Lost in You

  Lost in You

  Book Forty-Nine of The Forever and Ever Series

  E. L. Todd

  Chapter One

  Slade

  “That’s a wrap.” Don Murray killed the lights.

  I stepped out of the studio and immediately downed an entire bottle of water. My throat was parched from the endless hours I put in. My fingertips were calloused and raw.

  “You did good, kid.” Don patted me on the shoulder. “Enjoy your break while you can. I have a few gigs lined up for you.”

  I wasn’t nearly as excited about my music career as I used to be. After everything that happened to Trinity I honestly didn’t care anymore. She was my main focus, every single day. “Just give me a call when everything is ready.” I said goodbye to everyone before I headed home.

  A month had come and gone and our lives were still shaken. At night I still heard the gunshot ring in my ears. Sometimes I felt the sweat stick to my body and assumed it was Maximum’s blood. Sometimes I had nightmares of Trinity…I couldn’t finish the thought.

  It would take a long time to recover from all of that.

  I got my key in the door and said, “Baby, it’s me.” I didn’t want to scare her. I got the door open and walked inside.

  Trinity was sitting on the couch reading. She hadn’t gone back to work or even mentioned it. She stayed home and never went anywhere. Her father came by and checked on her all the time but she wasn’t ready to get back into the real world. “Hey. How was the studio?”

  “Exhausting.” I tossed my keys and wallet on the counter then came to her side on the couch. “Like always.” I gave her a PG kiss and wrapped my arm around her shoulder. “How was your day?”

  “It was okay.” Her magazine had notes in the corner, ideas related to fashion.

  That was a good sign. “What did you do?”

  “I did yoga then cleaned the house.”

  “Cool.” At least she was showering and being active. We hadn’t had sex since the incident happened. I knew she wasn’t ready for that. She’d been in shock for a very long time. “Have some ideas?” I pointed at the scribbles on the page.

  “Oh yeah…” She stared at the images. “I guess I felt inspired today.”

  I wanted her to go back to work but I didn’t want to force it. “How’s my baby?” My hand went to her stomach and felt the noticeable bulge. Now that she was four months along her stomach noticeably swelled. It was sexy, but I couldn’t act on that arousal.

  “Good. Haven’t felt any kicking yet.”

  “He’ll start soon.” I noticed the hardness of her stomach. It was unbelievable that a small baby lived inside her, safe and warm.

  “Slade, it’s a girl. I know it’s a girl.”

  “It’s a boy.” I’d shoot myself if we had a girl.

  “You’ll see…”

  I lifted her shirt and placed a kiss on her stomach. “Boy or girl, I’ll love em’ anyway. But please be a boy…”

  She chuckled. “You’ll change your mind when you meet her.”

  I really didn’t think I would. “We have to have a boy. He’s supposed to be best friends with War Chief.”

  “They can still be best friends.”

  “Eh. Not in the same way.” I pulled down her shirt then stood up. “I’m going to shower.”

  “Okay.”

  I wish she would get in the shower with me but I couldn’t ask her to. “What do you want for dinner?”

  “I’ll make some black bean burgers. Is that okay?”

  She always made vegetarian stuff because she was a health freak. I was a man and needed some meat. But I’d do whatever she wanted—even eat rabbit food. “Perfect.”

  ***

  We hadn’t discussed Maximum Shot in several weeks. I thought pretending it never happened would stop us from thinking about it. But it still acted as a heavy cloud over our heads.

  Trinity got into bed beside me and leaned against the headboard. She was reading a Jane Austen novel. Her bedside lamp was on, and her hair was in a braid over one shoulder.

  I lay in bed and couldn’t sleep. As much as I hated to admit it, not having sex for a month was getting to me. Beating off was an easy solution but I felt weird doing that. It felt like cheating—even if I thought about Trinity. “Baby?”

  “Hmm?”

  “Are you doing okay?”

  She stopped reading her book and turned to me. “What do you mean?”

  I sat up and leaned against the headboard just as she did. “Is there anything you want to talk about? A month has passed but I feel like…you’re still scared.”

  She placed a bookmark between the pages and shut the book. “I guess.”

  “There’s nothing to be scared of.” Maximum shot wasn’t coming back for us, and even if he returned as a ghost he still couldn’t haunt us. “No one will ever bother you again. I promise.”

  She stared at her hands in her lap, considering my words.

  I remained silent so she would have the opportunity to speak.

  “I don’t know how to say it…”

  “Just try. I’m listening.” Trinity and I had an amazing relationship from the beginning. It was all sex, talking, and fun. It was the first time in our marriage when we really struggled. I had no doubt we would get through it, but it would take a while.

  “It’s one thing after another. If it’s not Maximum, it’s someone else. People think they can treat me like some object. I’m tired of it. Maybe I’m just extremely unlucky, but I feel like I’m doomed to be harassed for the rest of my life.”

  It killed me that I couldn’t correct her. It was a terrible thing to say, but these things happened to her because she was unbelievably beautiful. Her body was perfect, her hair was silky smooth, and she had the most beautiful facial features. Anytime someone laid eyes on her, he wanted her for himself.

  “I hate feeling weak. I lock myself in the house and I never leave. I don’t go to work anymore because I have no drive. Anytime I’m uncomfortable I flinch. I really hate it, Slade. I wanted to be stronger, to look terror in the eye and spit on it. But…I don’t think I can.”

  “You can.” I knew she could. “But take some baby steps first. Start working again.”

  “I don’t know…”

  “Hire Abe to escort you. You liked him.”

  “I guess…”

  “Give it a try and take it one day at a time. We’ll go from there.”

  She fidgeted with her fingers.

  “I know you can do it, baby. There’s not a doubt in my mind.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes. I wouldn’t lie to you.”

  “I wish you could go everywhere with me…”

  If that were what she wanted I’d give it to her. “I can.”

  “No, you can’t.”

  “Yes, I can.” I could cancel the record deal and hand the shop to someone else. I could be at her beck and call.

  “I would never want you to do that. I’m so proud of everything you’ve accomplished. You deserve the world, Slade.”

  My heart ached.

  “I’ll give Abe a try…if you think he’s trustworthy.”

  “He is.” I could read people well. He wasn’t a twisted freak. He’d look after Trinity, especially with the amount of money I’d pay him. If he had to take a bullet for her, he would. “Give it a few weeks and see how it goes. If you don’t like him, let me know. I’ll handle it.”

  “Okay.”

  “So…do you want to go back to work tomorrow?” Trinity used to work too much, but she loved her job. She was passionate about it and that gave her a sense of purpose.

  “Yeah, I guess I can.”

  I wanted to break out into a happy dance. That made me happier than sex. “I’ll give Abe a call.”

  “Okay.” She opened her book again, dismissing the conversation.

  I lay down again and closed my eyes, finally able to fall asleep.

  Chapter Two

  Trinity

  That morning I got ready for work with acid in my stomach. It burned in a painful way, so I took some Pepto-Bismol. The nerves were getting to me—bad. There was no reason to be scared. It was my company and my office. I should be able to walk in there whenever the hell I felt like it.

  I could do this.

  I grabbed my folders and my purse and headed to the living area.

  Slade and Abe were talking over morning coffee.

  “Did you see that hit last night?” Slade asked. “Pablo Sandoval is one of the greatest hitters of all time.”

  “Eh,” Abe said. “I don’t know about that.” Abe looked like he was in his late thirties. He had tan skin like he was outside most of the time, and he had a slight scar next to his right eye. He looked formidable, someone I wouldn’t mess with. Despite the warm weather he wore a jacket. I knew that was because he carried a gun—possibly two.

  Slade turned to me when he realized I was there. “Morning, baby.” He came to my side and gave me a kiss. “Ready for work?”

  “Yeah, I think so.” I shouldered my bag and tried to remain calm.

  Slade spotted my unease. “You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

  “I know.” I wanted to run back into my room but Slade’s support gave me the strength to keep going. If he really didn’t think Abe was a good guy he wouldn’t suggest him at all. It would be fine.

  Abe approached me and didn’t smile. “Mrs. Sisco, it’s my job to protect you and I will. You’re in good hands. I’ve protected a lot of people, and I’ve saved a lot of lives. No
one will even look at you when I’m around.”

  Slade put his arm around me. “You’ll be able to get so much done now.”

  “Yeah, I guess…”

  Slade rubbed my back. “He’s going to take you to work, sit outside your office all day or inside if you prefer, and then he’s going to take you home. And you can call me if you need anything.”

  “Okay.”

  He kissed me then rubbed my belly. “I’ll see you guys when I get home.”

  “Okay,” I said. “Love you.”

  “Love you too.”

  ***

  Abe walked me down to the town car at the street and opened the back door for me. He didn’t speak or make small talk. He made sure I was inside before he shut the door and got into the driver’s seat. A window separated the front row from the back row, and it was pitch black.

  The car drove into traffic and headed to my office. It was unnaturally quiet in the back seat. I stared at my folders in my purse and wondered how my first day back would be. I was so far behind on everything. It would take me a few weeks just to catch up.

  Abe parked in the underground garage then gathered my things from the back and carried them for me.

  “It’s okay. I got it.”

  He handed them over without an argument then trailed behind me, being present but never making it known.

  I took the elevator to my floor and tried not to think about what happened on that terrible night. It’d been months since it happened and I needed to let it go. I would never move on if I kept lingering on the past.

  The second I walked down the hall heads turned my way. People were surprised to see me in the office after I quit. I forced a smile and pretended everything was fine.

  My office was still there but I refused to use it. The last time I was in there I was practically molested. I found an empty office and took a seat at the computer. It was tiny and the size of a cubicle but it was better than what I had before.

  Abe came into the door and looked around, examining everything in the room. “This is your office?” He had a deep voice that carried his power.

  “No. But I don’t want to use my office.”

  He glanced down the hallway before he returned. “Is it the corner one?”

  I opened my documents then started up the computer. “Yes.”

  He didn’t ask any questions about why I changed rooms. He seemed to figure it out on his own. “This office isn’t fit for a CEO, Mrs. Sisco. I’ll make the correct arrangements.”

  “Sorry?”

  “I’ll make sure the office is taken care of. When you walk in there, you won’t even know it’s the same place.”

  “That’s really okay—”

  “Don’t worry about it. Get to work.” He walked away and headed down the hall.

  Redesigning my office wasn’t his responsibility and I wasn’t even sure how he would arrange that but I didn’t want to argue with him. I had too much work to do to focus on that.

  ***

  My assistant grabbed lunch for me and I picked at it in my office. I spent most of the time catching up on the new collections my designers had made. Without my instruction they did a good job but I wasn’t satisfied with it.

  Abe appeared at my door. “Mrs. Sisco?”

  I turned to him. “Yes.”

  “Are you doing okay?”

  “I’m fine. Just working on a few things.”

  “Okay. I’m right outside your office if you need anything.”

  “Thank you.”

  He disappeared again.

  Having them there did give me a peace of mind. If someone wanted to pull a stunt they would think twice about it before making the attempt. It would take me a long time to get used to it, but I did feel a little safer with Abe around.

  ***

  At the end of the day Abe walked out with me. He trailed behind me like always, never walking directly next to me. He didn’t speak very often, and when he did he only asked necessary questions. He didn’t make small talk.

  He got me into the car in the garage then sat in the driver’s seat. The black window that separated us rolled down. “Mrs. Sisco?”

  “Yes?”

  “Is there anything you need before I take you home? Groceries? Need to stop by the bank?”

  “No, thank you.”

  “Alright.” He closed the window then pulled onto the street with the rest of the traffic.

  Since I was just a passenger I did more work on the way home, finishing up a few things. Before I knew it we were outside my building. Abe took the elevator with me and walked me to my door.

  “Thank you, Abe.” Now that I spent the day with him he seemed harmless.

  “No problem, Mrs. Sisco. I’ll be here tomorrow.”

  “Thank you.” I gave him a smile before I got the door unlocked.

  He stood there and waited until the door was shut and locked. Then he finally walked way.

  ***

  Slade walked through the door with his guitar case. “Hey, baby.” He set the guitar on the ground before he came to the couch and gave me a kiss. “How was your day?” He stared at me anxiously.

  “It was good.”

  “You like Abe?”

  “So far.”

  “Good.” He released a deep breath like he was relieved.

  “He’s kinda quiet but he seems okay.”

  “He’s supposed to be quiet. His job is to protect you, not be best friends with you.”

  “I guess.”

  “So, you’ll see him again tomorrow?”

  I nodded.

  “Great. That’s great.” Slade was so happy about it.

  And that made me realize just how concerned he was. “Thanks for suggesting the idea. I feel a little safer when he’s around.”

  “Good. That’s what I wanted.” He gave me another kiss before he left the couch. “I’m going to shower and get dinner ready.”

  “It’s okay,” I said. “I can make it.”

  “You’re sure?”

  “Yeah.” I was in a good mood for the first time in a month. “I got it.”

  ***

  I was about to walk into the living area when I heard Slade and Abe talking.

  “She was much happier when she came home yesterday. Thanks so much. Just keep doing whatever you’re doing, okay?”

  “I’m glad to hear it,” Abe answered.

  “I really think this will help her get back on her feet. And if she needs you forever that’s fine too. I’m just glad she’s not terrified anymore.”

  “I understand. I’ve had a lot of clients in my lifetime. It takes people some time to heal from painful experiences. It’s only natural.”

  “I know,” Slade said. “But I think this is the beginning of something great. How was she at work yesterday?”

  “Kept to herself most of the time, but she was productive. I’m sure getting to work gave her a nice distraction.”

  “Awesome.”

  I shouldered my bag then came around the corner. “Morning.”

  “Good morning, Mrs. Sisco,” Abe said in the same tone he always used. “Are you ready to go?”

  “Yes.” I walked to Slade and gave him a kiss goodbye. “I’ll see you later.”

  “Bye, baby.” He smiled before he kissed me. “Love you.”

  “Love you too.”

  He kissed my forehead before he let me go. “Have a good day.”

  I think I will. “You too.”

  ***

  “Mrs. Sisco?”

  I turned to the door. “Yes?”

  “If you aren’t busy there’s something I’d like to show you.”

  Show me? “Uh, sure.” I set my iPad down then walked into the hallway.

  Abe walked with me. “I have a friend who’s an amazing designer. She owed me a favor so I asked her to come by and help out.”

  “Help out with what?”

  He stopped when we reached my old office. “If you don’t like it or you just don’t feel comfortable, it’s really not a big deal. No one should ever be chased from her home. This is your place, and you should be able to return if you wish.” He opened the door to my office.

  It looked like a brand new place. The walls were painted deep purple and the chairs facing the desk were gray. The desk stood in front of the windows and it was made of antique furnished wood, looking like something that survived the civil war. Even the smell was different.

  “Everything has been replaced, including the floors and the windows. It’s brand-new as far as I’m concerned. You shouldn’t be sitting in a broom closet, Mrs. Sisco.”