If Loving You Is Wrong
If Loving You Is Wrong
Book Two of The Forever and Ever Series
E. L. Todd
This is a work of fiction. All the characters and events portrayed in this novel are fictitious or used fictitiously. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the publisher or author, except in the case of a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review.
Copyright © 2014 by E. L. Todd
All Rights Reserved
ISBN-13: 978-1492954903
ISBN-10: 149295490X
“The course of true love never did run smooth.”
William Shakespeare
Chapter One
Cayson
The sun rose and distant rays of light flickered through the curtains. The warmth was appreciated. Snow covered the ground and the earth wouldn’t thaw until spring. The joy from the holidays still lingered, but I couldn’t care less about it. I already had everything I wanted.
Skye was still asleep. Her lips were relaxed, and the freckle in the corner of her mouth caught my attention, like it usually did. She wore one of my t-shirts and my boxers. We were cuddled under the blanket, keeping warm against the winter chill outside.
I stared at her face, unable to look away. I’d been getting less sleep since we got together. Instead of drifting off, I preferred to stay awake and enjoy every second of her. She was mine—finally. It was hard not to appreciate her, to soak her up every minute we were together.
My hand moved around her waist, feeling her petite frame. She was small in comparison, dwarfed by my large size. It took me a moment to understand this was real, that she was really by my side. We stayed up late talking about nothing in particular. And now I was still here—but not as her friend.
I brushed a loose strand of hair from her face, feeling its softness. Everything about her was perfect. Her thin legs touched mine under the blankets. I was only in my boxers, and I liked feeling our skin touch.
It was hard not to press my lips to hers. I wanted her to wake up, to stare into those beautiful eyes I adored. But I held back, letting her enjoy her slumber. Another hour passed before her eyes fluttered open.
She took a deep breath and released it as a sigh. Her eyes took a moment before they focused on my face. Then a grin spread on her lips, making my heart melt. “Morning.” Her voice was hoarse and cracked.
“Morning.” I took a deep breath, feeling the happiness flood my body.
Her hand moved to my chin, feeling the thick stubble that formed over the week. I’d been staying at her place every night so I forgot to shave. “You’re hairy.” The smirk was still on her face.
“Do you want me to shave?” My hand moved slightly up her shirt, feeling the skin of her ribs.
“I’m not sure…I like it.”
“You like hairy men?” I teased.
“No. But I like you.” She moved the back of her hand along my chin, feeling the resistance.
“I’ll leave it then.”
“Just don’t let it grow into a beard. I don’t like those.” She cringed slightly.
“Maybe I will anyway.”
“Fine. Then I won’t shave my legs,” she threatened.
It was my turn to cringe. “I win.”
She smirked. “I always win.”
My fingers trailed along her ribs. “Because I let you.”
Fondness shined in her eyes. “I guess chivalry isn’t dead after all.”
“Not for you, no.” I cupped her face then leaned in, the excitement coursing through my veins. Every time I leaned in to kiss her, my heart wanted to give out. My lips longed for hers, needing a taste. I pressed my mouth to hers and gave her a gentle embrace. Her lips were slightly dry from the night before but she still tasted delicious. When I pulled away, I looked at her face.
She had a dreamy look in her eyes, like she was light-headed and confused. “You’re a really good kisser…”
I grinned. “No. I think you make me that way.”
“I really don’t think so. Because every other guy I’ve kissed slobbered like a dog.”
I laughed. “That’s gross.”
“You’re telling me…” She snuggled closer to me, her hand moving across my stomach. “I don’t want to go to class.”
“Neither do I.” My hand trailed through her hair and to her neck.
“Let’s just stay here—forever.”
“You won’t get much of an argument from me. But knowing you, you’ll get hungry at some point.”
Right at that moment, her stomach growled. “Ugh. You know me so well.”
“I do.” I pressed my lips to her forehead, loving the touch.
She sighed then sat up. “I guess I should get ready then. Why does the weekend have to go by so fast?”
“I wish I knew.”
She leaned over and gave me another quick kiss on the lips.
I melted, like always.
“I’ll see you at school.” She crawled off me then stood up.
I grabbed her arm then yanked her back to me. “One more.”
“Cayson, no. You know what will happen.”
I gave her a mischievous grin. “I don’t care.” I pulled her to the bed then moved on top of her.
“I haven’t even brushed my teeth.”
“Don’t care about that either.” I pressed my lips to hers then felt her legs wrap around my waist.
Skye turned into mush below me. Her lips sought mine, the passion deep within.
I was going to be late to my first class.
Oh well. I couldn’t care less.
***
Slade spotted me down the hallway. He shielded his eyes with his hand, like he was trying to spot something across a desert. “No…it couldn’t be.”
I rolled my eyes, knowing what was coming.
“Could that be Cayson…my old best friend that I haven’t seen in three weeks?”
I closed the gap between us. “You know I’ve been busy.”
He narrowed his eyes while he stared at my face. “What the hell is this?” He slapped his hand against the side of my face. “Are you a lumberjack?”
“I haven’t had time to shave.”
“You can’t be having sex every second of the day. You got to shower sometime.”
I felt the hair on my face then lowered my hand. “It’s not that. I’ve just forgotten about a lot of things since we got together.”
“I hope a condom isn’t one of them.”
I never talked about my personal life, and now it was even weirder because Skye was the woman I was dating.
“Because Uncle Sean would kill you if you knocked up his daughter. I mean, like actually kill you.” His eyes widened then he acted like he pointed a pistol at his head then pulled the trigger. “Boom.”
“Thanks for the demonstration,” I said sarcastically.
“I always wondered if theatre was my calling.” He gave me the same cocky smirk he constantly wore.
“Skye and I aren’t having sex, not that it’s any of your business, so we have nothing to worry about.”
Slade’s jaw almost hit the floor. “Then what the hell have you been doing? Painting each other’s nails?”
“We’ve been spending time together…talking.”
He gripped his skull. “You’ve been talking since we were two. What more could you possibly have to say?”
“I don’t know…it’s different now that we’re together.”
“Seriously, you guys are the lamest couple I’ve ever heard of.”
“I’m not in a hurry. I’ve got the rest of my life to make love to her.”
“Make love?” His face contorted like he might vomit. “What are you? A girl?”
“Well, I’m not fucking her.”
“You should be,” he snapped. “Have you at least fooled around?”
“I’m not having this conversation with you.” I turned on my heel and walked down the hall.
“Come on, spill it.” Slade walked beside me. “I’m your best friend.”
“Skye is different. I don’t want you gossiping about her to other people.”
He sighed and rolled his eyes at the same time. “You know I would never do that, man.”
“You’ve done it with every other girl I’ve told you about.”
“Because they were fuck buddies. I know Skye is different. Shit, everyone knows she’s different.”
“And she’s your cousin…why would you want to know anyway?”
“Not in detail,” he hissed. “Just in general. Come on, I tell you everything.”
I sighed, knowing I was going to regret this. “We haven’t done anything.”
Slade froze on the spot. “I…I hope I didn’t hear you right.”
“We’ve kissed—a lot. But we—”
“Please tell me this is a damn joke.”
“We’re taking it slow.”
“Like the 1800s?” he snapped. “Why don’t you sit for an oil painting too?”
“I just don’t want to mess it up. She’s not just some other girl.”
“I get that. But she’s not your friend anymore. She’s your girlfriend. By definition, you should be tit-fucking her.”
I glared at him. “Could you be more PG?”
“No. Sorry, man. Grow a pair.”
I should have expected this from him.
“All kidding aside, did Skye say she wanted to take it slow?”
“No…”
“Then I’m confused. She probably is too.”
“I don’t see what the big deal is.” I shook my head.
“Because you’ve been in love with her for five years and now she’s finally yours…I just assumed you’d want to fuck her.”
I gave him a threatening look.
“I mean, make love. Whatever.”
“I think about it…among other things. But I’m not in a hurry.”
“Clearly…” He started walking down the hallway again. “Want to play ball tonight?”
“Skye is coming over.”
“Aren’t you sick of her by now….and all the talking?”
I smirked. “I love talking to her.”
“You’ve been blowing me off for three weeks, man. I gave you a grace period because I thought you were getting laid, but that extension is over.”
I had been neglecting Slade lately. Now I felt like a horrible friend. “Tomorrow night.”
“No. Tonight. I’ll be at your place at seven.”
“Slade—”
He walked away before I could get another word in.
I sighed then walked to class, knowing I needed to concentrate.
Chapter Two
Skye
I wore leggings and a loose sweater. Gold earrings my mom gave me hung from my lobes. Light make up gave my face some color. The winter chill made my cheeks paler than the snow on the ground. When I deemed myself to look as nice as possible, I drove to Cayson’s house.
Being with him was indescribable. He was a boyfriend that was also a best friend. I could tell him anything and I knew exactly what to say to make him laugh. He stared at me with affection in his eyes, making me feel beautiful without the use of words. It was more than I could ever have hoped for.
But I was scared.
What if it didn’t work out? What if we walked our separate ways? What would that do to our friendship? I feared getting in too deep. Because in a short amount of time, he became air and water to me. I couldn’t imagine my life without him. It was an existence I feared.
I came to his door and knocked.
He opened it in a flash, like he’d been waiting for my arrival. His eyes were bright with emotion. They were blue and icy, reminding me of a winter storm by the sea. His broad shoulders could carry the weight of the world, and his chest was strong enough to lift a mountain.
My eyes moved to his chin, seeing the lack of stubble. “You shaved.”
His arm hooked around my waist and pulled me inside. “Do you like it?”
“I think you look handsome either way.”
He rubbed the fresh skin then smirked. “Slade called me a lumberjack today.”
“Oooh…I’d like to watch you chop down a tree shirtless any day.”
He smirked then cornered me into the door, pressing my body flat against it. Then his face moved close to mine. His eyes suddenly turned dark, serious. I recognized the look because he’d given it to me countless times. “You look beautiful.”
“Thank you.”
His hand moved up my neck and into my hair. He fisted it before pressing his lips to mine, giving me a hot and aggressive embrace.
I melted at his touch. I couldn’t get over how well he kissed. He knew exactly how to brush his lips against me. His tongue danced with mine, always lighting me on fire just enough before he pulled away. Every kiss was purposeful and precise. Sometimes he would pull away altogether, his lips moving past mine in a devilish tease. Then he kissed me, knocking the wind out of me.
His hands moved to my hips under my shirt. That was where he always touched me, never going higher or lower. I knew Cayson respected me and didn’t want to rush a physical relationship, but I couldn’t deny how anxious I was. If he was already an amazing kisser, what else was he amazing at?
He finally broke the kiss then rubbed his nose against mine. “I could do that all night. But I suspect you’re hungry and thirsty.”
“For you.”
His eyes softened then his hand trailed to my neck. “I can’t believe you’re mine.”
“I can’t either…”
“I’ve waited so long for you…but you were worth all the heartache.”
I hated thinking about the way I hurt Cayson all these years. My ignorance and naivety was ludicrous. Everyone told me how he felt but I never listened. It was hard to understand. “I’ll make it up to you.”
“Please do.” He gave me another kiss before he stepped away. “I made chicken and rice pilaf.”
“That sounds good.”
“The chicken just needs a few more minutes. Can I get you something to drink?”
“I’m okay.”
He grabbed my hand then led me into his living room. He had a small apartment with a single bedroom. But it was enough space for one person and a friend. He sat on the couch then pulled me into his lap. We faced one another and he leaned his head back, just staring at me.
Cayson usually touched me at all times. His embraces were innocent, massaging the back of my neck or my legs. But desire burned in his eyes. And I could feel his arousal against my hips, legs, and ass whenever we cuddled. From what I felt, it was impressive.
“Skye?” He pulled down one side of my loose sweater, exposing my shoulder. Then he leaned in and gave me a slow and torturous kiss. He knew how to ignite me without trying.
How was I oblivious to him for so long? Cayson was hot—like really hot. “Cayson?” I bit my lip while I felt his warm mouth against my shoulder.
He pulled away then sat up, his face just below mine. “I see you every day, but when we’re apart, I still miss you.” He kissed the freckle in the corner of my mouth, making me yearn for him more than I already did. “I miss you like crazy.”
“I miss you too…” I felt my nipples harden and the area between my legs burn. I wanted more than just the heated kisses we shared. His perfection and mind-blowing touch, even in the most innocent places, were driving me wild, making me want him more than I already did. Passion and heat burned between us, but neither one of us had acted on it—yet. I knew Cayson was waiting until I was ready. And I already knew he was wondering when that would be. “You must be wonderin
g why we haven’t done anything more than kiss…”
He leaned back and stared into my eyes. “I can’t deny how much I want you. You’re the sexiest woman I’ve ever seen. Every curve of your body excites me in a way I can’t explain. I want you more than any other woman I’ve had in my life. But, Skye, I’m not in a hurry. And I’m not going anywhere.” His hands gripped my waist, his fingers spanning my back. “I’m a very patient man, and I will wait as long as you want me to. There’s no pressure. So please don’t worry about it.”
“That’s the thing…I don’t want to wait.”
Fire leapt to life in his eyes. It cracked and sizzled, turning into slow burning embers. His hands dug into my skin slightly.
“But…I’m scared.”
The desire evaporated. “Scared of what, baby?”
I didn’t know how to verbalize it, at least in a way that wouldn’t offend him. But he must be thinking the same thing…or at least thought it at one point. “There’s no turning back if things don’t work out or something bad happens in our relationship. Our friendship will be ruined—forever.”
He processed my words for a second, his eyes conveying his thoughts. “I never want to be just your friend again, Skye. And I don’t plan on it.”
“I don’t either,” I said immediately. I cupped his face, looking into his eyes. “You mean the world to me, Cayson. And you’ve made me happier than I’ve ever been. This is where I belong.”
“Then there’s nothing to be scared of.”
“But…what if something happens?”
He grabbed my wrists then brought them together in his hands. “Don’t think like that, Skye.”
“But what if it does? What will happen to us? I just feel better talking about it…just in case.”
He sighed then kissed one of my wrists gently. “No matter what we promise, no matter what we say, it won’t change what’s already come to pass. We’ll never be what we used to be—even if we broke up now.”
“But down the road…”
He looked me in the eye. “No matter what happens between us, I’ll never stop loving you and I’ll never stop caring. If you were another girl, it would be different. But you’re special to me. You’ve always been special. And I never want to lose you from my life. Even if you cheated on me and broke my heart, I still wouldn’t turn my back on you. I wouldn’t leave the group and I wouldn’t avoid you. I’ll always be around—forever.”