There You Are

  There You Are

  Book Forty-Eight of The Forever and Ever Series

  E. L. Todd

  Chapter One

  Conrad

  My body was still a little sore from the trauma but I couldn’t feel any pain at the moment. Everything changed overnight. I was broken in places that couldn’t be seen and I was still struggling to breathe. But when I opened my eyes that morning I was healed.

  Lexie lay beside me, tucked under the sheets and keeping warm next to my body heat. Her hair was all over the place, tangled from my fingers gripping it. She looked peaceful, taking small breaths as she continued to dream away.

  I watched her for minutes, appreciating the tranquility of the moment. Most mornings I woke up to a face I hardly recognized. And I certainly couldn’t remember their name.

  But now Lexie was beside me.

  I fell down a dark path for a very long time. I wasn’t myself at all. All I cared about was fucking and pretending not to care about anyone or anything. I was playing a game, trying to prove I didn’t give a damn. But I was only playing against myself, so of course I lost.

  Lexie stirred slightly, moving her hand across the sheets. She sighed deeply as her eyes opened and took in my face. They were green like seaweed, and they contained so much playfulness and joy.

  “There’s my girl.” My hand moved up her tiny waist.

  “I’ve always been here.”

  “It’s not the same when your mind is somewhere else. I like to look into your eyes.”

  “They are pretty, aren’t they?” She smiled mischievously.

  “Absolutely beautiful.” After last night she was different too. She was far more relaxed around me, just the way she used to be. Our playful banter returned in full force.

  She slithered closer to me and moved her hand across my massive chest. “My grizzly…”

  She used to call me that all the time, and I loved it. I released a quiet growl.

  She giggled. “So scary…”

  “I’ll show you scary.” I rolled on top of her and pinned her down.

  She didn’t fight my hold at all. She was a willing prisoner. “Now that you’ve got me where you want me, what are you going to do?”

  I rubbed my nose against hers and growled again.

  “Are you not speaking English anymore?”

  My mouth moved to her ear and I snarled.

  She giggled. “That tickles…”

  I separated her thighs with mine and positioned myself over her. My eyes were focused on hers possessively. My cock slowly slid inside her, feeling her tight pussy stretch for me. When I was completely sheathed I paused to take in the full effect.

  She hugged my waist with her legs and ran her hands up my chest. “God, you feel so good…”

  “I am your god.”

  She bit her bottom lip then rocked with me. “You are.”

  I dug one hand into her hair because I loved having a grip on her. She couldn’t go anywhere, not again. I thrust inside her slowly and felt my balls ache in pleasure. Sex was good with her. It didn’t feel hollow and numb like all the others. “And you’re my goddess.”

  ***

  It was my first day back at work. The bruises were gone from my face and my ribs had completely healed. The assault seemed like a lifetime ago. When people encouraged me to press charges against Georgia Price’s husband I always refused. I had every right to, but considering the fact I bedded his wife for months I had it coming.

  We were even now.

  There was a ton of shit on my desk when I walked inside. Dad and Sean obviously didn’t waste any time piling the work on me. They were the laziest workers I’d ever known in my life. They were just figureheads now but they took the biggest paychecks.

  Assholes.

  Dad entered my office, looking bored. “Hey, Son. Glad to be back?”

  “I’m glad I feel well enough to be back.”

  “Me too.” He came around the desk and gripped my shoulder affectionately. “It’s not the same around here without you.”

  “Yeah, I can tell.” I eyed the stack of work on the corner of my desk.

  Dad chuckled. “We just wanted to make you feel at home.”

  “Mission accomplished.”

  “So, how are things with Lexie?” Dad’s voice wasn’t as warm as it used to be when he asked about her. I knew Lexie really let him down, even if she made up for it in the end. It was hard to change your opinion overnight.

  “Great,” I said. “Really great.”

  Dad unbuttoned the front of his jacket then sat down. “Yeah?”

  “Yeah. It feels the way it used to. That’s the first time it’s ever happened…”

  Dad watched me with analytical eyes. “So, that means you’re happy?”

  “Really happy.” It was the first time I felt true happiness in…I couldn’t remember the last time I felt it. “It’s what I’ve been missing for so long. Whatever we have is exactly what I need.”

  He nodded. “I’m glad you’re happy, Son. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.”

  “I hope you and Mom come around.” It didn’t matter to me what they thought of Lexie, but I was close to my family and didn’t want to stick a wedge in it.

  “Your mom is getting there,” he said with a sigh. “After Lexie protected you like that it’s really hard to think less of her. When it mattered the most she was there for you. That’s what we’ve always wanted.”

  “She was there for me.”

  “And I…” Dad shrugged and stared at the desk. “I have ridiculous standards when it comes to my kids. When Trinity wanted to be with Slade I was disappointed because I didn’t think he was good enough for her. And when Lexie hurt you like that, she became trash in my eyes. I’m accepting of everyone, but when it comes to the two of you I’m very narrow-minded.”

  “I know. I get it.”

  “I ended up being completely wrong about Slade. He’s a great guy. And he treats her right. And Lexie…she was great to you too before the proposal. I’d always liked her.”

  “She’s the same person, Dad. She just made a mistake.”

  “But do you think she’ll make another mistake…?” His voice came out quiet, like he was hesitant to ask the question at all.

  “No.” There wasn’t a doubt in my mind. “She was scared but she’s not scared anymore.”

  Dad eyed me without reacting.

  “This is it,” I said. “It’s she and I forever.”

  “Does that mean you’re going to propose again?”

  The question stabbed me in the gut. I still had the ring in a small box buried at the back of my nightstand. I hadn’t looked at it once since that god-awful night. I’m surprised I didn’t throw it away.

  “Conrad?” My dad rested his chin on his knuckles.

  “I don’t know…” The idea of getting down on one knee and putting myself out there again was terrifying. I was still scarred from the experience. Even if I knew she would say yes I wasn’t sure if I could do it.

  Dad continued to watch me. “I don’t blame you for being hesitant. I know it was devastating last time.”

  “I…I’m not sure if I could do it.”

  “So, you’ll never ask her?”

  “I guess not.” I still wanted to be with her, but I guess we just wouldn’t be married.

  “So, you’ll never get married?”

  I shrugged.

  “But you’ll have kids and live together?”

  “Marriage is just a piece of paper anyway…”

  “But it’s not,” Dad insisted. “It’s a lot more than that. You’ll never know what I’m talking about unless you do it. Conrad, if you can’t get down on one knee again that means you don’t trust her.”

  “I know she would sa
y yes,” I argued. “I just…I don’t want to do it. All I’ll be thinking about was what happened last time.”

  “But—”

  “We just got back together twenty four hours ago,” I snapped. “Give me some time, alright?”

  Dad dropped the argument.

  “Geez, thanks for getting off my back.”

  Dad rubbed his temple. “I’m just looking out for you. Keep that in mind.”

  “You need to accept Lexie completely and fully. She’s not going anywhere. The sooner you repair the relationship with her the easier this will be on everyone.”

  “I can do that,” he said. “Your mother is a different story.”

  “She’ll come around eventually.”

  “Probably not until she gets a grandchild from you. Then she’ll understand Lexie is here to stay.”

  “I guess I’ll expedite that then.” I moved the stack of papers in front of me. “I don’t even know what the hell all of this is.”

  “I’m not sure either,” Dad said with a shrug. “When we got it we just dropped it off.”

  “Why didn’t you just take care of it?”’

  “Uh…didn’t want to?” He grinned like a smug asshole.

  “Get the hell out of my office, jackass.”

  ***

  Roland texted me. You want to play ball?

  He’d been asking me to hang out for a while. I’d been busy on bed rest and being fed by Lexie so I hadn’t seen him much. Now that I was better I didn’t want to do anything besides Lexie—literally. How about next week?

  Why? We have a wedding to plan.

  I said I would be your best man. I never said I’d plan a wedding.

  Well, we’re gonna.

  Can I take a rain check?

  Are you still mad at me or something? Because I know you went back to work today.

  He was being so clingy right now. Geez. I’m not mad, Ro. I tried to find the right wording. When I couldn’t think of anything I just blurted it out. Lexie and I just got back together and I really want to catch up on sex.

  Oh… He inserted a playful emoji. Hit me up whenever you’re free.

  I will. At least that crisis was averted.

  ***

  When I got home Apollo jumped on me and whined.

  “What is it, boy?”

  He whined again, pinning his ears back.

  “What? I don’t understand beast language.”

  He stood on his hind legs and pressed his paws against my chest. He gave me sad puppy dog eyes that practically welled with tears.

  First Roland and now this. “I know I haven’t spent a lot of time with you…”

  He stared at me just like a human.

  “We’ll do something later, okay?”

  He barked.

  “Goddammit, Apollo. I just got back together with Lexie. I want to be with her.”

  He returned to the ground then crawled into a ball, looking pitiful.

  He was giving me a guilt trip and it was working. “Fine. Let me shower first.”

  He jumped up and wagged his tail.

  “We’ll go to the park or something.”

  He barked then rubbed his head against my leg.

  “I guess I owe you. You did save my life after all.”

  He continued to wag his tail as he looked up at me.

  ***

  I put Apollo’s leash on then grabbed a tennis ball from his box of toys. “You want to go to the park?”

  Apollo barked.

  “Alright. Let’s go.” We walked out together and headed to the park up the street. “Is it cool if I invite Lexie?”

  He whined.

  “Seriously?” I asked. “She can’t come?”

  He whined again.

  What an attention hoarder. “Fine.”

  We made it to the park and I found a nice park bench. I sat down and removed Apollo’s leash. “Fetch?”

  Apollo ran up to me and eyed the tennis ball in my hand.

  “Alright. Go get it.” I threw it as hard as I could and it soared over the open field. Apollo immediately sprinted over the grass to retrieve the toy. He had so much power in his legs. He was like a horse.

  We played fetch for fifteen minutes and Apollo never seemed tired. Every time he returned with the ball he wanted to keep playing.

  I purposely tried to wear him out so he would sleep when we got home.

  “Conrad?” A feminine voice emerged from the left.

  I smiled when I saw her. “Hey, Carrie.”

  She had Sassy with her on a pink leash. Sassy tried to break away and join Apollo in the game of fetch. “Haven’t seen you in a while.”

  “I’ve been busy. How about you?”

  Carrie sat beside me then removed Sassy’s leash. “Just work and stuff.”

  “Cool.” Apollo returned with the ball and I threw it again. Both dogs chased after it, trying to beat the other.

  “Anything new in your life?” I knew what she was really asking.

  “Lexie and I got back together.”

  “Yeah?” She smiled like she was genuinely happy. “That’s great news.”

  “Thanks. It took a long time but it finally happened.”

  “A very long time,” she teased. “It’s great to see you happy. I like this Conrad more than the other one.”

  “Yeah, he’s not as much of a dick.”

  “I’m surprised you aren’t with her now.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Apollo wanted some alone time. I think he feels left out with Lexie around.”

  “Awe…how cute.” Sassy returned with the ball so Carrie grabbed it and tossed it into the field. “So, what changed between you and Lexie?”

  “She kinda saved my life,” I said with a shrug.

  “Kinda?” She chuckled. “That sounds like an interesting story.”

  I told her everything, including Apollo’s role in the assault.

  “She did the right thing,” Carrie said. “It doesn’t matter if you’re a man or a woman. If you run you’re a coward.”

  “I don’t know about that…I would much rather die than see her get hurt.”

  “But she should feel the exact same way,” Carrie said. “I think she proved her love for you.”

  A million times over.

  “Is that why you trust her now?”

  I nodded. “I think it has a lot to do with it. I couldn’t keep her away anymore. I was miserable the entire time. One day I just accepted her and I was so much happier.”

  “Good for you.”

  “What about you?” I felt like we were always talking about me.

  “I started seeing someone.”

  “Really?” I asked. “Who is he? I need to make sure he’s good enough for you.”

  She chuckled and rolled her eyes. “He’s a very nice guy. He’s a bank manager.”

  “Do I need to run a background check on him?”

  She gave me a playful shove. “No.”

  “What bank does he work at?”

  “Like I’d tell you,” she said with a laugh. “He’s divorced and looking for a companion. He doesn’t have any kids and really wants them. He’s exactly what I’m looking for.”

  “Is he good in the sack?”

  “Very.”

  “Hmm…”

  “You aren’t my brother so don’t start acting like it.”

  “Okay, I’ll back off,” I said. “I’m glad you found someone you like.”

  “Me too. Plus, he makes me laugh. I think that’s one of the sexiest qualities about a man.”

  “Really?” I asked.

  “Yep.”

  “Who knew?” Apollo ran back to me with the ball clutched in his jaws. “You aren’t tired yet, Apollo?”

  His eyes were honed in on the ball as he waited for me to throw it.

  “You’d think he was a puppy.” I threw it hard across the field and both dogs took off.

  “Dogs are always puppies no matter how old they get,” she said.

  �
��I just wish he would get tired so we can leave. That way I can see Lexie.”

  “There’s the rest of the day.” She nudged me in the side. “And the night.”

  ***

  I texted her and got right to the point. Come over.

  Uh, hi? How are you? Are we past basic conversation?

  I decided to be a smartass. You come over now. Roar.

  LOL.

  Don’t make Grizzly angry.

  Back to a caveman, I see. Well, do you want me to make dinner? I can pick up some groceries.

  No, get your ass over here. I’ll order something.

  If you’re so anxious to see me why am I not hearing from you until eight?

  Get over here and I’ll explain.

  Alright. I’m on my way.

  Hurry.

  ***

  The second Lexie walked through the door I pulled her into my arms and held her there for a long time. Just being close to her was like a hit of cocaine. It felt so good. It made me feel alive.

  Lexie rested her face against my chest and hugged my waist. “Missed you.”

  “Missed you too.” I kissed her hairline then finally let go. “Let’s go to bed.”

  She chuckled and pulled me back. “What about dinner?”

  “I’ll order something later.”

  “Well, I’m hungry now.”

  I growled.

  “Hey, it’s dinnertime.”

  “What do you want?” I pulled out my phone and searched all the places that delivered.

  “Anything.”

  “Chinese it is.” I put in the order and shoved the phone back into my pocket.

  “How was your day?”

  “Fine.” Dad pissed me off like usual and I had a ton of work to do. It wasn’t surprising. “Yours?”

  “Really good. I made a lot of progress with my clients.”

  “Good for you.”

  “What else did you do today?”

  “I took Apollo to the park. Actually, he made me.”

  “Awe, that’s sweet.”

  “He said you weren’t invited.”

  “Why not?” She put her hands on her hips and looked down at Apollo.

  “He wanted it to be just him and I.”

  “Awe.” She bent down and pet Apollo. “How can I be mad about that? He just wants some alone time with his dad.” She pulled him in and hugged him. “Such a sweetheart.”

  Apollo rubbed his face against her chest and closed his eyes.