When Two Becomes One

  When Two Becomes One

  Book Twenty-Five of The Forever and Ever Series

  E. L. Todd

  Chapter One

  Conrad

  Lexie and I lay in bed after a round of sex. Neither one of us intended to leave the sheets even though it was the middle of the afternoon. Half of her body was on my chest, and she released quiet sighs every few minutes.

  I’d become more acquainted with her habits, mannerisms, and emotions the longer I was with her. Right now, she was content and relaxed. I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t leave the bed for the rest of the evening.

  My fingers moved through her soft hair while I stared at the top of her head, wondering what she was thinking. I found myself wondering that more often. When I wasn’t with her, I wondered what she was doing. When we were together, I wondered how long she wanted to stay.

  “Have plans on Saturday?” I whispered.

  She turned her body so she could look at me. “None at the moment. But you know I’m a popular girl.”

  A slight smile upturned my lips. “Pretty girls are always popular.”

  “Do you have something in mind?”

  “I need a date to my sister’s wedding.”

  “Was that your dense way of asking me?”

  “Yep.”

  She rested her lips against my shoulder. “I suppose. Free booze and drinks sounds nice.”

  “And seeing me in a tux and dancing with me under the stars sounds irresistible.”

  “Whatever you say.”

  “Just don’t look too pretty, you know?”

  She sat up and looked at me. “You’ve never told me to be purposely hideous before. Why?”

  “Well, it’s my sister’s wedding,” I said. “It would be kind of mean for you to outshine her.” I was being dead serious. Lexie had soft blonde hair that framed her face perfectly. Her startling green eyes hypnotized anyone who stared at them too long. Her lips were full and enticing. And she had a smoking body. She was perfect.

  Her eyes softened. “As sweet as that is, no one is going to think that.”

  “I do—on a daily basis.”

  “I would hope so since she is your sister.”

  “So, you’ll come with me?” I pressed.

  “As long as you don’t make me dress like a homeless person.”

  “Fine,” I said. “But don’t get mad if Slade leaves Trinity and tries to snatch you.”

  Lexie released a loud laugh. “That would never, ever happen. He’s so obsessed with her.”

  “But that’s how beautiful you are.”

  Her eyes softened again. “I appreciate the compliment but you’re exaggerating.” She settled back into my side. “Aren’t you in the wedding?”

  “Yep.”

  “I guess I’ll sit with your parents during the ceremony.”

  “Clementine will be in the audience too.”

  “She’s not in the wedding?” Lexie asked in surprise.

  “No, she’s too big.”

  “Oh, I understand now.”

  Her ex-husband had been on my mind lately. I didn’t like the fact he was chasing her even though he knew I was the man in her life. Lexie and I were just fooling around and she had no obligation toward me but…I didn’t like him even looking at her. The guy was an idiot for losing Lexie. And I hated him for the way he hurt her. Now she was just as broken as I was and I wish she weren’t. She deserved a happily ever after—a million times over. “Has Jared bothered you lately?” I tried to keep my voice casual.

  “No. But I haven’t visited his mom. I’ve been calling her instead.”

  Good.

  “As weird as it sounds, I actually feel bad for him.” She released a deep sigh while she tucked her leg between mine.

  “Don’t,” I said coldly. “He didn’t feel bad when he was fucking all those chicks while you waited for him at home. Don’t pity someone who doesn’t deserve your sympathy.” I sounded hostile even though I didn’t intend to.

  “I don’t feel bad for him that he can’t have me back. I feel bad that it took him this long to figure out what he really wants. He’s missed out on a lot of things. And now that he has such a bad past, it’ll be hard for him to ever find someone serious. Who wants to date a cheater?”

  “No one,” I said. “Once a cheater, always a cheater.”

  “I sincerely hope that isn’t true.”

  “It is,” I said darkly. “If he bothers you again, let me know. I’ll kill him—with my bare hands.”

  When Lexie was silent, I knew she believed me.

  I could lie in this bed with Lexie all day. I felt so peaceful with her. The world continued on around us, but we seemed to exist in our own cocoon. It made me think of my parents at their house in Connecticut. I never understood why they liked to be away from other people, isolated at their beach house. But now I understood it.

  “Want to take a shower?” she whispered.

  “A hot naked woman in the shower…that sounds like a wet dream.”

  She chuckled then got out of bed.

  I followed her then we got under the warm water.

  I could have sex with Lexie a million times and never get tired of it. Something about her drew me in over and over. Perhaps it was her beauty, but maybe it was something more. I’d seen her soul and knew how tattered it was, but I also saw it’s power and resilience. I cared about her and would do anything to make her happy.

  She turned her back to me and stood under the warm water. Instead of bending her over and taking her like I normally would, I lathered my hands with soap then rubbed it into her skin. I felt the contours of her body, feeling the toned muscles of her shoulders and back. I rubbed the back of her neck then moved down her thin arms. Instead of wanting her sexually, I just wanted to touch her and explore. I knew her better than the back of my hand, but she still entertained me. While I lathered her with soap, I kissed her shoulder. Her skin felt warm from the running water.

  She turned her head slightly my way and I heard her release a quiet moan. It was so low I wasn’t sure if I heard it at all. Then she turned around and rubbed my body with soap. Her hands moved down my expansive chest and to my hard stomach. She stared at me lovingly, like she appreciated every groove and slab of muscle. Then she looked up and met my gaze.

  I stared at her, unable to look away. Something had changed between us but I couldn’t put my finger on it. A new level of intimacy had been reached. Trust formed between us, and it extended past a level of friendship. My heart started to race and I could feel it thump in my chest.

  Lexie turned her gaze to my heart, like she knew it was beating uncontrollably. It was like she could hear it despite the sound of the falling water. Then she stepped closer to me and rested her head against my chest, her ear over my heart.

  I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close to me, letting the water crash on both of us. I was hard but sex wasn’t on my mind. I was content with holding her, touching her, and letting her feel the beat of my heart.

  Chapter Two

  Lexie

  Karen called me and asked me to come by her house for a visit. She didn’t say what she wanted, but since she was such a sweet woman I didn’t ask. I found it unlikely that Jared would be there. He probably would have called me himself if that were the case.

  I remembered the evening Jared introduced me to his parents for the first time. I was nervous because I thought I was going to make an idiot of myself. But they were all so sweet to me, Karen especially. She made me feel like a part of the family the moment I walked inside.

  So when she asked me to come over, I didn’t question it. I knew she was lying around the house because she needed to rest. Perhaps she was restless and lonely. Maybe we could pla
y chess like we once did.

  I knocked on the door and waited for Jared’s father to open it. But instead, I came face-to-face with Jared himself.

  Just great.

  He stared at me with emotion in his eyes. It seemed to be there every time he looked at me. “Hi. Thanks for coming.”

  “Yeah, I came to see Karen.” I didn’t want him to think he was the reason I was there.

  He stepped aside and allowed me to enter.

  The house was exactly as it used to be. The smell of cinnamon came into my nose. I assumed she just made cookies. The furniture was the original ones they got when they were first married. The house was old but it had so much life to it. I headed to the living room and saw Karen on the couch.

  “Hey,” I said when I saw her. “It’s nice to be home, huh?”

  She put down her book and extended her arms to me for a hug. “Thanks for coming, dear. I’m sure you have a million other things to do.”

  “I always have time for you.” I returned her hug then sat on the couch beside her. “So, did you have something in mind?”

  Jared moved to the other couch and rested his arms on his thighs. He didn’t look at us. His gaze was focused on the back door.

  “Actually, Jared wanted you to come over. Apparently, he has something he wants to tell us.”

  I turned to Jared and felt the suspicion rise.

  He still didn’t look at us.

  “What is it, Jared?” Karen asked.

  He rubbed his palms together. “I wanted to tell you the real reason why Lexie and I divorced…”

  This was the last thing I expected when I came over here. I didn’t expect Jared to tell his family the truth. It was unnecessary. And telling them the truth wouldn’t change anything. “Jared, just let it go…”

  Karen watched us quietly.

  “No,” he said. “I want her to know.”

  Karen stared at her son. “If you laid a hand on her I will beat you senseless.” The threat was in her eyes.

  “He would never do something like that,” I said automatically.

  Jared shot me a quick and grateful look.

  “Then what is it?” Karen was losing her patience, wanting to know why her son was acting so odd.

  This was a stupid idea. Karen wouldn’t be happy. In fact, she might slap him to death. No good would come from this.

  He took a deep breath before he spoke. “We were young when we got married and I was…a jerk. Instead of being a good husband, I lied to her and betrayed her trust.”

  Karen stared him down.

  “I cheated on her,” he finally said. “Several times. Lexie tried to work it out with me by agreeing to marriage counseling but I kept fooling around…Lexie left when she realized I slept with her sister.” He stared at his hands in his lap when he finished speaking.

  Silence radiated.

  Karen didn’t react overtly but her breathing increased slightly.

  I stared at Jared, pitying him.

  “You did what?” Karen’s voice came out quiet, but it was full of threat.

  Jared remained silent.

  She slowly rose to her feet, her hands balled into fists. “ How dare you…” She didn’t even finish the sentence.

  I grabbed Karen’s hand. “Please be calm. You just left the hospital a few weeks ago. Jared and I are fine, and what happened is in the past. He and I are okay.” Actually, I still hated him. But she didn’t need to know that.

  Karen pulled her hand out of my grasp then marched to Jared. She stared down at him like he was a rat that just crawled into her kitchen.

  Jared kept his gaze averted in shame.

  Then she drew her hand back and slapped him hard across the face. An audible smack filled the room. Jared turned his head as his face moved with her palm. But he didn’t react in any way. “I’ve never been so disappointed in you.”

  I cringed because the words even hurt me.

  Jared had a noticeable red mark on his cheek. It looked painful.

  “How dare you hurt this beautiful, sweet girl? It’s a miracle you got her to marry you to begin with.”

  His voice came out void of emotion. “I hate myself for what I did. You can’t make me hate myself more.”

  “But I can try,” she hissed.

  Jared still didn’t look at her. “I messed up our relationship, and lately I’ve realized what I’ve lost. Being alone is painful, and I miss what Lexie and I had. For the past eight months I’ve been depressed, wanting something I threw away. I told Lexie how I felt, but of course she didn’t feel the same way.”

  “I’d judge her if she did,” Karen snapped.

  Jared kept going. “I wanted to come clean about what I did. I know you hate me right now and you should. But I also know you, of all people, will see how sorry I am and that I deserve a second chance. And you can help Lexie and I find each other again.”

  “You deserve a second chance?” Her voice dripped with disdain. “You don’t deserve a damn thing.”

  Telling her was a stupid idea.

  “Deserve was a strong word,” Jared said. “Perhaps want is better.”

  “I’m so close to disowning…” Her eyes narrowed on his face. “I can’t believe you would do that to such a sweet girl. She was so good to you, Jared.”

  “I know she was.” He closed his eyes for a moment, like he finally felt pain. “I’d do anything to get her back.”

  “And you expect me to help you?” she asked incredulously. “Because I love Lexie like a daughter, and I will not let her be treated like garbage by some jackass. I don’t give a damn if you are my son.”

  Warmth radiated through me. She always loved me like her own and that meant a lot to me. Even though Jared and I were over, I missed our relationship because I missed his family.

  “I’m a different person now,” he said calmly. “Completely and utterly. And I love her…”

  He hadn’t said that to me in a long time. But when he did say it, I wondered if he had even meant it. Could he mean it now? Was that possible?

  “Changing who you are and apologizing for your sins doesn’t wipe out your past,” she said. “This isn’t a confession with a priest, Jared.”

  He finally looked at her. “Please help me, Mom.”

  She shook her head while she stared at him. “How can I help you? Lexie is a smart girl. She knows to stay away from you.”

  “But I would never hurt her again,” he argued.

  “Get out of my house,” she barked as she pointed to the front door. “Now.”

  Judging the look of surprise on Jared’s face, she’d never kicked him out before. “I—”

  “Now.”

  He stared at her for a moment before he released a sigh and walked out. He shut the door so quietly I wasn’t even sure if he left.

  When he was gone, Karen came back to my side on the couch. Then she grabbed my hand and patted it. “I’m so sorry, dear…” Her voice contained her sincerity.

  “It’s okay,” I said. “I’m in a much better place now.”

  “Jared has never been perfect but…I expected more from him.”

  “We were young…” I didn’t know what other excuse to make.

  “That’s irrelevant,” she said. “What he did was unforgivable. I’m embarrassed to call him my son.”

  That even hurt me. “It seems like his apology is sincere.”

  “It is,” she said. “But that doesn’t erase the horrid way he treated you. He clearly had no respect for you or your feelings. And the fact he snuck around behind your back makes him a coward.”

  “I think he just…wanted both. He wanted a relationship with me because he loved me but he also wanted to have different sexual partners.”

  “I don’t give a damn what he wanted,” she hissed. “He shouldn’t have married you if he was going to sleep around.”

  I didn’t have anything else to say in his defense. I wasn’t even sure why I was trying to help him.

  “I love my son v
ery much. But…I can’t just sweep this under the rug. What he does in his private life is none of my business but as a married man…his infidelity is my business. I’m sorry I tried to push you back together.”

  “It’s okay,” I whispered.

  “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when this happened,” she said. “I just assumed you were tired of his immaturity and his late nights working at the bar. I had no idea…”

  “It’s okay,” I said immediately. “I’m fine now. Really.”

  “I can see that. Does that mean you’re seeing someone?” She turned to me with an interested look. “I hope you are. And I hope he’s a much better man than my son.”

  “I am,” I admitted. “But it’s nothing serious.” My heart ached at my own words. I remembered the way we touched each other in the shower. He looked at me like he couldn’t go on if I left. I broke every rule I laid down for him. He slept with me almost every night, and he was the person I called for everything. At some point, the relationship we agreed on changed. I still wasn’t sure what happened.

  “Do you love this man?”

  Why did she ask me that? I just said we weren’t serious. I swallowed the lump in my throat before I spoke. “No…” It hurt to say it out loud. My body cringed in betrayal. I started to feel sick.

  Karen watched me for a moment, like she had x-ray vision. “Do you still love Jared?”

  I was glad Conrad had been dropped. “I’ll always love him—in a way. You can’t marry someone and then walk away without carrying a piece of them forever.”

  She nodded. “Is there a possibility you would give him another chance?”

  Considering that she was so angry with him I’m surprised she asked me that. “I think Jared really is different, and I really do think he could be a great and faithful husband if we gave it another try. But no, I can’t give him another chance. The hurt in my body runs too deep.”

  “I understand,” she said quietly.

  I forced myself to give her a smile. “I’m really okay. At the time, I wasn’t. But I’ve learned to let it go.”

  “You shouldn’t have had to go through it at all, dear.”

  I shrugged. “I just hoped Jared learned his lesson and he’ll be able to offer someone a lot more than he was willing to offer me.”