When We Break Page 11

  I should have given him a chance to begin with. “I will.”

  “Thank you. Now…tell me about your daughter.”

  I never answered any of her questions before because I was fiercely protective of Abby. “She’s six years old and just started first grade.”

  “She’s beautiful…from what I remember.”

  I pulled out my phone and showed her a few pictures.

  “Absolutely darling.” Her eyes watered when she looked at the pictures. “My first grandchild…” She turned her eyes away from the screen but they were still moist.

  “She lost her mother almost a year ago. She’s managed to pull through.”

  “I’m sure Silke does a good job.”

  “She does.” I knew she loved Abby as much as I did.

  “I’m sorry I never got to meet her…” She turned toward the window and stared out into the night.

  My heart had thawed from the ice and now I was a different person. “Would you like to?”

  She turned back my way, her eyes as wide as orbs. “You would…you would let me?” Tears were about to streak down her cheeks.

  “Of course. You’re her grandmother.”

  More tears fell. “Nothing would make me happier…”

  “Then I’ll go get her.”

  Mom squeezed my hand. “I don’t know what I did to deserve such an amazing man as my son…but someone has been watching over me.”

  ***

  “Arsen, it’s nine. Where the hell have you been?” Silke came out of the living room with her hands on her hips.

  “Where’s Abby?”

  Fire burned in her eyes. “Excuse me? No hello? No explanation?”

  “I don’t have time for this!” The clock was literally ticking and every second was precious. I stormed off and entered Abby’s room. She was already tucked in bed. “Sweetheart, get dressed. Daddy needs you to come with him.”

  She yawned before she got up. “Where are we going?”

  “Just get dressed and meet me in the living room.” I walked out so she couldn’t ask any more questions.

  Silke was in the exact spot where I left her, still pissed. “Who the hell do you think you are?”

  I didn’t blame her for being mad. But I also didn’t have time to waste. “My mom has lung cancer. I saw her at the hospital and forgave her for what she did to me. She’s only got days, if not hours. She wants to meet Abby.”

  Silke’s face immediately changed when she heard what I said. She covered her mouth and gasped. “Oh my god…I’m so sorry.”

  “I…I haven’t had much time to process it.”

  Her eyes watered. “I can’t believe this.”

  “She didn’t tell me because…she didn’t want me to think she needed me for the hospital bills. She never got any treatment and now it’s too late for the doctors to do anything.” My eyes started to water again. If I had let go of my hate a long time ago things would have been different.

  “Arsen…” Silke wrapped her arms around me and held me close. “I…I’m sorry.”

  My arms automatically wrapped around her and I squeezed her tightly. The tears continued to burn in my eyes. I was losing someone I thought I already lost. Somehow, the pain was worse.

  Abby came down the hall when she was ready. “Why are you crying, Daddy?”

  I quickly wiped my tears away. “Are you ready?”

  “Where are we going?” she demanded.

  I grabbed her hand and walked her to the door. “I’ll explain on the way, sweetheart.”

  ***

  “So…she’s my grandmother?” Abby asked in the hallway.

  “Yes.”

  “But…I thought Grandma Janice was my grandmother?” Confusion was on her face.

  “She is,” I said. “You have another grandmother.”

  Abby looked around the hospital. “Why is she here?”

  “She’s very sick, Abby.” I kneeled down and gripped her by both shoulders. “She’s…not going to be around much longer.” I hoped this didn’t bring back painful memories of her mother.

  “She’s not going to get better?” Abby asked.

  “No…I want you to meet her. She’s been asking for you.”

  “Really?” she asked. “She wants to see me?”

  “Very much.” It was hard not to get teary-eyed when I thought about the situation. My daughter could have had a relationship with her grandmother but I wouldn’t let them anywhere near each other.

  Another regret.

  “Come on, sweetheart.” I grabbed her hand and we walked into the room.

  Levi was sitting in a chair with a coffee in his hand.

  Mom was awake, and her eyes immediately went to Abby. Her eyes noticeably softened and she pulled her mask down her face.

  “Don’t be scared,” I whispered to Abby. “I’m right here.”

  Silke stood behind us, her arms across her chest.

  Abby wouldn’t move forward so I picked her up and carried her to the bedside. She was too old to sit in my lap but I placed her there anyway. “Abby, this is Grandma Sherry. Mom, this is my daughter Abby.”

  Abby just stared at her.

  Mom looked at her like she was the most beautiful thing in the world. “Such a pretty thing…”

  “Thanks…” Abby fidgeted with her hands in her lap.

  “It’s so nice to meet you, Abby,” Mom said. “You look so much like your father.”

  “That’s what Silke always says…” Now that they were talking Abby loosened up a little. “How come I’ve never seen you before?”

  Sadness came into Mom’s eyes. “I’ve been far away.”

  “Oh…” Abby didn’t know what else to say.

  Mom asked her about school and all her favorite hobbies. After a few minutes of talking, Abby relaxed and grew enthused. She talked about all her toys and her friends from school. She even brought up her mom.

  The rest of us just listened to them. Even though everything was under poor circumstances, seeing them interact this way brought a slight smile to my lips. I never had a relationship with my grandparents. At least Abby had something with my family even if she wouldn’t remember it when she was older.

  “Can you sit with me?” Mom asked.

  “Sure.” Abby immediately crawled onto the bed without thinking. She sat beside her grandmother and looked up at her.

  Mom wrapped one arm around her and held her close to her. She stared down at Abby like she never wanted to let go.

  Silke’s hand found mine and she gripped it. She hadn’t said anything during the visit. She didn’t even say hello.

  Ten minutes later, Abby was fast asleep.

  “She’s absolutely perfect, Arsen.” Mom stared down at her fondly.

  “Thank you,” I said. “But I can’t take the credit because her mother was the one who did all the hard work.”

  “But you made her Arsen,” she said. “And I think that was the best mistake you ever made.”

  “It definitely wasn’t a mistake.” I would never regret my daughter even though it happened under the most unorthodox circumstances.

  Mom turned her eyes on Silke. “You’re very beautiful and I can tell how much you love my son. Please take care of him for me.”

  Silke’s eyes watered. “I’m sorry I yelled at you…”

  “It’s okay,” Mom said. “You were protecting him. And you should never apologize for that.”

  In the limited time I had with her, it was clear Mom was a much different person than she was when I was young. She was caring, compassionate, and understanding. It was a side to her I never saw before.

  “I should probably get Abby in bed,” Silke whispered.

  I didn’t want to pull her out of my mother’s arms but I had to.

  “It’s okay.” Mom read my mind. “I’m sure she has school in the morning.”

  I scooped Abby into my arms. “I’ll be back. I’m just going to walk them home.”

  “Nonsense.” Silke pulled Abby
into her arms. “Stay here, Arsen.”

  “I’m not letting you walk home in the dark.”

  “I’ll take a cab.” She patted my shoulder. “Please stay.” She gave me that look that told me it would be pointless to argue. “I’ll text you when we’re home.”

  I reluctantly agreed. “Okay. If I don’t get a text from you in ten minutes, I’m coming after you.”

  Silke would normally tease me for being overprotective and paranoid but this time she didn’t. “Good night.” She gave me a quick kiss. “Love you.”

  “Love you too,” I whispered.

  Silke gave my mom a gentle wave before she walked out.

  When they were gone, I took a seat in the chair at the bedside.

  “You have a beautiful family,” Levi said.

  “Thank you,” I whispered.

  “Thank you for giving that to me.” Mom patted my hand. She pulled the mask over her mouth because she was struggling to breathe.

  I helped secure it over her nose and mouth. “You’re welcome.”

  Mom lay there for a long time, just breathing. Her chest expanded far with every breath and it looked labored and difficult. Since that morning she’d drastically declined. I knew she didn’t have much time left. I kept hoping this was just a nightmare but I knew it wasn’t.

  Mom pulled her mask off again.

  “Leave it on,” I said. “You’ll be more comfortable that way.”

  “I’d rather spend my final hours talking with my two sons.” She had to catch her breath when she finished just a single sentence. “Arsen, if it’s not too much there’s something else I’d like to ask you.”

  “Anything.”

  “This man…who took care of you.”

  “Yeah?”

  “I would love to meet him…and thank him for everything he did for you.”

  ***

  Ryan answered the phone with an irritated voice. “It’s midnight. Why are you calling me?”

  “Sorry, were you sleeping?” I paced in the hallway of the hospital.

  “Hell no. You know I don’t go to bed until two. But I don’t want my wife thinking I’m getting sleazy calls in the middle of the night. You know her…she’s a jealous one.”

  Any other time I would have laughed. But not tonight. “Ryan…this is serious. I need you to come down to New York Medical Center.”

  His attitude completely changed. “Arsen, are you okay?”

  “I’m fine but…my mom has cancer.” I told him the whole story with a steady voice even though all I felt was weak. The last twenty-four hours had been a nightmare.

  “Shit…I’m sorry.”

  “Can you come down?”

  “I’ll be there in five minutes. Just sit tight, okay?”

  “Okay.” I didn’t want to hang up so I stayed on the line. Knowing my mom was going to pass at any second was more pain than I could carry. All I felt was regret for my behavior. I really fucked up.

  Ryan read me even through a phone. He stayed on the line and grabbed his keys before he walked out. I heard the door shut behind him. “You brought Abby by?”

  “Yes,” I said quietly.

  “That was good of you.”

  “I just…she wanted to meet her.”

  “I’m sure.” Ryan breathed into the phone as he walked. “Is Silke there?”

  “No…she left a little while ago.”

  He kept trying to distract me. “I had a crazy day at work. You want to hear about it?”

  “Please.”

  “So, this young chick comes into the shop and demands I ink her. As in, she won’t let anyone else do the work. I told her I only do appointments but she threw a hissy fit. Finally, she wore mee down and I took her into a room. She told me she wanted a tramp stamp. Shocking, right? But when I asked her what kind of tattoo she wanted you’ll never guess what she said.”

  “What?”

  “A rack. She wanted me to ink tits on her so when her boyfriend is doing her from behind he can stare at her ass and her tits at the same time.”

  I released a faint chuckle. “Wow…that’s some twisted shit.”

  “One of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard of.”

  “She’s going to want to get that removed in a few years.”

  “No, one year tops.” Ryan’s voice started to echo when he reached the floor. He stepped through the big doors and headed my way. He hung up then approached me. His humor was gone when he looked into my face. “I’m here, kid.” He wrapped his arms around me and held me in the hallway.

  I had a mom now but Ryan would always be my father. It was too complicated to explain. “Thanks for coming.”

  “No need to thank me. I’ll always be here for you.” He rubbed my back then pulled away.

  “She’s in there…” I looked at the door but didn’t walk inside.

  “Come on.” Ryan opened the door. “We can do this.”

  “Okay…” I stepped inside and Ryan came behind me.

  The room was still dark because the lights were off. Mom was wide-awake even though she was exhausted. She slowly pulled her breathing mask away and stared at Ryan like a man she’d seen a thousand times.

  Ryan approached the bed then took a seat at her bedside. “I’m Ryan. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” He grabbed her hand but didn’t shake it. Instead, he just held it.

  “Sherry,” she said quietly. “Thank you so much for raising my son.”

  I stood in the corner and watched their interaction.

  “I didn’t raise him. He was a grown man when our paths crossed. But I whipped him into shape.” He gave a playful wink.

  Mom smiled slightly. “You’re so good to him and I want you to know how much I appreciate it. He’s a good boy…he deserves the best.”

  “He is the best. I love him like my own.”

  I put my hands in my pockets.

  “I wish there was something I could do to repay you. If it weren’t for you…I’m not sure where Arsen would have ended up.”

  “I do,” Ryan said without hesitation. “He would have become the same great man he is now. He has a spirit that can’t be crushed, and he’s the most determined man I’ve ever known. I may have helped him but he did all the work on his own.”

  “Still…thank you. I wanted to meet the man Arsen speaks so highly of.”

  “And I’m glad I got to meet you.” Ryan seemed sincere with his words.

  She held his gaze for a long time, coughing intermittently. “I do love my son…and I regret what I did.”

  “I believe you.” He patted her hand.

  “Please take care of him for me…”

  “I always will—as long as I’m living and breathing your son will have me.”

  Her eyes watered. “Thank you so much. You’re such a good man.” She extended her hands to hug him.

  He returned the embrace without interfering with her tubes and wires.

  Mom whispered something into his ear that I couldn’t make out.

  And he said something in return. Ryan pulled away. “I’ll give you some privacy with your sons.”

  Mom nodded.

  Ryan left the bedside then approached me. “I’ll be in the hallway.”

  “It’s late, Ryan. Go home.”

  “It’s okay,” he said. “I’ll be here as long as you are.” He patted my shoulder and walked out.

  When he was gone, I returned to the bedside.

  “He seemed nice,” Levi whispered.

  “He’s the best guy I know.”

  Mom’s eyes grew heavy and they closed. She hadn’t slept since I arrived. She must be exhausted.

  “How do you know him?” Levi said.

  “He’s my girlfriend’s father…but he’s a lot more than that. When she and I weren’t together…he got me out of jail and helped me back on my feet. He stuck out his neck for me when he didn’t have to. He’s done everything he possibly can to give me a better life. He’s…my father.”

  Levi nodded. “I like him. And
I like that tattooed ring on his finger. Pretty badass.”

  “Yeah…he is a badass.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Sean

  Someone banged on our door like they were on a mission. “Sean Fucking Preston, open this damn door now!” It was Cortland, and he sounded like a bull that just entered the arena.

  Scarlet was startled from her place on the couch. “What’s wrong with him?”

  I wasn’t sure but I think it had something to do with Cayson.

  “Open it!” Cortland pounded again.

  Scarlet jumped from her seat and headed to the entryway.

  “Scarlet, step back.” I grabbed her arm and yanked her away.

  “Like he would ever—”

  “I said stand back.” I unlocked the door and opened it. “Cortland, what the hell?”

  His eyes dilated and the vein in his forehead throbbed. “You’re a piece of shit. That’s what.” He pushed me hard in the chest and forced me to stumble back onto the tile.

  “Oh my god.” Scarlet gasped then kneeled beside me on the floor. “Cortland, knock it off.” She turned to me. “Honey, are you okay?”

  “I’m fine, Scarlet.” I stood up then gently pushed her to the side.

  Cortland came at me again.

  “Stop!” Scarlet put herself between us again. “Now.”

  I knocked her to the side again so she wouldn’t get hurt. “Scarlet, stay out of the way.”

  Cortland kept his hands by his sides but he stared at me with a look of murder written all over his face. “You. Touched. My. Son.”

  Shit, now I knew why he was mad.

  “Sean, what’s he talking about?” Scarlet asked.

  “You punched my son in the face.” Cortland came closer to me. “And I’m going to kill you for laying a hand on him.”

  Scarlet mumbled under her breath. “Goddammit, Sean.”

  “I apologized to him—”

  “Shut the hell up,” Cortland barked. “That’s my son. No one hurts him. How would you feel if I slapped Skye across the face for hurting Cayson the way she has? Would you like it?”

  I ground my teeth together. “No.”

  Cortland raised his arm to punch me and I saw it coming. I didn’t duck or dodge because I knew I deserved it. He slammed his fist into my face and immediately made my nose bleed. “You think I’m going to let you get away with that?”

  “Cortland, knock it off.” Scarlet grabbed him by the arm and forced him back. “You’re even now. An eye for an eye.”