and a straight man could be just friends. Sexual attraction and an emotional attachment were inevitable. But somehow, they beat the odds. I wasn’t the least bit intimidated by their relationship. Sometimes it felt like Charlie was actually her brother.

  “What are we eating?” Matt asked.

  “I’ll eat anything.” Carson pulled the towel off her head and patted her face with it.

  “Me too,” Charlie said.

  “Sandwiches?” I suggested.

  “Let’s do it.” Matt got up first.

  I checked in with the guys to see if they wanted to come, but they all had early mornings the next day, so it was just the four of us.

  We left the gym and walked down the street together.

  “Will William be joining us again?” Carson asked as she walked beside me.

  “Maybe. But he’s pretty busy.” I didn’t expect him to join us every week, not when he had a practice to run and patients to see.

  “I like him,” she said. “He’s a cool guy.”

  “Yeah, I like him too.”

  We reached the deli and gave our orders. This time, I let her pay for her meal, and I paid for mine—as two separate people. Trying to bind us together at the register was probably the kind of pressure she didn’t want.

  We sat at the table with chips and sodas and waited for our food.

  Carson sat across from me, going to town on her chips. “Your sister hates me…by the way.”
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br />   I’d never asked Renee how the interview went because I didn’t want to talk about Carson. But we also hadn’t spent much time together because we were swamped all week. We also worked on different floors, so we didn’t see each other unless we went out of our way to do so. “What?”

  “That interview did not go well.” Her hand continued to dive into the chip bag. “Point-blank, she said she didn’t like me.”

  That was shocking to me because I made such an effort with William. “I can’t see my sister behaving that way.”

  “Then ask her.” She popped another chip into her mouth. “It was like a scene from Game of Thrones. I was Khaleesi, and she was Cersei.”

  I knew Carson wouldn’t lie, but I also couldn’t believe my sister would decide to treat her that way.

  “So, I don’t think she and I will be getting along…” She kept eating.

  “No surprise there,” Charlie said. “No one likes journalists.”

  “I didn’t ask her anything weird,” she countered. “She just came at me hard about Dax.”

  I couldn’t believe Renee did that. Now I knew why she didn’t mention it, because she knew I’d be pissed.

  Carson finished her bag of chips then eyed mine. “Are you gonna eat that or…?”

  Just like that, I forgot I was mad. I tossed the bag to her, a smile on my lips. “All yours, sweetheart.”

  “Gonna take half his sandwich next?” Charlie turned to me. “Anytime I come to the office with lunch, she takes half of whatever it is. I’m really glad she’ll be taking food from you instead of me from now on.”

  Carson stuck out her tongue. “Maybe I should stop buying groceries for the both of us every week then, huh? Stop buying your damn toilet paper and condoms while I’m at it.”

  “Ooh…” Matt looked at Charlie. “Don’t piss her off.”

  Carson looked at me. “I just want my man to know I’m not some leech.”

  My man. I liked that. “You can take all my food if you want. I want my woman to be full and happy.”

  She stilled at what I said before digging her hand back into the bag and grabbing another chip.

  Our sandwiches were brought out, and we ate next to the window.